Throughout my elementary, middle school, and even high school career, my mental health affected me deeply. My parents decided to divorce when I was only ten years old. While many kids get a choice between their mother and their father, I wasn't given a choice, and that is what caused my mental health to decline for so many years.
At the age of eleven, my relationship with my father began its downfall. My father was absent during my childhood, and even more so when he was a single parent half of the time. As a maturing young lady, I began to understand that my dad would never be there as my dad, so I decided to write him a letter in January of 2018. This letter resulted in our relationship (seemingly) getting better, but only for a month or two. He didn't respect me as a person and still saw my brother and I as five and three year old's. All I wanted back then was for him to see that I could make my own decisions. When these events occurred with my father, I found the relationships around me faltered. I struggled keeping friends, and maintaining grades in school. I had no motivation anymore.
As the years went by, my relationship with my father got worse. Fights were more frequent, voices were louder, and nights were lonelier. Most nights, instead of reading or doing homework, I was overcome with sadness and would often listen to music and weep. This stopped, of course, when I made the decision to grow up and make the best out of life. My grades were better, my mood was better, and I started prioritizing my time with my mother and my new stepfather.
Beginning of my freshman year in high school, I was at my worst mental state ever. I had one singular friend, and I even lost him as a friend too. I had no one to talk to, hang out with, or seek help from. It was then I decided to transfer to Enid High School for my sophomore year.
Immediately after starting at Enid High I made so many friends, found my people. I excelled in class, earning a 4.0 for six semesters. Joined AP and honors classes and finally found happiness. It was there I met my boyfriend, Lucas. He helped me the most. He brought back my mental health and made me the best version of myself, the one my mom knew when I was a little girl. This is when I really thrived. However, Lucas was moved without warning to Tulsa and I was devastated. I was back to square one with my mental health. In this time, I turned to my faith and sought refuge in God. This was the true time in my high school career that I had to push through. My grades could have drastically decreased, but they didn't. When my boyfriend moved, I decided to confide in my math teacher, Mr. Rowe. He had known a thing or two about life and gave me the best advice I've ever received: "I know it's hard right now, but just keep working."