There are scents that carry memory, faint traces that open a doorway back in time. For me, that scent is lavender. Its soft, calming fragrance will forever remind me of my grandmother, Jane Yancey, of her gentle smile, her grace through adversity, and the quiet strength she carried even as her memory began to fade.
In 2012, my grandmother passed away at home after a long battle with both Alzheimer’s and cancer. My mother was her caregiver, balancing night shifts as a nurse with the endless and tender work of caring for her own mother. I was still young then, but I remember how our home shifted, how the rhythm of our days began to circle around my grandmother’s needs. Alzheimer’s does not just take memories; it slowly rearranges the roles within a family. My mom became both daughter and nurse, caregiver and witness to loss, tending to her while watching pieces of her drift away.
There is one day I will never forget. We were at the hospital with my grandfather, Charlie, my grandmother’s husband. The air was heavy with that mix of sadness and sterile light. Grandpa was sitting beside her, holding her hand, trying to reach her through the fog of memory. He started talking softly about their wedding day, how they met, how he first saw her walking down a country road with a fishing pole in her hand, a farmer’s daughter, barefoot in the grass. He had been driving with a buddy on his way to pick up another girl for a dance, but when he saw my grandma, he knew she would be the catch of his life.
As he spoke, my mom played their wedding song, Elvis Presley’s “Can’t Help Falling in Love.” And it was as if the music opened a door inside her mind. For a few shining moments, she came back to us. She smiled, her eyes lit up, and she started to tell us stories, how they danced that night, how nervous he was, the small details of their early love that Alzheimer’s had long since buried. It felt like watching light pour into a room that had been dark for years. That moment changed me. It showed me that even when memory falters, love remembers. It showed me that music and emotion live in parts of the brain untouched by time.
After she passed, my sister and I got lavender tattoos together, a symbol of healing, memory, and connection. It still makes me smile to think how my grandmother would have been appalled that we tattooed our skin, though I am sure she has forgiven us by now. For us, it was not only about remembering her; it was about honoring what she represented, unconditional love and the quiet miracles of healing. Lavender is not only symbolic. Research has shown that it can calm the nervous system, improve sleep, and may even help prevent cognitive decline. That intersection, where nature, science, and compassion meet, is where I want to build my life’s work.
Watching my mom care for her mother fundamentally changed how I see the world. It showed me what real strength looks like, quiet, steady, and selfless. It also revealed how much we still do not know about the brain, how many families are left to navigate this illness without answers. The slow unraveling of memory felt like watching a library burn down one page at a time. And yet in that loss, I found my purpose: to help rebuild what can be saved and to understand what cannot yet be explained.
When my father later passed away, grief revisited our family in a new form, one marked by mental illness, trauma, and heartbreak. But this time, I had context. I had already seen how diseases of the mind and brain ripple through generations. I had already seen what unhealed pain can do. Those experiences, painful as they were, became the soil from which my purpose grew.
Since then, I have dedicated myself to understanding the mind, reading the works of Gabor Maté, Esther Perel, and Dr. Daniel Amen. I have learned how trauma and stress can reshape the brain, how early interventions and compassionate care can change the entire trajectory of a life. My fascination with neuroscience is not abstract; it is deeply personal. I have lived its consequences. I have seen what happens when we overlook it, and I have seen the small miracles that happen when we pay attention.
That is why I am returning to school in Spring 2026 to pursue a degree focused on brain health, psychology, and medical research. I want to study the neurological mechanisms behind memory, emotion, and trauma, and how those pathways can be healed. I am especially drawn to research in neuroplasticity and dementia prevention, areas where science is beginning to illuminate possibilities that once felt out of reach.
I believe that healing, like memory, is multidimensional. It is biological, psychological, and spiritual all at once. My vision is to one day help expand access to brain imaging and early intervention programs, to bring what is often hidden in research into the light of public awareness. I want to help design systems that identify warning signs before they turn into crises and to contribute to the growing field of trauma-informed care that connects mental health, family history, and physical well-being.
But beneath all the scientific ambition, my motivation is profoundly human. It is the image of my mother, exhausted but unwavering, helping my grandmother brush her hair even when she could no longer speak. It is the memory of my grandfather singing along to Elvis in that hospital room, calling her “my girl,” and watching her remember, even if only for a moment. It is the scent of lavender drifting through a home filled with both loss and love.
Alzheimer’s taught me that memory is more than recall; it is relationship. It taught me that science and compassion are not opposites, but allies. And it gave me a direction: to dedicate my education and career to studying the brain, not only to understand how we lose memories but how we can preserve them, how we can protect the essence of who we are.
Every time I see lavender, I am reminded of both fragility and resilience. It is delicate, yet it endures. That is what I carry forward from my grandmother’s life, from my mother’s caregiving, and from my own journey, the belief that even in the face of forgetting, love remembers.
And that is what I want to build my future around: remembering what matters and finding ways to help others hold on.