When I was just a baby, my mother was shot while trying to protect a friend. During her long recovery, my aunt and grandmother stepped in to raise me. My grandmother struggled with alcoholism, but even in the midst of her own battle, she did the best she could to care for me. My aunt, still a teenager herself, became the person I clung to. She was my second mother, my safe place, and my best friend. Growing up, I was always by her side at school events, errands, even just around the house. She didn’t just take care of me she poured love into me, and for a while, it felt like we were healing together. But when she was around 19, her boyfriend was killed due to gun violence. That moment changed her. It was as if a switch flipped in her mind, and something deep inside her dimmed. Even as she moved forward in life, a part of her never fully returned. Years later, she met someone new, and they were together for four years, He will always be family. Then in 2019, he was also killed—once again, due to gun violence. That loss broke something in her. Having already lost her father and first love to the same tragedy, this third loss was too much to carry. She turned to alcohol to cope, and her addiction quickly took over. The person I once leaned on now needed help to do even the simplest tasks. Watching her lose herself was heartbreaking. I felt helpless, confused, and angry. But I also understood that her pain was deeper than what anyone could see. Living through this taught me how substance abuse is often a symptom of deeper wounds—grief, trauma, and cycles of violence that go unhealed in many Black families. It showed me the cracks in our systems: how there is little emotional support for African American women, how grief is often silenced, and how addiction becomes a coping mechanism when therapy is not accessible or culturally safe. These experiences have shaped my future. I plan to pursue a degree in psychology with the goal of becoming a licensed therapist specializing in trauma care for adolescents and women of color. I want to be a part of breaking these generational cycles, not just in my family but in my community. My education will not just prepare me to provide care, but to transform it, by advocating for culturally competent mental health resources, creating safe spaces for open dialogue, and helping Black women understand that they are not alone in their pain. My life has been deeply impacted by violence and addiction, but I’ve also seen what love, healing, and support can do. I want to be the person that shows up when others are breaking, just like my aunt once showed up for me. This journey is not just about my career, it’s about rewriting the story for African American women who have been told to survive in silence. I’m choosing to speak, to study, and to serve, so others can find strength in their stories, too

As I reflect on my childhood, I remember having big dreams and aspirations as a young girl. I held onto unrealistic dreams, like imagining myself as a princess, and also envisioned a life of sophistication and wealth as a black woman. I longed for a future without struggles, hoping for a life where everything would fall into place effortlessly. However, the reality of my upbringing was vastly different. I grew up in a single-income household, where my mother faced numerous challenges as the sole provider. Financial struggles were a constant part of our lives, and I witnessed my mother's unwavering determination to ensure that our bills were paid and we had enough to eat. Despite her own hardships, she made sure that I never went without. Living in predominantly low-income neighborhoods exposed me to street violence, homelessness, and other issues that my mother tried to shield me from. She worked tirelessly to keep me on the right path, and I feel fortunate to have had a mother who always made things happen, even in the face of adversity. This upbringing has molded me into a resilient, intelligent, and empathetic young woman. I have a deep passion for helping young people discover their true identities and connect with their roots. Inner peace and self-discovery are values that I hold dear, and I am committed to breaking generational cycles and empowering others. It took me a while to cultivate this mindset, as I often found myself feeling disillusioned and yearning for a perfect life. However, I came to the realization that perfection is an illusion and that imperfections exist in every aspect of life. I also began to contemplate my future career path and knew that I wanted to pursue a degree in psychology. My desire to become a therapist for adolescents stems from my innate ability to listen to and support my friends. I aspire to offer hope and mentorship, helping others overcome their insecurities without fear of judgment. Having experienced overwhelming challenges myself, I am eager for the opportunity to inspire and guide others, encouraging them to pay it forward and help those in need. I have come to understand that there is no such thing as a perfect life, but I remain steadfast in my aspirations to become the empowered and sophisticated black woman I have always dreamed of being. Going to college and achieving my dreams means breaking generational curses, overcoming childhood trauma, making my mother proud, achieving success, and being the first in my family to do so.

As I read through the pages and pages of my old journal , a wave of nostalgia crashed upon me, as I recounted my battle with mental health. The pages called to me , as the ink of my pen slowly reached the paper aching for another journal entry . In a matter of minutes , seconds, even milliseconds I had filled the page with memories and emotions of my life thus far. September 20,2023 “Am I a bad person? Am I enough?” I tend to ask myself that alot . I felt like I did everything I could just to please the people around me, but the same thoughts of being a bad person would return. There have been multiple days I found myself angry at the world and at myself, but at the end of the day I always kept a smile on my face to hide my pain. Having my feelings bottled up made me feel like I couldn't speak to anyone about my emotions without having the feeling of im doing something wrong. The 11th grade is when things took a turn. I always over thought, first about the little stuff and then it turned into everything. There became a point where I was distancing myself from the people I care for, pushing them away, all because of the thoughts I had. My mental health had declined and it was affecting my daily life, my relationships, and school. I didn't feel worthy, I felt like I wasn't in the right state of mind. Mental health wasn't something often brought up in my household, the attitude my family has is “it is what it is”. Growing up in a black household as a young girl, school was a top priority - nothing else. Ever since I was young my family would always keep track of my grades. I was rewarded based on how my performance was at school. Being set with these high standards in addition to my mental health especially throughout my junior year. When I tried to express myself to close ones, they never really seemed to understand what I was trying to say. It's always a ''it will be ok in the long run” or ”oh, well I hope you feel better eventually” that made me think that no one cared to understand how I was feeling, even when I did my best to make sure everyone else was well. Journaling made me realize that there are so many outlets to express yourself. Journaling was one of the many forms of self expression that did it for me.no judgment, no criticism ; it was just me, my pen , my diary and my thoughts. I realized that I was done being in my head all I wanted was positive energy ; a clean slate. It has helped me reduce my anxiety. It was a break away from the non stop thinking, it helped me have control over my emotions. I felt myself in a happier state. I felt free and rejuvenated. My experience with mental health shaped my goals by not wanting anyone to feel how I felt. If it were up to me I would save the whole world. I begin to think about how other teenagers dealt with situations similar to mine. In addition to that. I also knew that I needed to start thinking about what career I wanted to pursue in the future, I already knew it was going to be a psychology degree. Me wanting to become a therapist for adolescents comes from me wanting to give others hope when they feel hopeless. I want to be a mentor; someone they can look up to. Helping them overcome their self consciousness without feeling judged or ridiculed. Going through what I did during junior year knowing that life can get overwhelming at times, I can't wait for the time where I'll be inspiring others so they can go out in the world and pay it forward by helping others.

Growing up as a girl I always had big hopes and dreams, Some being unrealistic like becoming a princess. Other dreams of wanting to be a rich and sophisticated black woman whose life was perfect. I hoped to have no struggles when I became an adult. I come from a single-income home with a lot of struggles that come with having a one-parent household. My upbringing was more on the less fortunate side of the community as I was younger I could remember my mom struggling to make sure bills were paid and I had food in my mouth. She always made sure I didn't need anything even when I could tell she was struggling. growing up in predominantly low-income neighborhoods there was a lot Of street violence, homelessness, and numerous other things that my mother tried to shadow me from. My mother always made sure I was on the right path when raising me. I would say I was blessed with a mother who always made things happen even if she struggled to do so. That’s why I would describe myself as a very strong, smart, soft-spoken, intelligent young lady, who loves herself and others, someone who has a passion for helping young teens express their inner self-identification, who they are, or where they came from understanding the layers of their actions. I would say I am someone who loves peace. Someone who thinks that protecting your spirit is very important. I am passionate about elevating and breaking generational cycles. I am a well-rounded young lady who believes in herself and other qualities. I am a firm believer that anything is possible if you have the mindset, will, and desire to dedicate your time to it. It took me a long time to actually get to the mindset I have now. There have been multiple days I found myself angry at the world and at myself, probably because I didn’t have the “picture perfect life” but at the end of the day I always kept a smile on my face to hide my pain. It took me a long time to realize that there is no such thing as a picture perfect life; there are flaws everywhere in the world. I also knew that I needed to start thinking about what career plans I wanted to pursue in the future. I already knew it was going to be a psychology degree that stemmed from always wanting to hear my friend's feelings, thoughts or opinions. Me wanting to become a therapist for adolescents realistically comes from me wanting to give others hope when they feel hopeless. I want to be a mentor; someone they can look up to. Helping them overcome their self consciousness without feeling judged or ridiculed. Going through what I did knowing that life can get overwhelming at times, I can't deny that I am not waiting for the time where I'll be inspiring others so they can go out in the world and pay it forward by helping others. Realizing there isnt no such a thing as a picture perfect life not then , not now, and not in the future when I grow up to be that rich and sophisticated black woman i've always dreamed to be.