In December 2020, I was scrolling through TikTok when I came across an eyebrow tutorial from a Kenyan makeup artist named Moureen. Although I don't understand Swahili I knew exactly what she was trying to teach. I also saw so many women from around the world in the comments talk about how they understand the universal language of makeup/beauty. I was so touched by this video that it made me reflect on how my life would look completely different had my parents not immigrated to the U.S. I was born in Rwanda and moved to the U.S in the early 2000s. In college, I had the privilege of working at beauty stores like Sephora and Ulta. From working I was able to buy makeup & skincare products I liked. This allowed me to explore makeup which developed into a passion for beauty. After college, I even had the privilege to work for global beauty brands. As I watched this TikTok, I thought about how playing with makeup for therapy changed my life. I also thought about the job opportunities women in the U.S have in the beauty industry. I wanted to send Moureen a makeup kit to help her continue on her journey of becoming a professional makeup artist. I decided to reach out to Moureen to learn more about her experience. She said that makeup in Kenya is expansive, inaccessible, and cheaper products tend to cause breakouts. I then asked for her permission to create a makeup kit and send it to her. At the time I was only an intern in the beauty industry, so I decided to create a Gofundme for her. She approved the campaign and gave me permission to tell a little of her story. I made a couple of TikTok videos that got thousands of views. Many people resonated with the struggle of accessing beauty products. I got messages from women across the world who wanted to explore careers as professional makeup artists but lacked the resources. Although I wanted to help more people, I knew that this was a bigger project that required a lot more funding. I was able to raise $305 for the makeup but discovered how expansive shipping and customs are. Although it took a while, Moureen did receive the package and was grateful. I know those products really helped her out. I enjoyed this project so much but unfortunately haven't been able to help more women. Once in a while, I receive emails from beauty lovers who lack access, and I'm saddened that I'm not able to help due to cost. However, I am always writing down ideas on how I can one day make this project reach more people and be sustainable. Through this project, I learned that just because I have access to beauty products, does not mean that other people in the world have the same privileges. Although I understand that when you don't have much, beauty is the last thing on your mind, I still believe that we all have a universal want to feel beautiful. And for people like me & Moureen, makeup has given us career opportunities we could only dream of. I hope in the future I can create a program that donates makeup products to individuals who lack access and want to explore, and hopefully, from there I can give them resources to kickstart professional careers in the beauty industry.

I grew up in an immigrant family, and not going to college was never an option. I spent most of my senior year in my high school counselor’s office working on applications and scholarships. With no financial support from my family, I knew I had to use all the resources around me. After getting the disappointing news that I didn’t get any of the full-ride scholarships I applied for, I used this rejection as an inspiration to apply to every scholarship I could. After applying for so many scholarships I was able to fund my entire four years of college. I could’ve taken the rejection, but instead, I proved to myself that small wins, can amount to just as much as significant accomplishments. I learned that rejection is never the end of the journey. As a first-generation college student, I've learned to use challenges as motivation to keep trying and pave my own route to success. What I accomplished in college gave me so much confidence. However, no one could have prepared me for how difficult it would be to graduate college at the start of a pandemic. During college, I worked at Ulta and Sephora where I discovered my passion for Makeup. As much as I loved my experience, I felt excluded, which pushed me to seek a career in corporate beauty. I wanted to use my voice to ensure that black people had products for them. I felt so discouraged because, for months after graduation, I only received rejection letters. I had only gotten one interview in the 10 months that I searched for a job. Finally, I stumbled upon a job post for an internship on Linkedin. Although many managers that I tried to connect with ignored me, overtime I became even more fearless. Within minutes, I messaged a manager at Laura Mercier Cosmetics regarding my interest in the internship. That’s how I got my foot in the door. Although I enjoyed working in corporate I felt lost in my career. I wanted to be in positions where I could use my voice for change. However, in my job search, I have continued to face rejection when I try to level up. I often find myself in jobs where I am a filler. When I do apply for jobs I want, I experience pushback. Even with experience, it has been extremely hard to move up in my career. I've always known that as a black woman I would have to work 10x harder for anyone to take me serious, so it only made sense to make myself more qualified. Although I've struggled to get to where I am, it has prepared me for my future managerial roles. As someone who is an advocate for inclusivity, I have to be bold, persistent, and adaptable. These are skills my job search has taught me.

When I was seven years old, my family immigrated to the U.S. At the time, my parents were advised to change the spelling of my name to make it easier for people to pronounce. It went from Hanifah to Anifa. Despite my name becoming Americanized, I cringed when other people would say it. It's either they pronounced it wrong or it sounded too foreign for me to accept. During these years, I never knew the meaning of my name to appreciate it. I would google my name and feel disappointed when none of the meanings resonated. Anifa is an Arabic name meaning "true believer". My name didn't start to feel special until my mom told me the story of how I was named. In Rwandan culture, the mother gives the first name, and the father chooses the last name. However, when I was born, I was named by my grandmother, who was my mother's midwife. She named me after her best friend. In this life, I don't have memories that I remember with her. But my grandmother has always been special to me. After she passed away, she would visit me in my dreams. I would always be so happy to see her. It felt like we had been friends for many lifetimes. A couple of years after she passed, I visited Rwanda, and on my second night, while sleeping on her bed, I felt an energy hug me. Today, my name is special because it's the connection between me, and an amazing soul who takes care of me even in the spirit world. During the toughest times in my life, she has visited me in my dreams to comfort and guide me. During my visit to Rwanda, I also discovered that my family members wrote my name differently. I was shocked when I saw one of my cousins spell my name like this "Anipha". Looking back at my life, the three spellings of my name summarize the identity struggles I have as an immigrant. Although my name was changed to assimilate to American culture, I'm constantly reminded that I don't belong in this country. Meanwhile, in Rwanda, I'm always told that I'm not Rwandan enough. I have learned to embrace all the spellings of my name, and use them as my alter egos. In my professional and personal life, I'm known as Anifa. On social media, I am known as Anipha. To my close family and friends, I'm known as Hanifah. After learning about my grandmother's story, I no longer care about the meaning or spelling of my name. I love it because every time I talk about the meaning of my name, I can tell the crazy spiritual stories I've had with my grandmother.

Learning how to take care of your mental health is one of the most important things you can do. When I first started, I utilized material things to make myself feel better. For example, as an undergrad, I developed a love for skincare. I would spend at least 20 minutes in the mornings and at night doing my skincare. After skincare, I would have a cup of tea or coffee and sit down to do my makeup. This routine always made me feel better. I also loved using the phrase, "treat yourself", as my excuse for shopping or buying food. I have since realized how much my self-care is rooted in capitalism. Nowadays, I'm constantly pushing myself to redefine what it means to take care of myself. I have a minimal list of skincare products that work for me and don't break my skin or bank account. Doing my skincare is an essential ritual for me. I usually notice a decline in my mental health if I neglect my skin. So I don't mind spending money on products that help. As for makeup, I always tell myself not to follow social media trends. Creating a healthy relationship between money and my self-care products is important because I heal my inner child. A huge part of why spending money to take care of myself is so damaging is because I've always used it to give my inner child everything it never had. Although giving to my inner child is important, I can't continue being co-dependent on money to heal. Thus, I've decided to heal myself through therapy, going on walks, spending time in nature, doing yoga, and rediscovering other healing-free hobbies. When I am feeling down, my body will let me know, and half of the time I have to find a natural solution. For instance, I love going on walks to move my body. Whenever I have built up tensions, walks always help, or if it's bad, then I work out. It's important to find healthy release methods. Finding holistic approaches to taking care of my mental health has been important in my journey. Our bodies are multi-layered beings that require different levels of care. The more I dig into untraditional approaches such as meditation or laying in nature, the more my body becomes content. I do have the occasional therapy session where I rent and release. But I've realized that the majority of the healing and constant rebalancing is done alone.

I am turning 25 years old in July, and I keep reflecting on all the moments I have been bold. I can confidently say that I have always gone after every opportunity I have ever wanted. From filming youtube videos in my room at 18 to breaking into my dream industry and finally deciding to move to London for graduate school. In college, I remember going to career fairs and telling people about my dream of wanting to work for global beauty brands at a corporate level. People would look at me like I'm crazy, and even my friends would question my ambitions. Although Denver is not a small town, I have met so many people who restrict their dreams to their environment. Many people expected me to do the same because Denver did not have career opportunities for corporate beauty. I have always known that my dreams did not exist in Colorado. This is why I worked so hard to break into the beauty industry. At 25, I have worked for the biggest beauty brands in the world such as Clinique & Laura Mercier. Although I've enjoyed my time at these companies, I have always pictured myself traveling around the world while working in beauty. So, in September I'll be living out my dream of living in London. Although I'm moving for my master's, I want to use this as an opportunity to work for different beauty companies beyond the U.S. I love putting myself in new environments that push me to see beyond society's expectations of me.

I believe that if attaining a college education was cheaper then more students would pursue a degree and those enrolled wouldn't feel the pressure of having their lives figured out. When I was in college, I remember feeling like I had to know exactly what I wanted to do with my life. I didn't want to waste time and money pursuing a degree that wouldn't pay off in the long term. Because of how expansive college has become, many people will settle for degrees they don't like in order to find jobs that pay them well enough to pay off student loans. It's a lot to ask an 18 year older to commit to a college degree that costs thousands of dollars when they are not even sure about it. At 18, many people make mistakes, they are still trying to find themselves. I had many meltdowns while in college due to the pressure of trying to figure my life out. If college was cheaper then we would view it as a place of learning about different career fields and discovering ourselves. Students would be more comfortable going after degrees they actually like and would feel more comfortable changing their minds. College is advertised as the step before you have a stable career when in reality it is the beginning of the journey. Now that I am post-undergrad, I now realize that I'm only at the beginning of my career and it's okay that I don't have stability. For something that doesn't guarantee a narrow path to success, it sure does cost a lot to attain. I think education is extremely valuable, I just hate how society has taken the joy out of learning to continue to promote capitalism. In May 2022, I applied for graduate school and many times I felt unsure. Although I found the perfect program and was sure about pursuing a master's degree what held me back so many times was money. Imagine how many people miss out on their potential because college is too expensive.