Since I was young, I knew I wanted to have a future career where I helped others each day. As I grew older, however, this career goal shifted from simply a desire to a passion. Today, I am committed to pursuing a career in mental health therapy, where I can have a positive impact on others each day. So, here’s the “why” behind my passion. When I was in high school, my life took a major turn. I had always been a happy, smiley kid who loved life, but at the start of my junior year of high school, everything changed. My family had been experiencing turmoil at home for years, but it had progressively gotten worse to the point where I didn’t feel safe or welcome at home. My self-esteem plummeted, I felt like a burden to my family, and I began to hate myself and didn’t care about my well-being. I developed anxiety and severe depression, and each day became a struggle to get up and make it through the day. Though I had always been a straight-A student, my grades were starting to fall behind since I was not motivated to do my work, study, or even attend school. By the time the spring semester rolled around, I was at risk of not graduating on time due to the major shift in my grades. As a result of my lack of ability to do schoolwork and my worsening emotional condition, I took the semester off from school to be hospitalized and work to improve my mental health. During this time, I began to isolate myself, spend hours and hours sleeping, and engaged in self-harming behaviors. Every day felt miserable, and I saw no purpose in continuing to try, as things weren’t getting any better. Since I had fallen behind in school, I felt like my future had dissolved right before my eyes, and having any education beyond high school was no longer an option. I was attending therapy each week and taking psychiatric medications, but it was a struggle to find the right treatment combination that worked for my body. Over the course of several months, however, somehow the right combination came along. I was finally able to see a glimpse of hope for my life and future. Things were by no means easy at this point, as there were many days where I wanted to give up and let the depression win. But, there were slight improvements happening every week. Though I still can’t explain how, I was eventually able to graduate in the top 10 of my high school class, and I was accepted to college to study Human Services. However, now I had a different purpose and a new reason for choosing this career path. With the help of my school counselor and therapist, I had continued moving forward in my life despite the pain I was feeling each day. It took lots of time and encouragement, but I did it. This accomplishment led to me deciding to pursue a career in therapy, so I could provide support to other adolescents going through similar battles. I feel that my personal experiences will be helpful in providing hope to others and showing them that it may be hard right now, but you can overcome your pain. Living with depression is still an uphill battle and will continue to be for me throughout my life. However, I am an example of what is possible with the right care, and I am passionate about using my experiences to help others who are fighting mental illness.

As the dream version of my future self, I will be a Licensed Clinical Social Worker helping adolescents who are struggling with their mental health, and I will have a role as a cellist in the symphony orchestra in my neighborhood that I participate in outside of my time helping youth in the community.

My own Barbie Dream House would be located on top of a grassy hill in a rural area of North Carolina with a breathtaking view of the valley below. In such a serene setting, simplicity is best, so the house would be small in size with just enough room for a family to be comfortable. The house will only be one level and will look like a small cottage that you hear about in fairytales. Outside, there will be fig and apple trees, a field of sunflowers, and a porch swing that will be used to end each day in nature with a good book. Down a path from the house will be a handmade tree swing with nearby birdhouses and a vegetable garden to tend to during the spring and summer. Inside the house, there will be an abundance of natural lighting and tall windows to allow you to see the immaculate views even when you are inside. The kitchen will be small, with only the essentials, but there will be a large dining area so family and friends can come over to spend time together. There will be a master bedroom and 2 additional bedrooms in the house, one for guests and the other for future family members. The master suite will include a clawfoot bathtub, a queen size bed, and a large skylight to ensure natural light can enter the room each morning. Spread amongst the inside of the house will be various flowers and plants to bring a more relaxing vibe to the home. Lastly, the inside of the home will include a music room that includes a piano, cello, and ample space to produce beautiful sounds throughout the home.

It is easy to tell someone who is facing mental health challenges to “just be happy” when they are dealing with challenges like depression or anxiety. However, for those of us who live with these challenges every day, we know it is not that simple of a solution. As I have learned throughout the past several years of my life, mental illness can be debilitating. From dealing with extreme social anxiety to having crippling depression and suicidal thoughts, it is not as easy as many people think to fight with your mind on a daily basis. Mental illness has had a large impact on my life, not only through overcoming personal experience but also in shaping my future career goals. About nine years ago when I was a junior in high school, I started to experience symptoms of depression. Over time, these symptoms slowly began expanding to self-harming behaviors and suicidal ideation, and I was no longer able to see a future for myself. I felt very misunderstood by my family and friends, further increasing my feelings of loneliness and shame. Additionally, I was hospitalized multiple times for being suicidal, and I had to leave school for a semester while I was recovering, thus putting me behind in my studies. As a result, I was at risk of not graduating high school with my class, and I felt as if I had lost all hope for my future. Through extensive therapy and trial and error in medications, I gradually began to learn to love myself and have a new vision for my future, despite many friends and family still not understanding what I was going through. I was able to catch up in my classes and graduate from high school and even went on to start and complete college. Today, years later, I am in graduate school studying social work, and though I am still living with major depressive disorder and difficulties with anxiety, I have found that it is possible to find joy in the midst of mental illness. Though it has been a constant uphill battle, I do find gratitude in my past experiences, as they have led me to pursue a career in social work. Using my past experiences, I want to help other young adults who are experiencing mental illness and having difficulty moving forward in their lives. Having this first-hand experience will help me better relate to the clients I will be working with, as well as have a stronger understanding of how to best help them. Mental illness is difficult to deal with, especially when loved ones around you are not supportive, so I am passionate about challenging the stigma surrounding mental illness in my future career so the path to recovery from mental illness can become more accepted and understood by others.

Since I was in middle school, I always wanted to be a "helper" when I grew up. I dreamed of being a therapist or working with the elderly to help them enjoy life to its fullest, as I knew I wanted to do something impactful in my future career. Little did I know, as I grew older, I would be on the receiving end of such helping services, something I never imagined for myself. About 8 years ago, I was diagnosed with a severe major depressive disorder, and it completely shifted the path I was taking for my life. It started with general feelings of distress, which turned into extreme depression, self-hating thoughts, and eventually self-harm and suicidal ideation. I attended therapy, took medication, and I completed multiple hospital stays over the course of several years. Despite receiving treatment, the depressive symptoms I experience have never fully ceased, as my illness is recurrent. It is stressful not knowing when another depressive episode will be triggered, and this uncertainty often leads to feelings of dread and hopelessness. Learning to live with major depressive disorder has been incredibly burdensome, but I am continuing to learn each day how to better cope with it and enjoy my life in spite of these difficulties. Along with the physical and mental effects that come with major depressive disorder, it has also been difficult to navigate the stigma that surrounds mental illness. When I was first diagnosed in high school, most of my family and friends misunderstood what I was experiencing and thought my symptoms were not a realistic concern. It has taken a lot of learning and discussion with my family to gain a common understanding of what mental illness is and its validity. You cannot simply "choose to be happier" or "pray the depression away" as I had commonly been told. I have learned that it takes a lot more hard work and dedication to move forward and learn to live with mental illness. Despite the many struggles and hurt that have come along with this illness, I can now see that it has actually brought a positive outcome to my life. My struggles with mental illness have led me to pursue a career as a social worker in the mental health field. After experiencing adverse interactions with mental health professionals as an adolescent, I want to become the opposite and provide exceptional care for those enduring mental health challenges. I believe it is important to advocate for those with mental illness, and continuing my studies to gain a Master of Social Work degree will bring me a wonderful avenue to do so. When you are in the middle of a mental storm feeling such intense emotions, it is nearly impossible to see any hope in the distance shining through. However, I can attest to the fact that finding that hope again is possible. I want to share my first-hand experiences with others and help them learn to believe that you can move forward, no matter what you are facing.

Though I am only in my mid 20's, I have already had the experience of living with Major Depressive Disorder for the past 8 years. To make it to this point in my life, I have had to endure many trials, face stigma and judgment from family and friends, try medication after medication, and engage in countless therapy sessions. I would not wish this condition on anyone else, because it has proven to be very difficult to deal with. However, living with Major Depressive Disorder has brought good into my life, as it has led me to my current career path in social work, and has resulted in me believing I have a purpose in helping others who are facing similar challenges. Transitioning from an adolescent who struggled with suicidal thoughts and saw no future for her life to now being an adult in graduate school is a huge accomplishment for me. Years ago, I saw no purpose for myself and even had a difficult time passing my courses to make it to my high school graduation. I was hospitalized multiple times and was absent too many days of school to be able to make up my missed coursework before my graduation date. However, through the dedicated help of teachers and my guidance counselor, I courageously made it to June 10, 2016 when I walked across the stage in my cap and gown and was handed my diploma. To say I was proud of myself is an understatement. After graduation, starting my college career brought new, exciting experiences, but the depression still followed me, as my condition is recurrent and results in multiple depressive episodes over time. Despite the ups and downs of my mental illness during my time in college, however, I managed to graduate a semester early with the honors of summa cum laude. I obtained a Bachelor of Arts in Human Services and had plans to go into a helping profession in the mental health field. Though I took a year off to work full-time before applying to graduate school, I soon was accepted and admitted into the Master of Social Work program at Winthrop University. Throughout my graduate studies so far, I have gained additional confidence that I am on the correct carer path in social work. I feel I was put on Earth to make a difference by sharing my difficult experiences with others in hopes of bringing a bit of brightness to their lives. At times when my depression creeps back in, I often have doubts about my ability to complete my degree, but my sister and mother have always been by my side to pick me back up and provide encouragement for me to keep pushing through. Living with Major Depressive Disorder can be a revealing experience, as it highlights the people in your life who genuinely care about your well-being and are willing to try to understand your struggles. Throughout the past 8 years, I have been told by family and friends that I was faking my mental illness to get attention from people, that I had a good life and no reason to be depressed, and that my struggles with depression could simply be absolved with the right amount of prayer. This consistent experience of stigma and misunderstanding led to me feeling more alone in my fight with Major Depressive Disorder and caused me to realize that not everyone in my life will be supportive during difficult circumstances. Slowly over time, however, I have moved forward past these misunderstandings and have come out stronger as result. The stigma that surrounds mental illness is something I am passionate about changing, especially in my future career as a social worker. I want to be a support for others who are drowning in the dark and simply need a kind, helping hand or a listening ear to make it through. I want to be able to share my story with others and help them realize that it is possible to live a fulfilling life, even while having a mental illness. It won't be easy or quick, but with the right supports it is feasible. I believe God has placed me on Earth to use my experiences to shine a light on mental illness and to be an additional aide in reducing the stigma that surrounds mental health. Though I have been through years of emotional pain, feeling unheard by friends, experiencing shifting relationships with loved ones, and struggling to find my purpose, I can say I am content with where my mental illness has brought me in my life thus far. Today, I am finally hopeful for my future and wholeheartedly believe I have the ability to create positive change for those living with mental illness. It has been quite a journey, but I now have the strength to realize that my story is far from over.