Softball is a game of failure; anyone who plays it knows this is true. As a player who devoted much blood, sweat, and more tears than I would like to admit, I’ve had to deal with a lot of struggles. Sometimes I even wonder why I ever fell in love with the game, because there is one thing that I despise: failure. My sophomore year in high school was the best hitting season in my softball career. I led in nearly all batting statistics and was eager to obtain more successes. Riding the high of high school softball, I was looking forward to another incredible summer softball season, until I stepped up to my first at-bat. My intuition hinted that something didn’t feel right, but I brushed it aside. Before I knew it, I was walking back into the dugout after a strike out swinging. This uncharacteristic trend continued, as I was striking out swinging more often than I ever had before. I became so upset with failing to hit, I wouldn’t even swing the bat. I found myself looking for a way to get on base by walking. To overcome my struggles, I spent extra time with coaches, teammates, and my parents working on getting my swing back. In practice I saw results, but when it came to gametime I did not see the same successes. The fear of failure resonated with me for another two seasons. I continued to struggle with batting, finding myself either striking out looking or walking. One day, it took one trip to the plate for my batting to click. My coaches instructed me to just swing at the first pitch I saw, and I hit a double. Instantaneously, I felt like my old sophomore self. As the season progressed, I was becoming more successful at the plate. I realized striking out looking was losing an opportunity to get on base; while striking out swinging was a chance to put the ball into play. My lesson broadened outside the game of softball and seeped into my life. Academically, I’ve always struggled in math. Instead of asking questions, I kept to my notes hoping to correct my own mistakes. I wanted to protect my reputation as someone who “got it.” I struck out looking several times because I refused to approach people for help. Now, I realize if I would have accepted vulnerability, I could have improved my learning process. Just maybe, calculus could have been easier for me to understand. In life, trying and failing is better than failing without effort. Striking out swinging or looking is a symbolism to one of life’s valuable lessons. I’m far from done with failure. I will undoubtedly experience more trials in my life’s journey. Softball, much like life itself, has failures and opportunities coexisting in every moment. This is why I love the game of softball! While I may despise failure, I appreciate how the game creates unique opportunities. So when I’m up to bat in the game of life I may strike out - but if I’m going to strike out - I’m going down swinging for the fences.

"Bad Blood" is the first song that describes my year from 1989 (Taylor's Version) album. It would start out with me falling for my first boyfriend. "You Are in Love" is how I felt as we started to date and hang out. He was such a sweet kid, kind, considerate, and someone who could get me out of my shell. We'd been falling for almost a year, and we shared our first kiss and he asked me to be his girfriend. He is a year and a half younger than I am, and technically couldn't officially date until 16. His parents were fairly involved in our relationship, and always was a middle man between us. I always convinced myself I would be worth the wait until he turned 16 to go on these adventures with him. Nothing crazy, but my life felt like it would bloom in a new, exciting direction. "Out of the Woods" would explain how as we got closer to him turning 16, his parents started to back off a little bit, but I was still unsure on their hold on him. I didn't want to get him in trouble so I would always make sure he wasn't lying to me that his parents were still okay. When I thought we were "Out of the Woods," things ended up going south after we hung out at a park. After his parents found out we hung out, I noticed he was less involved in our relationship, causing me to worry. Right before spring break, a month out from Prom, and two months out from his birthday, he broke up with me. I would love to say it was mutual understanding, but I was waiting for his 16th birthday for so long, I became bitter. I cried a storm that night, my hopes and dreams of finally being together with him were blown out. It was gut wrenching, and my emotions were as fierce as a lion."All You Had to Do Was Stay" summed up my mind-consuming thoughts, and just the idea of how if he would have stayed, I would have never been in the state that I was in. I'd have wild dreams of us being back together, making the healing process longer. I really just hoped that I was in his "Wildest Dreams" hoping he was regretting his decision. As time went on, he became unresponsive and ignorant to me. He would make infuriating comments time to time taking shots about me and my personality. A whole summer passed and he still was as bitter as when he first broke up with me. "Bad Blood" would explain the beef I still have with him now, but for me its to a simmer. The sweet, considerate, and kind boy was no longer around. His whole personality changed not just with me, but to everyone around us. My brother is in the same friend group as my ex, and even notices the change in my ex's behavior. Summer for me allowed me to wipe my hands "Clean" of him, and I just now "Shake it Off." I've accepted my side of the story, but "Bad Blood" will always run between us.

Softball is always off and on in the Olympics, but getting to watch softball being played in Tokyo was awesome. On Team USA, I'd say my favorite player to watch was Rachel Garcia, especially her college career. She is one of the last powerhouse pitchers to also hit extremely well. I loved watching her dominate at UCLA, but also loved to see how she handled adversity. Anyone can tell a lot by body language, especially negative body language after giving up a homerun, hit, or walk. Never with Garcia. The game was still under her control, even if her team was down. Her bull dog mentality has kept UCLA and Team USA in many games, especially when it would be easy to give up. As a pitcher, I understand a lot of the negative feelings after giving up an important hit in a game. The pressures are immense time to time, but Rachel Garcia is truly is an inspiration. Even though I'm not as tall, big, or as strong as she is, she inspires me to have a strong positive mentality. Her confidence is contagious, and I want to be the teammate who is confident in myself, and can help my teammates feel the same way. Softball is a sisterhood, and I feel that softball is one of the strongest sisterhood sports in the Olympics and in general. Anyone who is Rachel Garcia's teammate is extremely lucky. She is such a good influence on everyone, and I hope to work to be as good as she is.