Schools from their inception have been established on the precedent that they'd be an institution to facilitate intellectual growth. One's education is often seen as validated or actualized through their degrees or academic achievements. While school in general may be seen as a means to learn, the acquisition and application of knowledge remain two entirely separate objects that people often conflate together as the same thing. Some of humanity's most profound insights were those that were unique and integral in nature, but school simply doesn't promote that sort of creative liberty. Some challenges that I have had to overcome while pursuing my education lie in the motives and instruction techniques of teachers, as well as crippling imposter syndrome. Teachers, from my experience, had provided a rigid structure, which relied on completing a process in one rehearsed set of steps. It had to be done "their way," but the problem is that their methods of instruction were devoid of creativity. For someone who relied on intuition, I would not have been able to substantiate how I found the correct answer in math class; it wasn't that I found the answer, the answer found me. Another example would be academic writing, because the school took an inherently subjective course and assigned its students to write within very marginalized conditions that would deprive one of freedom with their literary expression. In school, the pacing of courses seemed redundant, as we often would go over the subject matter being taught to ensure the entire class grasped the subject. However, to pretend everyone learns at the same pace is to ignore a ubiquitous fact of life, not everyone is equal. What the teachers appeared to be doing on the surface was catering to the collective student body by attempting to instill an equal understanding; in reality, they tried to bring the classes to an acceptable level of understanding so that standardized test scores would enable the school to get access to funds. Teachers also did not teach critical thinking, so when students were asked to produce original work or apply what they knew, many could not beyond the confines of academic aptitude. The word talent was another struggle in my academic journey. From a young age, whether through intellectual aptitude tests or performance in class, instructors would use the words "exceptionally gifted" or some variant to describe me. The issue with this is the associated demands attached to the word. In my case, the lack of a challenge from not having to put forth effort to excel in school made it seem as if I had to uphold this status quo. Compliments became double sided, they meant I was capable, but on the other hand placed the expectation upon me that if I failed, it would somehow be disappointing. Expectation created pressure to excel, succeed, and win. This narrative of if others caught up, it somehow meant I was failing overtook me; but rather than studying to widen the gap, I made it my business to always be the first to complete tests but I openly did not study, and inadvertently stunted my own growth by achieving without studying what my peers did with it. Through my STEM education, I would like to assist similarly gifted students through a path where they don't reject their potential. In my instance, I tried to stand at the top while rejecting useful habits I saw as a crutch, which would have made it easier to succeed. I wish to teach students the benefits of mnemonic techniques, such as the method of loci, and to popularize the Feynman technique.

The aforementioned quote reminds me of the dissociative figure that social media and online interaction as a whole has been on society. The anonymity of a figure behind a screen offers the user a sense of peace and allows them to act beyond typical conventions. Online gaming forums appear to be an excellent medium for socialization, due to people being able to represent themselves in ways they otherwise could not. Online the person is no longer bound to behave a certain way nor conform to the identity nor the roles associated by said identity. However, the person behind the screen forgets that this persona they create isn't them, or rather it is another mask one dawns given the newly provided circumstances. The truth is, we've become too dependent on our constructed perception; now that we're in an age of disinformation, adolescents are being led on by contrived narratives and try to attain unrealistic standards rather than embracing their own characteristics. We've all heard the proverb that too much of a good thing is bad, but in today's society, the effects of such are seldom more evident than when discussing our modern code switching. Typically, conformity results in sanctions through the form of praise; however, praise comes with expectation, which promotes a pressure to meet, satisfy, and abide by this constructed social routine we place ourselves in. People begin wearing masks while attempting to assimilate to a norm, and one is likely to reveal their true nature when they no longer feel the need to conform to encumbered standards. Online gaming forums become the medium by which one is allowed to be themself with less fear of scrutiny and retribution for not conforming. The sociologist Horton Cooley and his “Looking-Glass Self" theory explains that we begin to see in ourselves what others see in us. As we start to fulfill expectations and mold ourselves around who others think we should be, we too begin to build our understanding of self off the perception others have on us. The process imbricates itself; the role expectation perpetuates the role performance, and said performance recontextualizes the expectations given. Whether in the chatroom or in person, because we alter how we view ourselves from how others view us, we become concerned with the impressions we leave on certain people and then create new facades to satiate these new expectations. From personal experience, I have noticed friends become more vulgar and confident when we play games online together due to the dissociation the game offers, if not to me, than especially towards the opposing teams we play against. The difference in interaction lies in the fact that real-life culture can cause one to be shamed, punished, or shunned for displaying deviant behaviors, whereas online, such traits are enabled, encouraged, and made to seem humorous. The effects of online gaming forums have been an decrease in socializing ability and an atmosphere where youth keep to themselves all while burrowed into what happenings of their games.