Three Billie Eilish Songs That Found Me The lights dimmed. I stood still. Not because I forgot — but because I remembered I wasn’t home. Not anymore. The stage wasn’t mine. The language wasn’t mine. The faces, the lights, the distance— too much. “Isn’t it lovely, all alone…” The music played. I didn’t move. No one noticed. They thought it was part of the act. But I was frozen. Not in fear, but in truth. That was the moment “lovely” stopped being a song— and became a mirror. Grief doesn’t always arrive with thunder. Sometimes it drips in, slowly. quietly, stealing someone you love piece by piece. My grandfather grew smaller every day. Quieter. Further. And then he was gone. But the ache stayed. So did the silence. Until “Birds of a Feather.” “I want you to stay…” I couldn’t say it then. I can barely say it now. But Billie sang it for me. She always does. Not every goodbye is loud. Some feel like a door slowly closing between two people who used to know everything about each other. We didn’t fight. We just drifted. And “Wildflower” caught it perfectly— how you can still love someone as they grow beyond your reach. How watching them bloom can break your heart and still make you proud. These songs didn’t save me. But they saw me. Held me. Stayed with me when I didn’t know how to stay with myself. I don’t just listen to Billie Eilish. I remember my life through her music. The moment I froze. The person I lost . The friend I let go of. Some songs play in the background. These ones played inside me. And they still do .

The day I lost my grandfather, my world shattered. I don’t remember waking up that morning. I just remember collapsing — the kind of collapse that comes from a pain so deep it drains both your body and your spirit. He wasn’t just my grandfather; he was my everything—my family. The man who raised me, protected me, and believed in me when I couldn’t believe in myself. Watching him deteriorate was like watching the light in my life slowly dim. And the worst part? I couldn’t stop it. One of the cruelest things about cancer is how it makes you grieve someone who's still alive — reversing roles, routines, and realities until everything familiar feels like a memory. The man who once carried me on his shoulders now needed my help walking. The one who proudly sat in the front row at my dance recitals and debate tournaments now needed me to drive him to chemotherapy. And every time I held his hand in that hospital chair, I was painfully reminded of how the strongest person I knew was being broken down by something none of us could control. What crushed me most wasn’t even the physical toll — it was when he quietly told me he was thinking about stopping treatment just so he could save money for my education. Even while suffering, he was thinking about my future. My shaking, positive spirit begged him not to. I made him a promise that I’d figure it out. Scholarships. Loans. Jobs. Anything. And here I am — struggling, thriving, and grateful for every moment. After he passed, I fell apart. I developed an eating disorder. I stopped taking care of myself. I was drowning in grief. But I knew I had to get back up — because that’s what he taught me. He raised me to be strong, even when it hurts. So I fought. I worked through it. Slowly. Painfully. But I did it. I pulled myself up. I got the grades. And I found something worth fighting for. This summer, I’m conducting research on neurogenesis using a crayfish model. I plan to pursue my career in drug development focused on neurogenetic disorders — a decision deeply personal and fueled by both my grandfather’s neuroendocrine prostate cancer and my grandmother’s ongoing battle with Alzheimer’s. This is not just a career goal; it’s a personal mission. Every step I take in the lab is a step toward fighting the diseases that stole the people I love most. I used to hate the word cancer. I hated how it sounded. I hated what it meant. And I hated that it changed everything. But I’ve taken all that pain and turned it into purpose. My grandfather may not be with me physically, but he lives on in everything I do — in every achievement, every act of strength, every moment I choose to keep going. I’m fighting for something bigger than myself. Receiving this scholarship wouldn’t just ease the burden he tried so hard to lift — it would carry forward his legacy by helping me continue the fight he never got to finish.

That One Trip with UNICEF Nepal I hopped into a van with a UNICEF team as a volunteer, headed for a village I’d never even heard of — eight hours from my home, followed by a two-hour walk on foot because there was no transportation. The goal: support an immunization drive for an indigenous community that had long been neglected in both health and education. I grew up in Nepal, a country struggling with health disparities, so I was aware of the challenges. But what I saw that day broke something open in me. In almost every house, one of the five or six children had been infected with polio — a disease that could have been entirely prevented with a few drops of vaccine. That was the moment my career goal diverged. I had always been interested in chemistry, fascinated by how drugs and vaccines worked inside the body, especially at the molecular level. I used to imagine myself in a lab, researching neurons and drug compounds. But that trip made me realize something: it’s not enough to develop medicine — I need to help make sure it actually reaches people in need. That’s why I chose to double major in biochemistry and global health studies. I want to be someone who doesn’t just contribute to the science behind vaccines and drugs but also works to dismantle the barriers that prevent them from reaching those who need them most. Since that trip, I’ve continued to stay more engaged through service — from volunteering with UNICEF to supporting patients at Meadville Medical Center and helping organize events for the Paralympics in my local community. Currently, I am working with the Rotaract Club of Allegheny and faculty to make Project Kenya a reality: a healthcare camp for the Maasai tribe in Kenya. I am incredibly excited for this opportunity. The more I study global health systems and see how disability and disease shape people’s lives — often due to something as simple as the lack of a $10 medication — the more I feel a responsibility to act. I want to advocate for affordable drug access, work in pharmaceutical development with an equity lens, and one day help shape policies that ensure no child is left behind because of where they were born. Like Christina, I believe that health is not just survival, but the ability to live with dignity, opportunity, and joy. I hope to help others live the full, healthy lives she envisioned for her patients. I want to carry forward Christina’s dream by dedicating my life to making healthcare — especially vaccines and life-saving drugs — accessible to all. This scholarship will help me afford housing, enabling me to continue my research on neurogenesis. Despite working a part-time job to pay for my tuition, I am still struggling to meet my financial needs. This scholarship is crucial to my ability to continue moving forward and achieve my goals.

If I could travel back in time and meet my younger self, I would tell her that it will all pass. I was raised by parents who knew nothing about college, yet they always told me I would go someday. They held onto hope and faith in something they had never even tasted. I grew up in a small village in Nepal, where I was one of six girls in a class of 32 boys. Three of them are married by now, and here I am—navigating the challenges of a double major in Biochemistry and Global health studies. I am blessed to be struggling because this struggle is a privilege my parents worked hard for. Education was never a given—it was something I had to earn. At my school, the highest-scoring student had their tuition waived, and that became my only way to continue studying. Academic validation was not just a measure of success for me; it was my tool for survival. Every exam, every grade, was a step closer to keeping my education alive. I pushed myself relentlessly, knowing that if I fell behind, my path forward could disappear. That same resilience has carried me through college, where I continue to push myself beyond academics. Alongside my studies, I have dedicated myself to research, mentoring other first-generation students, and seeking ways to use science to create meaningful change. The long nights spent balancing coursework and lab work, the financial burdens, and the pressure to succeed are challenges I embrace because I know what’s at stake—not just for me, but for the younger girls back home who need to see that it’s possible. Beyond academics, I have actively worked to give back to communities beyond my own. Through my college's Rotaract Club, we are working hard to make Project Kenya a success next year—a medical camp for the Maasai people in Kenya, providing healthcare resources and support to underserved communities. Seeing the impact of this work firsthand will strengthen my commitment to using my effort and knowledge to address real-world problems. Whether it’s through global outreach or research, I believe education is most powerful when it extends beyond oneself. This summer, I have the opportunity to further my research on ammonia toxicity in a crayfish model, a project that will expand my knowledge of neurotoxicity and environmental health. However, staying on campus to complete this research comes with housing costs that I cannot afford on my own. This scholarship would relieve that burden, allowing me to focus entirely on my work without financial stress. I am grateful for the chance to apply, and I hope to continue pushing forward—not just for myself, but for the younger me who once dared to dream beyond what she knew.

A degree from a U.S. college was never something a girl from my background would believe was possible. I come from a small, conservative village in Nepal, where investing in a daughter’s education is seen as unnecessary. On top of that, my family has always faced financial hardship. The day I got accepted into a U.S. college wasn’t a celebration. Instead, it felt like a moment of defiance—a step into the unknown, making choices that were financially risky and went against societal expectations. From a young age, I knew that education was my only way forward. In school, excelling academically wasn’t just about achievement—it was a necessity. The only way to continue my studies was by maintaining the highest GPA to qualify for tuition waivers. But my struggles went beyond academics. With no college counselor at my school, I had to navigate the application process alone, spending nights reading blog posts, watching videos, and emailing universities to understand requirements. Despite self-doubt and fear of failure, I pushed forward, knowing that giving up meant surrendering to expectations that were never meant for me. After securing a scholarship from the Indian Embassy, my aunt congratulated me, only to remind me that it was time to start looking for a husband. That moment was painful, but it solidified my determination. I had worked too hard to prove that I was more than just a bride-to-be. No matter how many times I proved myself, society would try to limit me—so I had to break free. Coming to the U.S. brought a new set of challenges—financial instability, cultural isolation, and imposter syndrome. Being thousands of miles away from home, I often felt like an outsider. Adjusting to a new educational system, with its high expectations and unfamiliar methods, intensified the feeling of being out of place. But adversity has never been a reason to stop; instead, it became my driving force. I was fortunate to find faculty members who supported my goals and pushed me to grow both academically and personally. I threw myself into my double major in biotechnology and global health studies, determined to bridge the gap between research and real-world solutions. This summer, I will be conducting research on neurogenesis, exploring how environmental factors impact brain regeneration using a crayfish model, with the hope of connecting this to Alzheimer’s disease in the future. Beyond the lab, I am also part of a team working to bring a medical camp to Kenya through my college’s Rotary Club. Alongside faculty and professionals, we are striving to make this project a reality, providing healthcare to the Maasai people and gaining firsthand insight into global health challenges. Adversity has shaped me into someone who isn’t afraid to face the unknown. It has inspired me to become the kind of woman that little girls like me can look up to—someone who never lets fear hold her back. From a small, conservative village in Nepal to being part of a global health project in Kenya, I’ve proven that the limits placed on me are not my limits. To anyone facing similar struggles, I say: Never stop pushing forward. Your dreams are worth every ounce of effort, and remember—there is no way out except through.

I read 20 articles that day. It was a gloomy Sunday evening. My grandfather lay beside me in his hospital bed, undergoing chemotherapy, watching me with a reassuring smile. My eyes blurred with tears as I continued reading. Those articles were the most popular ones I could find on cancer. Growing up, I was surrounded by my grandpa's books. He never went to high school, yet he had a DIY bookshelf filled with pages he read to me with passion. stories on biology, nature, and history, but reading felt like a chore to me. That changed when the roles reversed: I was the one reading to him. At first, I read for him. Then, I read for myself to understand. After he passed away, I turned to his books even more, searching for connection and the knowledge that fascinated him. Slowly, I realized—I didn’t just want to read research; I wanted to conduct it. I wanted to be the one writing the articles my grandfather had read with great hope. Initially, I was drawn to cancer biology, but as I delved deeper, I became fascinated with the chemistry of life—how cells communicate, how diseases progress. My love for cancer biology evolved into a passion for biochemistry. It wasn’t easy, but I tried my best. The difficulty didn’t matter as long as I had the will to learn. As my understanding of biochemistry deepened, so did my awareness of its global impact. I wanted to understand how research translated into real-world solutions and how healthcare reached those in need. That’s why I decided to double major in Biotechnology/Biochemistry and Global Health Studies. This summer, with my professor, I will research neurogenesis using a crayfish model, exploring how the environment affects brain regeneration. My goal is to connect this research to Alzheimer’s disease eventually. Beyond the lab, I am also committed to global health initiatives. As part of my college’s Rotary Club, I am helping organize a medical camp in Kenya alongside faculty and professionals. This project will allow me to apply my knowledge while learning firsthand about healthcare challenges worldwide. Every time I get the opportunity to do what I love—the very things my grandfather helped me fall in love with—I feel like I am finding my true self. Science has always been where I belonged. And here I am: striving and loving the purpose I am working hard for.

Volunteering has always been at the core of who I am, guiding my personal growth and shaping my future aspirations. My journey began in Girl Scouts, where I learned the power of giving back—not just through simple acts of kindness, but by creating a lasting impact in the lives of others. Over the years, I’ve realized that my volunteer experiences have deepened my empathy and fueled my passion for helping others—whether human or animal. These experiences have also taught me vital skills in leadership, communication, and community outreach that I now use to help others be their best. The values of service were instilled in me by my grandfather, a retired army veteran who dedicated much of his life to volunteering for the Red Cross. His example inspired me to follow in his footsteps. After his passing, I carried on his legacy when elected the president of my high school’s Red Cross Circle. Leading over 200 members, I had the privilege of organizing blood donation drives in collaboration with the local municipality’s Red Cross chapter, Rapti-Red Cross, and several fund-raising programs. Our work was crucial in supporting the community, especially during times of crisis. Growing up in an area prone to flooding, I also became a trained first aid responder, helping treat injured animals and people in need of immediate care. I realized that helping others extends beyond immediate action; it’s about creating a lasting impact by training others to continue the work. I focused on mentoring and training future volunteers, ensuring that they were equipped with the skills needed to make a meaningful difference. My goal is not just to help in the short term but to inspire others to carry the torch forward. One of the most transformative experiences in my volunteer journey was working at an animal rescue center, where I spent my summers providing hands-on care for animals. In addition to directly caring for them, I hosted fundraisers and participated in animal rights marches. Living near a national park, I had the unique opportunity to support wildlife conservation efforts. Whether designing educational posters or assisting visitors with volunteer sign-ups, I played an active role in preserving the environment. This experience sparked my passion for biotechnology, leading me to recognize that my desire to help could extend beyond animals to human health and environmental sustainability. Motivated by this realization, I decided to major in biotechnology. However, my commitment to community service and creating a better future also led me to take Global Health Studies as my minor. In addition to my academic pursuits, I manage and plan events for the Rotaract Club of Allegheny, a role that is preparing me for an exciting and impactful project: Project Kenya. This medical camp for the Maasai people of Kenya, in collaboration with faculty and generous donors, will allow me to apply my knowledge and skills in community service and global health. Although I no longer actively work with the Red Cross, I continue to volunteer every week with Family and Children’s Services (FCCAA), helping with their food and shelter program during this harsh winter. Through this continued commitment, I am able to provide immediate support to those in need while gaining experience in direct service work. This scholarship will significantly help reduce my financial burden for college and encourage me to continue to build on my experiences and make a lasting impact through projects like Project Kenya and other global health initiatives. I’m committed to helping others, and this scholarship will help me take that commitment even further.

If I had to reflect on my journey from a small village in Nepal to a college in the USA, I believe the social and economic scenarios I grew up in have shaped me into the person I am today. My education was largely funded by scholarships, without which I would never have imagined attending college—let alone one in the United States. The scarcity I experienced in my early years instilled in me a sense of deep gratitude for the opportunities I’ve been given. It also sparked a commitment to give back to my community, to provide more than I’ve received, and to be part of creating opportunities for others facing similar struggles. One of the most fun parts of my life has to be tutoring the kids with my math teacher. She made me fall in love with volunteering, whether it's tutoring underprivileged kids or reading to an old age home. I started loving investing my time for a good cause. In my neighborhood, the old books are never sold; they are handed down to the juniors, and the cycle continues. My passion for community service expanded when I worked with Women Lead Nepal, an organization focused on women’s empowerment and gender equality. During my time there, I got the chance to be a peer mentor for the girls who wanted to go to college, avoiding the marriage proposals thrown their way from as early as 15. I had an opportunity to teach them the college application process, the thing I had to do on my own, but it made me feel great that they didn’t have to. We started doing fundraiser events and essay workshops together, and I built a family of ambitious girls who dream of overcoming socioeconomic adversity someday. I still do peer mentoring, and my volunteering journey in the US continues with my work with FCCA, Family Children, and Community Association. The constant struggles to get my needs met made me realize success is not giving up. I have firsthand witnessed people’s potential being wasted due to a lack of resources; I am one of the lucky few who got the chance to work for my dream. Even though there are constant worries about getting my bills paid, I keep looking for opportunities because giving up now is not just my loss; it is a loss for all people who have faith in me. Despite my hard work and dedication, the financial pressures I face are a constant challenge. Juggling three jobs on campus just to make ends meet is a reminder of the economic struggles that many of us face, and it drives me to work even harder to build a successful future. A future that can be an example as well as a source of support for people like me who believe they can achieve what they dream of and their potential won’t be wasted for avoidable causes like economic constraints.

A degree from a U.S. college was never something a girl from my background would believe was possible. I come from a society where spending money on a daughter’s education is believed to be useless; on top of that, my family has always faced financial hardship. The day I got accepted into a U.S. college wasn’t a celebration. Instead, it felt like a reflection of the difficult choices I’d made—choices that were financially risky and went against societal expectations. When I think of my challenges, I realize I’ve been aspiring to become like Maggie all along, even though I only learned about her recently. I resonate deeply with her academic dedication, but for me, it was more than passion—it was my tool for survival. Scoring the highest GPA in my class wasn’t just about achievement; instead, it was the only way I could get my tuition waived to continue my education. As I worked on my college application process, I had to navigate a completely unfamiliar system all on my own. With no counselor in sight, I found myself teaching my principal about the counselor roles, a painful reminder of how far behind I was compared to others. Despite the overwhelming feeling of self-doubt and uncertainty, I aspired to imitate Maggie’s bravery throughout my journey, holding onto my passion and hope. One day, after I secured a scholarship from the Indian Embassy, my aunt came to congratulate me, but her first words immediately shifted the focus: "It’s time to look for a husband," as is expected of a girl my age. As painful as that moment was, it also strengthened my determination—there was no turning back. No matter how many times I proved myself, society would limit me, and I had to escape that. I knew I belonged in biology when I could easily spend hours on Coursera’s free courses, even though I couldn’t afford the paid certificates. An industrial biotechnology course from Coursera solidified my decision to pursue biotechnology. I see the future me in a lab, performing experiments. I could sense my librarian’s frustration when I often ordered research papers that they didn’t have, but it only fueled my desire to dive deeper into the field of my passion. In Kathmandu, I worked as a student learner on Creasion.org’s Project Cap team, an organization focused on plastic waste management in Nepal. Working there deepened my interest in biotechnology, especially in synthetic biology, as I understood the importance of sustainable technologies for the future. Moving to the U.S. has been a lonely and financially draining journey, but this place has provided me with opportunities to grow, which serves as a constant reminder that I am on the right path. I’ve used every resource available to me, taking out loans from back home and from the college, along with additional aid from the college, yet there is still a gap. The constant worry about finding the resources to bridge the financial gap consumes energy that I could have dedicated to more productive work. This scholarship would significantly ease that burden and help me continue to work on my passion and carry Maggie’s legacy with me. I am determined to push through these challenges not just for a successful career but also to be a mirror, to help girls like me see how strong they are and that they deserve to live their passion.