My story with mental illness starts with my dad. Most of my memories with my dad are clouded with his alcohol abuse and addiction. As I have grown older, I have learned more about his struggle with addiction, and his own father's struggle as well. My dad was drunk on the day he decided to leave us at a local BMX track and take his own life. Although it did not make sense to me how my dad could decide to take himself away from me then, I now understand that along with being an alcoholic, he was depressed and believed to be bipolar. My mom explained to me that she tried to get him help in therapy, but it never went anywhere and just got worse. He had a disease and it killed him just like any cancer or other medical condition would to somebody else. My next experience with mental illness was with my sister. My sister started to struggle with her mental health in high school without us knowing. She asked for help from my mom, but it took her telling my mom that she wanted to take her own life before she got on the medication she needed and therapy. Now she continues to be on anti-depressants and goes to therapy regularly to manage her depression and anxiety. I could never express enough how thankful I am to still have my sister and would not have been able to handle losing her like I lost my dad. My own struggle with mental health started in middle school. I was insecure, grieving my dad again after learning so much new information, dealing with the cancer diagnosis for my oldest sister, and felt like I had no place in this world. I asked to go to therapy many times but was given empty promises until high school. My sister lost her battle to cancer, I was more depressed than ever, constantly anxious, having panic attacks at work, and honestly, I didn't want to live anymore. I was forced to tell my mom I had been self-harming to get into therapy. Now I work with my therapist once a week to manage depression and anxiety and every day is a challenge. I have overcome so much and I have seen how difficult life can be. I want to go into the nursing field for many reasoning but mostly so I can help people. I want to be the person any patient feels safe with and give light into some people's darkness. There is so much darkness in this world these days and a nurse is one of the ways I want to be able to bring some hope back into it. Because there is hope, and no matter how much darkness comes into my life, I know there is light at the end of the tunnel.

When I was in sixth grade my oldest sister was diagnosed with stage four ovarian cancer. I was terrified of losing her and had to see her go through so much change physically and mentally as she went through treatment. She lost her hair, she lost weight, she felt sick constantly, but she never lost her spirit. Even in the hospital her spirits remained high, and she never gave up or lost hope. She built relationships with the doctors and nurses that took care of her, and I knew I wanted to give back to the people that helped my sister so much. Not only did they give her the treatment to help her live, but they were kind and supported her through all the most difficult treatments. When I decided to start volunteering, I reached out to my brother-in-law to ask him if they ever had any experiences with volunteers while in the hospital. He told me that volunteers would come in and talk to them, keep them entertained, even paint my sister's nails. I loved the idea of being able to brighten someone's day, so I started volunteering at the cancer center. After over 100 hours logged I can definitely say that I want to continue my education to become a nurse. I have meant some of the most kind and genuine people at the hospital I volunteer at and am confident this is what I want to do. I have enjoyed seeing people come in for work every day excited to be there and excited to help anyone they can. Reading Cindy's story further showed me the kind of people that go into nursing. The dedication and work she put into nursing has set a great example for me and all future nurses of how to be. Nursing plays such an important role in hospitals, and they can make such a huge difference in people's lives. Being able to understand and empathize what some of them are going through is a large part in being able to care for them. My goal in life is to make a difference in anyone's life, no matter how small or insignificant that difference may be. I want to make a positive impact on the world that helped and guided my family through the hardest time of our lives. Although my sister is no longer with us today, I know I will make her proud in my journey and I will continue to work every day in her honor.