My brother is 2 years older than I, although I have always felt further apart. Hudson has struggled with substance abuse since I was 12 years old. Although his addictions do not define him as a person, they have changed the relationship I have always dreamed of having with my brother. Hudson has abused alcohol, nicotine, cocaine, painkillers, and many other substances. Through different treatments over the years, he still has not overcome the authority that drugs have over his life. There have been many nights in my youth that I sat terrified in my room, worrying about my brother's well-being and the safety of my home. I have been the one to find him overdosed after intentional overuse. I have also been a witness to violence when he has been asked to attend rehabilitation centers. I would never wish these experiences upon anyone. As Hudson disrupts my household with this abuse and the constant need to mentally disappear, I found myself declaring a lifetime of sobriety. Being sober for almost 19 years has shown me the joys of life and how necessary positive relationships are to being successful. I have reached dreams and been granted opportunities that I could not have had if I had gone down the same path as my brother. I have watched drugs take away one's light and pride. I have watched someone lose their purpose and spark because they could not gain control of their life. I have gained a passion for kindness and patience through my brother's substance abuse. I have learned that you can never fully understand what someone is going through, and you cannot understand how it controls them. Without Hudson, I would lack the experience to learn sympathy at such a deep level, a level that has made me the person I am today. My freshman year of college, when I moved into MIZZOU, I found myself living without Hudson for the first time in my life. Not having someone struggling with drugs two doors down from me was a new experience. Dorm life made me realize that I truly do not know what these strangers are going through. It has motivated me to become an activist for those who struggle. I now carry Narcan in my bag at all times, no matter the event. I also encourage those around me to and have helped organize mass handouts of it, especially in Greek life, to promote helping those in need instead of judging them. Secondhand drug abuse has changed my life in more ways than one. Watching a loved one lose themselves to substances has been the hardest thing in my life. However, I believe what you do with adversity defines who you are.