By no means have I lived a perfect life, addiction and substance abuse have held me down for the past four years. I was drowning in my own sadness and despair searching for a quick sort of relief. I failed to dessert my sense of reason and made excuses for myself leaving me stuck in and endless loop. Needing to rely on a substance to make one's self feel better is absolutely exhausting. Feelings of gloom, worthlessness, and disappointing love ones were constantly on my mind. I never thought that I would amount to anything or make a difference in this world. And selfishly I had given up on life to the point where I was ready to end my own. I didn't care who would be sad if I was gone. I didn't even care about anything at all anymore...all because of drugs. They really change you and change the way that you think and feel. Making one numb to logical thinking and reasoning. Even though this past was rough for myself I am grateful for the experiences I have had. Being so low made me change and appreciate my life and evaluate myself. I have been to absolute rock bottom and because of this I know where I hope to go. I've been clean for a couple months and I hope to turn months to years. I hope to be successful and set and example for others just like myself. Finishing school is my biggest goal and I will be successful as long as I apply myself. Coming from a past where I was unable to take care of myself and make poor decisions, strengthens the determination I have to make my hopes become reality. I hope to get good grades, graduate with a bachelors degree, and be successful overall in life. By accomplishing my academic goals I will have completed my goal of proving to others like myself that anything is possible. I will prove that even though a person whom has made many mistakes and didn't believe in themselves can still find a way to rise and to be successful. There may be quite a few hopes that I now have but, that is because I can only hope for the world after having none at all. So, I say again once more I hope to be the sober and successful role model that I would have need when I was at my lowest.