Aspirations seem unrealistic to a mother, trying to find meaning after the loss of a child. Before June 6, 2019, I undoubtedly would’ve given a different answer to this question. Let’s back up a little here though…. June 6, 2019: Remi Joan Cowan was only 16 weeks old. She was perfect in every way, yet tragically removed from my life, unexpectedly, while in the care of a babysitter. Although I clung to my faith and hope in the Lord, Remi was pronounced dead at 10:21 am on June 7, due to cardiac arrest as a result of cerebral hypoxia. Remi’s death is a result of asphyxiation after the babysitter decided to nap with her. While sitting next to Remi’s tombstone, I vividly remember the pain penetrating throughout my body. Eventually, I began walking around the cemetery, reading names and biblical scripture on the monuments. I noticed temporary memorial grave markers on countless plots and noted the dates... 1993, 1989, 1918, some too damaged to read. There I stood, numb, approximately 250 yards away from where my sweet Remi’s body lies, wondering how I could ensure I fulfilled the Lord’s purpose for my daughter’s short life here. I felt an overwhelming sense of appreciation for the outpour of support from the community after Remi’s passing. I wouldn’t have had the privilege of honoring Remi as desired if it weren’t for their generosity. I founded a non-profit organization called Remi’s Purpose, Inc. Remi's Purpose provides financial assistance and intervention support to family and friends of departed loved ones in negotiating their final arrangements and expenses. My goal is to grow Remi’s Purpose and make a positive impact in assisting bereaved loved ones with burial costs. Grief is a personal journey, but when shared with others it seems a little lighter.

A bereaved mother, trying to navigate life, and find meaning after the loss of a child: that is me…. It was June 6, 2019, when my tragic nightmare began: Remi Joan Cowan was only 16 weeks old. She was perfect in every way, yet tragically removed from my life, unexpectedly, while in the care of a babysitter. Although I clung to my faith and hope in the Lord, Remi’s body temperature kept decreasing, her organs were failing, and a scan of her head revealed no brain activity. Remi was pronounced dead at 10:21 am on June 7, 2019, due to cardiac arrest as a result of cerebral hypoxia (lack of oxygen). Remi’s death is believed to be a result of asphyxiation. While sitting next to Remi’s tombstone after her passing, I remember tears flowing down my face and the pain penetrating throughout my body. I recall standing up and looking around the cemetery thinking, “What is my purpose for this life?” Eventually, I found myself walking around the cemetery, reading names and biblical scripture on the monuments. I noticed temporary memorial grave markers on countless plots and started to note the dates... 1993, 1997, 1989, 1918, and some were too damaged and faded to read. Funeral costs are not something many of us plan for until later in life. But, when it is our time to leave this world, we won’t be late for that appointment. Assistance with funeral costs is very limited. Sadly, many bodies end up in mass burial sites, without identification, next to heaping piles of trash or stored inside funeral homes as if they never existed due to the inability to cover costs. .... So, there I stood, numb, in the middle of that cemetery approximately 250 yards away from where my sweet Remi Joan’s body lies, wondering how I could ensure I fulfilled the Lord’s purpose for my daughter’s short life here on earth.... I remember taking pictures of many temporary markers, longing to put a permanent monument on every plot to honor each human. At that moment, I felt an overwhelming sense of appreciation for the outpour of love and support from the community after Remi’s passing. I know I would not have had the privilege of honoring Remi as desired if it were not for the generosity of so many people. My struggle and agony of losing my sweet Remi has ripped my flesh apart, but it has also placed me in a new light. Grief is a personal journey, but when shared with others it seems a little lighter. Therefore, I founded a non-profit organization called Remi’s Purpose, Inc. Remi's Purpose provides financial assistance and intervention support to family and friends of departed loved ones in negotiating their final arrangements and expenses. Such arrangements may include but are not limited to, funeral costs, caskets, memorials, and cremation services. With my degree, I plan to grow Remi’s Purpose and continue to make a positive impact throughout the world in assisting bereaved loved ones.

My struggle and agony of losing my sweet daughter has ripped my flesh apart, but it has also placed me in a new light. Grief is a personal journey, but when shared with others it seems a little lighter. Therefore, I have established a non-profit organization called Remi’s Purpose, Inc.. Remi’s Purpose has become my purpose and future as it brings me joy and hopefully, fulfills the Lord's calling for me. It was June 6, 2019, when our tragic nightmare began: Remi Joan Cowan was only 16 weeks old. She was perfect in every way, pure and innocent, yet tragically removed from our life, unexpectedly, while in the care of a babysitter. Although I clung to my faith and hope in the Lord, Remi’s body temperature kept decreasing, her organs were failing, and a scan of her head revealed there was no brain activity. Remi was pronounced dead at 10:21 am on June 7, 2019, due to cardiac arrest as a result of cerebral hypoxia (lack of oxygen). Remi’s death is believed to be a result of asphyxiation. While sitting next to Remi’s tombstone after her passing, I remember tears flowing down my face and the pain penetrating throughout my entire body. I recall standing up and looking around the cemetery thinking, “This cannot be the end. What is my purpose for this life?” Eventually, I found myself walking around the Montoursville Cemetery, reading names and biblical scripture on the monuments. I noticed temporary memorial grave markers on countless plots. I began to note the dates on the markers... 1993, 1997, 1989, 1918, and some were too damaged and faded to read. Funeral costs are not something many of us plan for until retirement or even later in life. But, when it is our time to leave this world, we won’t be late for that appointment. Sadly, many bodies end up in mass burial sites, without identification, next to heaping piles of trash or stored inside funeral homes as if they never existed due to the inability to cover costs. So, there I stood, numb, in the middle of that cemetery approximately 250 yards away from where my sweet Remi Joan’s body lies, wondering how I could ensure I fulfilled the Lord’s purpose for my daughter’s short life here on earth. I can’t recall if I was walking away from that children’s section or driving out of the cemetery, but I remember taking pictures of many temporary markers, desperately wanting to put a permanent monument on every plot to honor each human properly. It was at that moment I felt an overwhelming sense of appreciation for the outpour of support from the community after Remi’s passing. I know we would not have had the privilege of honoring Remi the way we desired if it were not for the generosity of so many people. Remi's Purpose, Inc. was founded to provide community service by providing financial assistance and intervention support to family and friends of departed loved ones in negotiating their final arrangements and expenses. The death of my daughter has changed my life, forever. I pray I am awarded this scholarship and can continue my education. Ten years from now, I pray Remi’s Purpose has impacted many lives around the world and spread the Lord’s love to all.

Grief is a personal journey, but when shared with others it seems a little lighter. Being awarded this scholarship will allow me the opportunity to finish my graduate degree and in turn, fulfill my goal with Remi’s Purpose, Inc. Finding meaning after the loss of a child is a challenge as my purpose seems irrelevant when compared to the suffering. I know this will bring me fulfillment as it allows me to keep my sweet daughters’ memory alive while working for the Lord to someday be reunited with Remi. It was June 6, 2019, when my tragic nightmare began: Remi Joan Cowan was only 16 weeks old. She was perfect in every way, pure and innocent, yet tragically removed from our life, unexpectedly, while in the care of a babysitter. Although I clung to my faith and hope in the Lord, Remi’s body temperature kept decreasing, her organs were failing, and a scan of her head revealed there was no brain activity. Remi was pronounced dead at 10:21 am on June 7, 2019, due to cardiac arrest as a result of cerebral hypoxia (lack of oxygen). Remi’s death is believed to be a result of asphyxiation. While sitting next to Remi’s tombstone after her passing, I remember tears flowing down my face and the pain penetrating throughout my entire body. I recall standing up and looking around the cemetery thinking, “This cannot be the end. What is my purpose for this life?” Eventually, I found myself walking around the Montoursville Cemetery, reading names and biblical scripture on the monuments. I noticed temporary memorial grave markers on countless plots. I began to note the dates on the markers... 1993, 1997, 1989, 1918, and some were too damaged and faded to read. Funeral costs are not something many of us plan for until retirement or even later in life. But, when it is our time to leave this world, we won’t be late for that appointment. Assistance with funeral costs is very limited. Sadly, many bodies end up in mass burial sites, without identification, next to heaping piles of trash or stored inside funeral homes as if they never existed due to the inability to cover costs. .... So, there I stood, numb, in the middle of that cemetery approximately 250 yards away from where my sweet Remi Joan’s body lies, wondering how I could ensure I fulfilled the Lord’s purpose for my daughter’s short life here on earth.... I can’t recall if I was walking away from that children’s section or driving out of the cemetery, but I remember taking pictures of many temporary markers, desperately wanting to put a permanent monument on every plot to honor each human properly. It was at that moment I felt an overwhelming sense of appreciation for the outpour of love and support from the community after Remi’s passing. I know we would not have had the privilege of honoring Remi the way we desired if it were not for the generosity of so many people. Remi's Purpose, Inc. was founded to provide community service by providing financial assistance and intervention support to family and friends of departed loved ones in negotiating their final arrangements and expenses. Such arrangements may include but are not limited to, funeral costs, caskets, memorials, internments, and cremation services. My struggle and agony of losing my sweet Remi has ripped my flesh apart, but it has also placed me in a new light. My struggle and agony of losing my sweet Remi has ripped my flesh apart, but it has also placed me in a new light.

On June 6, 2019, I dropped my youngest daughters, Cali and Remi off at the babysitter’s house and went to work. I received a call at 3:58 pm (from the sitter) which I didn’t initially answer, however, returned the call four minutes later at 4:02 pm. When the sitter answered the phone all I could hear was, “And she was purple, she was purple!” I just knew: somehow I knew she was talking about Remi. I ran out of work and down the street and then realized I needed my car and ran back for it. I pulled out of work and was almost side-swiped by several vehicles as I maneuvered through traffic. When I arrived at the babysitter’s house, the ambulance was pulling off, so I followed them to the hospital once near I jumped out of my vehicle and ran to the back of the ambulance where I witnessed several EMTs around Remi, one specifically giving her CPR. The vision of seeing my LIFELESS child with her arms hanging out to her sides is the most agonizing and debilitating sight I have ever witnessed: it haunts me. As she was taken into the emergency room I was escorted into a separate room slightly down and across from the room Remi was in. As I walked by the room Remi was in, I remember begging the nurses and doctors, “Please, help her, please! That’s my baby!” Eventually, they were able to get a heartbeat and Remi was life-flighted to Geisinger Medical Center. I can remember thinking and praying to God, “Please don’t let her be a vegetable.” I didn’t want that for my child, no one would. I had envisioned her life to be so much more than all parents do. Remi was quickly taken into the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit. After trying to stabilize Remi, my family and I were allowed in the room with her. One specialist informed me that Remi’s organs were failing. I just held her hand and told her how much I love her. Her body continued to become colder and colder. I knew there wasn't a single chance she’d return, but the Lord was giving us time to accept what couldn’t be changed and say goodbye. The hospital allowed us to spend the night with her. Around 9 a.m. on June 7, 2019, we were informed Remi was only sustaining life because of the machines. Her organs had all failed by this point and she had no brain activity. We had no choice but to stop the machines and accept that the Lord somehow had “better” plans for her. At 10:21 a.m. on June 7, 2019, my sweet and precious daughter, Remi Joan Cowan, was pronounced dead. I was stooped over in the chair right next to them, holding onto my Remi and husband as the tubes were removed. The unexpected loss of my sweet Remi Joan Cowan, while in the care of a babysitter has forever changed my life. I can honestly say losing a child is truly the loneliest and most desolate journey anyone could endure. It’s a battle trying to balance the pain and suffering of outliving my daughter. The future envisioned for Remi is no longer possible to achieve and therefore, establishing a new commitment to living is necessary. For that reason, I have decided to continue with school to achieve my doctoral degree in health care administration. I know this will bring me fulfillment as it allows me to keep my sweet daughters’ memory alive while working for the Lord to someday be reunited with Remi.

It was June 6, 2019, when our tragic nightmare began: Remi Joan Cowan was only 16 weeks old. She was perfect in every way, pure and innocent, yet tragically removed from our life, unexpectedly, while in the care of a babysitter. Although I clung to my faith and hope in the Lord, Remi’s body temperature kept decreasing, her organs were failing, and a scan of her head revealed there was no brain activity. Remi was pronounced dead at 10:21 a.m. on June 7, 2019, due to cardiac arrest as a result of cerebral hypoxia (lack of oxygen). Remi’s death is believed to be a result of asphyxiation. While sitting next to Remi’s tombstone after her passing, I remember tears flowing down my face and the pain penetrating throughout my entire body. I recall standing up and looking around the cemetery thinking, “This cannot be the end. What is my purpose for this life?” Eventually, I found myself walking around the Montoursville Cemetery, reading names and biblical scripture on the monuments. I noticed temporary memorial grave markers on countless plots. I began to note the dates on the markers... 1993, 1997, 1989, 1918, and some were too damaged and faded to read. Funeral costs are not something many of us plan for until retirement or even later in life. But, when it is our time to leave this world, we won’t be late for that appointment. Assistance with funeral costs is very limited. Approximately fifteen states offer some kind of assistance to help fund funeral costs; however, it's a very minimal amount. Sadly, many bodies end up in mass burial sites, without identification, next to heaping piles of trash or stored inside funeral homes as if they never existed due to the inability to cover costs. ....So, there I stood, numb, in the middle of that cemetery approximately 250 yards away from where my sweet Remi Joan’s body lies, wondering how I could ensure I fulfilled the Lord’s purpose for my daughter’s short life here on earth..... I can’t recall if I was walking away from that children’s section or driving out of the cemetery, but I remember taking pictures of many temporary markers, desperately wanting to put a permanent monument on every plot to honor each human properly. It was at that moment I felt an overwhelming sense of appreciation for the outpour of love and support from the community after Remi’s passing. I know we would not have had the privilege of honoring Remi the way we desired if it were not for the generosity of so many people. Remi's Purpose, Inc. was founded to provide community service by providing financial assistance and intervention support to family and friends of departed loved ones in negotiating their final arrangements and expenses. Such arrangements may include but are not limited to, funeral costs, caskets, memorials, internments and cremation services. My struggle and agony of losing my sweet Remi has ripped my flesh apart, but it has also placed me in a new light. Finding meaning after the loss of a child is a challenge as my purpose seems irrelevant when compared to the suffering. Grief is a personal journey, but when shared with others it seems a little lighter. Remi’s Purpose, Inc. has become my purpose and future. Achieving my graduate degree will assist me in successfully operating the organization. I know this will bring me fulfillment as it allows me to keep my sweet daughters’ memory alive while working for the Lord to someday be reunited with Remi.

Grief is a personal journey, but when shared with others it seems a little lighter which is why my dream version of my future self revolves centers around Remi’s Purpose, Inc. and spreading the Lord’s word in order to grow His Kingdom.

My name is Ashley Cowan. I am a mother of three beautiful daughters, one who resides in heaven….she and the Lord are the driving forces to me furthering my education in the healthcare field. It was June 6, 2019, when our tragic nightmare began: Remi Joan Cowan was only 16 weeks old. She was perfect in every way, pure and innocent, yet tragically removed from our life, unexpectedly, while in the care of a babysitter. Although I clung to my faith and hope in the Lord, Remi’s body temperature kept decreasing, her organs were failing, and a scan of her head revealed there was no brain activity. Remi was pronounced dead at 10:21 am on June 7, 2019, due to cardiac arrest as a result of cerebral hypoxia (lack of oxygen). Remi’s death is believed to be a result of asphyxiation. While sitting next to Remi’s tombstone after her passing, I remember tears flowing down my face and the pain penetrating throughout my entire body. I recall standing up and looking around the cemetery thinking, “This cannot be the end. What is my purpose for this life?” Eventually, I found myself walking around the Montoursville Cemetery, reading names and biblical scripture on the monuments. I noticed temporary memorial grave markers on countless plots. I began to note the dates on the markers... 1993, 1997, 1989, 1918, and some were too damaged and faded to read. Funeral costs are not something many of us plan for until retirement or later in life. But, when it is our time to leave this world, we won’t be late. Sadly, many bodies end up in mass burial sites, without identification, next to heaping piles of trash or stored inside funeral homes as if they never existed due to the inability to cover costs. So, there I stood, numb, in the middle of that cemetery approximately 250 yards away from where my sweet Remi Joan’s body lies, wondering how I could ensure I fulfilled the Lord’s purpose for my daughter’s short life here on earth. I can’t recall if I was walking away from that children’s section or driving out of the cemetery, but I remember taking pictures of many temporary markers, desperately wanting to put a permanent monument on every plot to honor each human properly. It was at that moment I felt an overwhelming sense of appreciation for the outpour of support from the community after Remi’s passing. I know we would not have had the privilege of honoring Remi the way we desired if it was not for the generosity of so many people. Remi's Purpose, Inc. was founded to provide community service by providing financial assistance and intervention support to family and friends of departed loved ones in negotiating their final arrangements and expenses. My struggle and agony of losing my sweet Remi has ripped my flesh apart, but it has also placed me in a new light. Grief is a personal journey, but when shared with others it seems a little lighter. Remi’s Purpose has become my purpose and future as it brings me joy and hopefully, fulfills the Lord's calling for me. Juggling school has been financially challenging. Currently, I am unable to register for classes due to an outstanding balance. I pray I am awarded this scholarship and can continue my education. Ten years from now, I pray Remi’s Purpose has impacted many lives around the world and spread the Lord’s love to all. I believe it will help many bereaved individuals throughout the business community with honoring their loved ones.

My name is Ashley Cowan and I am a mother of three beautiful daughters, one who resides in heaven….she and the Lord are the driving forces to me furthering my education in the healthcare field. It was June 6, 2019, when our tragic nightmare began: Remi Joan Cowan was only 16 weeks old. She was perfect in every way, pure and innocent, yet tragically removed from our life, unexpectedly, while in the care of a babysitter. Although I clung to my faith and hope in the Lord, Remi’s body temperature kept decreasing, her organs were failing, and a scan of her head revealed there was no brain activity. Remi was pronounced dead at 10:21 am on June 7, 2019, due to cardiac arrest as a result of cerebral hypoxia (lack of oxygen). Remi’s death is believed to be a result of asphyxiation. While sitting next to Remi’s tombstone after her passing, I remember tears flowing down my face and the pain penetrating throughout my entire body. I recall standing up and looking around the cemetery thinking, “This cannot be the end. What is my purpose for this life?” Eventually, I found myself walking around the Montoursville Cemetery, reading names and biblical scripture on the monuments. I noticed temporary memorial grave markers on countless plots. I began to note the dates on the markers... 1993, 1997, 1989, 1918, and some were too damaged and faded to read. Funeral costs are not something many of us plan for until retirement or even later in life. But, when it is our time to leave this world, we won’t be late for that appointment. Sadly, many bodies end up in mass burial sites, without identification, next to heaping piles of trash or stored inside funeral homes as if they never existed due to the inability to cover costs. So, there I stood, numb, in the middle of that cemetery approximately 250 yards away from where my sweet Remi Joan’s body lies, wondering how I could ensure I fulfilled the Lord’s purpose for my daughter’s short life here on earth. I can’t recall if I was walking away from that children’s section or driving out of the cemetery, but I remember taking pictures of many temporary markers, desperately wanting to put a permanent monument on every plot to honor each human properly. It was at that moment I felt an overwhelming sense of appreciation for the outpour of support from the community after Remi’s passing. I know we would not have had the privilege of honoring Remi the way we desired if it was not for the generosity of so many people. Remi's Purpose, Inc. was founded to provide community service by providing financial assistance and intervention support to family and friends of departed loved ones in negotiating their final arrangements and expenses. My struggle and agony of losing my sweet Remi has ripped my flesh apart, but it has also placed me in a new light. Grief is a personal journey, but when shared with others it seems a little lighter which is why I chose this career path. Remi’s Purpose, Inc. has become my purpose and future as it brings me joy and hopefully, fulfills the Lord's calling for me. Juggling school has been financially challenging. Currently, I am unable to register for classes due to a balance on my account and winning this scholarship allow me to finish my degree.

The Lord and Remi are my driving force which have prompted me to return to school and advance my knowledge and education…. It was June 6, 2019, when our tragic nightmare began: Remi Joan Cowan was only 16 weeks old. She was perfect in every way, pure and innocent, yet tragically removed from our life, unexpectedly, while in the care of a babysitter. Although I clung to my faith and hope in the Lord, Remi’s body temperature kept decreasing, her organs were failing, and a scan of her head revealed there was no brain activity. Remi was pronounced dead at 10:21 am on June 7, 2019, due to cardiac arrest as a result of cerebral hypoxia (lack of oxygen). Remi’s death is believed to be a result of asphyxiation. While sitting next to Remi’s tombstone after her passing, I remember tears flowing down my face and the pain penetrating throughout my entire body. I recall standing up and looking around the cemetery thinking, “This cannot be the end. What is my purpose for this life?” Eventually, I found myself walking around the Montoursville Cemetery, reading names and biblical scripture on the monuments. I noticed temporary memorial grave markers on countless plots. I began to note the dates on the markers... 1993, 1997, 1989, 1918, and some too damaged and faded to read. Funeral costs are not something many of us plan for until retirement or even later in life. But, when it is our time to leave this world, we won’t be late for that appointment. Sadly, many bodies end up in mass burial sites, without identification, next to heaping piles of trash or stored inside funeral homes as if they never existed due to the inability to cover costs. So, there I stood, numb, in the middle of that cemetery approximately 250 yards away from where my sweet Remi Joan’s body lies, wondering how I could ensure I fulfilled the Lord’s purpose for my daughter’s short life here on earth. I can’t recall if I was walking away from that children’s section or driving out of the cemetery, but I remember taking pictures of many temporary markers, desperately wanting to put a permanent monument on every plot to honor each human properly. It was at that moment I felt an overwhelming sense of appreciation for the outpour of support from the community after Remi’s passing. I know we would not have had the privilege of honoring Remi the way we desired if it was not for the generosity of so many people. Remi's Purpose, Inc. was founded to provide a community service by providing financial assistance and intervention support to family and friends of departed loved ones in negotiating their final arrangements and expenses. My struggle and agony of losing my sweet Remi has ripped my flesh apart, but it has also placed me in a new light. Grief is a personal journey, but when shared with others it seems a little lighter which is why I chose this career path. Remi’s Purpose, Inc. has become my purpose and future as it brings me joy and hopefully, fulfills the Lords calling for me. Juggling school has been financially challenging. Currently, I am unable to register for classes due to a balance on my account and winning this scholarship allow me to finish my degree.