Last year, I found myself struggling under the mental and emotional stressors of school, which was worsened with the weight of the COVID-19 pandemic. During that time, I was especially unsure of myself. However, if there is one thing that I do know, it is that during that time, art allowed me the space I needed to sort out the stressful things in my life. I might not have found all the answers to my dilemmas, but I was able to express what I was feeling through drawing and painting. Through this process of creating art, I also learned more about my personal strengths, like my passion for storytelling through visual art and my knack for creativity. Nonetheless, I came to understand my main weakness as well, such as in how easily I adopted a defeatist attitude when I hit creative roadblocks. As a result, I believe being an artist means finding the courage to tell one's stories and expressing oneself, despite internal fears of failure or any outside judgment. In order to do so, I've eventually learned more about the technical aspects of art, and how artists must interpret, stylize, and at times, disfigure, reality in a way that portrays their subject matter the most effectively. Through these discoveries, I now understand that artists must constantly keep learning--both about the technical and conceptual aspects of art--in order to improve. This drives me to be more curious about the world, more than anything else. I know that the more I learn, the more likely it is that I can express larger, more nuanced ideas in my art, and thus reach more people with it. By widening my horizons, I really hope to improve in ways I've never thought possible before. Even so, it also drives me to better my own mindset when it comes to creating, as I know now that I cannot get results if I do not try at all. In that same vein, Rumi, a 13th-century Persian poet, once said, "Today, like every other day, we wake up empty and frightened. Don't open the door to the study and begin reading. Take down a musical instrument. Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground," which highlights the necessity of chasing what one wants to do, regardless of their fears. I resonate a lot with Rumi, as even though art drives me to improve myself, it also draws up the fear of expressing myself and being vulnerable enough to share my thoughts and feelings. However, it's something I've learned to push through. Over the years, I've seen how much art can resonate with people, and I know that I want to leave my mark on the world in that way too. Thus, I want to use my art to show that it is alright to be vulnerable and open up, especially in the case of subjects that are difficult to talk about. Though it's not much, I've started this endeavor by making illustrations for the Truth Comes Out Project, a student-led project which seeks to raise awareness around sexual violence. Yet, I still have a long way to go, and in the future, I want to do more of this sort of work to keep spreading awareness on important issues. Still, outside of those projects, I've channeled my own feelings into my personal art many times, and I want future generations to also know how freeing it can be to do the same by sharing their own stories, no matter which medium they do it through.

I still remember the awkward day when my second-grade teacher greeted my class with a stereotypical career talk, ending with the awkward question: "Now, what do you want to be?" That day, and for years afterward, I had drawn a blank to that question. When asked, I always half-heartedly responded, "I want to be an artist," simply because I was good at it. Still, I had doubts that it would be the right career choice for me. It was only recently that I discovered the field I truly wanted to pursue: anesthesiology. One of my biggest goals in life is to enter a profession that'll enable me to help my community the best I can, and I know now that the medical field is the best way for me to do that, which requires me to pursue higher education. However, outside of my studies, I still find time to participate in extracurriculars such as in my school's Animation Club, National Honor Society, and Academic Mentor Program. Very early in my sophomore year, I still wasn't sure what profession I wanted to pursue, and joined the Animation Club, which focused on learning the basics of Animation and the animation industry. Even though I don't wish to pursue that career path now, I don't regret joining. This club has taught me a lot about the importance of working in a team, particularly in the end-of-semester project, where the whole club came together to make a short animation. At the same time, as a certified member of the National Honor Society, I volunteered for a student-led group called Stand Up San Fernando, using my experience in the arts to create informational graphics on issues such as the school-to-prison pipeline and Black Lives Matter, as well as helping to organize a fair where students could learn more about activism. It was a humbling experience, one which made me realize not only the importance of making a change in one's community, but the difficulty in doing so and the uncertainty of if a change was even being made. However, I knew I still wanted to do more to help in any way I could, so I turned towards my school community and became an Academic Mentor for English. I spoke with underclassmen about their writing assignments and essays, while also offering editing feedback through the Writing Center's Online Writing Lab. Even though I (hopefully) taught them more about essays, language use, and evidenced thinking, I also felt that I learned a lot from them, especially in how to better communicate with peers--a skill I was lacking in before. From these experiences, I've realized my passion for serving my community. And in order to accomplish that, I want to pursue higher education, so that I can do as much good as I can as an effective medical practitioner. In Michelle Obama's last speech at the White House, she stated: "Empower yourselves with a good education, then get out there and use that education to build a country worthy of your boundless promise. Lead by example with hope, never fear." Particularly this year, I've realized that before I can help anyone else, I need to help myself. I need to educate myself and most importantly, better understand the world around me. Medical school will be beyond challenging for me, and I would be lying if I said I wasn't intimidated. Even so, only through those challenges can I grow into the person I want to be and better the world around me in the best way I know how.

I'm still extremely new to music-making and don't have a background in music, but I've recently come to realize truly how amazing it is in how it allows people to express emotions and tell stories. I was mostly inspired to write this piece when I was playing Minecraft a while ago. I feel that when you enter a cave deep underground by yourself, the mood definitely becomes a bit creepy and eerie, especially with the mob sound effects and general ambiance. I realized that it would be fun to arrange something that reflected how I felt in that moment--something that was more personalized to my experience that I could also share with others.

When quarantine began, it was almost like a mini-miracle to my friends and me. We were beyond elated about having an early Winter Break, and lamented about the fact that it would only be two weeks long. However, the feeling didn't last. As quarantine dragged on, I felt almost as if I was deflating. With the weight of the pandemic's increasing severity hanging over everyone's shoulders, it seemed as if all my classmates had felt the same, (though I'd never know for sure through the lifeless profile icons on my screen). The end of my freshman year passed like a homogeneous blur. The days dragged on and on without reprieve. Time was moving forward, but I was stuck in the same place--not growing or changing. But as summer break began, I realized that I couldn't keep doing that. Especially through the pandemic's reminder that life could so easily be taken away, I felt that I needed to start making the most of the time I had. I couldn't keep letting opportunities pass me by. Eventually, this line of thinking sparked the main revelation I had during 2020: the importance of internal motivation. Though motivation was never something I'd lacked in the past, it had always been from an external source. Due to the distanced nature of the quarantine, a sense of urgency and drive to do anything had faded. I've always been super passionate about art. In middle school, I drew whenever I had a free moment. Unfortunately, when high school came and the pandemic started, I had ignored that passion. That summer of the pandemic, I knew I wanted to pick it up again. That was one of the times I really understood the importance of internal motivation. I remember how much I wanted to do it, but was hesitant, for some odd reason or another. I knew that in order to get the courage to start again, even if I was bad, I needed to find motivation from inside myself. I ended up calling my friend, who I knew was also passionate about art, and we scheduled times to do art studies. I still remember the awkwardness of our first study (a structural breakdown of the human torso and legs) and not knowing exactly what to do. All the same, I also remember the fun we had, and all the jokes we shared during it. Even though we fumbled around, we learned a lot, and I don't think those experiences are ones I'll ever forget. Nonetheless, there was still one more thing that I realized during 2020's pandemic, at least pertaining to my future. Before the pandemic, I was sure about what occupation I wanted to go into (or at least, much more sure than I am now). But due to how much time I had to reflect on myself that year, I began to see that I didn't really know why I wanted to go into that profession, other than the salary. I was never really invested in the subject, nor what they actually did. Now, I've opened my mind to other possible career paths. While I still don't know which profession I want to go into, I'm going to start to take initiative and explore the options available to me. Funnily enough, I suppose these quarantine revelations and choice experiences with friends are one of the few good things to come out of the pandemic, at least for me. I'm glad that I was able to make something of last year. Thank you for the opportunity to apply to this scholarship.

A young girl with a red umbrella stands in the warm summer rain, carrying her younger sister on her back, who had passed out from exhaustion. Fat drops of water fall from the night sky and seep into the soil, gathering in murky puddles whilst reflecting the dark forest around them. There's silence as the two wait for their father at the bus stop--a place marked by only a single blue sign. Suddenly, peeking from under the umbrella, the older girl sees the clawed foot of a furry monster. Bewildered and curious, she lifts up the umbrella to reveal the rest of the monster: a creature her sister had dubbed, Totoro. This is an iconic scene from my all-time favorite film, My Neighbor Totoro, which still sticks with me to this day. It was one of the first Studio Ghibli movies I'd ever seen, and I've rewatched it with my sister many times. Compared to other children's media that my sister and I consumed, this movie felt a bit different, and we loved it. The childish wonder of the two main leads--Satsuki and Mei--and the mundane, yet magical atmosphere drew me into the movie as a kid, and keeps me enthralled as a teenager. Similarly, I feel that it was a movie special to my childhood. The movie's promise of the possibility of adventure around every corner made me excited to explore my own world. Though I knew that I wouldn't find anything magical, it still encouraged my curiosity about the things around me, which is a trait that I treasure even now. Due to this, I can say that My Neighbor Totoro is absolutely my favorite film.

As the school year of 2020 drew to a close, I felt almost as if I was deflating. With the weight of quarantine hanging over everyone's shoulders, it seemed as if all my classmates had felt the same, though I'd never know for sure through the lifeless profile icons on my screen. Eventually summer break, and then the beginning of my sophomore year, came and trotted all over me. Then, they both left the way they came: quickly, unceremoniously, and leaving me somewhat lost. Those months had passed like a strong, unpleasant wind. One that I was just content simply riding without thought or pause. However, by the time October stumbled into my path, I knew that I needed to break the cycle and do something. Something that would make a difference. Even though I had become a student mentor at the Writing Center, I still felt as if I wasn't fully extending myself. I attended all the meetings (unfortunately, not many students came) and gave my all in giving feedback to the essays submitted through the Online Writing Lab. I can only hope that what I wrote helped them. At the time, I didn't know if I was doing enough. Thus, I joined Stand Up San Fernando and reached out to an upperclassman to help with a community service project. As for Stand Up San Fernando, it is a student-led soon-to-be organization, dedicated to speaking about various social issues. It took a few weeks to learn the ins and outs of how the group went about achieving their goals, such as spreading awareness of local and global issues and promoting activism, but I was happy to join. I found a role within their Graphic Design Team, and tried my best to help out on their current big project: The San Fernando Valley Activism Fair. I formatted an Instagram post here and there, and attended meetings. And despite my unfortunate struggles with Canva (the website Stand Up San Fernando insisted we use to do Graphic Design work), I think that I was able to help. I did my best, and even though my contributions aren't widescale or incredibly grand, I'm happy to be apart of this. I still do work for the group now, and hope to continue to promote change with them in the future. As for the upperclassman I reached out to, she introduced me to her project, dubbed "The Truth Comes Out." It's dedicated to spreading awareness towards sexual assault and sexual harassment. My role was to create visuals to go along with the information that would be presented. These usually took the form of shaky gifs. When I heard what I was to do, I was glad that I could finally use my skills for a cause. (I've been drawing for years now, so I like to think that I'm a decent artist.) At first, I was incredibly nervous, as I had to be able to animate to create these gifs, which I had never done before. Luckily, I picked up the skill on the way, determined by the fact that this was the project in which I could actually make the most of my full abilities. As the school year progresses, I hope to create even better work for this project, so we can continue to spread awareness to a wider audience. Now, I'd be lying if I said the meaninglessness and drudgery of daily life were completely gone once I started these activities. Nonetheless, I'm thankful it exists, as it implored me to make a change in my life and start giving back to my community and school, where I previously had not. I'll admit that don't know what the future holds, but I hope that I can keep doing work for Stand Up San Fernando, The Truth Comes Out, and The Writing Center at my school. More importantly, I hope that I can continue to foster change and progress in my community with the ever-evolving skillset I have at my disposal.

My grandmother, who earned her degree in pharmacy during a time in which women didn't often pursue higher education, who immigrated to America to find financial success, and who eventually achieved that success, greatly inspires me. My grandmother was one of seven siblings: two brothers and five sisters, including her. Just like my grandfather, she was born in South Korea and lived through the Korean War, which occurred when she was around seven years old. Once finished with high school, my grandmother went to college to study pharmacy. While one of her other sisters also went to college, it simply wasn't as common back then for women to pursue higher education. Still, she plowed through the prejudice and completed school. After getting her degree, my grandmother married my grandfather (who she had met in high school), and she opened her own pharmacy, which did well. Because of my grandmother, my grandparents were in a financially stable place, and were able to create a good life for themselves. However, they eventually moved to America in search of an even better life. Eight years prior to the move, the couple had had my father and uncle, which had probably made the transition more difficult. But the struggle didn't stop there, as no one in the family knew how to speak English. My dad and uncle had to jump into school without knowing the language, and my grandmother had to spend a year studying pharmacy again. Even so, they pushed through it. My grandmother had to retake tests many times, but in the end, she succeeded. From then to now, she's been able to rebuild her career to even greater heights. Whenever I'm told this story, I always feel kind of in awe. Making the choices my grandmother did must have taken a lot of courage and self-confidence, and I don't know if I would've been able to do the same--to pursue my goals in life even if all odds are against me. But despite my own shortcomings, I'm truly inspired by my grandmother, and she makes me realize that with hard work and a little bit of luck, I can bring my life goals to fruition. Funnily enough, I feel that that message has become a bit of a cliche at this point. A lot of kids are told that they can make their dreams come true if they put in enough work. Even in kids' movies, this message is prevalent, so much so that it's beginning to lose its meaning... at least for me. Especially right now, during the pandemic and in times of immense racial injustice, things do feel hopeless at times. Nonetheless, my grandmother has taught me to find the confidence to keep moving forward, which is increasingly important in times like these. While I'm not sure what I want to do as a career, I know that this life lesson will push me to be bold in my decisions and beliefs, and pursue them with conviction. And though her story and what it's shown me won't fix the world's or even all of my own problems, it drives me forward to keep pushing for a brighter future, and it's something that I'll never forget.

These images are from a video that was taken when I first did my back tuck on the beam. It was a couple years ago, and I don't remember that well, but I do know that I was extremely scared. Even though I was able to do the flip on the low beam, I hadn't done it on the high beam because I was terrified of falling. However, when I overcame my fear and just did it, I was so happy and proud of myself! After I did it, I knew that it wasn't as bad as I previously thought.