During the late 80s and early 90s my uncle was kicked out of my grandparents home because he was accused of smoking. But in reality he was surfing. My uncle was either experimenting with drugs or he had gotten into a fight that caused him to crack his head open. Which had caused him to get schizophrenia. When this incident happened my mother’s family was frantic and worried of how his life would turn out. In his early stages he would have episodes where he couldn’t control his anger. And there were times when he would long for a girlfriend to have. This made a big impact not only on my family but on me as well. I always knew not to experiment with drugs or anything that would alter my state of being. And I knew that from example of my uncle who was beaten or had tried drugs, my life could possibly end up like that. So as guidance I would use that story to always be a reminder that sometimes mental illness comes naturally or you can induce it. Helping others even if it might be giving advice or helping someone feel better has always been my niche. I have many people in my family who struggle with illnesses, pursuing a healthcare degree could mean that I could help them even on a personal level. To be a nurse is to be a caregiver. Its someone who takes time from their day just to make sure that the patient feels better. And that is what I strive to be. My uncle is a loving one. He sleeps, smokes cigarettes, eats, and plays with cards. That is his life everyday. Although it isn’t the most healthy, the prescription medications that he is on makes him sleep all the time and not do much. I always hoped and wonder what life would be like if my uncle were to have a normal life, with kids and a wife. What life would’ve been like if he never experimented with drugs or if he hadn’t had his head cracked open a fight. I wonder if I would’ve had three or four cousins. I can’t focus to much on what w would have been. I instead of focus on what I have and how I can make it better. To keep my mind in a healthy state. I don’t want to get looped up on what would’ve been in always try to focus on what I have and be grateful for it. I have no regrets because it is lead me to the life that I have now which is full of a mixed emotions. Yeah I persevered to always believe in myself.

Am I too Mexican or am I too American? What if it doesn't work out? How can I help my family faster? What if its not meant for me? These are all questions I ask myself as a hormonal teenager trying to find out if dropshipping really works so I can help my family faster. But my solution to it all is school. Continuing school to become a Nurse and hope for the best. As a LatinX student I personally question if I am too Mexican for my professors, will they understand me or understand where I come from? Can they see my eye bags from staying up all night because my parents fight about how my dad can provide more money? Change signifies growth and is usually seen as a positive connotation. Change is what keeps us evolving as humans. Change is what made me who I am because when you travel, make new friends, or find new hobbies you understand who you are more. Yet I struggle with change. When I've switched schools, move to new places, and meet new people I begin to struggle with being happy because it's hard for me to adapt to change. I enjoy being in the comfort of what I think won't change. Then when there is instability financial and my parents are crying because they don't know where we will end up. I've come to understand that learning how to help my parents financially isn't my problem yet. I was a twelve year old girl looking for ways on youtube to make money even if it wasn't a lot it was something that could help my family. Aside from change, when I would go to Mexico to visit my grandma, she would question my mom 'why is she so American?' or 'why haven't you taught her Spanish yet?' and honestly I'm not sure why. When I had moved for a year to a middle school that was predominantly white, I would wonder if my clothes were to Mexican or if the way I talked was to Mexican. I felt shame for the first time in the way I looked and wanted blonde and blue eyes. As a girl so young having an identity crisis, it was hard when at that age I was having a hard time adapting to change. When I had came back to my home town and saw that girls my age that looked Mexican and embraced it. I felt like being without a home struggling was the change I needed within myself and for my family financially. Because there is love in the struggle and pain. Am I too Mexican or Am I too American? And if it doesn't work out or should I help my family financially at a young age? Is it meant for me? And the answer is I am the right amount or Mexican and American, it will work out, you will help your family eventually, and it is meant for you. From an older and wiser perspective it will be better.

It was a hot summer day. And to be in fact it was the Fourth of July. On this specific day we were planning to go to a family friend’s Fourth of July and celebrate our Independence Day with them. Yet in the morning before we attended the gathering it started like any other. My mom had left to go get groceries and my siblings and I were doing our own thing. Yet those past couple of days my brother had been playing video games, too much. To the point where his eyes turned red from playing for 4 hours straight. I had brushed it off. Because I didn’t want to worry about him and I wanted to do my own thing. My brother was playing games all day that my dad had called him. And upon going up to my dad, my dad realized that brothers eyes were red and his face was turning white. He thought my brother was dehydrated from playing all morning and not eating or drinking water once. So my dad was thinking water would suffice. My dad started to cut his hair until he fainted. Also, because my dad has never been in this kind of situation, well he started freaking out. He had called my other brother because he wasn’t expecting him to fall all of a sudden. I had then come out of my room with my cousin because of how worried my dad was and how worried I was too. Then luckily my brother had suddenly woken up. And then, when I looked at his face, his lips were white and I gave him an ice pack to cool him down, and then he started freaking out because my dad was freaking out. This being said, I tried to look for the ABC’s to make sure he had airway, that he had breathing, and that he had most importantly circulation flowing through his body. Yet all this wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t realized I wanted to be a nurse. And how I realized that I wanted to be a nurse with an interesting story as well. It was a hot and sunny October 28. I was going with my family to attend a wedding of a family relative. Upon being at the venue which ended up being my aunt‘s house. I talked to my aunt Leslie and asked her what she does as a profession. She began to tell me that her purpose in life is to become a mom so she decided to become a labor and delivery nurse. So given that I had always wanted to be a neurosurgeon, I began to realize that becoming a brain surgeon would require 15 to 17 years of my life. Which is technically 25% of my life. So I decided that I would become a nurse because they are the real doctors.

It was a hot summer day. And to be in fact it was the Fourth of July. On this specific day we were planning to go to a family friend’s Fourth of July and celebrate our Independence Day with them. Yet in the morning before we attended the gathering it started like any other. My mom had left to go get groceries and my siblings and I were doing our own thing. Yet those past couple of days my brother had been playing video games, too much. To the point where his eyes turned red from playing for 4 hours straight. I had brushed it off. Because I didn’t want to worry about him and I wanted to do my own thing. My brother was playing games all day that my dad had called him. And upon going up to my dad, my dad realized that brothers eyes were red and his face was turning white. He thought my brother was dehydrated from playing all morning and not eating or drinking water once. So my dad was thinking water would suffice. My dad started to cut his hair until he fainted. Also, because my dad has never been in this kind of situation, well he started freaking out. He had called my other brother because he wasn’t expecting him to fall all of a sudden. I had then come out of my room with my cousin because of how worried my dad was and how worried I was too. Then luckily my brother had suddenly woken up. And then, when I looked at his face, his lips were white and I gave him an ice pack to cool him down, and then he started freaking out because my dad was freaking out. This being said, I tried to look for the ABC’s to make sure he had airway, that he had breathing, and that he had most importantly circulation flowing through his body. Yet all this wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t realized I wanted to be a nurse. And how I realized that I wanted to be a nurse with an interesting story as well. Helping others even if it might be giving advice or helping someone feel better has always been my niche. I have many people in my family who struggle with illnesses, pursuing a healthcare degree could mean that I could help them even on a personal level. To be a nurse is to be a caregiver. Its someone who takes time from their day just to make sure that the patient feels better. And that is what I strive to be. It was a hot and sunny October 28. I was going with my family to attend a wedding of a family relative. Upon being at the venue which ended up being my aunt‘s house. I talked to my aunt Leslie and asked her what she does as a profession. She began to tell me that her purpose in life is to become a mom so she decided to become a labor and delivery nurse. So given that I had always wanted to be a neurosurgeon, I began to realize that becoming a brain surgeon would require 15 to 17 years of my life. Which is technically 25% of my life. So I decided that I would become a nurse because they are the real doctors.

My family and I went to a wedding. We went to a wedding of one of the first grandchildren to be married. It felt odd to say it that day because the groom was my cousin and although I am years younger than he is. It is a full circle moment to see that his life is happening in a different way than mine. So, when he decided to get married, it was quick and we asked why he wanted to get married so fast. What was the rush? And he said that it was just time for the beginning of his life to start with his bride. He took the initiative to become the man of their future home together. I turn 19 in three months, I live at home, and I have taken leadership in my life by finally knowing my purpose. It isn’t to become married or to become a mother… yet. During the reception of the wedding that was hosted at my aunt’s home, I felt the urge to dance with her. Whilst dancing with her I asked what she did as a career and her response was nursing. In that exact moment, that is where I fell in love with nursing. She gave me 2 books and a promised future nursing mission trip to South America once I get my passport. It was all because of a wedding that I found my future and have a better connection with my aunt. I was always that 11 year old girl at a party caring for the kids and making sure that they aren’t hurt. I am always the girl that makes connections with random elderly women. Now I hope to say in 3 years that I will forever be the girl that heals the hurt and connects with the patients. It’s like what they say, weddings bring families together and bring the future. Take initiative of the moment. If I didn't dance with my aunt, I would have still been confused with what I wanted to do with my life. If it feels like serendipity or like it will get you one step to your goal. It might be the direction of leadership you need to be going in and it will not be easy but it will be worth it in the end. Leadership within ourselves is what brings the answers to the unanswered questions.

Women have the choice to choose between life and death. Abortion might seem like the convenient choice or the easy way out yet after it all, there will still be the burden of the action taken. From this argument, there has been a lot of heat and misunderstanding from both sides, especially the pro-life side. Judith Thompson argues that women have the choice to choose between having an abortion or not, I would argue that women do have the choice but it isn’t ethically right despite circumstances. Thompson wrote a passage stating that abortion should be legal, a woman's choice, and that it isn’t wrong to choose that option. In a part of her passage, she writes a story about how a violinist is attached to you not by choice, and that violinist is using your circulatory system to get better within a span of 9 months. When she wrote this it is in comparison to sacrificing your life for a baby for nine months. She states that we aren’t obligated to help the “violinist” and that we are free to let the person die. I know that if I was put into a place where I had the option to help someone’s life and I could do it for some time until they were fully capable of working on their own. I would do it. I think that many people see the situation more negatively and don’t look at the outcome of how saving the violinist’s life is a good thing. I argue against Thompson because if there is a chance to help then I am willing to provide in some way. As a society we morally have the right to connect with people, agree to disagree, and have the right intentions to become better every day. Immanuel Kant writes that life has purpose and morality. That humanity as a whole should love ourselves, others, and life itself. Nature has its laws that cannot be argued with because if we try to alter nature life would become messy. Furthermore, Kant states,“I am willing to admit out of love of humanity that even most of our actions are correct, but if we look closer at them we everywhere come upon the dear self which is always prominent, and it is this they have in view and not the strict command of duty which would often require self-denial”(Kant 1). From my outlook of Kant, expresses that humans are right sometimes but in the times we aren’t humans shouldn’t fight what is natural. I side with him because abortions are not of nature, abortions were not meant to happen, and it is only natural to not fight against the life of a baby. Thompson, Judith J. “A Defense of Abortion.” Judith Jarvis Thompson: A Defense of Abortion, 1971, spot.colorado.edu/~heathwoo/Phil160,Fall02/thomson.htm. Kant, Immanuel. Excerpts Fundamental Metaphysics of Morals, 1785, gcccd.instructure.com/courses/56242/files/9865078?wrap=1. Hawkins, Kristan. “Alabama Is Showing the Way to Protect All Human Life from Abortion.” USA Today, Gannett Satellite Information Network, 17 May 2019, www.usatoday.com/story/opinion/2019/05/15/alabama-abortion-ban-bill-protects-human-life-charges-abortionists-column/3680950002/.

My family and I went to a wedding. We went to a wedding of one of the first grandchildren to be married. It felt odd to say it that day because the groom was my cousin and although I am years younger than he is. It is a full circle moment to see that his life is happening in a different way than mine. So, when he decided to get married, it was quick and we asked why he wanted to get married so fast. What was the rush? And he said that it was just time for the beginning of his life to start with his bride. He took the initiative to become the man of their future home together. I turn 19 in three months, I live at home, and I have taken leadership in my life by finally knowing my purpose. It isn’t to become married or to become a mother… yet. During the reception of the wedding that was hosted at my aunt’s home, I felt the urge to dance with her. Whilst dancing with her I asked what she did as a career and her response was nursing. In that exact moment, that is where I fell in love with nursing. She gave me 2 books and a promised future nursing mission trip to South America once I get my passport. It was all because of a wedding that I found my future and have a better connection with my aunt. I was always that 11 year old girl at a party caring for the kids and making sure that they aren’t hurt. I am always the girl that makes connections with random elderly women. Now I hope to say in 3 years that I will forever be the girl that heals the hurt and connects with the patients. It’s like what they say, weddings bring families together and bring the future. Take initiative of the moment. If I didn't dance with my aunt, I would have still been confused with what I wanted to do with my life. If it feels like serendipity or like it will get you one step to your goal. It might be the direction of leadership you need to be going in and it will not be easy but it will be worth it in the end. Leadership within ourselves is what brings the answers to the unanswered questions.

My family and I went to a wedding. We went to a wedding of one of the first grandchildren to be married. It felt odd to say it that day because the groom was my cousin and although I am years younger than he is. It is a full circle moment to see that his life is happening in a different way than mine. So, when he decided to get married, it was quick and we asked why he wanted to get married so fast. What was the rush? And he said that it was just time for the beginning of his life to start with his bride. He took the initiative to become the man of their future home together. I turn 19 in three months, I live at home, and I have taken leadership in my life by finally knowing my purpose. It isn’t to become married or to become a mother… yet. During the reception of the wedding that was hosted at my aunt’s home, I felt the urge to dance with her. Whilst dancing with her I asked what she did as a career and her response was nursing. In that exact moment, that is where I fell in love with nursing. She gave me 2 books and a promised future nursing mission trip to South America once I get my passport. It was all because of a wedding that I found my future and have a better connection with my aunt. I was always that 11 year old girl at a party caring for the kids and making sure that they aren’t hurt. I am always the girl that makes connections with random elderly women. Now I hope to say in 3 years that I will forever be the girl that heals the hurt and connects with the patients. It’s like what they say, weddings bring families together and bring the future. Take initiative of the moment. If I didn't dance with my aunt, I would have still been confused with what I wanted to do with my life. If it feels like serendipity or like it will get you one step to your goal. It might be the direction of leadership you need to be going in and it will not be easy but it will be worth it in the end. Leadership within ourselves is what brings the answers to the unanswered questions.

During the late 80s and early 90s my uncle was kicked out of my grandparents home because he was accused of smoking. But in reality he was surfing. My uncle was either experimenting with drugs or he had gotten into a fight that caused him to crack his head open. Which had caused him to get schizophrenia. When this incident happened my mother’s family was frantic and worried of how his life would turn out. In his early stages he would have episodes where he couldn’t control his anger. And there were times when he would long for a girlfriend to have. This made a big impact not only on my family but on me as well. I always knew not to experiment with drugs or anything that would alter my state of being. And I knew that from example of my uncle who was beaten or had tried drugs, my life could possibly end up like that. So as guidance I would use that story to always be a reminder that sometimes mental illness comes naturally or you can induce it. Helping others even if it might be giving advice or helping someone feel better has always been my niche. I have many people in my family who struggle with illnesses, pursuing a healthcare degree could mean that I could help them even on a personal level. To be a nurse is to be a caregiver. Its someone who takes time from their day just to make sure that the patient feels better. And that is what I strive to be. My uncle is a loving one. He sleeps, smokes cigarettes, eats, and plays with cards. That is his life everyday. Although it isn’t the most healthy, the prescription medications that he is on makes him sleep all the time and not do much. I always hoped and wonder what life would be like if my uncle were to have a normal life, with kids and a wife. What life would’ve been like if he never experimented with drugs or if he hadn’t had his head cracked open a fight. I wonder if I would’ve had three or four cousins. I can’t focus to much on what w would have been. I instead of focus on what I have and how I can make it better. To keep my mind in a healthy state. I don’t want to get looped up on what would’ve been in always try to focus on what I have and be grateful for it. I have no regrets because it is lead me to the life that I have now which is full of a mixed emotions. Yeah I persevered to always believe in myself.

We would turn on our oven and sit around it to keep ourselves warm. My family and I would pick up recipes on the floor and whoever had the highest total would win. There would be days where my mom wouldn’t eat so that my dad and her kids would. My dad was the only one working. Even when my mom was trying in cosmetology school. It was enough to suffice. She was pregnant with her third child and my parents weren’t around much at that time. And when they were around all I could remember was hearing yelling in the background. It was almost like music. It was poetic. Money is what we need. How will we survive? Money is what you need. How will you suffice? Money is what I need because I’ve sacrificed. My mom and dad would fight about how they were going to maintain our family. How life was going to be once the baby was born. About 3 years later, we had a cop come to our door and tell us that we were getting evicted. We were confused because our uncle was renting his home to us. Why would he need a cop to tell us? And now that I’m older, I realize it was too hard to come and tell us because he knew our financial struggle. He knew we wouldn’t have any other place to go. So we became homeless. My dad was living out of a shed and a warehouse and my mom and my siblings were couch surfing at my grandmas. Yet, even through this experience, at least I had a roof over my head. Even through hardship and becoming homeless I strive to persevere and not let that happen to the next generation of what’s to come. I’ve strived to maintain the money that I have for emergencies and continue school outside of high school. I strive to live comfortably and not have a cop come to my door and tell me I’m getting evicted. I won’t be a victim of what has happened in the past. I acknowledge what has happened and continue to break the chains of what binds me to being incapable of succeeding. Every low point in my life is a memory that teaches me a valuable lesson. Which to me is to always keep going even if financially I might not have it all.

My family and I went to a wedding. We went to a wedding of one of the first grandchildren to be married. It felt odd to say it that day because the groom was my cousin and although I am years younger than he is. It is a full circle moment to see that his life is happening in a different way than mine. So, when he decided to get married, it was quick and we asked why he wanted to get married so fast. What was the rush? And he said that it was just time for the beginning of his life to start with his bride. He took the initiative to become the man of their future home together. I turn 19 in three months, I live at home, and I have taken leadership in my life by finally knowing my purpose. It isn’t to become married or to become a mother… yet. During the reception of the wedding that was hosted at my aunt’s home, I felt the urge to dance with her. Whilst dancing with her I asked what she did as a career and her response was nursing. In that exact moment, that is where I fell in love with nursing. She gave me 2 books and a promised future nursing mission trip to South America once I get my passport. It was all because of a wedding that I found my future and have a better connection with my aunt. I was always that 11 year old girl at a party caring for the kids and making sure that they aren’t hurt. I am always the girl that makes connections with random elderly women. Now I hope to say in 3 years that I will forever be the girl that heals the hurt and connects with the patients. It’s like what they say, weddings bring families together and bring the future. Take initiative of the moment. If I didn't dance with my aunt, I would have still been confused with what I wanted to do with my life. If it feels like serendipity or like it will get you one step to your goal. It might be the direction of leadership you need to be going in and it will not be easy but it will be worth it in the end. Leadership within ourselves is what brings the answers to the unanswered questions.

It was a hot summer day. And to be in fact it was the Fourth of July. On this specific day we were planning to go to a family friend’s Fourth of July and celebrate our Independence Day with them. Yet in the morning before we attended the gathering it started like any other. My mom had left to go get groceries and my siblings and I were doing our own thing. Yet those past couple of days my brother had been playing video games, too much. To the point where his eyes turned red from playing for 4 hours straight. I had brushed it off. Because I didn’t want to worry about him and I wanted to do my own thing. My brother was playing games all day that my dad had called him. And upon going up to my dad, my dad realized that brothers eyes were red and his face was turning white. He thought my brother was dehydrated from playing all morning and not eating or drinking water once. So my dad was thinking water would suffice. My dad started to cut his hair until he fainted. Also, because my dad has never been in this kind of situation, well he started freaking out. He had called my other brother because he wasn’t expecting him to fall all of a sudden. I had then come out of my room with my cousin because of how worried my dad was and how worried I was too. Then luckily my brother had suddenly woken up. And then, when I looked at his face, his lips were white and I gave him an ice pack to cool him down, and then he started freaking out because my dad was freaking out. This being said, I tried to look for the ABC’s to make sure he had airway, that he had breathing, and that he had most importantly circulation flowing through his body. Yet all this wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t realized I wanted to be a nurse. And how I realized that I wanted to be a nurse with an interesting story as well. It was a hot and sunny October 28. I was going with my family to attend a wedding of a family relative. Upon being at the venue which ended up being my aunt‘s house. I talked to my aunt Leslie and asked her what she does as a profession. She began to tell me that her purpose in life is to become a mom so she decided to become a labor and delivery nurse. So given that I had always wanted to be a neurosurgeon, I began to realize that becoming a brain surgeon would require 15 to 17 years of my life. Which is technically 25% of my life. So I decided that I would become a nurse because they are the real doctors.

I have an uncle fro at a young age he was either experimenting with drugs or he had gotten into a fight that caused him to crack his head open. And from one of these incidents he got schizophrenia. When this incident happened my mother’s family was frantic and worried of how his life would turn out. In his early stages he would have episodes where he couldn’t control his anger and he would get so made that he would throw objects because he didn’t want to hurt anyone. And there were times when he would long for a girlfriend to have. This made a big impact not only on my family but on me as well. I always knew not to experiment with drugs or anything that would alter my state of being. And I knew that from example of my uncle who was beaten or had tried drugs, my life could possibly end up like that. So as guidance I would use that story to always be a reminder that sometimes mental illness comes naturally or you can induce it. My uncle is a loving one. He sleeps, smokes cigarettes, eats, and plays with cards. That is his life everyday. Although it isn’t the most healthy, the prescription medications that he is on makes him sleep all the time and not do much. I always hoped and wonder what life would be like if my uncle were to have a normal life, with kids and a wife. What life would’ve been like if he never experimented with drugs or if he hadn’t had his head cracked open a fight. I wonder if I would’ve had three or four cousins. I can’t focus to much on what w would have been. I instead of focus on what I have and how I can make it better. To keep my mind in a healthy state. I don’t want to get looped up on what would’ve been in always try to focus on what I have and be grateful for it. I have no regrets because it is lead me to the life that I have now which is full of a mixed emotions. Yeah I persevered to always believe in myself.

My uncle was either experimenting with drugs or he had gotten into a fight that caused him to crack his head open. Which had caused him to get schizophrenia. When this incident happened my mother’s family was frantic and worried of how his life would turn out. In his early stages he would have episodes where he couldn’t control his anger. And there were times when he would long for a girlfriend to have. This made a big impact not only on my family but on me as well. I always knew not to experiment with drugs or anything that would alter my state of being. And I knew that from example of my uncle who was beaten or had tried drugs, my life could possibly end up like that. So as guidance I would use that story to always be a reminder that sometimes mental illness comes naturally or you can induce it. Helping others even if it might be giving advice or helping someone feel better has always been my niche. I have many people in my family who struggle with illnesses, pursuing a healthcare degree could mean that I could help them even on a personal level. To be a nurse is to be a caregiver. Its someone who takes time from their day just to make sure that the patient feels better. And that is what I strive to be. My uncle is a loving one. He sleeps, smokes cigarettes, eats, and plays with cards. That is his life everyday. Although it isn’t the most healthy, the prescription medications that he is on makes him sleep all the time and not do much. I always hoped and wonder what life would be like if my uncle were to have a normal life, with kids and a wife. What life would’ve been like if he never experimented with drugs or if he hadn’t had his head cracked open a fight. I wonder if I would’ve had three or four cousins. I can’t focus to much on what w would have been. I instead of focus on what I have and how I can make it better. To keep my mind in a healthy state. I don’t want to get looped up on what would’ve been in always try to focus on what I have and be grateful for it. I have no regrets because it is lead me to the life that I have now which is full of a mixed emotions. Yeah I persevered to always believe in myself.

Am I too Mexican or am I too American? What if it doesn't work out? How can I help my family faster? What if its not meant for me? These are all questions I ask myself as a hormonal teenager trying to find out if dropshipping really works so I can help my family faster. But my solution to it all is school. Continuing school to become a Nurse and hope for the best. As a LatinX student I personally question if I am too Mexican for my professors, will they understand me or understand where I come from? Can they see my eye bags from staying up all night because my parents fight about how my dad can provide more money? Change signifies growth and is usually seen as a positive connotation. Change is what keeps us evolving as humans. Change is what made me who I am because when you travel, make new friends, or find new hobbies you understand who you are more. Yet I struggle with change. When I've switched schools, move to new places, and meet new people I begin to struggle with being happy because it's hard for me to adapt to change. I enjoy being in the comfort of what I think won't change. Then when there is instability financial and my parents are crying because they don't know where we will end up. I've come to understand that learning how to help my parents financially isn't my problem yet. I was a twelve year old girl looking for ways on youtube to make money even if it wasn't a lot it was something that could help my family. Aside from change, when I would go to Mexico to visit my grandma, she would question my mom 'why is she so American?' or 'why haven't you taught her Spanish yet?' and honestly I'm not sure why. When I had moved for a year to a middle school that was predominantly white, I would wonder if my clothes were to Mexican or if the way I talked was to Mexican. I felt shame for the first time in the way I looked and wanted blonde and blue eyes. As a girl so young having an identity crisis, it was hard when at that age I was having a hard time adapting to change. When I had came back to my home town and saw that girls my age that looked Mexican and embraced it. I felt like being without a home struggling was the change I needed within myself and for my family financially. Because there is love in the struggle and pain. Am I too Mexican or Am I too American? And if it doesn't work out or should I help my family financially at a young age? Is it meant for me? And the answer is I am the right amount or Mexican and American, it will work out, you will help your family eventually, and it is meant for you. From an older and wiser perspective it will be better.

It was the Fourth of July and it was hot, like the mid 90° weather. On this specific day we were planning to go to a family friend’s Fourth of July and celebrate our Independence Day with them. Yet in the morning before we attended the gathering it started like any other. My mom had left to go get groceries and my siblings and I were doing our own thing. Yet those past couple of days my brother had been playing video games excessively. To the point where his eyes turned red. I had brushed it off. Because I didn’t want to worry about him and I wanted to do my own thing. My dad had called him to stop playing video games. And upon going up to my dad, he realized his eyes were turning red and his face was turning white thinking water would suffice. My dad started to cut his hair until he fainted. Also, because my dad has never been in this kind of situation, well he started freaking out. He had called my other brother because he wasn’t expecting him to fall all of a sudden. I had then come out of my room because of how worried my dad was. Then luckily my brother had suddenly woken up. And then, when I looked at his face, his lips were white and I gave him an ice pack to cool him down, and then he started freaking out because my dad was freaking out. This being said, I tried to look for the ABC’s to make sure he had airway, that he had breathing, and that he had most importantly circulation flowing through his body. Yet all this wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t realized I wanted to be a nurse. And how I realized that I wanted to be a nurse with an interesting story as well. It was a hot and sunny October 28. I was going with my family to attend a wedding of a family relative. Upon being at the venue which ended up being my aunt‘s house. I talked to my aunt Leslie and asked her what she does as a profession. She began to tell me that her purpose in life is to become a mom so she decided to become a labor and delivery nurse. So given that I had always wanted to be a neurosurgeon, I began to realize that becoming a brain surgeon would require 15 to 17 years of my life. Which is technically 25% of my life. So I decided that I would become a nurse because they are the real doctors.

My uncle was either experimenting with drugs or he had gotten into a fight that caused him to crack his head open. Which had caused him to get schizophrenia. When this incident happened my mother’s family was frantic and worried of how his life would turn out. In his early stages he would have episodes where he couldn’t control his anger. And there were times when he would long for a girlfriend to have. This made a big impact not only on my family but on me as well. I always knew not to experiment with drugs or anything that would alter my state of being. And I knew that from example of my uncle who was beaten or had tried drugs, my life could possibly end up like that. So as guidance I would use that story to always be a reminder that sometimes mental illness comes naturally or you can induce it. I knew that if I could obtain natural highs and keep myself among the right crowd I could like a healthy life. So from a young age I was interested in gymnastics. I would try and do the splits, doing round offs, and even a full. Keeping my body active and finding a way to let out all my energy was put into gymnastics. My parents had always encouraged me which kept me in a healthy mindset. And even if I couldn’t do something my parents would lie and say that I could, to make me believe in myself. My uncle is a loving one. He sleeps, smokes cigarettes, eats, and plays with cards. That is his life everyday. Although it isn’t the most healthy, the prescription medications that he is on makes him sleep all the time and not do much. I always hoped and wonder what life would be like if my uncle were to have a normal life, with kids and a wife. What life would’ve been like if he never experimented with drugs or if he hadn’t had his head cracked open a fight. I wonder if I would’ve had three or four cousins. I can’t focus to much on what w would have been. I instead of focus on what I have and how I can make it better. To keep my mind in a healthy state. I don’t want to get looped up on what would’ve been in always try to focus on what I have and be grateful for it. I have no regrets because it is lead me to the life that I have now which is full of a mixed emotions. Yeah I persevered to always believe in myself.

To start off, it was the Fourth of July and it was the mid 90° weather. On this specific day we were planning to go to a family friend’s Fourth of July and celebrate our Independence Day with them. Yet in the morning before we attended the gathering it started like any other. My mom had left to go get groceries and my siblings and I were doing our own thing. Yet those past couple of days my brother had been playing video games excessively. To the point where his eyes turned red. I had brushed it off. Because I didn’t want to worry about him and I wanted to do my own thing. My dad had called him to stop playing video games. And upon going up to my dad, he realize his eyes were turning red and his face was turning white thinking water would suffice. My dad started to cut his hair that was until he fainted. Then because my dad has never been in this kind of situation, well he started freaking out. He had called my other brother because he wasn’t expecting him to fall all of a sudden. I had then come out of my room because of how worried my dad was. Then luckily my brother had suddenly woken up. And then, when I looked at his face, his lips were white and I gave him water, and then he started freaking out because my dad was freaking out. This being said, I tried to look for the ABC’s to make sure he had airway, that he had no blockage, and that he had circulation. Yet all this wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t realized I wanted to be a nurse. And how I realized that I wanted to be a nurse with an interesting story as well. It was a warm and sunny October 28. I was going with my family to attend a wedding of a family relative. Upon being at the venue which ended up being my aunt‘s house. I talked to my aunt Leslie and asked her what she does as a profession. She began to tell me that her purpose in life is to become a mom so she decided to become a labor and delivery nurse. So given that I had always wanted to be a neurosurgeon, I began to realize that becoming that specific kind of surgeon would require 17 years of my life. So I decided that I would become a nurse because they are the real doctors. Although doctors prescribe drugs, nurses are the ones that start an IV and push the drug safely.

It was the Fourth of July and it was 91°. That day we were planning to go to a family friend’s Fourth of July gathering and celebrate our Independence Day with them. Yet in the morning before we attended the gathering it started like any other. My mom had left to go get groceries and my siblings and I were doing our own thing. Yet those past couple of days my brother had been playing video games excessively. To the point where his eyes turned red. I had brushed it off. Because I didn’t want to worry about him and I wanted to do my own thing. My dad had called him to stop playing video games. And upon going up to my dad, he realize his eyes were turning red and his face was turning white thinking water would suffice. My dad started to cut his hair that was until he fainted. In urgency and fright he had called my other brother because he wasn’t expecting him to fall all of a sudden. I had then come out of my room because of how worried my dad was. My brother had suddenly woke up. And then, when I looked at his face, his lips were white and I gave him water, and then he started freaking out because my dad was freaking out. This being said, I tried to look for the ABC’s to make sure he had airway, that he had no blockage, and that he had circulation. Yet all this wouldn’t have had happened if I hadn’t realized I wanted to be a nurse. And how I realized that I wanted to be a nurse with an interesting story as well. It was October 28. I was going to attend a wedding from a family relative. Upon being at the venue which ended up being my aunt‘s house. I talked to my aunt Leslie and asked her what she does as a profession. She began to tell me that her purpose in life is to become a mom so she decided to become a labor and delivery nurse. Given that I had always wanted to be a neurosurgeon, I began to realize that becoming that specific kind of surgeon would require 17 years of my life. So I decided that I would become a nurse because they are the real doctors. Although doctors prescribe drugs, nurses are the ones that start an IV and push the drug safely.

My family and I went to a wedding. We went to a wedding of one of the first grandchildren to be married. It felt odd to say it that day because the groom was my cousin and although I am years younger than he is. It is a full circle moment to see that his life is happening in a different way than mine. So, when he decided to get married, it was quick and we asked why he wanted to get married so fast. What was the rush? And he said that it was just time for the beginning of his life to start with his bride. He took the initiative to become the man of their future home together. I turn 19 in three months, I live at home, and I have taken leadership in my life by finally knowing my purpose. It isn’t to become married or to become a mother… yet. During the reception of the wedding that was hosted at my aunt’s home, I felt the urge to dance with her. Whilst dancing with her I asked what she did as a career and her response was nursing. In that exact moment, that is where I fell in love with nursing. She gave me 2 books and a promised future nursing mission trip to South America once I get my passport. It was all because of a wedding that I found my future and have a better connection with my aunt. I was always that 11 year old girl at a party caring for the kids and making sure that they aren’t hurt. I am always the girl that makes connections with random elderly women. Now I hope to say in 3 years that I will forever be the girl that heals the hurt and connects with the patients. It’s like what they say, weddings bring families together and bring the future. Take initiative of the moment. If I didn't dance with my aunt, I would have still been confused with what I wanted to do with my life. If it feels like serendipity or like it will get you one step to your goal. It might be the direction of leadership you need to be going in and it will not be easy but it will be worth it in the end. Leadership within ourselves is what brings the answers to the unanswered questions.

Am I too Mexican or am I too American? What if it doesn't work out? How can I help my family faster? What if its not meant for me? These are all questions I ask myself as a hormonal teenager trying to find out if dropshipping really works so I can help my family faster. But my solution to it all is school. Continuing school to become a Nurse and hope for the best. As a LatinX student I personally question if I am too Mexican for my professors, will they understand me or understand where I come from? Can they see my eye bags from staying up all night because my parents fight about how my dad can provide more money? Change signifies growth and is usually seen as a positive connotation. Change is what keeps us evolving as humans. Change is what made me who I am because when you travel, make new friends, or find new hobbies you understand who you are more. Yet I struggle with change. When I've switched schools, move to new places, and meet new people I begin to struggle with being happy because it's hard for me to adapt to change. I enjoy being in the comfort of what I think won't change. Then when there is instability financial and my parents are crying because they don't know where we will end up. I've come to understand that learning how to help my parents financially isn't my problem yet. I was a twelve year old girl looking for ways on youtube to make money even if it wasn't a lot it was something that could help my family. Aside from change, when I would go to Mexico to visit my grandma, she would question my mom 'why is she so American?' or 'why haven't you taught her Spanish yet?' and honestly I'm not sure why. When I had moved for a year to a middle school that was predominantly white, I would wonder if my clothes were to Mexican or if the way I talked was to Mexican. I felt shame for the first time in the way I looked and wanted blonde and blue eyes. As a girl so young having an identity crisis, it was hard when at that age I was having a hard time adapting to change. When I had came back to my home town and saw that girls my age that looked Mexican and embraced it. I felt like being without a home struggling was the change I needed within myself and for my family financially. Because there is love in the struggle and pain. Am I too Mexican or Am I too American? And if it doesn't work out or should I help my family financially at a young age? Is it meant for me? And the answer is I am the right amount or Mexican and American, it will work out, you will help your family eventually, and it is meant for you. From an older and wiser perspective it will be better.