The Challenge of severe depression during COVID
I remember the most impactful volunteer project that I participated in was when I spent a day with my church, helping to clean up the rubble of people’s houses after a tornado had passed through the Indian Lake area. It was such a humbling experience taking a break from my everyday life inside my warm house to help other families who lost practically everything because of this tornado. Sifting through the remains of people’s personal belongings and houses was the most detrimental and accurate display of having to pick up the pieces of your life. Each memory that the now destroyed items held seemed to fade as they were added to the pile of soon-to-be-disposed items. There was so much accomplished over a wide variety of strangers, as they were all united towards the seemingly unfathomable goal of returning these people’s lives to normality. While they did not have much to show in return, the families we helped were extremely grateful for the community support that surrounded them during their time of need.
Reflecting on my journey, I can draw significant parallels between that experience and my own struggles during the pandemic. I remember how life went from being so loud to so quiet. What started as an exciting two weeks off from school turned into months of loneliness. It was as if everything crashed down and froze, and I was left to pick up the pieces within the isolation of quarantine. My relationships with my friends and family began to dwindle, and other aspects of my life that I had invested a significant portion of my identity in, such as school and sports, came to a screeching halt. I did not know where life would take me next, and after weeks of feeling frozen, I wondered if life would ever move again. Without having a community and support system behind me, encouraging me to keep moving forward, I decided to freeze in life. I became so depressed, and without all of the external factors contributing to my identity, I did not know who I was.
This experience, despite being one of the lowest moments of my life, has been important in shaping the person I am today. I have now established a new identity in Christ and have tried my best to be the encouragement that others need in life when they need it most. After my experience of struggling in isolation, I learned how important it is to have a community of support surrounding you. After the pandemic was over, I re-immersed myself in my community and local youth groups. I volunteered wherever I could each task looking a little different from the rest. Out of choice, I would go with youth for Christ members and pray over local schools, I am a leader in one of my local youth groups where I can help teach and encourage girls to read the bible, I pray with my soccer and track teams before games and meets and even pray with individuals if they feel weighted and stressed, and I also participated in a homeless ministry out of state where we handed out soup and clothing items. Another thing I love to do with my friends is visit a store, buy bouquets of flowers, write encouraging messages on notecards, and put them on people’s cars around town. Whenever we do this, it leaves a lasting impression not only on others, but it also makes me feel happier for the rest of my day.
I am so thankful that I am no longer struggling in isolation, and I am grateful for the opportunities God has given me to encourage others. I have seen him transform my identity and the lives of many people. Due to Jesus’s legacy, the amazing stories I have read in the bible, and the love that the Lord has given to me, I have tried my best to love people to life just as Jesus did to me. While I know it is impossible to be that for everyone, getting a degree in Biblical studies and helping in youth organizations and ministry will give me the opportunity to pour into youth of all demographics and backgrounds who are struggling with the same things I once was. Helping them to find their true worth not from things that this world has to offer but in their faith in Jesus Christ is a passion that has been laid on my heart all because of the challenge I faced my 6th grade year of school. What could have ended in a horrible way, God is using for good and I could not be happier.