What is healthy eating? If someone had asked me that question a few years ago I would have said that healthy eating is a diet consisting of vegetables, fruits, and low in carbs and sugars. Now though, I see healthy eating differently. Yes, eating fruits and vegetables is still important, but for me balance is the key to healthy eating. During the Covid-19 pandemic, I stopped taking care of myself. There was a period during the winter of 2020 and into 2021 when I was quarantined at home and developed what most people would call an eating disorder. I could not clearly see my body and felt like I was fat. I started exercising constantly and stopped eating most meals. I would eat dinner with my family but any meals I was responsible for feeding myself I skipped. If I need a snack I would eat a few pieces of cucumber or pepper and I largely relied on drinking copious amounts of water to suppress my appetite. Despite the exercise I did daily, I was still staying inside and therefore I did not realize just how tired and weakened my body was. When I started attending school in person again I stopped having as much time to exercise. I tried doing it before school which cut down my sleep time enough that eventually I was unable to maintain it. Being in school made skipping meals even easier for me. I simply would not bring food to school or I would leave it in my locker all day. I got to a point where I would feel faint and dizzy at the end of the school day nearly every day. I started eating a small snack when I would feel dizzy in order to push away the feeling. It worked for a little bit, but the lack of food caught up to me. I realized I had to make a change or I would constantly be feeling faint and tired. I started by buying a bento box I could use to pack my lunches. Organizing them so I had a main carb, a fruit, a vegetable, and a low-calorie snack was the beginning. It was hard for me to eat the food. I felt guilty when I would come home with an empty lunch box. But it got easier over time. I started exploring more food options to give myself different lunch choices. I reincorporated the snacks my brain deemed as ‘unhealthy’ back into my lunches, justifying it as okay because I still had fruits and vegetables. I slowly began to change my mindset. Not eating was just as unhealthy as only eating snacks. All my favorite foods were okay in moderation, but balance was key. Now I am doing much better. I eat what I want and do my best to push the guilt away. I try to pack a balanced lunch every day but if I forget I know it won’t have a huge impact on me. Eating gives me the fuel I need to accomplish my daily tasks. When I don’t eat I’m more tired, more irritable, and more emotional overall. Eating is not only necessary for me to live, but necessary for me to live happily. It’s been nearly two years since I decided I couldn’t eat what I wanted. It’s been a year and a half since I started trying to fix my mindset. Eating healthily is still a work in progress but I’ve come a long way and can now say I am happier with my body and my body is happier with me.

Remember your childhood lessons. One would think that our kindergarten lessons become useless or obsolete as we grow older and move into the ‘real world.’ That idea couldn’t be more wrong. Our childhood shapes our adulthood, and the lessons we learn as children can help us even decades later. “Just keep swimming.” Wise words from a small fish. One might think Dory’s mantra is silly but it is applicable to nearly any situation. From a young age, most children are told never to give up, which also applies to scholarships. I started applying to scholarships with the belief that I would apply to one or two, win them, and be done. I could not have been more wrong. But just like Dory said, I cannot give up. There are many small scholarships available to me, but part of me wonders if small scholarships are really worth it. I know I need a significant amount of money to attend college, so why should I waste time on small scholarships? The Wonder Pets answer this question for me with a line from the show’s theme song, “we're not too big and we're not too tough, but when we work together we've got the right stuff.” A singular small scholarship may not be a lot for me, but added up small scholarships can make a huge difference in my ability to pay for college. My favorite lesson is from Elmo. I have a distinct memory of watching an episode of Sesame Street in which Abby and Elmo are attempting to jump rope. Abby has some difficulty picking up the skill and begins to feel frustrated but Elmo tells her it's okay to feel frustrated. The same thing happens when Elmo tries to jump rope and fails. The two decide that it's okay to feel frustrated and switch to jumping normally since they can always jump rope later. Scholarship searching can be exhausting and frustrating. There are days when I feel like I cannot write another essay or read another page, but I’ve learned that that’s ok. I can stop and take a break then come back to it later. Finding Nemo, Wonder Pets, and Sesame Street; none of these are shows or movies that talk about college or scholarships. But the lessons within them have helped me immensely. Don’t give up, because as long as you keep trying you will succeed. I have not won any scholarships yet, but that is not to say I will not win one in the future. A small amount can make a difference. On its own, a small scholarship may not be much, but a collection of small scholarships can be equal to or greater than any of the larger scholarships. And lastly, let yourself breathe. The frenzy to apply for scholarships can be tiring and rough, but it's okay to take a break and make some time for myself.

Competitive swimming is a sport made up of individual events, but that does not make it any less of a team sport. I’ve been swimming competitively since I was six years old and it has contributed so much to who I am and how I’ve grown. The pool is a safe space for me, one where I can not only express myself but where I can nurture the growth of young children and take care of them. I’ve suffered from terrible acne since I was in fourth grade and hated when people could see my skin, but swimming did not allow me to cover up. I had to wear a standard racing suit just like every other swimmer, leaving most of my skin exposed. Not one person ever commented on my skin. I never felt stared at or uncomfortable due to other people, a feeling that did not carry over to school or other activities when I was wearing significantly more clothing. The pool was a safe space. A judgment-free zone where I could feel comfortable in my own skin. I’ve formed friendships during the few months of summer swimming that I hold closer to my heart than the bonds I have with some of my friends from school. My swim friends are not only there for me in the summer, but a community that relies on each other during the school year as well. We may not be able to see each other frequently due to busy school schedules, but we are constantly calling or texting each other. My swim team is small, but very tightly knit together and always willing to support and lift each other up. Being a competitive swimmer has also allowed me to teach younger children to swim. I started volunteering to teach our pre-team a few years ago. As I learned in my lifeguarding class, there are over 8000 drownings per year in America. As a lifeguard that reality is terrifying, but as a swimmer, it only hardened my will. When I am not actively lifeguarding during the summer I am teaching children to swim. Be it as part of my swim team with the younger kids and the siblings of team members, or as a swim instructor at my pool. Some of my earliest students now say hi to me at my school or will ask me to watch them go down the slide. My proudest moments are when I’m teaching a student and I watch them go from being unable to swim to being able to compete in a swim meet. Swimming is dangerous, but it is also fun and freeing. Competitive swimming has given me a community of friends I can always talk to, adults I know I can lean on for help, and students of my own that teach me how to be a better person. The ability to swim is such an important skill to learn and I am honored to not only be a role model as a competitive swimmer but also to be able to teach children a skill that could one day save their lives.

“Mommy, Daddy, I’m queer.” These are the words I wish I’d had the strength to say sooner. The words I wish I could feel comfortable discussing with them. But how could I when it was always such a foreign thing? How am I supposed to know and be proud of my identity when all my life being queer has been seen as taboo? My community is a bubble. I’ve had very few outside influences in my life to counter the Jewish ideology I’ve been fed from birth. Homosexuality has always been avoided in conversation. The only queer people I grew up knowing were two of my parent's friends, but even they pretended not to be a couple in public when visiting. I was sheltered from nearly all knowledge of the LGBTQ+ community. Last year I decided I didn’t want any more students at my school to go through the uncertainty and self-doubt I felt. My friend and I started Aegis: a safe space for queer students and allies to meet and grow. The process of establishing our club was unbelievably difficult. It took countless hours of writing emails, meetings with multiple members of the administration, and gallons of tears before we were told that Aegis could not be an official club. It was devastating. But there was no rule against students meeting up during breaks to hang out. And so Aegis became an unofficial club. We slowly amassed members until approximately ten percent of the students in the high school were involved. This year we became an official club. It took dedication and persistence to achieve our goal: to create a safe space where we can build a community in which no one feels left out or ridiculed. Even outside of the Jewish community, it is hard to find LGBTQ+ representation. Queer media content is incredibly sparse and is often limited to the ‘gay best friend’ or ‘trans sibling.’ Even in media that is centered around queer people, there is still very little that goes beyond the ‘most common’ labels. Representation matters. It makes the biggest difference in a young child’s life to see someone like them on TV or to share traits with their favorite book characters. When I came out to a family friend, she was able to understand my label because she’d read about a character in a book who identifies the same way. In creating Aegis I have also found my passion in life and how I can truly make a difference in the world around me. I love reading and writing and have been thinking of becoming an author for years. Watching Aegis bloom and the community of young students that have found role models and people like them has inspired me to combine my queer identity with my love of writing. I now have a genre for my writing other than ‘fantasy’ or ‘fiction.’ I’ve always looked for myself in the novels I read, and now I plan to write books in which people like me can see themselves. There is still so little representation in media for queer people. I am going to change that. If I can write a book that makes even one young queer person feel more comfortable in their own skin, I will consider it a success. For so long there has been no one for us to look up to and I am determined to change that through my own writing.

“Mommy, Daddy, I’m queer.” These are the words I wish I’d had the strength to say sooner. The words I wish I could feel comfortable discussing with them. But how could I when it was always such a foreign thing? How am I supposed to know and be proud of my identity when all my life being queer has been seen as taboo? My community is a bubble. I’ve had very few outside influences in my life to counter the Jewish ideology I’ve been fed from birth. Homosexuality has always been avoided in conversation. The only queer people I grew up knowing were two of my parent's friends, but even they pretended not to be a couple in public when visiting. I was sheltered from nearly all knowledge of the LGBTQ+ community until middle school when my friend proudly announced her cousin was trans. My classmates bullied and harassed her for that declaration. I didn’t even consider the possibility I could be queer until the pandemic. It took me two years to figure out who I am. It took me nearly three to tell my parents. My extended family is still unaware. Because how could I tell them when their religion would say I’m an abomination? How can I tell them when all I’ve ever seen is that being queer is something to hide? Last year I decided I didn’t want any more students at my school to go through the uncertainty and self-doubt I felt. My friend, the very same one from eighth grade, and I started Aegis: a safe space for queer students and allies to meet and grow. The process of establishing our club was unbelievably difficult. It took countless hours of writing emails, meetings with multiple members of the administration, and gallons of tears before we were told that Aegis could not be an official club. It was devastating. But there was still hope in the form of the headmaster’s behind-the-scenes support. There was no rule against students meeting up during breaks to hang out, a fact he pointed out to us. And so Aegis became an unofficial club. We slowly amassed members until approximately ten percent of the students in the high school were involved. This year we became an official club. It took dedication and persistence to achieve our goal: to create a safe space where we can build a community in which no one feels left out or ridiculed. I’m incredibly proud to be cohead of Aegis and I will be even prouder when I hand it off to the next class knowing they will continue striving for inclusivity and equality within our school and community. Even outside of the Jewish community, it is hard to find LGBTQ+ representation. Queer media content is incredibly sparse and is often limited to the ‘gay best friend’ or ‘trans sibling.’ Even in media that is centered around queer people, there is still very little that goes beyond the ‘most common’ labels. Representation matters. It makes the biggest difference in a young child’s life to see someone like them on TV or to share traits with their favorite book characters. When I came out to a family friend, she was able to understand my label because she’d read about a character in a book who identifies the same way. In creating Aegis I have also found my passion in life and how I can truly make a difference in the world around me. I love reading and writing and have been thinking of becoming an author for years. Watching Aegis bloom and the community of young students that have found role models and people like them has inspired me to combine my queer identity with my love of writing. I now have a genre for my writing other than ‘fantasy’ or ‘fiction.’ I’ve always looked for myself in the novels I read, and now I plan to write books in which people like me can see themselves. There is still so little representation in media for queer people. I am going to change that. If I can write a book that makes even one young queer person feel more comfortable in their own skin, I will consider it a success. For so long there has been no one for us to look up to and I am determined to change that through my own writing.

“Mommy, Daddy, I’m queer.” These are the words I wish I’d had the strength to say sooner. The words I wish I could feel comfortable discussing with them. But how could I when it was always such a foreign thing? How am I supposed to know and be proud of my identity when all my life being queer has been seen as taboo? My community is a bubble. I’ve had very few outside influences in my life to counter the Jewish ideology I’ve been fed from birth. Homosexuality has always been avoided in conversation. The only queer people I grew up knowing were two of my parent's friends, but even they pretended not to be a couple in public when visiting. I was sheltered from nearly all knowledge of the LGBTQ+ community until middle school when my friend proudly announced her cousin was trans. My classmates bullied and harassed her for that declaration. I didn’t even consider the possibility I could be queer until the pandemic. It took me two years to figure out who I am. It took me nearly three to tell my parents. My extended family is still unaware. Because how could I tell them when their religion would say I’m an abomination? How can I tell them when all I’ve ever seen is that being queer is something to hide? Last year I decided I didn’t want any more students at my school to go through the uncertainty and self-doubt I felt. My friend, the very same one from eighth grade, and I started Aegis: a safe space for queer students and allies to meet and grow. The process of establishing our club was unbelievably difficult. It took countless hours of writing emails, meetings with multiple members of the administration, and gallons of tears before we were told that Aegis could not be an official club. It was devastating. But there was still hope in the form of the headmaster’s behind-the-scenes support. There was no rule against students meeting up during breaks to hang out, a fact he pointed out to us. And so Aegis became an unofficial club. We slowly amassed members until approximately ten percent of the students in the high school were involved. This year we became an official club. It took dedication and persistence to achieve our goal: to create a safe space where we can build a community in which no one feels left out or ridiculed. I’m incredibly proud to be cohead of Aegis and I will be even prouder when I hand it off to the next class knowing they will continue striving for inclusivity and equality within our school and community. Even outside of the Jewish community, it is hard to find LGBTQ+ representation. Queer media content is incredibly sparse and is often limited to the ‘gay best friend’ or ‘trans sibling.’ Even in media that is centered around queer people, there is still very little that goes beyond the ‘most common’ labels. Representation matters. It makes the biggest difference in a young child’s life to see someone like them on TV or to share traits with their favorite book characters. When I came out to a family friend, she was able to understand my label because she’d read about a character in a book who identifies the same way. In creating Aegis I have also found my passion in life and how I can truly make a difference in the world around me. I love reading and writing and have been thinking of becoming an author for years. Watching Aegis bloom and the community of young students that have found role models and people like them has inspired me to combine my queer identity with my love of writing. I now have a genre for my writing other than ‘fantasy’ or ‘fiction.’ I’ve always looked for myself in the novels I read, and now I plan to write books in which people like me can see themselves. There is still so little representation in media for queer people. I am going to change that. If I can write a book that makes even one young queer person feel more comfortable in their own skin, I will consider it a success. For so long there has been no one for us to look up to and I am determined to change that through my own writing.