VIDEO PIECE ATTACHED BELOW: For most of my life I was afraid to create. I was intimidated By all the “rules” one had to learn to make “quality” art, and quite frankly I was scared of the vulnerability that came along with it. I was a closeted trans-girl living on Staten Island was constantly asking myself if there was a space for me to fully express the variegated spectrum of messy and honest feelings I had at the time. I believed this to be how things were bound to be for the rest of my life, until I discovered that there was in fact an outlet I could use to express all of these truths; Experimental Animation. Seeing the works of animators like Sally Cruikshank and Kathy Rose allowed me to see that creativity is at its best when it’s unfettered by the modern ideas of standards and norms. These films didn’t simply ignore the standard, they directly rebelled against them, both in their visuals and meanings. These films weren’t what many would consider “perfect”, but the boldness at which they attempted to push the boundaries of the medium, all while being so beautifully vulnerable, showed me that if I had an idea I so desperately wanted to create, I should do it. Learning animation with this mindset was exciting. I embraced the messiness of my works as an expression of my own authenticity. A few months ago I finished my first full film which I attached in a link below. I had endless fun utilizing mediums that I never had before, throwing as much inside as I could fit to fully let loose my creativity. I’d be lying however, if I said I didn’t feel a little trepidation when I first started working on it. I knew before I began that I wanted to create a film that encapsulated all of the fear, confusion, and love I experienced as a trans-woman. By the end of the process I felt no such trepidation at all, only hope that my film might one day reach someone the way all those other experimental animators works reached me. It was difficult work but now that it’s complete I feel confident to say that it exemplifies everything I believe experimentation in art is all about: Doing something no one else has done before, and doing so in a voice that’s truly “you”.