The thought of graduating in May and running off to college with no money is a scary thought. The thought of what Im going to do with my life that will mean something to me and the people around me is a scarier one. I have always thought that I would become an artist. I was struggling to find a real purpose in the thing I loved most, it seemed like the perfect track to take given the talent and passion I have for it. Recently, after letting God heal the depression I had built my life and identity upon, I realized that the purpose I want is one in which I am living for other people. I've struggled with anxiety, feelings of low self-worth, and hopelessness for much of my life. I've had difficulty making friends and feeling overwhelmed when having a simple conversation with others. When I let God take my struggles rather than dealing with them on my own, I was able to explore my identity in him and find confidence in the worth he says I have. Now, I love talking to people, and I've been a friend to many struggling with mental health issues, including suicide, depression, and eating disorders. While I've had a stepmother whose done an amazing job at raising my sister an I with good values and fostering our intelligence, I know there are plenty of children and teens who go their whole lives without any mentor who understands them, with no money for someone who can help them and their family navigate the life they are living. Even with such an amazing stepmother the effect my broken family has had on my childhood is heavy. I never realized the weight of it till I took a look into my choices and personal thought processes leading to them, and I want to help children and families going through struggles like the ones I experienced and so much more. The war of the mind is perhaps the greatest war a human can fight, and we all fight it every day. It affects all aspects of our lives, including relationships, choices, and physical health. I've had multiple friends and neighbors struggling with suicide, bipolar, eating disorders, and many other forms of depression and anxiety. I've done countless reports on the correlation between social media and mental health. These struggles are all around us, and with the help of social media, they are falsely glorified. This current epidemic of glorifying mental struggles is so far from helping anybody. I want to be able to use my interest in the human brain and body, something that God so intricately and beautifully designed, to help a wide range of people and families navigate and understand their struggles, ways to cope, and make healthy decisions in lifestyle and ways to move forward by studying christian counseling. I know the world will always be broken, but if I can make even a small difference with the life I have been given, I believe God will take care of the rest, and I am exactly where Im supposed to be. My family has never had much money, I haven't even turned in my FAFSA because of how behind they are on taxes. I’m working long hours at Chick-fil-A to make money because I realize my education will probably have to be out of pocket. But even through this current struggle, I am trusting that my hard work will get me somewhere, and I will one day be able to provide help for others the way I have been provided for.

When I was five my dad took my younger sister and I out of the state of Texas where we had been born. My biological mother was a meth addict and was in and out of jail during my earlier life. When we moved to VA, my dad had another child with a woman who treated me abusively. We moved again and finally, a woman of faith stepped into our lives and completely saved the future of how my family would function, what we would believe, and how those things would shape my sister and my lives. I look back now and realize that my stepmother had turned down her dreams of pursuing professional music to help our family. Through times of eviction and living in a motel she was the reason we had food to eat and celebrated Christmas with gifts under a tree that otherwise might not have been there. Most importantly she told us about Jesus. Her faith to our family has saved us from a future of so many unfavorable possibilities, but her faith In God is what saved me from the fear of becoming just like my biological mother. I've had many mental health struggles over the years that really debilitated my social skills, my self-worth, and thoughts about the purpose of life. If there is anything my stepmom has taught me is that living for others is the best purpose there is, she lived for us and now I want to live for others. I attended a church camp this winter after a year of letting God break down all the depression that built my life and finally got some peace on what I want to do with it. One of the leaders asked the question “If you had unlimited resources, how would you use your life for God?” I've been struggling with the idea of either pursuing my passion for art or using my experiences to help others in a therapy setting, but in that moment I had a new perspective of the things I could do with my life that could affect others the way my mother has me. God gave me peace that only he can give about my choice. My mother owns a small business. She has taught me very valuable money management skills, customer service, a very good sense of responsibility, and the knowledge to keep going even when things get tough. I would love to have my own counseling business, My mom made me feel less alone in all my struggles and I want to do the same for others. She made me feel valued even when I didn't see anything at all of value when I looked at myself. I want others to feel the same and be able to navigate through feelings, understanding any chemical imbalances in their brains but not defining themselves by them. My family has never had much money, I haven't even turned in my FAFSA because of how behind they are on taxes. I’m working long hours at Chick-fil-A to make money because I realize my education will probably have to be out of pocket. But even through this current struggle my mother is standing by me and giving me hope, if it weren't for her I never would've had the example of what it looks like to follow Christ, the only way she was able to help us the way she did is because she listened to him and now I want to do the same and follow her example.