Existential OCD. That was one of several thing my therapist told me I have. Existential OCD is a subset of OCD where the obsessive, unwanted thoughts all have to do with questions about death, morality, and the potential for an afterlife. This diagnosis, out of all of them, is probably the ones I'd consider to put the biggest amount of my life into perspective: the nights where I'd have panic attacks about whether I was good enough to go to Heaven, the times where I was sure I'd done something that couldn't be forgiven even by a God described as loving, the countless stories I'd written where death and grief were at the forefront. It all made sense.
But it didn't make things easier. Not right away. I had confirmation: my thoughts weren't necessarily rational. Great. Unfortunately, there was still the matter of coping. So what did I do?
I thought even more about it. Every story I write (and I write a lot, since I'm going to college for it) has something involving death or souls or where we go after we die. Every time I go to church or look at a bible, I look through what it says about morality.
But most of all, every time I go outside at night, I look to the stars. This will always either calm me down or make my anxiety worse, but when I look up at the night sky, I'm reminded that it's one moment. One of many. And this reframing is so important to my mental health.
The other thing I do? I share. My friends and family have plenty of struggles to go around, so we often end up leaning on each other for it.
All of these methods in dealing with my brain have helped my with my goals. First, it solidified to me that I need to live life. Everyone dies, and we don't know what, if anything, happens directly after. But when we find out, then I hope it'll bring a sense of understanding to the world.
Second, it reminded me why I write: to connect with people. When I share my stories, I do it with the hope that others might feel seen, and with that, they'll realize they aren't alone.
Finally, it reminds me that I'm not alone. I don't have to keep all this confusion and grief and restlessness inside. I don't have to let it bury me under its weight. And even if I do, I have people who will dig me out.
It's still hard sometimes. It never really stop. There are still plenty of times where it feels like my heart is trying to rip itself from my body. But it gets better. And that's what's most important.