Autism, tumors, and absence shaped my childhood.
I grew up in an unstable household in which my father was constantly physically and emotionally absent. Unfortunately, that is not a rare occurrence in our day and age, but my situation was unique in two ways. When I was 3 years old, my 6-year-old older brother had just been diagnosed with autism, this is unique fact number one. Not long after, when I was about to be 6 years old, doctors found a tumor wrapped around my 3-year-old younger brother’s spinal cord, this is unique fact number two. My family’s situation was not ordinary with our lack of stable parents and children with life-changing health disorders.
I learned from a very young age the meaning of selflessness and adaptability. I could not participate in sports outside of school because my parents could not afford it nor was there anyone to take me to the practices and competitions, so I told my mom I would play in our backyard instead. I could not play with my brothers the traditional way that children do. My older brother did not understand how to socialize, regardless of my mom’s endless efforts in therapy. My younger brother was bed-bound and limited in the physical activity he could do for years. So, I played caregiver and impersonated my mom with her maternal duties as she took care of my brothers. To me, this was a game, but in a few short years, I would finally understand that this situation was my life and was not quite considered traditional.
I was shy in school during my younger years, however, I was kind and intelligent. I learned compassion from my experiences with my older brother and the patience from me he needed to learn or socialize and from the experiences of frequently visiting the hospital that my brother was in during the process of his tumor removal and interacting with children who had cancer. I believe my intelligence resulted from the early “feeding” of my curiosity. My older brother’s academic tutors often tasked me with the same assignment as my older brother, even though I was not in school yet.
When I reached middle school I realized my passion for helping others. During 7th grade, I wanted to be a special education teacher. However, my mother sat me down once when I brought up this career idea and explained to me that it was a lovely idea to be a teacher, especially to kids with mental in-capabilities, but I should not base my entire life on the limitations of my older brother. She advised me that it was necessary and completely okay for me to explore possibilities on my own and find a passion that I love, even if it was not in special education. After years of thought about this life lesson, I have made my interpretation and now understand why I originally settled on the idea of special education. I was determined to be nothing like my father. I wanted to have a deep root in my family and prove it with something tangible, but now I understand that our roots are in our spirit and mind and do not need to be proven. As for the lesson my mother gave me, I realized I needed to take advantage of all the opportunities I could that my older brother cannot. I needed to be grateful for the chances I have been given that my brother has not. I understand I have created the life path I am currently on through continuous hard work and perseverance, however, I acknowledge that I would not have had this ambition if not for the reminder that I am more fortunate than others. I have been inspired to take on an ambitious life. Yet, I have not lost my desire to help. So instead of teaching as a career, I participate in community service. As for a career, I still am determined to help people, perhaps not directly, but I want to help communities across the country by becoming an environmental engineer and tackling water issues and crises.