Mast cell disease has a way of dismantling certainty. A few rogue cells can suddenly upend an entire day’s plans, replacing a to-do list of activities with hours spent taming a fury of symptoms with antihistamines and epinephrine. Like many living with mast cell disorders, I have had to learn to accept the unpredictability of life with my condition. While this has challenged my goals and day-to-day life in significant ways, I am deeply grateful for the ways my condition has taught me to live fully despite uncertainty. When I was first diagnosed with Mast Cell Activation Syndrome, the lack of predictability it brought felt like the enemy. It demanded constant vigilance and forced me to interrupt my carefully laid-out plans to become a medical doctor. After months of living at the mercy of some very unsettled mast cells, I finally realized that I could either allow my condition to define the limits of my life or learn to embrace uncertainty by charting my own course forward. As a pre-medical student, I was hyperfixated on productivity, juggling rigorous academic coursework alongside internships and work in healthcare. Embracing life despite the unpredictability of my mast cell disorder required a fundamental shift in my perspective. I had to learn to measure my days not by productivity, but by moments that brought meaning and joy. With this change in perspective, my fiancé and I began to notice the value in life’s smallest moments as we found glimmers of happiness and hope in experiences others might consider mundane and ordinary. Elaborate weekend dates and spontaneous road trips were replaced by rediscovering fun and adventure in everyday life. From tie-dyeing shirts in the comfort of our backyard to preparing romantic dinner dates at home, we uncovered joy in unexpected ways, even as we continued to navigate the challenges of my condition. Adapting to a new pace of life that was less focused on collecting resume line items and more focused on savoring small moments taught me the value of embracing each day as it comes. This perspective helped me face the more difficult aspects of living with a mast cell disorder with resilience, perseverance, and hope. It also allowed me to release the pressure of rigid timelines by instead choosing to progress toward my goals at a pace that respects my body’s needs. Over time, celebrating life’s small adventures and victories strengthened the relationship shared by my fiancé and me. Years later, we are celebrating two years of marriage, and we are both only months away from earning our medical degrees. These milestones were achieved not by racing against the clock, but by learning to move forward thoughtfully and intentionally, encouraging each other each step of the way. When I was first learning to live with Mast Cell Activation Syndrome, each day felt like a threat to my plans and ambitions. Learning to embrace uncertainty has allowed me to build meaningful memories, discover new definitions of success, and pursue my dreams without the pressure of arbitrary timelines and endless to-do lists. I am grateful that mast cell disease taught me how to find meaning despite uncertainty. As a future physician, I hope to help others facing the unpredictability of complex and chronic illness learn to navigate life with an open outlook, even when their health places obstacles in their paths. By using the lessons I have learned from my time as a patient, I am eager to point my future patients toward ways to find joy, purpose, and adventure by celebrating small victories and savoring life’s most meaningful moments, even when health issues arise.

In August 2022, I sat down at my desk and opened my laptop to begin studying for the first time as a new medical student. Years of long study nights during my undergraduate education, countless hours spent shadowing doctors I admired, and numerous exams and applications had finally paid off. I was the closest I had ever been to achieving my dream of becoming a physician. As I sat at my desk and began to review the biochemistry lecture from my first day of medical school, I felt a sense of pride as I reflected on my journey. However, just moments later, this feeling was interrupted by intense itching all over my body. Within 20 minutes, this itchiness had progressed to hives, difficulty swallowing, and abdominal cramps. A sense of doom came upon me as my heart began to race and my blood pressure dropped. I reached for my epinephrine autoinjector and knew my study session would have to wait. Instead of going to my university’s hospital to study, I would arrive there shortly as a patient. During my first year at West Virginia University School of Medicine, I experienced 13 episodes of severe mast-cell-mediated reactions. The days in between those reactions were focused on coping with their lingering effects, both physical and mental. Navigating mast cell activation syndrome while managing a full courseload tested my resilience and perseverance. I had to learn to balance my priorities, often having to forgo time to study to tend to more emergent health needs. Learning to pace myself, rest, and turn to others for support was crucial to improving my health during this trying time. However, the uncertainty of when my next reaction would occur and the fear of what could trigger severe symptoms still lingered. I watched as my fiancé took on additional responsibility to ensure that potential triggers were minimized and all my emergency medications were ready to go at all times. The mental toll of remaining continually watchful for triggers and symptoms began to impact us. It wasn’t until I got connected with a knowledgeable immunologist that we both began to breathe a little easier - in both the physical and metaphorical sense for me. My immunologist served as a guide, pointing me toward a future where my life was not ruled by rogue mast cells. She took the time to listen, infused each encounter with compassion, and offered care that significantly reduced my symptoms. After 11 months of ongoing reactions, I had finally reached a point where my symptoms were well-controlled, and for the first time, I was able to shift my focus back to my goal of becoming a doctor. From seeking to balance my priorities to remaining adaptable when faced with adversity, living with Mast Cell Activation Syndrome has taught me many things. Among these things is the importance of empathy and compassion for others, particularly as a future healthcare professional. My immunologist played a crucial role in helping me achieve control over my symptoms, and the empathy she provided offered much-needed reassurance during a time that felt very uncertain. As someone training to become a physician, I have learned from her example. I aspire to become a pediatrician with the goal of forming close partnerships with my patients and their families, helping guide them toward greater well-being while offering compassion and empathy along the way. Just as my immunologist helped shape the trajectory of my life during a difficult season, I hope to follow in her footsteps by offering compassionate care for all my future patients through each and every season of their lives.

As I sat in the front row of the large auditorium at my medical school, I glanced around the room. We all wore the same white coats, signifying our medical education, but I stood out. Over 100 people were in that room in various stages of their medical training. Some were seasoned physicians, while others were like me, still deep into their medical studies. But out of all those in attendance, I was the only one in a wheelchair. As a third-year medical student at West Virginia University School navigating this rigorous educational path with a disability has introduced additional challenges distinct from the majority of my peers. Although countless challenges have emerged, the tenacity, resilience, and determination I have acquired from living with a rare disease and disability have served me well as I have worked towards my goal of becoming a doctor. Nevertheless, my disability has often left me feeling disconnected from the experiences of my able-bodied classmates. I have learned to balance medical coursework with my own medical needs. Daily lectures were often punctuated by medical appointments and therapies in order to maintain my health. Learning to advocate for my needs and reach out for support quickly became of great importance to my success. Despite my ongoing advocacy efforts, there were periods where I felt constant reminders of my disability due to insufficient accessibility. Completing clinical rotations in my university's hospital shed light on areas where medical education falls short in this area. From doorways that could not accommodate my wheelchair to exam tables that were too tall for me to reach, I encountered countless physical reminders of my disability. Perhaps most poignant, though, were the reminders offered by others, including supervising physicians who posed questions about how I would perform specific tasks in light of my disability. These comments made me increasingly aware of how ironic it is to be in a field centered on caring for the sick, injured, and disabled when there is a palpable lack of providers who have personal experiences with sickness, injury, and disability. However, instead of becoming disheartened by these comments, I have remained focused on my goal of becoming a doctor, with an ever-growing recognition of the need for providers who understand the challenges of living with a disability. I have viewed the experiences that challenge my place in medicine as an opportunity to educate by sharing my story, advocating for greater access, and working to promote a culture that encourages and embraces diversity in all of its forms. Additionally, when confronted by obstacles, I have turned back to the key attributes that have carried me throughout my journey. The determination and perseverance I have cultivated have enabled me to adapt and overcome seemingly-insurmountable obstacles in my path. By focusing on my strengths, compassion, knowledge, and patient care skills, I have been able to rise to all the challenges presented by patient care, frequently exceeding the expectations of my supervising doctors. Additionally, I have worked with my university to improve universal access, ensuring that doorways, ramps, and parking is accessible to all patients, students, and staff. Although numerous challenges have emerged throughout my journey to becoming a doctor, I take great joy in celebrating the small victories. Recently, I could not help but smile as I rolled into the hospital in my wheelchair, clad in my white coat, through the newly-added accessible entrance into the auditorium. This recent improvement in access served as a powerful reminder that I belong here and others like me do too.

My passion for medicine began at an early age when I realized that becoming a doctor would merge my desire to help others with my love of science. While I knew that I wanted to dedicate my career to helping others, it wasn't until I became a patient myself that I began to understand how I could positively impact the lives of my future patients. When I was in high school, I was diagnosed with a rare disease. Although I had experienced symptoms throughout my childhood, it took over a decade to finally receive answers to my medical issues. Navigating the patient side of medicine was often overwhelming as my family and I were left to figure out the next steps to optimize my health and overcome the challenges introduced by my complex condition. I quickly stepped into the role of my own advocate as I learned how to articulate my needs, research my condition, and pursue treatment options. Becoming my own advocate helped me feel empowered, and it has played a vital role in allowing me to pursue my dream of becoming a physician. However, my experiences have made me keenly aware of the barriers that many people face in accessing the healthcare system. I recognize that not every patient has the ability or resources to serve as a self-advocate. This realization has helped solidify my vision for my medical career by compelling me to partner with patients to advocate for their health needs. I aspire to cultivate a doctor-patient relationship that encourages my patients to contribute to their care-planning decisions. I am eager to utilize my unique perspectives as someone with a medical condition and physical disability to improve patient encounters and shape the delivery of care in a way that prioritizes patients. Achieving my goal of becoming a doctor has been met with many challenges. As someone with a physical disability, I regularly encounter barriers. Specifically, affording medical equipment and medications in addition to the cost of my education has been challenging. My situation is rather different than that of my medical school peers as my tuition bills are often outnumbered by stacks of medical bills due to the level of care my condition requires. Although it is often daunting to negotiate the demands of school with my health needs and the financial barriers imposed by my condition, I remain motivated to achieve my goal of helping patients like myself. Receiving this scholarship would help alleviate some of the costs I experience as a medical student with a disability. Furthermore, it would serve as an investment in my future as a patient-centered doctor dedicated to making each person feel valued and empowered throughout their medical journeys.

I grew up with a deep fascination for science, but it was not until I reached high school that I realized my passion for medicine. From a young age, I recognized that something was “different” about my body. I frequently experienced symptoms such as joint pain and swelling, but for years, these symptoms went unaddressed and unexplained. In high school, my symptoms worsened and began to impact my ability to engage in school and participate in activities I enjoyed. Ultimately, I received a referral to a specialist who diagnosed me with a rare condition that affects my nervous system and connective tissue. Receiving this diagnosis provided me with a long-awaited answer and enabled me to access care and treatment options. However, waiting over a decade for my diagnosis had a lasting impact on me. The delays in treatment I encountered, coupled with feelings of being overlooked by the healthcare system, made me wonder if other patients living with rare diseases have faced similar challenges. As I began to connect with people in the rare disease community, I realized that many had similar stories to mine - years of being dismissed by healthcare professionals, or bounced between doctors who were uncertain of any definitive diagnosis or treatment. Navigating my own medical experiences and meeting others who faced obstacles in accessing healthcare spurred my interest in medicine. I quickly realized that becoming a physician was the perfect way to merge my passion for science and my willingness to help others. Throughout college and medical school, I have remained committed to advocating for the rare disease and disability communities. By sharing my story with classmates and facilitating sessions to teach peers about disabilities and rare diseases, I have helped others understand the challenges that individuals from these communities face. Furthermore, I have worked to provide fellow medical students with resources to reduce barriers to healthcare and improve patient outcomes. Serving at Milan Puskar Health Right Clinic, a student-run clinic for uninsured individuals and people facing homelessness has enabled me to further my work in eliminating barriers to healthcare for individuals from marginalized backgrounds. I have also opted to pursue additional training in rural health and global health through specialty tracks offered by the West Virginia University School of Medicine. I hope that by completing this additional training, I will be equipped to care for the needs of diverse populations with a thorough understanding of the challenges that my future patients may encounter. Ultimately, I aspire to become a primary care physician so that I can form lasting relationships with my patients and empower them to have an active role in their health and well-being. Because I know how overwhelming the patient side of medicine can be, I aim to dedicate my career to breaking down barriers in healthcare and supporting my patients throughout their medical journey. I am eager to apply my medical knowledge to continue my work in advocating for patients, and I hope to foster this spirit of advocacy in others.