My father named me, Arinze which translates to "mercy of God." Most people call me by my middle name Covy. I'm a Nigerian first-generation college student at Bellarmine University in Louisville, KY, dedicated to music and persevering through whatever hardships come my way. I'm currently a member of the Black Student Union (formerly VP and Secretary), Omicron Delta Kappa Honor Society, the BU Investment Group, a Bellarmine Impact Crew Social Media Influencer, and a peer mentor for Pioneer Scholars, a mentorship program for first-gen, first-year students. Recently I've been nominated to serve as a member of the 2022-2023 Bellarmine Society, which is a select group of senior leaders who have contributed to the fabric of the Bellarmine University community. Being a student in college has taught me that I should never take opportunities for granted, whether they are leadership opportunities, volunteering, or internships. Considering opportunities presented to me, but also prioritizing a healthy balance and my mental health has given me a mindset I think has helped me navigate these couple of years. Last semester, I was an Audio/Video Production intern for my university assisting with live events on campus while balancing a second internship with the online music marketplace, BeatStars.com. Both of them allowed me to gain hands-on experience outside of what I do on my own, knowledge about the music industry, music publishing, and different future job/career opportunities. These experiences have allowed me to step outside of my comfort zone and network with industry professionals and peers with similar goals. I was also recently accepted into the Disney College Program for the summertime where I have the opportunity to work at Walt Disney World in Orlando, FL, learn networking and career tips from professionals in the company and meet students from all around the country. For Spring Break this year I had the opportunity of co-leading an Alternative Spring Break (ASB) trip in my hometown of Louisville where our social justice topic and focus was Race Relations/Racial Justice. We partnered with several nonprofits and organizations who offered ways we could support them in serving the community. I learned so much about my city of Louisville that I didn't know before and what non-profits and organizations like Louisville Urban League (LUL), St. George's Scholar Institute, Academy of Music Production Education and Development (AMPED), La Casita Center, and Russell Place of Promise (RPOP) Cities United are tackling issues that impact marginalized communities and neighborhoods in West Louisville. It was a very memorable experience that has inspired me to find more ways to become selfless in my approach to defining success and helping my community.  As a rising senior, my experiences leading up to now have shaped some of my goals for the future. A few of these consist of continuing to network and collaborate with the people I've met and developing my sound, portfolio, entrepreneurial acumen, and working as an industry professional in music environments such as venues, recording studios, and production companies across the country. What I will do with the money I'll save by paying down my student loans is invest in my music career. I'll save for a decent car for multiple reasons with the obvious being easier transportation but also for easy access to test the mixes of my recordings and production in a car stereo setting and different speaker quality whenever I choose. I'll also buy the recording equipment and home studio acoustic treatment I've been eyeing for a while that would help me to become closer to pursuing the goal of diving further into entrepreneurial work with professional-sounding material and skills I can market.

When it comes to hobbies, most of mine have been involved with the arts in one way or another. Music has my heart but I also enjoy things like film and animation. While I’m not a filmmaker or an animator, my appreciation of the artforms has developed into one of my favorite things to do and what I would consider a hobby of mine. Over the last few years, I’ve really enjoyed watching youtube videos that specifically analyze the childhood movies I grew up watching, from a philosophical or psychological point of view. While mostly intended for children, plenty of animated movies have subject matter and various meanings that can quickly go over a child’s head or simply are just not interesting enough for them to care about or digest because they can’t relate to it in their stage in life. But these movies and shows can sometimes be what spark that curiosity to understand the production in a unique way and under the surface. They allow me to reconnect with a part of me that I felt slowly had to disappear as I grew up. They connect my more unabashed inner child with my mature, critical thinking adult self. How many children in elementary have the maturity to understand the emotional depth of Shrek through a more psychological perspective or comprehend the representation of social anxiety in Charlie Brown, for example. Not to mention the fact that many adults likely couldn’t explain it themselves without a great awareness and understanding of mental health, which has a stigma that only now seems to be being addressed properly as it should be. I don’t know many opportunities where this is possible, at least from my perspective, when as we get older we have more responsibilities and expectations internally and externally of how we should act and contain ourselves, our problems, imagination, and our interests. There are many YouTubers I can rely on to help me think critically about something and offer different perspectives such as Made2Express, Nerdstalgic, Schaffrillas Productions, and plenty more who go in detail about these heavy subjects hidden within lighthearted and playful movies. As kids, we’re smart enough to catch on to things but I’m not sure if it has enough lasting power as it would with better judgment and life experience that have deep and mature messages. Take the Pixar movie Soul, for example. A major theme that the creators tried to convey was death. The message will definitely have a different impression on a six-year-old than his forty-year-old parents, who have been to funerals and relate to it differently. These videos offer perspectives that I really enjoy considering and keep me motivated to always stay imaginative and think critically. They showcase the beauty of life and the need for the arts.

Nobody knows me like my mother, and dare I say it, nobody knows her as I do. We know how to annoy each other, and just what to say to make each other laugh and smile. It is an unconditional love that comes naturally. As I continue to grow into the young adult I am today, I have my mother to thank for helping to cultivate my relationship with God. I’ve always known her to be selfless, from the time she’d pick me up from after school childcare programs after work and drive forty-five minutes home to when she was laid off from the same job but ensured that I never missed a meal and had a roof over my head as a single mother. I may not have recognized it when I was younger but I realize now that my mother’s faith is what kept her going. We had our low moments at times but my mother always would remind me that with faith in the lord, whatever we go through shall pass and to always count our blessings. She did the best she could to provide me with my basic needs of course but she made sure to provide happy moments as well. I remember days when she’d search for job applications on her computer that took forever to load. She’d let me sit on her lap while she played a variety of songs from YouTube but the song that stuck out the most was “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” by Bobby McFerrin. We would sing every word together without a care in the world. “Don’t worry, be happy,” she would say to me and I would sing it back, through the good days and the bad. Although it may not be a gospel necessarily, the message still resonates with me today with the same poise, and I’ve attributed God not only for memories with my mother like that but the wisdom within the song that helped to strengthen my faith in Christ. What I appreciate about my mother when it comes to faith and how she raised me to become who I am today is that she always allowed me to strengthen my faith with God without judgment and from a place of love. If I was confused or doubtful, instead of bashing or discouraging my curiosity, she would explain it in ways I could understand or teach me the word of God through her actions in a gentle and welcoming manner. Whenever I come to her with anything I’m going through, she reminds me to pray about it. On the darkest days, when my faith is thin and I’ve neglected my beliefs, it’s more than often the reminder I need that helps me to refocus and start to return to my full and best self to live through Christ. These are just a fraction of the infinite ways that my mother has positively impacted me and been instrumental in helping me to become who I am today. I can confidently say that I’ve been able to find God’s love through my mother and her love for the Lord. As I continue to grow and learn, this is still the case and I wouldn’t change a thing. She never fails to inspire me with her wisdom, selflessness, and faith. In the Bible, Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it,” and if its any indication of the way my mother has raised me, I believe I’m on the right path.

A quote that has stuck with me since childhood is "pain is temporary." In different contexts, it might seem like a snarky remark like "get over it," "sticks and stones..." or something a football coach might tell his team to keep giving their all but time and time again I've found it to be true after going through the most challenging events of my life. Although I don't remember a specific "when" and "why" it was first told to me, I know that my mother is who put it into my head. As a child, it just seemed like an attempt to silence me or whatever I was feeling but it has become a quote that representation of my faith in many ways. Pain is something that everyone goes through indefinitely whether it's physical, mental, emotional and the list goes on. Much like everyone else I’ve had my share of all three. I thought the worst pain I’d ever gone through was fracturing my big toe. Regardless of how I felt enduring the pain, I got through it. After that, it was a pilonidal cyst that was excruciating and still embarrassing to talk about, but I got through it. Then there was high school. Those four years really tested me as I struggled with my anxiety disorder. There were plenty of lonely, dark thoughts that I rarely knew how to express in positive, healthy ways but in the darkest days I held on to what my mama always told me: “pain is temporary.” It’s what helped me get that diploma when I just wanted to quit. It makes me think about life from a different perspective. Even as bittersweet as it was for me to accept that my great-grandmother is no longer here with us, I know that she is no longer suffering from dementia and is at peace. Finally, the quote is what is still giving me the power to continue higher education through the pandemic. As many of us are trying to create a sense of normalcy by going back to in-person classes or work, it is what’s helping me now to not only stay motivated but confident when I feel even more standoffish or reluctant to socialize with people I haven’t seen in more than a year. Throughout my life, I have lived by these wise words even when I’ve failed to realize their true power. It is special to me because it serves as a reminder to never allow myself to get too low and to appreciate the fact that I’m capable of getting through the toughest situations through faith in myself and faith in God, no matter how much pain I endure, physically or mentally. I believe that life can be full of highs and plenty of lows but getting past them helps us appreciate the highs even more, reminding us that "pain is temporary."

Growing up in a single-parent household for most of my life produced a young adolescent full of curiosity about the world and the people in it, but more specifically the people around him. To avoid an idle mind, I found a love for music and video games after school, while my mother worked her nine to five. But with that time to myself, I'd often question why things were the way they were in my life. I am a first-generation, only child (therefore the first- and only born), and the oldest cousin to two more only-children whose childhoods relyed on their single mothers until recently. My grandmother who never finished high school had three daughters, who in total raised three children, all with distant or uninvolved fathers. We're a very close-knit family, so the lack of support that'd come from a two-parent household often made up in the bond we had with each other. But there are some things that boys and even girls must learn from a male figure. There is a balance within the "nuclear family" that both of my cousins and I have seldom experienced. There weren't any male figures we could learn from because the ones we had were deceased, poor influences, or just as distant as our fathers and it made a very strange but unique family dynamic growing up. My cousins and I are like siblings. We mostly went to the same after school programs, schools and for a significant amount of time, lived in the same apartment complex but there were still limitations and barriers that we encountered being related as cousins like being separated at times when our parents decided to move and we had to go to different schools. With that, came isolation and not having that brother or sister by my side all the time to play with and just have fun. Since I am the oldest, I have always put pressure on myself to be a role model for both of my cousins, only to realize that my knowledge is limited because no one taught me what I wish I could teach them. Consequently, I can say for me, growing up has been a constant battle of trying to gain the wisdom needed for a man and a black man to thrive in this world. Now that I’m in college, I’d say the same goes for my experience as a first-generation student even more. Music has always played a major role in understanding my own emotions, thoughts, and how to navigate life. I've always gravitated towards artists who speak on topics I deeply resonate with music serving as the canvas for them to express what they are going through which is one of the reasons why I am want to do the same and pursue a music production career through higher education. College has taught me that I have even more to learn, being exposed to people with different backgrounds and privileges not only through race but class and being from a college-educated family, therefore being more aware of how to navigate higher education, campus life, student loans, college stress, internships and financial aid in general. Imposter syndrome has been what I’ve described as a large part of my experience, often being the outcast in my classes (online and in-person) and most areas on campus besides ones that don’t claim to “promote diversity.” Along with that, not having the financial backing that would’ve likely come if my upbringing reflected a more traditional family of two parents with a better understanding of financial literacy and foresight earlier in my life has made my investment into education a much harder process strategizing how to pay for it, relying on student loans, part-time jobs and taking the time to apply for scholarships outside of my course workload. I've also come to the harsh realization that the odds are stacked against black students in ways I didn’t necessarily expect such as representation within counseling services in particular. My anxieties in terms of feeling out of place in a predominately white institution seem even harder when there literally zero professionals who look like me and understand what I'm going through especially in the racial climate of today. In my sophomore year, I started my position as a peer mentor for first-generation college students like myself in a program called Pioneer Scholars. As a previous mentee, the program became a safe space and learning experience as I navigated the unfamiliar world of higher education, so I’m honored to have the opportunity to offer support and comfort as the program did for me. Although the pandemic has created a new experience for everyone in and of itself, the ability to somewhat step inside of their shoes with my own experience coming from a non-college-educated background has allowed me to connect with my mentees on a deeper level and relate to their struggles financially, academically and emotionally like no one else. Not only has it allowed me to "pay it forward" but it has taught me a lot about myself and what I am capable of despite what I've been through and how I was raised. Being a firstborn, first-generation student comes with its challenges and at times it seems unfair to those with different identities and upbringings but I have found pride in being the first in my family to seek higher education and look forward to helping those with similar backgrounds reach their full potential. As I continue my music career, education, and role as a mentor I want to help those who come from similar backgrounds to become their best selves so that they can follow their dreams despite what they've been through! Thank you for your time!

Music has been my greatest love for as long as I can remember, from listening to children’s movie soundtracks as a child to producing music of my own and leasing my work to artists online and in my community. Over time I’ve realized it takes more than just the music to succeed in this industry and I decided that college could help me build the skills musically and socially so that I can give it my all. I’m fully aware of how difficult pursuing a career within music may sound to people, but I owe it to myself and the younger me to follow my dreams to reach my full potential in life without any regrets. I do it for my cousins who didn’t have many black male role models with myself included. I want to be the first to build an entrepreneurial mindset in my family. But most of all I want to encourage my family to believe in themselves even when it seems impossible. I’m already beating the odds, so why not go even further? Although I’ve learned a bit on my own already, I’ve promised myself to pursue a career full of knowledge in the music industry at every chance I get within higher education. So far this has meant joining different programs like Grammy U to network and other opportunities where I can immerse myself in what the world of music has to offer. Last October, I stepped outside of my comfort zone and worked as a campus marketing representative for the beat-selling platform, BeatStars. While I wasn’t too familiar with marketing, instead of letting the fear of the unknown discourage me, I told myself this could be a chance to grow and develop new skills. The program began October 2020 in the midst of an already difficult remote semester, but I accepted the challenge of balancing both school and a great opportunity where I met the CEO and industry professionals in A&R, copyright, and publishing among others. My work involved social media, content creation, product review, industry research, and more. Soon after it ended in May, it opened a door to being offered an influencer role on my university’s social media team. I’m excited to see what else I’m capable of when I start in the Fall. My involvement on campus has taught me a great deal about work ethic, teamwork, and community. Last year I started my position as a peer mentor for the incoming first-generation students for a program called Pioneer Scholars. To be there helping students navigate this new chapter like the program helped me is my way of giving back. As VP of the Black Student Union, I’ve planned events, fundraisers, peaceful protests, and meetings for members of BSU that address issues within the black community and identity at a PWI. Providing a safe space to discuss our solutions and feel heard has given me a sense of purpose and community. I need to know that I’m helping others and improving the self-perception of those who need it most. But college has taught me that I have even more to learn, being exposed to people with different backgrounds and privileges through race and class or being from a college-educated family and therefore more aware of how to navigate higher education, student loans, and financial aid in general. Being an African-American, first-generation college student at a PWI comes with its challenges but I’ve found pride in my identity and a passion to help those with similar backgrounds reach their full potential. Thank you!

The older I get, music continues to be that shoulder I can cry on, the pat on the back telling me that I’m not alone and the vital dose of happiness I need to push through the day. Music has been my greatest love for as long as I can remember, from listening to movie soundtracks as a child to now making production of my own and diving into leasing my art to different creatives and even businesses in my city and around the world. My life has consisted of band practices, choir rehearsals, making beats at around 16, and now pursuing a career full of knowledge in the industry at every chance I get in higher education. Being the only musical person in proximity to my family, stories of great success (college or not) are like folklore so when someone mentions a distant famous cousin, it holds a lot of weight. Early on, I believed I would build success through music no matter what because it was the only thing I could resonate with in this world through signs like playing with a toy drum machine where I could make beats to pre-recorded loops. This manifested into realizing that producing music is my calling, going to college for music technology to recently working with the beat-selling platform, BeatStars as a marketing representative and wanting to learn everything about the industry. Over time I’ve realized it takes more than just the music to succeed in this industry but I’m willing to make the sacrifices and let God lead. I’m fully aware of how difficult pursuing a career within music or even sports may sound to some people but I owe it to myself and the younger me as well to follow my dreams so that I can reach my full potential in life without any regrets. I want to inspire those who I’ve met in my life to believe in themselves even when it seems impossible. I’ve come too far to allow any doubts and fears to dictate where I go in life. I do it for my cousins who didn’t have many black male role models with myself included. I’m already the living proof that we can beat the odds, why not add on to the winning streak? Thank you for your time!

This track is special to me because I loved every minute of making it (even the tedious mixing). Nonetheless, I’m proud of what I made. When I heard the main synth chords, they made me feel melancholy but hopeful and I think in many ways it describes the past year or so. It was unique so I decided to use it and make a beat. I wanted to step outside of my comfort zone and experiment with different elements from percussion and multiple basses to sounds I’ve never used. Each sound helped convey the emotion and let go of my perfectionism telling me how to create and instead do what felt and sounded right so I’m proud to share this in more ways than one!

I felt myself sinking deeper into the gloomy place that I’d been in before leaving middle school with the fears of being bullied for my appearance. Sitting alone at the lunch table, I'd always try to quiet my mind from insisting there was a spotlight on me, my clothes, my weight, and the fact I was isolated being what people would criticize. But each day became more unbearable than the last. The embarrassment that came from arguing with strict authority who didn’t even try to understand why I wore headphones at lunch and in between classes along with being reported to the principal’s office is something that still irks me to this day and only added a new fear that forced me to always look over my shoulder. It became a depressing downward spiral of self-hate, self-pity, and loneliness where I'd tell myself everything would be different if I had my father in my life to guide me, a stable upbringing and that I'd be more confident with a better self-image. Most of all I wouldn’t be so shy. Explaining to my mother what I was going through without exactly knowing myself was like pulling my own teeth. The stigma of mental illness in the black community and the world in general was (and still is) difficult to overcome being raised in a family and culture that has ostracized several family members and celebrities who struggle. One time, I brought up a late musician I admired with a family member and I mentioned their tragic suicide. The response I received was that it was “selfish” and I couldn’t believe what I had heard. It brought me to tears. I thought about the suffering that the artist went through and how insensitive opinions like these make people feel alone and discourage them from getting the help they long for. At the time, I was going through my own battle and tried to explain how their speech was harmful but couldn’t hold back my emotions let alone articulate what I thought about the subject. But through the years I decided the best thing I can do for myself is seek help before I get any worse. My mental health journey has allowed me to become more aware of mental health and ways to advocate for healthier dialogue and destigmatize the conditions of those suffering in silence as well as overtly by sharing my experiences and trying to be vulnerable. I want the person who’s paralyzed with the fear of dropping their lunch tray to not feel “crazy” or “weird” or live in a world that would never describe them as such before offering help, compassion, and a willingness to understand. Through therapy and my own research, I’ve indulged myself in different studies revolving around mental illness like genetic predisposition, warning signs, and how to help others who may be struggling the same way that I was for so long but didn’t understand. Learning about my condition has helped me create the necessary dialogue with others to relate and become more informed about mental health. One thing that has played a big role in my perseverance and vulnerability is music. There are so many artists who have been the reason for where I am today and have understood me more than I understand myself and their songs helped me build that chemistry between my thoughts, emotions, and who I am as an individual. Music has always soothed me in ways I can’t describe and it has been this way for as long as I can remember which is why I chose to pursue it as a career. I want to provide the same comfort to those going through difficult times and tap into different emotions that help people stay in tune with their thoughts and feelings by working with and helping musicians and creatives express themselves or express myself and share it with someone who can relate. There are so many ways in which music, sports, and the arts are a form of therapy and I want to contribute as much as I can for the world to find peace and feel understood. Although to fully overcome mental illness is impossible, I continue to live a life of advocacy for the tough discussions regarding mental health so that my peers, friends, mentees, and even family can grasp a better understanding and compassion for those like myself who live with mental illness.

I was a freshman who wrote poems, became a hip-hop connoisseur, and had a fear of cafeteria lunch lines. I felt myself sinking deeper into the gloomy place that I’d been in before leaving middle school with the fears of being bullied for my appearance. Sitting alone at the lunch table, I would always try to quiet my mind from insisting there was a spotlight on me, my clothes, my weight, and the fact I was isolated being what people would criticize. But each day became more unbearable than the last. The embarrassment that came from arguing with strict authority who didn’t even try to understand why I wore headphones at lunch and in between classes along with being reported to the principal’s office is something that still irks me to this day and only added a new fear that forced me to always look over my shoulder. It became a depressing downward spiral of self-hate, self-pity, and loneliness where I'd tell myself everything would be different if I had my father in my life to guide me, a stable upbringing and that I'd be more confident with a better self-image. Most of all I wouldn’t be so shy. Explaining to my mother what I was going through without exactly knowing myself was like pulling my own teeth. The stigma of mental illness in the black community and the world in general was (and still is) difficult to overcome being raised in a family and culture that has ostracized several family members and celebrities who struggle. There was one time when I brought up a late musician I admired with a family member and I mentioned their tragic suicide. The response I received was that it was “selfish” and I couldn’t believe what I had heard. It brought me to tears. I thought about the suffering that the artist went through and how insensitive opinions like these make people feel alone and discourage them from getting the help they long for. At the time, I was going through my own battle and tried to explain how their speech was harmful but couldn’t hold back my emotions let alone articulate what I thought about the subject. But through the years I decided the best thing I can do for myself is seek help before I get any worse. My mental health journey has allowed me to become more aware of mental health and ways to advocate for healthier dialogue and destigmatize the conditions of those suffering in silence as well as overt by sharing my experiences and trying to be vulnerable. I want the person who’s paralyzed with the fear of dropping their lunch tray to not feel “crazy” or “weird” and live in a world that would ever describe them as such before offering help, compassion, and a willingness to understand. Through therapy and my own research, I’ve indulged myself in different studies revolving around mental illness like genetic predisposition, warning signs, and how to help others who may be struggling the same way that I was for so long but didn’t understand. Learning about my condition has helped me create the necessary dialogue with others to relate and become more informed about mental health. One thing that has played a big role in my perseverance and vulnerability is music. There are so many artists who have been the reason for where I am today and have understood me more than I understand myself and their songs helped me build that chemistry between my thoughts, emotions, and who I am as an individual. Music has always soothed me in ways I can’t describe and it has been this way for as long as I can remember which is why I chose to pursue it as a career. I want to provide the same comfort to those going through difficult times and tap into different emotions that help people stay in tune with their thoughts and feelings through working with and helping musicians and creatives express themselves or by expressing myself and sharing it with someone who can relate. There are so many ways in which music and the arts are a form of therapy and I want to contribute as much as I can for the world to find peace and feel understood. Although to fully overcome mental illness is impossible, I continue to live a life of advocacy for the tough discussions regarding mental health so that my peers, friends, mentees, and even family can grasp a better understanding and compassion for those like myself who live with mental illness. Thank you for your time!

Growing up in a single-parent household for most of my life produced a young adolescent full of curiosity about the world and the people in it, but more specifically the people around him. I found a love for music and video games after school to avoid an idle mind, while my mother worked her nine to five. But with that time to myself, I'd often question why things were the way they were in my life. I am a first-generation, only child, and the oldest cousin to two more only-children who I’d consider my brother and sister. My grandmother had three daughters, who raised us on their own for the most part. We're a very close-knit family, so the lack of support that'd come from a two-parent household often made up in the bond we had with each other. But there are some things that boys and even girls must learn from a male figure. There is a balance within the "nuclear family" that both of my cousins and I have seldom experienced. There weren't many male figures that stuck around or that we could learn from because the ones we had were deceased, poor influences, or just as distant as our fathers and it made a very strange but unique family dynamic growing up. I can say that much of my childhood and even my current journey into adulthood has been a constant battle of trying to gain the wisdom needed for a man and a black man to thrive in this world. Now that I’m in college, I’d say the same goes for my experience as a first-generation student. Not having the financial backing that I imagine would’ve been more likely if my upbringing reflected a more traditional family of two parents with a better understanding of financial literacy and foresight earlier in my life has made my investment into education a much harder process strategizing how to pay for it, relying on student loans and taking the time to apply for scholarships like this one. College has taught me I have even more to learn, being exposed to people with different backgrounds and privileges through race and class and being from a college-educated family, therefore being more aware of how to navigate higher education, student loans, and financial aid in general. Imposter syndrome has been what I’ve described a large part of my experience, often being the outcast in my classes (online and in-person) and most areas on campus besides ones that don’t “promote diversity.” I've also come to the harsh realization that the odds are stacked against black students in ways I didn’t necessarily expect such as representation within counseling services in particular. Being a first-generation African-American college student at a PWI comes with its challenges and at times it seems unfair but I have found pride in my identity and look forward to helping those with similar backgrounds reach their full potential. Being involved on campus has taught me a great deal about work ethic, teamwork, and community. Specifically, as VP of Black Student Union, I’ve planned events, fundraisers, peaceful protests, and meetings for members of BSU that address different issues that plague the black community and identity at a PWI. Operating with peers who have different personalities, visions, interests, and schedules to improve the college experience for black students and allies has shown me how important it is at a university that can have its fair share of microaggressions and bias that compliments a world exceeding with issues more prevalent than ever regarding race. Providing a safe space to discuss our issues, solutions, and feel heard has given me a sense of purpose and community. I need to know that I’m helping others and improving the self-perception of those who need it most. When it comes to my career goals, my dream is to pursue music which is why I’m studying music technology. Music has been my greatest love for as long as I can remember, from listening to movie soundtracks as a child to now making production of my own and diving into leasing my work to artists online and in my community. I know that in order to succeed in any industry I have to learn the in’s and out’s along with learning how to balance the highs and lows. As a former campus marketing representative for the beat-selling platform, BeatStars, as well as a participant in Warner Music Group's Career Classroom Series this Spring, I have developed a strong sense of the importance of the different careers in the industry, networking with those who have similar goals, and commitment. Along with that, I have been studying the intricacies of audio before I knew it was possible to do so through higher education or cultivate it into a career. I’ve spent hours upon hours searching for tutorials, experimenting with my own work, and practicing through lessons I’ve been taught at my university but I know for certain that the learning never stops and the same goes for any field. In the BeatStars program I was in, I performed different tasks such as industry research, utilizing social media and the BeatStars team where I learned about publishing, contracts and more. Also in these past sessions in the Career Classroom Series, not only have I learned from the amazing staff and their day to day but I’ve had the opportunity to network with aspiring tour managers, artists, producers, designers and future music industry professionals from different parts of the country, both of which have been an incredible source of inspiration. I’m aware of how difficult pursuing a music career may sound but I owe it to the younger me to follow my dreams so that I can reach my full potential in life without any regrets and to inspire those who I’ve met in my life to believe in themselves even when it is hard. I’ve come too far to allow any doubts and fears to dictate my life. Thank you for your time!

I was a freshman in high school who wrote poems, became a hip-hop connoisseur, and had a fear of cafeteria lunch lines. I felt myself sinking deeper into the gloomy place that I’d been in before leaving middle school with the fears of being bullied for my appearance. Sitting alone at the lunch table, I tried to quiet my mind from insisting there was a spotlight on me, my clothes, my weight, and the fact I was isolated being what people would criticize. But each day became more unbearable than the last. The embarrassment that came from arguing with strict authority who didn’t even try to understand why I wore headphones at lunch and in the crowded hallways along with being reported to the principal’s office is something that still irks me to this day and only added a new fear that forced me to always look over my shoulder. It became a depressing downward spiral of self-hate, self-pity, and loneliness where I'd tell myself everything would be different if I had my father in my life, a stable upbringing and I'd be confident with a better self-image, or wouldn't be so shy like everyone said I was as a child. Explaining to my mother what I was going through without exactly knowing myself was like pulling my own teeth. The stigma of mental illness in the black community and the world in general was (and still is) difficult to overcome being raised in a family and culture that has ostracized several family members and celebrities who struggle. But seeking professional help since I received an actual diagnosis has allowed me to become more aware of mental health and ways to advocate for healthier dialogue and destigmatize the conditions of those suffering in silence as well as overt. I want to continue my journey by sharing my experiences so that the person who’s paralyzed with the fear of dropping their lunch tray doesn’t feel “crazy” or “weird” and have to live in a world that would ever describe them as such before offering help, compassion and a willingness to understand.

Those who know me the best, are well aware (and probably annoyed) of my affinity for the classic DreamWorks movie, Shrek. The reason for that is because I’m able to see a significant part of myself within the protagonist and it’s been this way ever since I was a child. Shrek, a smelly ogre, prideful of his stench and feared by society, befriends a fellow reject named Donkey (who is one), prior to embarking on a perilous journey to rescue a princess named Fiona from her lonely tower. He must do so in exchange for his secluded life in his swamp that became swamped (pun intended) by homeless fairytale creatures by order of the vainest ruler, Lord Farquaad who can only be king if he weds a princess. In this epic, the audience and side characters alike get to know Shrek beyond what he chooses to show as he becomes vulnerable and open about his flaws. In the beginning he lives the life of a bitter and isolated outcast in a fairytale universe struggling with self-image and acceptance but by the end of the movie he starts to live the life he’d only scoffed at in the “fairytales.” This means having true friends like Donkey who looks past his insecurities and how he’s viewed by society or having a wife to call his “true love” who (without spoilers) can relate to his insecurities and judgement more than he initially thought. This beautiful combination of real-world scenarios and the mockery of fairy tale tropes is what made a kid like me struggling with being judged about my weight and had a difficult time trusting others because of it, have someone to look up to in dark times and I admit the same can be said for my life today.

Growing up in a single-parent household for most of my life produced a young adolescent full of curiosity about the world and the people in it, but more specifically the people around him. To avoid an idle mind, I found a love for music and video games after school, while my mother worked her nine to five. But with that time to myself, I'd often question why things were the way they were in my life. I am a first-generation, only child (therefore the first- and only born), and the oldest cousin to two more only-children, both with working single mothers. My grandmother had three daughters, who in total raised three children, all with distant or uninvolved fathers. We're a very close-knit family, so the lack of support that'd come from a two-parent household often made up in the bond we had with each other. But there are some things that boys and even girls must learn from a male figure. There is a balance within the "nuclear family" that both of my cousins and I have seldom experienced. There weren't any male figures we could learn from because the ones we had were deceased, poor influences, or just as distant as our fathers and it made a very strange but unique family dynamic growing up. My cousins and I are like siblings. We mostly went to the same after school programs, schools and for a significant amount of time, lived in the same apartment complex but there were still limitations and barriers that we encountered being related as cousins like being separated at times when our parents decided to move and we had to go to different schools. With that, came isolation and not having that brother or sister by my side all the time to play with and just have fun. Since I am the oldest, I have always put pressure on myself to be a role model for both of my cousins, only to realize that my knowledge is limited because no one taught me what I wish I could teach them. Consequently, I can say for me, growing up has been a constant battle of trying to gain the wisdom needed for a man and a black man to thrive in this world. Now that I’m in college, I’d say the same goes for my experience as a first generation student. College has taught me that I have even more to learn, being exposed to people with different backgrounds and privileges not only through race but class and being from a college-educated family, therefore being more aware of how to navigate higher education, student loans and financial aid in general. Imposter syndrome has been what I’ve described a large part of my experience, often being the outcast in my classes (online and in-person) and most areas on campus besides ones that don’t “promote diversity.” Along with that, not having the financial backing that would’ve likely come if my upbringing reflected a more traditional family of two parents with a better understanding of financial literacy and foresight earlier in my life has made my investment into education a much harder process strategizing how to pay for it, relying on student loans and taking the time to apply for scholarships outside of my course workload. I've also come to the harsh realization that the odds are stacked against black students in ways I didn’t necessarily expect such as representation within counseling services in particular. Starting my sophomore year, I started my position as a peer mentor for first-generation college students like myself. As a previous mentee, the program became a safe space and learning experience as I navigated the unfamiliar world of higher education, so I’m honored to have the opportunity to offer support and comfort as the program did for me. Although the pandemic has created a new experience for everyone in and of itself, the ability to step inside of their shoes with my own experience coming from a non-college-educated background has allowed me to connect with my mentees on a deeper level and relate to their struggles financially, academically and emotionally like no one else. Being a firstborn, first generation student comes with its challenges and at times it seems unfair to those with different identities and upbringings but I have found pride in being the first in my family to seek higher education and look forward to helping those with similar backgrounds reach their full potential.

I was a freshman in high school who wrote poems, became a hip-hop connoisseur, and had a fear of cafeteria lunch lines. I felt myself sinking deeper into the gloomy place that I’d been in before leaving middle school with the fears of being bullied for my appearance. Sitting alone at the lunch table, I tried to quiet my mind from insisting there was a spotlight on me, my clothes, my weight, and the fact I was isolated being what people would criticize. But each day became more unbearable than the last. The embarrassment that came from arguing with strict authority who didn’t even try to understand why I wore headphones at lunch and in the crowded hallways along with being reported to the principal’s office is something that still irks me to this day and only added a new fear that forced me to always look over my shoulder. It became a depressing downward spiral of self-hate, self-pity, and loneliness where I'd tell myself everything would be different if I had my father in my life, a stable upbringing and I'd be confident with a better self-image, or wouldn't be so shy like everyone said I was as a child. Explaining to my mother what I was going through without exactly knowing myself was like pulling my own teeth. The stigma of mental illness in the black community and the world in general was (and still is) difficult to overcome being raised in a family and culture that has ostracized several family members and celebrities who struggle. But seeking professional help since I received an actual diagnosis has allowed me to become more aware of mental health and ways to advocate for healthier dialogue and destigmatize the conditions of those suffering in silence as well as overt. I want to continue my journey by sharing my experiences so that the person who’s paralyzed with the fear of dropping their lunch tray doesn’t feel “crazy” or “weird” and have to live in a world that would ever describe them as such before offering help, compassion and a willingness to understand.

A core philosophy of mine comes from the bible in which says although we are many different individuals, we live as one body in Christ and belong to one another. We shouldn’t think of ourselves as better than one another but use our gifts in accordance with our faith. My mother has always instilled in me, a humbleness that never fails to remind me that “we’re only a paycheck away” from living on the streets meaning that we should never take our blessings for granted because just as fast as we receive them, they can be taken away in a flash. This is the type of philosophy we’ve never strived away from practicing, especially when being reminded of the harsh realities of poverty or other circumstances. As I grew up, this manifested into signing up for different holiday food drives through churches, schools, and other organizations. The first moment I realized the power of giving back was when my family and I volunteered at a local homeless shelter, Wayside Christian Mission, and Hotel Louisville. On my way in, carrying boxes with my cousins, two little boys stopped me to say their mother needed diapers for their baby sister. When I saw the joy in both of their eyes after seeing the cookies I had in the box I was carrying, I thought about their innocence and the pride and strength it within their mother watching her two sons walk away from the playground to be heroes for their baby sister. For the first time, I realized that poverty affects everyone, no matter what age. That same day I served food to more people in my community plagued with unfortunate circumstances and got a better sense of what it's like in their shoes. Being instructed by workers and family members on how to serve the food to the people within the shelter taught me more about leadership. Opportunities to be invested in my city like these help provide valuable lessons that don’t think I could learn anywhere else. With that being said, it made me want to continue to give back to help my community and the world thrive. On my journey through higher education, I've promised myself to dedicate time to give back through any way possible whether it be through food drives on campus, churches, schools, and organizations, helping in homeless shelters like Wayside Christian Mission, making my late great-grandmother proud by helping in senior living communities, tutoring and mentoring elementary, middle or high school students, or simply picking up trash to help clean and preserve the environment. But community involvement is more than simply helping those in need. I believe to truly serve a community, one must, more importantly, understand their community. I've had the chance to work alongside refugees who work at Bellarmine and perform difficult custodial tasks to keep our university clean. Part of our mission was to understand how difficult it may be for different cultures with different languages to interact or, better yet, come to an unfamiliar country while leaving family and occupations behind. Starting my sophomore year, I started my position as a peer mentor for first-generation college students like myself. As a previous mentee, the program became a safe space and learning experience as I navigated the unfamiliar world of higher education, so I’m honored to have the opportunity to offer support and comfort as the program did for me. Although the pandemic has created a new experience for everyone in and of itself, the ability to step inside of their shoes with my own experience coming from a non-college-educated background has allowed me to connect with my mentees on a deeper level and relate to their struggles financially, academically and emotionally like no one else. A part of me used to subscribe to the idea that a music degree is was laughable to some of my peers who aspire to be social workers in fields that deal with helping issues around the world. But then I was reminded of how community centers like the Louisville Urban League helped me through a program called L.Y.R.I.C.S. (Louisville Youth Resisting Injustice and Changing Systems) where we learned about different social sciences that are embedded in hip hop music/culture. It became a safe haven for me to think critically about the world and build friendships at a time when it was extremely difficult for me to do so with the many pressures that come with adolescence. We had workshops and discussions involving black history, music production, psychology, political science, and a lot more that never saw the light of day in the regular education system. That is one of the ways I’d like to give back; by helping black and brown youth excel through creativity, powerful discussions, and cultural identity. I want to give back to my community and beyond by providing the youth with opportunities to tap into themselves to learn who they are and do so by lending my talents to help organizations and community centers that help the youth and allow them to express themselves and their emotions. In order for any community to thrive, we have to offer compassion for those around us, even outside of our own communities and give a chance to those who have dealt with setbacks in life, getting rid of any biases we have towards one another. Receiving this scholarship will propel me into an even better position to give back, being involved in a college environment built on the same mindset of helping our communities. Giving back to the community is important because when we give back in whatever shape or form, we set an example for those among us and encourage them to do the same and work towards ending the different circumstances of poverty, single-parenthood, mass incarceration, global warming, teenage pregnancy, etc. When we work as a whole to a better society, we not only learn valuable lessons but we create a path to a better future.

Leadership isn’t always about whose boss, but the one who shows the act of taking initiative, leading by example, showing they are committed to their dreams, and working towards the life they want for themselves and the people around them. Being involved on campus has taught me a great deal about work ethic, teamwork, and community. Specifically, as VP of Black Student Union, I’ve planned events, fundraisers, peaceful protests, and meetings for members of BSU that address different issues that plague the black community and identity at a PWI. Operating with peers who have different personalities, visions, interests, and schedules to improve the college experience for black students and allies has shown me how important it is at a PWI that can have its fair share of microaggressions and bias that compliments a world exceeding with issues more prevalent than ever regarding race. Providing a safe space to discuss our issues, solutions, and feel heard has given me a sense of purpose and community I need to know that I’m helping others and improving the self-perception of those who need it most. College has taught me that I have even more to learn, being exposed to people with different backgrounds and privileges not only through race but class and being from a college-educated family, therefore being more aware of how to navigate higher education. Imposter syndrome has been what I’ve described a large part of my experience, often being the outcast in my classes (online and in-person) and most areas on campus besides ones that don’t “promote diversity.” Along with that, not having the financial backing that would’ve likely come if my upbringing reflected a more traditional family of two parents with a better understanding of financial literacy and foresight earlier in my life has made my investment into education a much harder process strategizing how to pay for it, relying on student loans and taking the time to apply for scholarships outside of my course workload. On a final note, I've come to the harsh realization that the odds are stacked against black students in ways I didn’t necessarily expect such as representation within counseling services in particular. As I reflect on my life always involving music, I’ve connected the dots between my personality of always being vocal about the therapeutic qualities of music, incorporating it into projects, and being curious about how people develop into who they are. In my career exploration and goals, this has recently created a spark inside of me to explore ways in which I can advocate for black mental health and incorporate my musical ambitions as well as consider a career as a music therapist, social worker, or at least a career where I’m able to help solve issues in my community one way or another. I’ll admit that a concern of mine is what that may entail financially, compared to the commitments to right now. Regardless, I refuse to allow it to stifle my ambition to reach my full potential. Thank you!

My mom has always described a time around when I'd just learned to walk and I was caught dancing to the music playing on TV. She makes sure to emphasize that I shook my behind and it would fill everybody watching with laughter. When she reminds me of this, it isn’t hard to imagine and without embarrassment, because I’ve loved music for as long as could breathe. Although I am frequently reminded of this day I can't remember, my earliest memory of music comes from a period of time in my life I've never given much thought until now. Based on pinpointing other memories around this one, I believe I was around eight years old when everyday my mother would pick me up from an after-school childcare program within my elementary school after she got off from work. It took about forty-five minutes to get home. Home is where we both would unwind. Just a boy and his mom in a small two bedroom apartment on the second floor. My father would visit periodically, but it is difficult for a little boy to fathom, when he hears stories from his classmates about the places their Dad took them over the weekend. My mom did the best she could to provide me with my basic needs of course but she made sure to provide happy moments as well. I remember days when she would search for job applications on her computer that took forever to load. She would let me sit on her lap while she played a variety of songs from YouTube (or whatever was possible back then) but the song that stuck out the most was “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” by Bobby McFerrin. We would sing every word together without a care in the world. “Don’t worry, be happy,” my mother would say to me and I would sing it back, through the good days and the bad. It was a distraction from the pressures of unemployment coupled with single motherhood and for me, a distraction from the pressure of making friends but feeling inadequate compared to my classmates because of my race, my weight, and my background. The song is special to me because my mother and I would play it so much, it became the soundtrack of our lives and helped us get to where we are today, but I didn’t realize it so early in my childhood. The older I grow, music continues to be that shoulder I can cry on, the pat on the back telling me that I’m not alone and the vital dose of happiness I need to push through the day. When I hear a song like this that breeds nostalgia, it's like I’m back in that moment one more time. And when I need a little motivation, I play the song to remind me of how I got this far and the mindset I need to go even further.

Reflecting on the beginning of the year of 2020, I am immensely proud of myself for taking advantage of opportunities that came in my direction and even more so because they fell into place right before the world seemed to fall apart due to the devastating changes caused by COVID-19. In February of 2020, because of my then secretary position in my university’s Black Student Union, I was able to attend the Black Solidarity Conference hosted at Yale in New Haven, Connecticut. It was the first time I traveled without my family. Instead, I traveled to a new city with peers that I had only known since the previous semester but I was able to bond with them along with network with other diverse, like-minded individuals and influencers who discussed topics like black representation, black culture, and the black experience at a PWI (predominantly white institution) where these discussions are often overlooked and minimized. It shaped how I approach networking and black identity. A month later, in March, one of the same friends I traveled to the conference with, brought to my attention a university program that takes place every spring break called ASB (Alternative Spring Break). The program allows students to travel during spring break and engage locally or in a city with prominent sociopolitical issues or movements such as LGBTQ+ or civil rights in places like Selma, AL, Charleston, SC, and more. I traveled with the Selma group with the focus of civil rights where we not only learned about the historical significance in its rawest form but we learned about the nonviolent philosophy of MLK, volunteer, marched the Edmund Pettus bridge for the anniversary of Bloody Sunday, and discuss the current issues the community deals with today. It allowed me to reflect on my own city and the progress that needs to be made. In addition to that, I built friendships with people who had different political opinions on the trip through tough but necessary discussions, carpool karaoke, and movie nights that brought us closer together and learn from other perspectives. Fast forward into the pandemic and depending on how one uses it, something great can come from it. For me, I viewed it as an opportunity to self reflect, improve my mental and physical health, be more consistent with my music, build better habits as well as find what interests me. This led me to search for video editing and photoshop tutorials and opportunities outside of my comfort zone. I came across an advertisement for a program that targeted students interested in music and marketing for a beat-selling platform called BeatStars that I had used in the past. While I wasn’t too familiar with marketing, instead of letting the fear of the unknown discourage me, I told myself this could be a chance to grow and develop new skills. The program started in October in the midst of an already difficult remote semester, but I accepted the challenge of balancing both school and a new experience. The purpose of the program is to get college-age students to join the platform and since October of 2020, we’ve joined a variety of people in the music industry through weekly panels and completed tasks that involve content creation, product review, industry write-up, and more. Its truly given me perspective on what goes into marketing a product to a specific audience. Through TikToks, emails to student organizations, and utilization of social media, I continue to learn unique ways of strategizing that I never thought of before. It has sparked a curiosity for more, a different mindset when it comes to marketing my music, and influence my decisions in picking classes for upcoming semesters. For example, I’ve chosen classes that reflect what I am introduced to in the program such as a digital art foundation class and digital marketing, and contacted professors in the communications department of my university to learn more about what they have to offer while I considering adding a minor or double major to my music technology studies. In terms of my career goals, part of me used to subscribe to the idea that my music technology pursuit is almost laughable to some of my peers who aspire to be social workers in fields that deal with helping issues around the world. But then I realized the different ways I can use my experiences to give back to the community and beyond through being involved in its fruition. I could teach youth who come from single-parent households as I did for most of my life and allow them to express themselves through music or writing by perhaps making my own program or work with non-profit organizations in my city by utilizing skills that I build throughout my life. With creativity and the push for change, the possibilities are endless. My experiences continue to shape my perspective going into my twenties and navigating through college. These experiences have expanded and reaffirmed my beliefs revolving around the idea that we should offer compassion for those around us, even outside of our own communities, and give a chance to those who have dealt with setbacks in life, getting rid of any biases we have towards one another. I feel that giving back to our community is important because we set examples for those among us and encourage them to do the same and fight towards ending the different circumstances of poverty, single-parenthood, mass incarceration, global warming, teenage pregnancy, or succeeding in college. When we work as a whole to a better society, we not only learn valuable lessons but we create a path to a better future.

The past year presented us with many challenges, concerns, and well, time to say the least, and depending on how one uses it, something great can come from it. For me, I viewed it as an opportunity to self reflect, improve my mental and physical health, be more consistent with my music, build better habits as well as find what interests me. This led me to search for video editing and photoshop tutorials and opportunities outside of my comfort zone. I came across an advertisement for a program that targeted students interested in music and marketing for a beat-selling platform called BeatStars that I had used in the past. While I wasn’t too familiar with marketing, instead of letting the fear of the unknown discourage me, I told myself this could be a chance to grow and develop new skills. The program started in October in the midst of an already difficult remote semester, but I accepted the challenge of balancing both school and a new experience. The purpose of the program is to get college-age students to join the platform and since October of 2020, we have joined a variety of different people in the music industry through weekly panels and completed tasks that involve content creation, product review, industry write-up, and more. This has truly given me perspective on what goes into marketing and selling a product to a specific audience. Through the (sometimes embarrassing) TikToks, emails to student organizations, and utilization of social media, I must admit that I continue to learn unique ways of strategizing that I never thought of before. It has sparked a curiosity for more and a different mindset when it comes to marketing my music as well as influence my decisions in picking classes for upcoming semesters. For example, I have chosen classes that reflect what I am introduced to in the program such as a digital art foundation class and digital marketing and contacted professors in the communications department of my university to learn more about what they have to offer while I considering adding a minor or double major to my music technology studies. If I were to receive this grant, I would use it towards finding what I am passionate about and further explore communications, whether that be marketing, digital media, journalism or radio, and broadcast. Stepping outside of my comfort zone and trying new things have allowed me to better define my goals and ambitions. Instead of extinguishing this fire, I want to continue burning with curiosity and learn all that I can with the most invaluable thing we know: time.

Anyone who’s a fan of the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air remembers the iconic episode where Will's father makes a brief return in his life but by the end of the show, he becomes disappointed to hear from his father once again, an excuse why he must leave. His father departs without a hug, handshake, or any proper goodbye for that matter. Will goes from happy and hopeful to resentful and sad within minutes before proclaiming a future where he is greater than his father ever was. I can empathize with the little boy in Will whom all he'd ever wanted was someone to teach him how to shave or talk to girls and tie a tie. Someone to be there to guide him when he feels as though he is lost in the dark. Someone to teach him how to "be a man." Growing up in a single-parent household for most of my life produced a young adolescent full of curiosity about the world and the people in it, but more specifically the surrounding people. To avoid an idle mind, I found a love for music and video-games after school, while my mother worked her nine to five. But with that time to myself, I'd often question why things were the way they were in my life. My grandmother had three daughters, who in total raised three children, all with distant or uninvolved fathers. As a close-knit family, the lack of support from two-parent households was often made up in the bond we had with each other. But there are some things that boys and even girls must learn from a male figure in a nuclear family. There weren't any male figures we could learn from because the ones we had were deceased, poor influences, or just as distant as our fathers. I have always put pressure on myself to be a role model for both of my cousins, only to realize that my knowledge is limited because no one taught me what I wish I could teach them. It has been a constant battle of trying to gain the wisdom needed for a man and a black man to thrive in this world. Between my younger cousins who I consider siblings, I believe that I am the luckiest in the sense that, while my relationship with my father could improve, at least I have somewhat of a relationship. We’d talk from time to time, once every month or so, but the phone calls averaged about five minutes ending with him saying "I love you," with his thick Nigerian accent. But I was always skeptical of its sincerity. Our relationship has been this way for as long as I can remember. He’d visit around twice a year only to leave me crying at his departure in my mother's arms. I couldn't truly express to her my emotions when this would happen. Only the fatherless could empathize with what I felt. Granted, my mother lost her father to lung cancer before I was born, but our stories had their differences. I've felt like Will more times than once. This caused me to hang on to every word of the men in my life, to whom I deemed a mentor leading into high school. In high school, I thought I'd be confident, have a ton of friends, and be less shy than I was before, but it was the complete opposite. There were more internal struggles that would consume me every day. When I finally confessed my thoughts to my mother, we sought help until they diagnosed me with generalized anxiety disorder which developed into SAD (social anxiety disorder). What a name, right? We scheduled therapy sessions for the next couple of years until I felt comfortable with medication. While getting the help I needed, I still felt a lot of resentment for my father and blamed him for the way I was. On the flip side, I often felt I was being ungrateful considering the relationship or lack thereof my cousins have with their fathers. "How can I complain when I have two fathers? A father and now a stepdad. Get a hold of yourself for god's sake," I'd tell myself. But graduating was a unique experience, not only because my hard work and stress paid off, but because I saw my father in a different light. He came to my graduation with my stepfamily I'd never met. With his Nigerian accent, he introduced us to my stepmom and step-siblings. As much as I thoroughly declined a graduation party months before, my family invited childhood friends, distant relatives, and new faces to celebrate my accomplishment the next day. I admit it was anxiety-inducing having to properly introduce one another. Some family members I barely knew myself and I couldn't say much about my father, nor my new family. When the time came for speeches, I heard the most sincere words from those who knew me best. My father wanted to share a few words as well to admire my mother for creating the man I'd become and thanked everyone for being there for me. He was proud of me for beating the odds broke into tears telling me he loved me. It was the first time I saw my father cry, and seconds later I did the same. We opened up like we hadn't before, with our emotions on full display for each other. It is something I'll never forget. While my relationship with my father still has its flaws I've learned to not let that devour me and dictate the way I feel about myself. I've learned to accept my struggles with mental health and work towards solutions through coping skills and self-care before self-pity and self-hate. While it is a daily struggle, I'm far more knowledgeable about myself and what I've been through than I was before, which has allowed me to become one step closer to improving the relationship I have with my father.

The song that inspires me is called “Heavenly Father” by Isaiah Rashad which explores the raw emotions that come with depression and growing up without a father or positive male role model. They are both something I can resonate with as that was my experience for the majority of my life. The songs that follow continue to provide clarity and solace for me, being that the artists expressed thoughts and feelings that I still at times find difficult to grapple with today. It’s the anger, resentment, and loneliness but also the hope for brighter days and prioritization of self-love.

This is the moment I knew the journey I was about to embark upon (no pun intended) would consist of heartfelt emotions I felt when I saw the first photo of my furry friend, Luna. The photo was taken by a local dog breeder we picked her up from but leading up to our introduction, I quickly became attached solely due to pictures and videos of her cute little tail and eyes that could make a grown man cry. At times like this, I couldn’t imagine life without her snores, demand of belly rubs and unconditional love! @quietkpt