I was a sophomore in high school when it started. My parents had disagreed many times while I was growing up, but that was at night behind closed doors. This year was different; full of many fights that I was not shielded from. I remember one night more vividly than the rest--the night my dad first got kicked out. I was watching TV in my room when I heard yelling from upstairs. I have always been the kind of person who wanted to know what was going on around her, so I ran up the stairs as soon as I heard it. I open the door to the upstairs hallway seeing my two youngest siblings standing to my left, hysterically crying. I see my 13 year old sister, Ellia, trying to get them to their rooms, then she headed over to the kitchen. "Can you guys not do this in front of them?!" Ellia raised her voice at my parents. "Oh, I'm sorry this timing isn't convenient for you. Maybe if your dad didn't drink everyday we wouldn't be having this problem" my mom responded. My mom proceeded to argue with my dad. To understand their arguments, you would have to know that my dad is the kind of person who likes to avoid conflict in fear of getting hurt, and my mom, the exact opposite. My mom yelling at my dad through cries, my dad standing there stuttering knowing nothing he says will make a difference. Then I heard the words no child should ever have to hear come out of their parents mouth: "GET OUT! GO TO YOUR MOMS OR SOMETHING AND DRINK THERE!" my mom shouts. I watched life fade out of my dad's eyes as he tried to reason with her. It was in this moment that I ran back down the stairs not being able to take anymore. As I collapsed to the floor at the bottom of my stairs, I screamed out cries gasping for air. It was as if everything awful thing on Earth had entered my body and was attacking me all at once. This would mark the first of many times my parents had "separated" and got back together. They have not divorced, but are in a continuous cycle of back and forth. Every time I find peace with a decision, they change their minds. This night would mark many things: my first panic attack, the start of my trust issues, my constant in-comfort in something getting too comfortable, never wanting to be home, and my anxiety and depression. I battle the struggle of all of these affects to this day. This long four year journey of back and fourth has destroyed me in ways I cannot begin to describe, but has also helped me grow. Through this journey, I have gained empathy, emotional awareness, conflict sensitivity, adaptability, independence, and a desire for stability. Through all of the times where I felt I had no control, I found myself enjoying helping those who came to me with similar things. Through my loss of control, I found something to give me hope: helping others. Even though I felt like everything in my life was falling apart, helping others through their struggles made me feel like I had been dragged through everything for a reason. Even though my life has felt messy and unstable, I've learned that what I went through does not have to define me, but can be used to help others who feel alone and lost. To me, this is just as rewarding as finding peace for myself.

I've had many teachers throughout my years of high school that I would say have influenced me in some way, shape, or form. However, there is one teacher specifically that stands out: Mr. Schoenherr. While I've had many good teachers, Mr. Schoenherr has not only set a good example as a teacher, but as a person. The difference between the teaching environment in Mr. Schoenherr's classroom and other classrooms is significant. Every day no matter the circumstances, a student can always expect to see Mr. Schoenherr standing at the door, making eye contact with each student as they enter the room, and greeting them by name. By setting a structured time at the beginning of class for dad jokes, the sometimes tense days become much lighter. Most teachers have an authoritarian student-teacher environment, but his laid back and also respectful conditions make learning more relaxed. He makes learning feel like less of a chore and more of a conversation, always stopping along the way to make sure we are all following along. He teaches less at us, and more with us. This way of teaching ensures an overall sense of calm and a patient workplace. Another thing that makes Mr. Schoenherr stand out is his character. He treats every student with the same kindness and does not ever show a sense of favoritism; this is a very admirable trait. It is a hard thing for a high school student to not let emotions get the best of them, or treat others differently, but he sets this example every day. Some teachers try to change students to become more of a learner, but he teaches in a style that makes it seem like more of a person to person environment, than a student teacher environment and this makes it easier to learn effortlessly. Mr Schoenherr never lets anything that is going on in his life affect how he treats others or how he teaches, which is harder than it sounds. He is the perfect model of respect, patience, and hard work. I usually (as most students do) just go to my classes and do the work because I have to, but in Sociology; I look forward to the class and want to do the work, because it is always something new. He somehow makes learning more engaging than any of my other classes. The most interesting this about Mr. Schoenherr is that he likely does not even know the impact he has on me as a learner just by being an exceptional human.

As humans, we are all wired to yearn for more--to chase something that feels good. To me, success does not just mean being good at something; it means you have pushed yourself hard enough to achieve something you truly desire. Everyone chases success; It's not something you achieve one time, it is a way of living. Success, to me, is ongoing. Anyone can feel successful, but truly living successfully is something different. Growing up, I would only ever feel successful when I was noticed by others. I developed my perception of success based on others' praise. It was not until my Junior year that I realized that success was not defined by what others thought of me, but what I could accomplish myself. I think to truly be successful is to fail. Success is not supposed to be easy-- it comes with many challenges and sometimes it takes longer than expected. I never truly understood what it meant to succeed until I had accomplished it myself. Success is not what you have accomplished, but rather the effort you are willing to put in for your accomplishments. As Arthur Ashe once said, "Success is a journey, not a destination".