Staying true to yourself is a difficult task to maintain and something that should be applauded. For instance, it takes a lot of self-reflection, and it is influenced by the people you surround yourself with. Peer pressure, or even having someone skew the flow of your mindset, is enough to disrupt the ability to stay true to yourself. I keep myself in check by surrounding myself with people that encourage me to be my best self. I did this by joining the Cambridge program at my school. It allows me to be able to socialize with peers that understand what I’m going through academically. Not only that, but most Cambridge students at my school are also open-minded and very sweet individuals with unique personalities. This has helped me broaden my perspective about how people may view things differently than I do. Being around scholarly individuals like them has helped me stay on track and be unbiased as a person. It’s important to note that I struggled a lot with self-esteem, resulting in me becoming a people-pleaser for a long time. I vowed to be as honest as possible to myself once I stepped into high school. I found resources to help me self-reflect as a person and I talked myself through my discomforts. This involved journaling my thoughts and processing my day-to-day events, along with discussing a variety of things with a close friend or my significant other for a different view. Now, I no longer let others do as they please with me and I know when to turn away when I’m uncomfortable.

I truly believe that the meaning of life is whatever you make it out to be. People aren’t born with a purpose. You’re the one who chooses what you want to do. Currently, the meaning of life for me is to live as a benevolent individual. Because I have access to free education, I’ve been taught about the horrors of our planet’s past. There has been war, which has led to genocide and other unspeakable things because of human greed and selfishness. With the current knowledge I have about the world, I’ve developed my own understanding of what’s good and bad. Our society today is a lot better than those in the past, but it is still not decent. There’s plenty of oppression and hate that lingers. I understand that finding true peace for everyone isn’t a plausible task, especially when people refuse to educate themselves on the issues of our society. The least I can do with my life is advocate for others and help people in need. One person can change the world for someone else, and I hope that one day I can be that person. I have big ambitions for when I get older. For example, I’d like to create a community to help minorities in need and I'm currently working my way towards it by understanding what other ethnic groups might be struggling with. Additionally, as a member of the LGBTQ+ community, I encourage my friends to come and discuss any struggles or questions they have with their own identities with me. I make sure they’re being heard and validate their feelings, because by doing so I might be saving someone. People deserve to have all their needs covered, and I will continue to do my best to help contribute to this cause.

Stubbornness is often painted in a negative light; however, it can easily be disguised as being strong-willed. Without further context, being “strong-willed” sounds much better compared to being “stubborn.” However, I have a preference of recognizing myself as a stubborn person. It was difficult to come to terms with identifying myself as a stubborn individual. After all, being stubborn has resulted in moments where I wished I could turn back time in order to fix something I’ve said or done. Other times, being stubborn has saved me. When I was younger, I always felt like an outsider. I had very little friends and I wanted to feel included. So, I started trying to find ways to fit in. There was a time when I thought I could finally be someone to this group of girls I admired. I attempted to adjust my personality to match theirs, along with try and look like them. Fortunately, I wasn’t successful. But that doesn’t change the fact that I persisted in trying for so long. That instance of stubbornness was detrimental to how I viewed myself. Separating myself from the idea of needing to be like everyone else has benefitted me in numerous ways. For example, I no longer wish to change myself for other people. Now, I stand my ground. The person I am currently is who I like and wish to be. If I’m not changing for the better and for myself, I don’t want it. I focus my stubbornness into my identity now, and by doing so I can flaunt my culture and who I am without feeling like it’s an embarrassing thing to do.

We live in a society. In order to be a functional member of society, it’s necessary to observe what other people do around you. You have no choice but to understand what’s accepted within a society, or else you’ll be ostracized for being “different.” Alas, it’s normal for people to mimic others. Though, I do believe what has been normalized in most societies is unacceptable. For instance, I’ve seen countless individuals interact and I understand that sometimes people just don’t get along. However, so many problems between individuals can be solved through better communication. Seeing other people fume over misunderstandings has caused me to realize that it isn’t something I want. So, when conversing, I’ve committed to being upfront and honest about my feelings regardless of how the other person might feel. Sugar-coating words or being vague has a high chance of being misinterpreted by the other party. It’s vital to speak your mind. Not doing so eventually leads to unnecessary conflict, and I don’t wish to harm people who are important to me with lies or wishy-washy comments.

I absolutely love fashion. Be it grunge, dark academia, or even cottagecore – I refuse to just stick to one aesthetic when it comes to clothes. I wasn’t always like this, though. As a child, I grew up very wary about certain purchases. If something was over fifteen dollars, especially clothing, there’s a good chance I skipped out on purchasing it. It was simply too expensive for me at that time. Online shopping was ideal for me, especially on sites such as SheIn or Aliexpress. There’s plenty of cute clothing for a cheap price, plus, people deserve to feel good in the clothes they wear. Unfortunately, it’s no secret that these websites contribute to fast fashion. It’s hard to resist buying trendy, cheaply made clothing as trends come and go. But the materials used to quickly create these clothes are full of synthetic fibers. Polyester, nylon, and elastane are all made from heavily processed petrochemicals that are better known as a type of fossil fuel. Not only that, but polyester is also produced from a type of plastic, something that doesn’t decompose. Because of how inexpensive the clothes are, many fashion influencers have made videos with large hauls of these products, causing others to believe it’s okay to support the fast fashion industry. In reality, it negatively impacts our climate. Instead of purchasing fast fashion, I make a positive impact on the climate by thrifting. I purchase from secondhand shops, too, such as Depop. It’s a method of supporting small businesses instead of buying from industries that aren’t entirely ethical. Most importantly, thrifting helps keep clothes out of landfills and keeps them in a cycle of use and consumption.

Khmer is my first language. However, growing up as an Asian American has almost made my native language foreign to me. Being thrown into an American school has caused me to forget how to form correct, grammatic sentences when speaking. I’ve forgotten the basics and I must relearn. This has all caused me to feel like I’m never being heard in my household. Now, I’m fluent in English. I understand and can write it a lot better compared to Khmer. However, my parents don’t fully understand English. I believe it to be the main reason why I’m not as close with my parents as I should be, despite being family. I can’t help but feel solemn when I think about it. But, whenever I speak with them, trouble only comes. Sometimes they can’t understand me. Sometimes I can’t understand them. Miscommunication is prone to happen when you can’t understand what the other person is talking about. This can cause conflict, and it’s happened many times before with me. Sometimes, to make up for not being able to explain something in Khmer, I overexplain in English to my parents. It’s not very effective. Regardless, there have been many other times where I converse with them that end with both parties upset. I’ve learned and discovered that it’s important to ask questions or show that you’re listening when someone speaks. Nowadays, I like to nod or make small comments when listening to someone talk. It’s a way for them to know that I’m not trying to disrespect them, especially if I’m doing something else on the side. Not only that, If I don’t understand what they’re talking about, I’ll ask questions relating to it so I can clarify what they mean. It helps prevent miscommunication and allows me to enjoy conversations.

“Have you ever seriously thought about committing suicide?” In middle school, I remember taking a school-mandated survey on a computer. It asked generic questions, along with statements where you had to decide whether you agreed with the statement or not. The ones that discussed suicide stuck with me. I had considered it before. My mental health started to decline drastically around the end of elementary school. People I thought were my friends had found better people to interact with when we transitioned into middle school. I had also been accepted into a program the school had offered, cutting me off from them even more. I was forced to mingle with familiar faces that shared the classes I had. They were people I was acquainted with but never would consider a “friend.” At that time, being at school was my escape from home. My parents had high expectations for me, so whenever I came home and went to them for comfort, I was greeted with lectures instead. I was constantly compared to other kids when all I wanted was to be loved. I was taught that I was never good enough. My worth was based on my grades and nothing else. Waking up wasn’t worth it anymore and I began to believe I was better off dead. It was the easy way out. However, there was one person that made life worth living again. They taught me that I was something more than just letters and numbers. We dreamed of a future together and I felt a little less alone, knowing that someone did care about me. In the end, I just had to stay alive for that to come true. I just had to believe that although tomorrow might not be a better day for me, one day will be.

“You eat cats and dogs.” People around me laughed. I hesitated, but I laughed, too. My father made the same unfunny jokes, so it was the right thing to do. I had to laugh. After all, it was supposed to be funny. I was seven. I was seven surrounded by faces I couldn’t recognize as my own. Their Eurocentric features didn’t match my tan skin and flat nose. I was different and I knew that and I hated it. I was nine making fun of myself. I put myself down to make others laugh. But I never realized they weren’t laughing with me. I was blinded by the fact that they were laughing at me. I wasn’t ever part of their clique no matter how hard I tried. During my endeavors of trying to accommodate myself to the white eye, I came across a quote: “Do no harm but take no shit.” It was an eye-opening moment and made me realize how exhausted I was of stifling my Asian identity. I no longer wanted to pretend to be someone I wasn’t. Not only that, I learned to love who I really was. I learned more about my roots and other cultural aspects of my identity, and I refused to let others make me feel indifferent about it. I’m seventeen and recognize that being Asian is part of who I am. But because of that, I still have to deal with arrogant people who think it’s smart to stereotype me. However, I no longer give them what they want. I will no longer react to someone who wants to belittle me. Instead, I educate others that stereotypical “jokes” aren’t funny. They do more harm than good and nobody deserves to be stereotyped in a way that hurts them.