Firstly, I would like to thank you all for giving me the opportunity to apply for this scholarship. My name is Ashley, and I am extremely passionate about the fields of math and science. I have always been fascinated by the complexities of numbers and the wonders of the natural world. It is my pleasure to share my thoughts about my goals and aspirations in these fields. I have been a student of math and science all my life, and I have always found them fascinating. My love for the subject has never dwindled, and I know that I want to pursue a career in one of these fields. When it comes to my contributions, I have two main goals – the first being to inspire younger generations to develop a passion for math and science, and the second being to push the boundaries of knowledge in these fields. As I was growing up, I saw very few people from my background pursuing careers in the field of math and science. This lack of representation made me feel like I was an outsider, and I don't want anyone else to feel that way. I want to use my passion for the subject to inspire others to see math and science as accessible fields that offer endless possibilities. As I continue my education, at Post University, I want to use my knowledge and expertise to push the boundaries of what we know about these subjects. I want to contribute to the growing body of research on topics like artificial intelligence, quantum computing, cyber security and neuroscience. These are fields that are rapidly evolving, and I believe that there are limitless possibilities for discovery and innovation. In conclusion, I am excited about the future and the potential for making a difference in the fields of math and science. I believe that my passion, combined with my dedication and hard work, will allow me to contribute meaningfully to the field. I am a 39-year-old mother of two, and I also want to show my girls that they can do anything they set their minds to. Adversity is all around us and no matter what I have been faced with, I have persevered and used my resilience as a tool to rise above any obstacle and go after my dreams, regardless of how out of reach they appeared to be. Thank you for your time and attention.

The most difficult part, for me, is making time for everyone! I feel like I don't get as much quality time with my girls. All my time that isn't spent working goes to homework. It breaks my heart when my 5-year-old wants to snuggle, and I can't because I have a paper due. She is too little to understand, but I know she will someday. I hope I make them both proud. They don't see it now, but I am doing this for them. I want them to have a stable life. I want to have enough money to spoil them and buy a nice house. I want to put them through school and leave enough for them to be financially stable when I leave this world. My babies are the force behind my diligence. I don't think I could do this without them. I want them to see me succeed. I hope they are strong-willed and go after their dreams. I want them to know they can do anything they want. They have seen me struggle, they have seen me fall apart but they won't see me give up. It is important to be a good role model. They're watching me, even when I think they aren't. They give me hope when I feel like I can't go on. I hope that seeing me accomplish this goal will give them the drive to do the same thing. I was never taught the importance of furthering my education. I just tried to get through it. If I had known more, I would have done this years ago, instead of wasting time. I want to be able to provide stability and a future for my children. This is the first step to doing that. I have overcome an addiction to heroin that almost killed me, multiple mental illnesses, multiple abusive relationships, and all sorts of crazy situations throughout my 39 years! I hope that focusing on education will keep them away from that lifestyle. They never knew that side of me, and I'm thankful for that. Someday, I hope they know how much I love them and that everything I've ever done to better myself, has been for them. They don't realize just how much they saved me, but they did. They have driven me to work hard to give them the things I never had. I will always fight for them, even when I feel like I don't have anything else to fight for. Winning this scholarship would be life-changing for my family! I would be able to spend less time at work and more time with them. I wouldn't have to worry about money as much, which is something I stress about all the time! It would be a dream to have some of that burden lifted, so I can focus on the things that matter most to me, and to my baby girls! I can't wait to hang that degree with pride when I graduate with honors. It is so close that I can taste it, and the victory tastes so sweet. I'm thankful that I am resilient and chose to use my broken pieces to build a life they won't have to recover from. I hope they look back and know that my love for them is what got me through the hardest days. They are the reason for my perseverance. They give me strength. They are my “why.”

I have been directly impacted by addiction for my entire life. Both of my parents are alcoholics. I battled a heroin addiction for 12 years. It started after I was in a horrific car accident at the age of 19, and was overprescribed opiates. In 2003 the doctors were still not quite aware of the epidemic that was at their fingertips. After my 3 months in the hospital, I was sent home in a wheelchair. I was in so much pain and I wasn’t given much to get by with and I ended up having to self-medicate to function. I slowly lost myself. I stopped doing things I enjoyed. I stopped enjoying much of anything. I spent way too many years in that darkness until the day I found out I was pregnant with my first daughter. I wanted her so badly, that I gave it up without a second thought. I’d do it a million times over again. When I gave birth to my daughter, there were several complications due to her getting caught on my pelvic bone, aspirating meconium, and having her tiny head dented by the midwife grabbing her in a panic & pulling her out. She still has a thumb-sized dent in her skull, 13 years later. I trusted them. I believed that they knew what was going on. I trusted that they would be honest about what happened, but they weren’t. About an hour after she was delivered and brought to the NICU w a 104° temperature due to sepsis, and a low platelet count, two of the doctors came to my room to tell me that she was having seizures because her brain was swelling. I went to get her dad and we went to the NICU where they denied that rf they came to tell me that and said I must need some sleep. I was furious! Thankfully my roommate heard everything. She ended up having over 300 seizures which caused permanent brain damage. She has cerebral palsy and will have seizures for the rest of her life & needs full-time care. When she was 4 months old, I relapsed. I couldn't handle everything that was happening and I developed PPD. I was a mess and her father and I were on the outs, and I didn't know how to cope with it all and be able to function. I tried to go after the hospital for malpractice, but they had written that her birth injuries were from me smoking marijuana during the 5 weeks before I knew I was pregnant. I know that wasn't the case, but they got away with it. It sunk me even further into my addiction because I felt like I caused it. I fell apart. Her dad and I split up after he assaulted me and she and I moved away. Shortly after that, I decided to seek help. I joined a clinic and built our lives from scratch, while simultaneously rebuilding myself, piece by piece. After 2.5 years, I had weaned off of my medication! I have been clean since April 14, 2014. My daughter is a beautiful 13-year-old young lady and I couldn't be more proud of her! Almost everyone that I used with is dead now, and I feel survivors guilt sometimes. It's been more than ten years with no relapses, and my girls will never know that side of me, and for that I am thankful! Now I am getting my degree to make sure they have opportunities that I didn't. They are my reason why.

I wish I could fit everyone I have lost on one hand. My heart has been shattered numerous times over the past ten years. Four or five of my friends, my brother-in-law, mother-in-law, great-grandmother, both paternal grandparents, two ex-boyfriends, one of which I spent more than four years loving, and sharing a beautiful relationship with, and in January, my family lost our beloved dog after 11 years. He died in my arms. I have reached a point of emotional numbness that doesn't allow me to cry, anymore. With each loss, I wonder why these beautiful people are being ripped from my life. Why is it the brightest of lights that burn out the fastest? It is as if they are consumed by their addictions, worries, and lifestyles until they just fade out, one way or another. Even the ones you would never anticipate, start self-destructing before your very eyes. All the while, they're drowning in the deepest, darkest secrets. I have always been a resilient woman. I have spent most of my life being knocked down and climbing my way up from the bottom. I am ready to do something to make my life a little easier. It may be difficult right now, but I will be so glad I did it when I can worry less about money and do something I enjoy from the comfort of my home. Losing everything and everyone important to me caused me to want to gain something back. I want to show my daughters how to turn pain into productivity, rather than let it tear them apart. Cry it out, and process it, but don't unpack and live there. I turned my grief into a 4.0 GPA. I hope everyone can see me. I hope they're all proud of my hard work. I could have fallen into bad coping mechanisms but I chose to jump into my degree program. I have too many people watching me. I will make them proud of me. I won't quit. My girls will always remember their mom as the fighter she is. They will remember how fierce I become when I am hurt. I hope they learn how to channel their pain into a positive outlet. I want my education to set the example by which my girls will base their own educational goals. Read books, make art, and love with your entire heart because you never know how much time you have left with anyone. Make every moment count. Life is too precious for anything less than beauty.