My experience with my mental health completely changed over the past year. It's had a significant impact on my beliefs and career aspirations. Growing up, I was a happy kid who never struggled with my emotions or not knowing how to deal with them. That changed when my mom got diagnosed with ALS in my 2nd grade year. Over the next few years, I slowly began feeling more and more alone. Right before the end of my 5th grade year, she passed away. From then until the middle of my junior year of high school, I felt like my life had no light and no hope. From the week after my mom died in 2018 until this past year, I saw no way out. The pain started just not wanting to be here without my mom, but around 7th grade, it started to be about hating who I was. It wasn't just about wanting to be with my mom anymore; I wanted to be anywhere but here. I didn't want to feel this way anymore. I tried so many things to get rid of all the pain I carried. I lost faith in any higher power for a long time. The only time I prayed was to ask God to take my life away from me or at least give me the courage to do it myself. I never knew why, but something in the back of my mind always told me no. Out of everything I hated about myself, not having that courage was the part I hated the most. I turned to self-harm and substances to shift the pain from my mind to anywhere else. But over time, things kept getting worse. I began losing friends, and my relationship with my family was strained. After many failed attempts with different medications, I decided that I would try one final time at the end of 2023. It is now 2024, and I can say that my life has never been so different. I never imagined that I would not only see the light that this world has to offer but also feel comfortable enough to share my story to help others. Although I would never wish this kind of pain and suffering on anyone, I have come out of it having learned so much. The two most impactful changes I've experienced are in my beliefs and my plans for the future. Over the past year, I have developed a relationship with God. For so long, I wanted to blame God for taking my mom away and leaving me so alone. Looking back, I realize He was with me the whole time, even when I didn't know it. He was the voice in my head telling me to stay and just wait. He had given me hope even when I didn't realize I had any. For most of my life, I was either too young to think about my future, or too lost to believe I had one. Now, I have so many plans that I look forward to. A career was the last thing on my mind, but now I am preparing to go to the University of Kentucky for special education teaching. Having a mom with ALS inspired me to become an advocate for people who can't speak for themselves. I want to be the voice for those with special needs and to support their families while raising awareness. I am incredibly grateful that I made it to where I am now and that I can finally share my story.

ALS is by far the worst thing to have happened to my family. It stole so much from us and took away my mom, Carrey Dewey. She was an angel even on earth but I know she is MY angel, forever watching over me. Losing her was excruciating, but watching ALS take over every aspect of her life, of our lives, was an indescribable feeling. Her journey with ALS has forever changed me. It changed me as a person, as a friend, and as a daughter. Most importantly, it changed my everyday life. I no longer have the person who brought me into this world by my side. I can't run to my mom when I need advice or somebody to cry to. ALS took her from me before she got to watch me grow up. My mom adored her role as a mom. It was her biggest accomplishment. I’ve always wanted to make her proud because I know if she were here, she would push me to be the best version of myself. She would encourage me to work for what I want, play fair, forgive, and trust the Lord's plan. Since she passed away, I’ve been hoping to find one decent thing to come out of ALS. Although nothing will ever take away the heartache, I have found peace in helping people. For years, I took care of my mom and it has inspired me to continue taking care of people who can’t take care of themselves. I want to be a voice for those who can't speak. I want to be the hands for those who can’t use their own. I want to help people the same way everyone helped my mom. I am honored to have had her in my life for the time I did. I am forever grateful to be her daughter. She used to tell me, “Even when you can’t see me or hear me, I will always be with you in your heart.” And I truly believe that she is. She has continuously watched over me even through the toughest times. This scholarship would have a huge impact on my college education. I want to make a difference in people’s lives. Many nurses and caregivers stayed by my mom’s side and I want to be that person for somebody else. My dad has always done his best to support me and my sibling’s goals. While he can contribute to my college expenses, having scholarships is crucial. It would help ensure that my dad can send all of us to college and take away the financial strain that has been put on him.