My experience with mental health has shaped the way I understand people, relationships, and my future in a way I never expected. Before going through it, I think I understood sadness in a very surface-level way. I knew people could be upset or going through hard things, but I didn’t fully understand how deeply it could affect someone’s everyday life. That changed when I watched my sister Jordy go through one of the hardest times in her life after her dad passed away.
After it happened, everything about her changed. She wasn’t the same energetic, present person she used to be. Instead, she became quieter, more distant, and seemed to carry a sadness that never really left her. Even when she tried to act okay, I could see it in small ways like in her expression, in the way she spoke less, and in how she seemed like she was always thinking about something heavier than what was in front of her.
What made it especially hard for me was that it scared me. I didn’t know how to process what I was seeing, and I didn’t know how to help her in a way that actually mattered. I wanted so badly to fix it or take away what she was feeling, but I couldn’t. That helpless feeling stuck with me. I would find myself constantly worrying about her, even when I wasn’t around her, thinking about whether she was okay or if there was something more I should be doing.
I didn’t have any big solution or perfect way to support her. The only thing I really knew how to do was just be there. So that’s what I did. I showed up for her in the ways I could. I listened when she talked, even when she didn’t say much. I stayed present, even when things felt uncomfortable or heavy. I learned that sometimes support doesn’t look like fixing something, it looks like not letting someone feel alone in it.
Over time, that experience changed how I see mental health completely. I realized that a lot of people are carrying things that others don’t see. From the outside, someone can seem fine, but internally they might be struggling in ways that are hard to explain or even understand. I also learned that grief isn’t something that follows a timeline. It doesn’t just “end” when people expect it to. It shifts, it lingers, and it shows up differently for everyone.
That understanding changed how I show up in my relationships. I became more patient and more aware that people might be going through things they don’t talk about. I started paying more attention to how people act when they are overwhelmed or quiet, and I learned to check in more often in simple ways. I also learned that listening is more powerful than I used to think. Sometimes people don’t need advice, they just need to feel heard and understood without judgment.
At the same time, this experience also taught me something important about myself. I learned that while I care deeply about the people in my life, I can’t carry everything for them. I had to understand the difference between supporting someone and trying to take on their pain as my own. That was not easy for me, especially because I care so much about the people close to me, but I realized that constantly worrying and holding everything inside wasn’t helping either of us. Learning that balance was difficult, but necessary.
This experience also influenced my goals for the future. Before going through this, I didn’t think as deeply about mental health or how much it impacts people’s daily lives. But after seeing what my sister went through, I started to understand how important emotional support really is. It made me realize that there are so many people who are struggling quietly and don’t always have the support they need.
Because of that, I feel more drawn toward a future where I can help people in some way, whether that is in healthcare, counseling, or another field where I can make a difference in someone’s life. I want to be in a position where I can help people feel seen, understood, and supported, especially during the moments when they feel like they are carrying things alone.
Looking back, I don’t think I realized at the time how much that experience would change me. It didn’t just teach me about mental health, it taught me about empathy, patience, and presence. It showed me that you don’t always have the answers, and you don’t always know the right thing to say, but being there still matters. Even when I felt scared and unsure, I stayed. And in the end, that taught me more than anything else.
Overall, going through this with my sister changed the way I see the world. It made me more aware of what people might be carrying silently, more compassionate toward people who are struggling, and more grateful for the importance of simply showing up. I learned that I don’t have to fix everything to make a difference in someone’s life. Sometimes, just being there is enough, and that is something I will carry with me for the rest of my life.