(CS = computer science)
“Mama, ¡por favor! Don’t go!” I cried, gently tugging on her brown leather jacket. Raindrops pummeled my bare face, making me squint to see her silhouette in the darkness of the cold night. One by one, she began reluctantly loading her belongings onto our old grey minivan.
“I’ll see you soon, mijito,” my mother despairingly said as she wiped the tears trickling down her cheeks. She pulled me into her arms, and I tightly held her, knowing this might be the last time I ever could. Seconds later, she jumped into the driver’s seat, and the engine roared to life. Before I could say goodbye, the old grey minivan began driving out of sight.
My mind raced with questions. Why was my mother leaving? Why didn’t I go with her? Flashbacks to towers of late rent bills and the rumble of my sisters’ empty stomachs made one thing clear: she had to.
Ever since I was born, LA’s high rent prices pushed our family onto the brink of homelessness. We lived our life on a coin toss—heads or tails deciding whether we’d pay our monthly rent or groceries. This life meant the roof above my head changed faster than the clothes on my body. It meant doing multiplication tables on the cold pavement while waiting for a bed at the shelter. That rainy night, my mother finally reached her limit and moved to Utah in pursuit of a better life.
With my mother gone, my home felt scattered beyond physical confines. However, the emotional sanctuary I yearned for, I discovered in my second home: school. Here, I raced through kinematics problems and sneaked into the computer lab, my hands flying over the keyboards. This home I found in the flickering, fluorescent-lighted hallways and weary, purple-colored walls gave me a sense of belonging. However, the small source of stability I was beginning to gather became intercepted by a looming decision: Do I stay in LA with my father or leave for Utah to be reunited with my mother?
I chose LA.
After months of watery eyes and harrowing headaches produced by images and long phone calls about life without my mother, everything suddenly clicked and LA’s charm finally shone through. The allure was in the cultural respite of a vibrant Mexican community--in the reality of giving my sister a better education and in taking care of my diabetic father. Aside from this, there was another glaringly obvious gift in my stay: opportunity. LA welcomed my curiosity with open arms, preserving my interest in social equity through campaign initiatives, and fostering my computer science passion through LACCD courses and community programs. Most of all, LA allowed me to finally see that education was my golden ticket to giving my family a better life.
Once here, I focused on making my sacrifice worthwhile. Whether I was making my daily hour-and-a-half voyage to and from school or passing street corners filled with candles reminding me of friends taking too early by gun violence, I never let my circumstances keep me from pursuing CS.
I persevered through countless CS lectures at the local community college on everything from object-oriented programming to data structures. I conducted graduate-level research on using artificial intelligence to optimize multi-robot systems at USC Viterbi. I even learned to and built a mobile application where teenagers can learn their rights in a fun, interactive, and centralized platform. LA’s resources allowed me to slowly carve my place within the computer science community.
Yet my CS journey still feels like a jigsaw puzzle with a missing piece.
Although grateful for the opportunities, the missing piece is a dream of going beyond the limited curriculum. It’s the dream of using what I learned through my hardships alongside my computer science education to combat the societal issues I faced. That is why I eagerly await the opportunity to attend a university to fulfill this ambition. And one day, using all the experiences and wisdom I gained from my professors and peers, I will return to South Los Angeles not only to inspire future generations of FGLI students to pursue the wonders of CS but to empower them with the tools needed to break through every socio-economic barrier standing in our way.
As I embark on my college journey, I will always remember the sight of that old grey minivan driving away. However, instead of viewing it, and the hardships I went through, as moments of weakness, I see them now as defining moments of strength and inspiration.
The next time my mother sees me, I won’t be on the ground, begging her, “Mama, don’t go!” Instead, I will be walking across the graduation stage, as the first in my family’s history to do so, calmly telling her, “Mama, we did it.”