Hi, My name is Ava Harding and I'm a high school senior from Castle Rock, Colorado. This past August, the weekend before our first week of school, my best friend Audrey was killed in a car accident. This is the most devastating thing that has ever happened to me and I have struggled to figure out how to go on and enjoy all the special moments of being a senior when she isn’t here to experience them with me.
Friday, August 5th, 2022 we attended a back-to-school party that we had gone to the year before. We celebrated the last weekend before starting senior year! The best year of our lives, or so we thought. My original plan was to ride with Audrey and a couple of friends there and back, my mom was pretty insistent I didn’t drive alone. I called Audrey before we left and she told me their curfew was later than mine, so I decided to ride by myself so I was home in time. That conversation saved my life. 11:45 rolled around and it was time for me to leave, I said my goodbyes and left. Audrey realized they should leave too to get the other people in the car home in time and walked out right behind me. I got home fine and went right to bed. What I didn’t know was their car was struck by a drunk driver and Audrey and my friend Colton had died. My other two friends were badly injured. I got up the next morning early, around 5:45 am to go to work a shift at my lifeguarding job. Around 7, I see my mom’s car pull up to the front gate and her pulling open the gate frantically in tears. Somehow I just knew. She didn’t even have to say it, I just knew.
Four days later we started school. I truly don't remember much from the first weeks. I missed the first Friday of school because I was speaking at her funeral. My last concern was meeting my new teachers and getting my homework. I knew eventually I would have to go to school but everything there just reminded me of her. I would walk down the hallways and people stared at me, whispered about me, but no one knew what to say to me. I felt very alone. The whole experience was surreal. I was just going through the motions and before I knew it, the first term was over.
I know the grief and sadness will never feel better. I know it may never get easier. Every holiday and big event resets my feelings because it's the first without them. What I can control is living in the moment. In the last 12 weeks of my senior year, I try to take it all in and realize what a good time in my life this is. Yes, my best friend isn’t here to experience this but I am. I can not give up, that would be selfish of me. I remind myself often to live for her, and her parents too. They are living through us and our experiences. If anything, I want to be strong for them. So that's what I am fighting for. To be strong in the face of adversity. To let myself have my bad days but not let every day be a bad day. I have too much life left to live and too many experiences Audrey would be so sad if I missed. College is quickly approaching and I fear by starting a new chapter in our lives we are leaving them behind. But I know in my heart, she will never leave and I will never forget her. She will be right by my side, just like she would if she was here, as I take on this journey.
We have a saying, love like Audrey and live like Colton. That is what I'm striving for and what I'm determined to achieve. No one will ever replace Audrey and I don’t think the hole in my life will ever be filled but I am going to live anyways. That is what I would want her to do if the roles were reversed. At 17, I have had to grow up quicker than most but I think now I am a different person. I value life, experiences, and friendships more. I am going to fight to live and not let the person who killed them take my life too. It is hard to summarize my feelings for Audrey and this experience in only 800 words but I hope her life and this story inspire you, thank you for your time, consideration, and this opportunity!