Growing up, I was very fortunate to have great band teachers who loved having us perform for the community. My first teacher would combine all his elementary schools into one gym and we would perform together. I still had him in middle school and he would have us perform in the mall or for small community events. In high school, my new teacher had us perform outside of the nearby church or for marathons where we also got to cheer for the runners. Whenever we went out, nervousness would escape me and I would feel proud of what I was performing for rather than what I was performing. When COVID hit, a lot of these opportunities disappeared but are slowly starting to come back again. As I am put into positions where I get to lead my own groups of students, my biggest goal is "How can I share the same feelings of excitement and meaning in performance with my students?" When I finished college, I worked very closely with my friend who taught middle school and high school band. I was fortunately allowed to implement many of my ideas. One of these was allowing small groups to play in the lobby before the concert. My motivation in accomplishing this project was having the middle schoolers and high schoolers play together so that they could start to connect. I arranged the music so that regardless of their skill level, there was a part for them to play. From there, my friend offered me a position to be his Middle school's parade band director. Despite the lack of parade bands in our area, we signed up for competitions even if we were the only ones competing or if we were going to get blown out of the water. Despite the outcomes of those performances we ended the day with fun or boba. My favorite moment with my students was when we played for their community marathon. I was able to convince my friend to have his jazz band kids perform in it as well. The coordinator of the event was very excited and shared her own stories of how her sons used to be in the same band when they were young. The students enjoyed when some of the runners would stop to listen or record. When we took moments of break, we made sure to cheer on the runners. Unforunately, I had to move away from my students but I feel like this gives me opportunities to offer my passion at different parts of the country. As I go for my Master's in Education and license, I hope to bring my ideas to the music teachers in this area to make live music popular again. I hope to show the importance of music to the community because we felt the pain of its absence when COVID-19 hit. And I hope to make it more affordable and accessible for people to listen to live music by performing in low-income areas, hospitals, or senior homes.

"Why do you do this? After I die you both are all you have!" my mom yelled. My younger brother had tear stained cheeks and was licking the running mucus from his nose. My mom was getting upset at both of us because I had thrown him off the cliff because he had thrown my mom off the cliff. Not in real life of course, but in Super Mario Bros Wii. For my brother, I'm sure that was the start of his villain arc, but for me, I was having a lot of fun. However, it was a moment I didn't think we would not have anymore as my brother and I grew up and did our own things. Looking back on it now, it felt bittersweet. I was 11, my brother was 5, and my mom was 39. It was the first and last video game she played with us. Thinking back on how my mom felt, it was probably to distract us from a divorce, having to move apartments for affordability, and having to go back and forth my parents places every couple days. And boy were we distracted. As soon as our mom got home, the three of us would play. If we were to play the game now, my brother and I would brush through it, but at that time, it took weeks. Something my brother and I got from our mom was our completionist mindset. We collected every star to unlock the secret world which we then collected every star in afterward! Imagine doing that with a 5 year old. From time to time, we would mess around too much in-game and my mom would threaten that we'd have to stop playing so we shut up. Now I'm 25, my brother is 19, and my mom is 53. She refuses to play another game, doesn't care about the Mario Movie, and doesn't care about Nintendo World. I don't blame her, after dealing with us, she did her time. Since we finished Super Mario Bros Wii, my brother and I have played many other Nintendo games together, with our favorite as a duo being Super Mario Galaxy. Although that game holds memories of its own, I feel gratitude for my mom for using games to teach my brother and I to cooperate. As one day my husband and I will have children of our own, I'd love to teach them the value of family through a frantic time of playing Super Mario Bros.

My husband and I were college sweethearts. We were both getting our bachelor's in music education and it was during his last year he won an audition into the Marine band on trumpet. At the time, we were still friends, but with the military and COVID going on, I decided that it would be fine to do long-distance since we had a thing for each other and COVID made everything long-distance anyway. The first year he joined, I had seen him in person a handful of times and on his first summer leave, we got married. We spent another year long-distance so I could finish my degree then another year on top of that so I could get a year of work experience. Finally after 3 years of lagging Facetime and Discord calls, he helped drive me across the country from California to North Carolina so we could live together! Growing up, one of my back-burner dreams was to travel, perform, and teach music. I wasn't sure how realistic it would be coming from a middle-income family in California because everything felt like it costed so much. As soon as I got to North Carolina, I applied to substitute teaching jobs and reached out to music teachers in the area. I was able to help provide the relief of having a musician teacher as well as assistance in their classes. I was also fortunate to sub in the Christmas concert with my husband! Not only did I get to perform with a military ensemble, I got to perform with my husband again. I am extremely grateful to my husband. Although the timing had it so he wasn't able to finish his Bachelors at the moment, a year later we changed stations to Virginia and now I can say I've helped music programs in three states, and now I'm pursuing my Masters in Music Education because I want to do more with involving school music programs in the community. This has also motivated my husband to finish his Bachelors. Throughout my time in education and living as a military spouse, I've learned that there's more students homeschooled than I would have even thought. With the choice of homeschooling however means that there may be a limitation of subjects depending on the parents ability to teach or what the community can provide. With my husbands military performance experience and my knowledge in instrumental pedagogy, I hope that we can create an extra curricular non-profit music ensemble for military students so that we can perform for events, charities, and fundraisers while they also gain the opportunity to learn and instrument and perform a concert that can have more meaning.

"Jazz" Ladd Anderson was what he was known as. A very talented jazz saxophonist, flautist, and my elementary band teacher. I was crisscrossed apple sauce with my classmates on the white tiled cafeteria floor. Mr. Anderson and the orchestra teacher held a demonstration concert where they would play different instruments to a backing track. I heard the violin, viola, saxophone, trumpet, and clarinet and we all cheered so loud it was difficult even to hear the instruments anymore. However the sound of the last instrument shone in my ears. What stuck with me however was how he played the flute. Not only did he play it like normal, but he also took out the head joint, and used his finger like a slide whistle to create different notes and from there, I was sold. For sure, there could be nothing better. It led to my parents buying my first flute which then fueled my passion for performing with others and sharing musical experiences. I had the same band teacher from 5th to 9th grade and many concerts I had since then had felt like firsts because he was always trying to give us new experiences like playing for the holidays or participating in competitions. Throughout those years, I had the pleasure of seeing him outside of being an educator which was being a musician. The first jazz performance I had seen was him playing in a group with his saxophone and flute. Then he did it again, the one move that changed the course of my life, the head joint slide whistle. It was like watching it again for the first time but this time, in context of a higher end performance. The difference was that I had a greater appreciation as I understood the technicalities of the instrument and how hard it was to actually do that and sound good. Fast forward 8 years, My husband is driving me to the tailors to pick up my dress while I'm transposing a flute duet on my laptop. We arrive to my school but although I told my family the start time was 30 minutes before the actual time, Filipino time struck harder and they were still 15 minutes late. I am able to calm some of my nerves when I see friends in the lobby and one of them helps me get my gown on in the bathroom. I'm in my pink shimmering gown I just picked up from the tailor that morning. My flute in my hand and only socks on my feet because I had always practiced in socks (even during my private lessons because there was a nice rug my teachers room). "I'm ready!" I told the concert managers and they opened the doors. I walk on stage to see my friends, family, private students, and teachers in the audience. After 30 minutes of a sweaty performance, 5 minutes of panicking and missing a piece (which was resolved), and a duet with my husband playing trumpet I was done with my recital. The recital that caused me anxiety, tears, debt, and could cost me my degree, I was able to complete it looking into my husband eyes and smiling because even after every negative thing that did happen, when I let the nerves pass I was able to absorb the moment and appreciation from everyone I love. Why was this specific moment so special to me? It was because most concerts I performed in were for strangers but my recital being exclusively for people I know made it more intimate and joyful to share wonderful music.

"I'll be right back!" I told my friends cheerfully then I hung up the Facetime. I proceeded to cry furiously so that my absence wouldn't inconvenience my group but also, I felt that my being there didn't add anything either. We were working on a composition piece during COVID and being a college musician, I had terrible imposter syndrome that felt like a slap and a backhand whenever I thought about my actions. I would feel horrible about my failures and assume my success was luck. At the time, I couldn't get an appointment with my school's therapist and I couldn't call my hospital's therapist back after a missed call because they had their number blocked. Am I able to cope better with my imposter syndrome now? Yes. But it wasn't through therapy because it cost my most valuable currency, time. Although I could not give time outside of music to give to mental health, the music community was able to provide care to me. When I joined the Facetime call again, I felt relief through our interactions. My flute teacher and conductor were able to help instill confidence within myself and my playing. I would create a non-profit program where there are a community of music instructors who are able to travel to students home or school sites to help relieve stress and time for families who cannot travel, students with extra curriculars, and music teachers who especially teach beginner students and need assistance in teaching multiple instruments.