My biological parents divorced when I was in kindergarten, leaving me to live with my biological father (who was at the time a truck driver), and a little brother and sister(3 and 1). I myself was only 5, and was forced to become the ‘mother’ in a way, caring for my younger siblings while my biological father was on the road.
Life during that time was very hard for me. I was the oldest, so it was my responsibility to make sure my baby siblings were okay, and it was also my responsibility to make sure my grades were good, the house was somewhat clean, there was a lot, but somehow I managed. I’m sure that many people raised by a single father- or even a blended family like mine would eventually become- have many great stories to tell about how their single parents love, or the love from a new parent, taught them kindness, and that is how they were impacted. I love that those are stories that other people can claim, however unfortunately that is not my story.
My biological parents had not been prepared to be married, and had certainly not been ready to have children,so after not even 6 years of marriage, they divorced. Soon after, because my father could not raise us on the road with him, my grandmother (who did not like kids or noise, not a good combination when you’re attempting to raise three young children during the day) was brought in to ‘raise’ my siblings and me. So most of my early childhood was spent going to school trying to make sure no one knew what my home life was, and the most of my time at home was spent trying to make sure that my siblings and I were quiet enough to not set off my grandmother. However, we soon traded one awful mother figure for another when my father remarried 4 years after his first divorce.
My (now ex) stepmother did not like my siblings and me. She had no love for any of us, and made that clear every chance she got. My father let her, in fact, he would join in often in showing his displeasure at our existence. We were viewed as burdens. My stepsisters, and later my half sisters, were not treated this way, and gradually the three of us (my biological siblings and me) realised that we were just carry-on, leftover luggage from his former marriage that our father no longer wanted. So, I stepped up again. I had to be a rock for my little siblings (my babies as I would call them), I learned to put others first. I learned to listen, to be there, to comfort, to heal and help.
My point is this, my family was awful, but it taught me valuable lessons in life and in kindness.I am out of that family now, with a firm dedication to being the opposite of my biological parents and ex stepmother. In seeing them I learned what I should never do if I wanted to be a good person, and I’ve learned from their mistakes. Living through what I did lead me to wanting to teach history, because as a history teacher I will be able to not only teach the future generations how small events can change the world and how we can learn from others mistakes, but also be able to offer the less fortunate children- like I was- a safe space, so they can also heal, and maybe one day they can help others like us.