Since returning from Iraq back in 2009 I have gained a fair amount of insight into both myself and the world around me. I have had to deal with the side effects of a traumatic brain injury (TBI) caused by blunt force trauma to my head sustained in Ar Ramadi, Iraq. Something I occasionally joke about now about it being my equivalent to a "bullet in the butt". While I may joke about it; it is a serious issue. I have had to retrain my brain to bypass my short-term memory because that system doesn't work very well anymore. I also figured out a lot about the world while I was in the service, more specifically the world that people don't see. It's hard and it's brutal as well as unfair. Many of us that live in the security of our country with our comparatively insignificant troubles are blind to what life is truly like for many people worldwide. I saw things that I cannot unsee and I wish every day that I can scrub those images from my mind. I was home and medically retired from the service for several years before I was even diagnosed with PTSD. I have moments where a smell or a noise will cause me to freeze where I stand and take stock of my surroundings. I can't be around fireworks during the 4th of July or New Years' celebrations unless I am the one setting them off. Alternatively, in more recent years my wife and I have found that if she is with me and holding my hand and talking to me to anchor me I do alright; not great but well enough I don't have issues. All of these experiences have led to a greater understanding of both myself and the world around me. I have been part of groups and private counseling alike. I didn't like it as I didn't want to go. I hated it in fact because I felt weak and helpless. I know that if I feel that way then many soldiers, sailors, marines, and airmen feel the same as me. We shouldn't need to ask for help, we shouldn't need help and we don't want help. Those are all thoughts that I have struggled with along my journey. The fact is though; we do need help. We just have to be willing to admit it and before we can do that sometimes it takes someone we can relate to for us to get there. I believe strongly that through community outreach at the local VA and various other organizations that I would like to get involved with; I can share my story and connect with others. Someone may need to hear what I have to say before they themselves can start to accept they need help. I also am keen on writing fiction novels and would like to include elements of my experience and the real damage that PTSD can do to an individual and their family. Perhaps, as I write, my writing can help those who have PTSD and don't know it. Maybe, it will help save another service member's life from that downward spiral and help them to gain the courage to reach out for help. Even a small thing like a fictional character dealing with their own issues can have a dramatic impact on a person in the real world. That small impact can sometimes be enough. I hope one day that I can be impactful. Thank you for the oportunity to share my story!