One summer afternoon when I was in elementary school, I found myself crouched on my driveway. My hands were shiny and black from charcoal, smudges running across my face. In front of me lay a sketch. I tilted my head, deciding my sketch needed color, got up, and ran into the garage. I scrutinized shelves, moved bike helmets and shoes, and peered into baskets. Despite my efforts, I could not find any scraps of chalk, so I returned to my drawing. I knew I wanted to color the drawing, but how? Without chalk, I had no easy solution. I could use pebbles but they were too small and it would take far too long to scrape my drawing with color. Then, I got an idea. I plucked a long blade of grass and rubbed it on the driveway. It left a mark! I scurried around the yard collecting different colored plants: grape hyacinths, dandelions, rose petals, and leaves. The rose petals and grape hyacinths didn't leave much pigment but the dandelions and grass were vibrant. I colored my drawing using the flora I had found. I found joy in my creative solution and had many other somewhat successful ideas. Growing up in the countryside surrounded by nature was always inspiring. The rolling mountains, the beautiful hikes, everything was as perfect as I could hope for. I hope to deepen my appreciation for the natural arts that stem from nature and learn to capture the essence of the beauty of the world in my art. In college, I plan to pursue a crafts and material studies major, studying the arts of clay, wood, and metalworking. I hope with these skills I can show people how I view the world and shed some light on the beauty of the Shenandoah valley.

I worked on this piece for several months related to my arc of sexuality, understanding, and coming out. Fall of 2020, I started to question my sexuality, I had previously assumed I was straight, and never questioned that I could be wrong. I had never dated anyone or even come close. However, when I started to realize that I possibly liked a girl as more than a friend, it was strange, exciting, but mostly scary. I knew most of my friends would be accepting, as the majority of my friends are queer, but despite that comfort, I also had to face my feelings. I had always assumed I would date guys, and marry a man, but that thought was challenged when I started realizing that I might not find guys attractive In any way. While self-discovery is exciting and shows you your inner self, and your thoughts and values, it is also scary. Coming out to my parents is easily the hardest thing I have ever done, and honestly, I am still not sure if it went well or not; but the freedom of being myself to anyone I come across is worth any uncertainty. While this painting is not my best art piece in technical terms, it is the most meaningful to me, and my story. I hope in the future, I can tell the stories of other people and offer them a meaningful art piece that they can find resonance and comfort in, as I have found in my own work.

One summer afternoon when I was in elementary school, I found myself crouched on my driveway. My hands were shiny and black from charcoal, smudges running across my face. In front of me lay a drawing of a face. I tilted my head, deciding my sketch needed color, got up, and ran into the garage. I scrutinized shelves, moving bike helmets and shoes, peering into baskets, and glancing behind my dad’s woodworking machinery. Despite my efforts, I could not find any scraps of chalk, so I turned back around and returned to my drawing. I knew I wanted to color the drawing, but how? Without chalk, I had no easy solution. I could use pebbles but they were too small and it would take far too long to scrape my drawing with color. Then, I got an idea. I plucked a long blade of grass and rubbed it on the driveway. It left a green mark! I scurried around the yard collecting different colored plants: grape hyacinths, dandelions, rose petals, and leaves. The rose petals and grape hyacinths didn't leave much pigment but the dandelions and grass were vibrant. I colored my drawing using the flowers and leaves I had found. I found joy in my creative solution and had many other somewhat successful ideas (making paint out of rocks being one of my favorites). While these experiments were very childish and simple, they gave me a craving to find new ways to think and create art. Growing up tucked away from most nearby towns in port republic Virginia, the beauty of the Shenandoah valley was always inspiring. the endless colors in the plants, the rolling mountains, the beautiful hikes, everything was as perfect as an artistic and outdoorsy child could hope for. While I will live in a city for college, I hope to deepen my appreciation for the natural arts that stem from nature and learn to capture the essence of the beauty of the world in my art. In college, I plan to pursue a crafts and material studies major, studying the arts of clay, wood, and metalworking. I hope with these skills I can show people how I view the world and shed some light on the beauty of the Shenandoah valley.

Before covid, my normal schedule included going from classes to drawing live portraits, to track, to acting in the high school play. I was around people all day. When school went online, my social life vanished. With both the stress of the pandemic and the expectations of social distancing my mom had enforced, I was afraid to plan any visits with my friends. I could still text and call them, but the lack of physical contact threw me off balance, and my mental health suffered. Summer of 2020 was lonely and depressing. I watched my closest friends going on camping trips, hiking, and having an all-around pleasant experience while I was left to only hear about the exciting adventures. Carrying into the school year, I found my normal routines had depended on extracurriculars in the past, and without them, I was forced to learn how to manage my time and mental health without enforcement from anyone but myself. During my junior year, I struggled to maintain a healthy sleep schedule. My motivation to do any schoolwork had vanished and I found myself with lower grades than ever before. While I still had objectively decent grades, I was left with little self-worth. I felt hopeless, alone, and broken. While it felt horrible at the time, I see now how much I learned about myself from this period of forced self-discovery; what keeps me motivated, how I can take care of myself, and what is actually important to me.

Recently, I read Untamed, a book by Glennon Doyle, which talks about her experience as a mother, a wife, a woman, and a gay influencer. While reading this book many things stuck to me; her belief that life can be as beautiful and true as we want it to be, her idea that women have been tamed by society and can learn to become untamed, wild, and free, and her connection from religion and inner trust. Being quarantined had taken away my regular routine, extracurriculars, and other outlets for my stress, leaving me with no idea what would provide me with happiness and motivation. I was adjusting to changes in school life and friendships while also searching for strategies to relieve my built-up stress. I wanted my thoughts to stand still. I started painting on nights I couldn’t sleep, trying to capture my emotions and understand my own thoughts. I felt as though I would never escape my endless thoughts. looking back on this time in my life, my fear and restlessness came from my inner voice telling me something was wrong, I have worked hard to bring myself an improved mental state, I will keep learning about my life and finding new ways to become untamed, but for now, I will continue to reference Glennon's advice and try and become a wild and free human.