Breathe. Name 5 things you can see. Breathe. Name 4 things you can feel. Breathe. Name 3 things you can hear. Breathe. Name 2 things you can smell. Breathe. Name one thing you can taste. For as long as I can remember, my life has been a cycle of breathing and naming, of anxiety. What’s worse-every person I knew struggled, so I began to feel as if these feelings were normal and simply a part of life. Every single one of my friends became stressed to the point of panic attacks. It was normal, and we went back to class as soon as we could.
High school panic attacks soon turned to Freshman-year-of-college depression. Before long, I wasn’t eating or leaving my room, and aside from schoolwork, I slept the day away. This heavily impacted on my relationships, as I was self-isolating nearly all the time. The people that understood what was happening didn’t know how to help, and the ones that didn’t understand decided I was just annoying and reclusive.
Mental health is a lifelong journey of peaks and valleys. The key is learning to use the peaks to make it through the valleys and learning how to coexist with the valleys. After my experience with depression at the end of my first semester of college, I recognized that I needed to act; that my mental struggles wouldn’t just dissolve. I confided in my closest friends about my recent struggles, and they had given me advice related to their own experiences. Prior to this, my only anxious ticks had been terribly destructive; habits like ripping out my hair and chewing on my lip. Using devices like fidget rings and toys now helps to channel my anxious energy into something less damaging. Meditation also does wonders for centering and quieting my mind, and I plan on attending therapy sessions soon to prevent any repeats of my first semester of college.
As challenging as mental illness can be, it has shaped the way I perceive the world as well as those around me more than I could ever describe. Empathy and understanding come easier to me, and I tend to be less judgmental than other people. Due to my own struggles with metal health, I can recognize similar struggles in others. This makes me less likely to attribute people's flaws to their character, and more likely to consider the circumstances of certain situations. Messiness and laziness are typically regarded as negative traits related to a person's character. However, the state of one's mental health can predispose them to these tendencies, so I tend to consider those possibilities prior to passing judgement.
My personal journey with mental health has drastically changed the way I view and manage my relationships. On the one hand, relationships can be considerably more difficult, as other thinking and anxiety can lead to several miscommunications and misunderstandings. It can also be more challenging to engage with friends in certain social situations, due to social anxiety and a shorter social battery. In addition, I tend to need more time to be by myself after social events than other people, to “recharge.” On the other hand, my experience with mental health has also pushed me to better communicate my needs and advocate for myself within my relationships. Boundaries are important for any healthy relationship, a sentiment I would’ve learned later had I not experienced anxiety, depression, and other situations that require boundaries.
Since my eighth grade English teacher, one of my role models growing up, first mentioned law to me, I have always been interested in the career. Despite the anxiety and stress that can come with the career, the urge to help people through concrete means, such as the law, has always been an aspiration of mine. One branch of law I have recently been looking into is environmental law. In my experience with mental health, to say that solely internal factors affect mental health is irresponsible. The state of our world can greatly affect each individual citizen's mental health. Climate change and global warming are extreme issues that are not taken nearly as seriously as they should be, and this plays a role in the mental health of the people of this planet. Taking this notion into consideration, I can lessen the load of external factors on the mental health of the general population. After a life of naming and breathing in patterns, I simply want to ensure that people can breathe, without naming.