On December 9th 2020, my life changed forever. I had been struggling to cope with my parent's divorce and bullying at school. I had let things build up until I couldn't handle life anymore. I felt as if there was no way handle the pressure and I attempted suicide. Due to my attempt, I was hospitalized in a locked acute facility for seven days. My attempt was a wake up call for my family. I was coming to the realization that I need help. My mother and I made the decision that I would enter into a residential treatment program. I was so scared entering in to the program. I had to leave my friends, family, and school. It took me a while to acclimate to this new environment. In treatment, I worked hard on my PTSD. This time became very distressing for me. I missed my family. At this time, I was very suicidal. I felt as if there was no purpose for me. Despite all of my fears, I continued to work through my trauma. Things definitely became worse before they became better. The work I did everyday was mentally and physically exhausting. I still felt no improvement. Despite this feeling of hopelessness, I continued to work hard. One day, I felt lighter. I continued to feel lighter. I started to feel the effects of my work. I am proud of myself for having the courage to go to treatment. I worked hard and am better for it. I am grateful that my suicide was just an attempt. Because of my hard work, I have a second chance at life.

I have always struggled with the concept of joy. I have struggled to find joy in my life. This is due to my battle with mental illness. I am diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. During my mental health battle, joy has been hard to come by. I have been in treatment working hard to get better. I have had to leave home to go to residential treatment. Residential treatment helped to show me the little joys in life. I have spent a total of eighteen weeks in residential treatment in 2021. In those eighteen weeks, I missed a lot. I longed for small moments of joy with my family and friends. I realized that the small moments of joy stuck out most to me. Since I have been home, I have cherished moments of joy with my family and friends. One night, my family gathered around the coffee table in our family room. My family is very busy so it is hard for us to find a time to all come together. We played a game called LCR (Left Center Right). It is a very simple game involving dollar pills and a dice with the letters L, C, and R. The games gets intense quickly. Playing this simple game on a random weekday is one of my favorite moments with my family. Because of my treatment, I was able to recognized this simple moment of joy. Joy can be found in simple everyday moments. Small moments of joy have kept me going through hard times.