Life can turn into a crazy mess sometimes, but it's through these messes that we find a little bit more of ourselves and our desires for the future. Let me tell you about the messy life I was living at 11 years old. I was just a normal girl in 5th grade with a normal life, but that was suddenly taken from me when I started having severe knee pains. The knee pain that left me unable to walk, turned out to be osteosarcoma, a bone cancer, in my left leg. My normal life was quickly stripped away from me as my parents and I drove to the hospital every other week for chemotherapy treatments for nine months. I lost my hair and a lot of my innocence as I struggled through hospital visits and surgeries. The summer between 5th and 6th grade I had a surgery where most of my femur was removed and replaced with a titanium rod. I was sentenced to walk on crutches for nine months as my leg adapted to the metal. I remember very little of my time in the hospital, but what I do remember is the day I was diagnosed. I was sitting on the examination table when my surgeon came in to give me the news. After showing me the CT scans and telling me I had cancer, I felt this wave of peace wash over me. At that moment I knew that no matter what happened during my treatment everything was going to be okay. It wasn’t until much later that I realized that it was God speaking to me. He assured me that I didn’t have to worry about what was going to happen. So I didn’t. I spent nine months in and out of the hospital wearing a smile and trying my best to have fun, which I did. Unfortunately, cancer was the least of my problems during my time in the hospital. It was during this time that I started to see my mother's true colors. My parents had been divorced since I was young and there had always been a high conflict between my parents, but it only became apparent to me during my time in the hospital when my mother became hell-bent on making sure my dad suffered just as much as me. Like any narcissist, she was more worried about her agenda than how it would affect me or my sister. It was with this new knowledge that after my treatment was over my relationship became strained with my mom. This eventually led me to spiral down into depression and anxiety. Finally, I had enough and stopped visiting her house and talking to her or the rest of her family who enjoyed pushing her agenda. Life has changed so much since I rang the bell and called it quits on my mom. I’ve spent the last few years healing physically and mentally and finding who I am. I’ve learned a great deal about adversity. I’ve learned that overcoming adversity takes determination and a God who will walk with them no matter how ugly it gets. No adversity is impossible with God and people need to know that. My past has paved the way for my future in Christian Ministries where I can help everyone struggling through adversity know about the One who can help them and see them through. I want to help people, as God’s servants, overcome the messiness of life and find the hope that is waiting for them even in the darkest places.

Do you remember doing group projects in school? Do you remember being the kid who had to carry the team? Or the kid that goofed off while someone else worked hard to get the project done? Whoever you were in this situation, group projects were always dreaded in school. I was one of the kids who hated group projects because I felt like I was carrying the weight of my team. But as I look back on those team projects now, I understand why we were encouraged to work together. It is by working together that anything gets done. An effective leader learns that working with a team is how the world changes. Leadership, to me, is how this world makes forward progress. Leadership is required everywhere you go from the aisle at the grocery store to the office to the home. At the grocery store leadership can simply mean waiting your turn to walk into another aisle as someone passes or helping someone short (like me) reach something on a high shelf. In the office, we can be leaders by leading a staff meeting or simply asking questions. And in the home, especially as a parent or sibling, leadership is crucial to teach and get things done. What I've noticed, though, is that leading is pointless if someone isn't being led. Leadership is about being a role model to someone else, so in that grocery aisle, you can show the people around you that it's okay to help someone too short to reach the top shelf. In the office, it's okay to have questions or lead a meeting on an important topic. In the home, it's okay to show your kids or siblings how to do the dishes or play video games. It’s by leading that growth takes place. Effective leaders lead so that the future might look a little better and a little brighter. As role models, we have the responsibility to show others how to work together for the world to become a better place. By leading and being led we can grow our knowledge and grow this world's potential. Now look back at that team project you had to do in school. If one person did all the work, then what is everyone else learning? The point of the exercise is to work together as leaders to encourage each other and expand their knowledge. This isn’t always easy in grade school, but for growth to occur in society, and in each of our minds, we need to stand up and lead and accept being led. So what are we waiting for?

My story begins when my parents divorced. I was young at the time and didn't understand what was happening between my parents. I grew up traveling between different households and different worlds. Nothing ever felt constant. At eleven years old I began to see my mom for who she really was. She was a narcissist set on trying to keep my sister and me away from our dad at the risk of our own safety and happiness. I hated how she treated me and my sister as second to getting back at my dad and I was determined to change my mom so she would care more about loving her kids well. So I tried and tried and in the process, I dug myself into a deep hole of anxiety, depression, loneliness, and eventually suicidal thoughts. She was adamant that she had done nothing wrong and in the process of trying to show her how much she had hurt me, I found myself stuck in a dark whirlwind. The thoughts of suicide would not leave my head as I struggled through life. After struggling through the pain in my mind for several months, I finally found peace when I stopped going to her house and pulled myself out of the hole. I never would have guessed how easy it was for my mental health to decline. All it took was for me to focus on the bad things happening around me and I fell into a deep pit. My struggle with mental health taught me some valuable lessons about how to live my life. I realized just how important it was. I believe that my mental health is critical to how I live my life and how I interact with others. When my mind pulls me down I find that it is hard to concentrate on anything like eating, schoolwork, and other people, but when my mental health is at a high my life life seems to follow. I started caring more about myself and seeing the positive in difficult situations. The way I treat others changed too. When I was struggling in the dark, I blocked people out and then blamed them for not knowing or caring about what was happening in my life. When my mental health improved so did my relationships with people. It was like a blindfold had been taken off of my eyes and I could start seeing the beauty of the world again. My mental health is important for how I live this life well. Maintaining my mental health after I stopped seeing my mom was difficult. I would often find myself slipping into the same dark hole just to be pulled out again by the relief of not going to her house. I had to learn how to care not just for my physical body, but also for my mind. I started writing my thoughts down and over time I became obsessed with journaling. It became a coping mechanism that helped me heal and control my mental health. To this day I still spend time meditating and journaling what is happening in my life to make sense of the crazy mess. Taking walks outside and setting aside time for myself and others has helped me refocus on life and start seeing the goodness all around me. I found myself again through journaling, meditating, and spending time with others. Mental wellness is crucial for living an amazing life. I have learned so much from my mental health battle and I hope that as I pursue my career I can help others fight as well.

What are most kids doing at eleven years old? Most kids are probably at school messing around with their friends while the teacher is trying to talk. Most kids are probably going home to rush through their homework so they can play video games or hang out with family. Most kids would have sleepovers, go to the mall, or have adventures outside on the weekends. But I was not like most kids. What I remember doing was being ushered into a small doctor’s office. I jumped up onto the high examination bed and heard the paper crinkle underneath me. My parents took a seat in the blue plush chairs to the side of me. I could feel the anxiety that sat in my throat as I waited for the doctor to come in with my test results. I had no idea what was going on. The doctor finally came in after a long wait followed by a large group of other people in scrubs. He took a seat in the tiny swivel chair across from me with a piece of paper in his hands. After a hasty introduction, he handed me the CT scan and asked me if I knew what a tumor was. That was when my mind shut down. I didn’t understand what was happening or why all these people were crowding around me looking solemn. When I didn’t answer I was told that I had bone cancer. What happened next is something that I will never forget. A wave of peace washed over me. While it was a lot to take in, something, someone whispered in my ear that it was going to be okay. I didn’t have to worry. It was with this promise that I journeyed through nine months of chemotherapy and seven surgeries over five years. It was with that hope that I lost my hair, some of my friends, and my relationship with several family members. I do not remember much about my time at the hospital, but I do remember that God told me not to be afraid because He was going to heal me. A week before the surgery that would change my life I still remember laughing with friends and shooting marshmallows out of a straw. I was happy and excited about the surgery because I knew whatever came next was part of His plan. Looking back now, I can see how His wonderful plan unfolded. The surgery I had removed most of my femur and bits of my tibia and replaced it with titanium, but I still moved on to become a swimmer and weightlifter. I am living my best life knowing that If God is on my side nothing can stop me. It wasn’t until last year that I began to hear His call into ministry. I felt like my story from cancer to God could help so many people around the world. People who are struggling to find hope in their current situation, such as cancer, depression, family issues, addictions, and so much more. So I decided that I wanted to pursue Christian ministries to share God’s hope with the world through his story and mine. I applied for schools that had strong ministry programs and I hope that someday, the knowledge I receive from college will help me share the hope God gave me during that time of my life. My goal is to be God’s light for others walking through the same darkness. My journey may have started with cancer, but it will continue with hope.

My story begins when my parents divorced. I was young at the time and didn't understand what was happening between my parents. I grew up traveling between different households and different worlds. Nothing ever felt constant. At eleven years old I began to see my mom for what she really was. She was a narcissist set on trying to keep my sister and me away from our dad at the risk of our own safety and happiness. I hated how she treated me and my sister as second to getting back at my dad and I was determined to change my mom so she would care more about loving her kids well. So I tried and tried and in the process, I dug myself into a deep hole of anxiety, depression, loneliness, and eventually suicidal thoughts. She was adamant that she had done nothing wrong and in the process of trying to show her how much she had hurt me, I found myself stuck in a dark whirlwind. The thoughts of suicide would not leave my head as I struggled through life. After struggling through the pain in my mind for several months, I finally found peace when I stopped going to her house and pulled myself out of the hole. I would never wish this experience on anyone, but the struggle with my mental health has changed how I live and how I view the world. My goal in life is to be a light for those who are still struggling through this darkness. As a survivor of this battle, it is now my responsibility to help others who are suffering through it and it started the moment I defeated the darkness. Several people in my friend group have or are struggling with their mental health and I have been able to help them fight the monsters in their head and seek help. It was when people came together to help me fight and be by my side when it was too hard, that I overcame it. Now I have made it my life goal to come alongside those people who need someone who cares. Now I see the world for what it is. We are a broken people and my generation especially is struggling with mental health. One in five teens between the ages of twelve and eighteen struggle with their mental health. These people need help. These people need an ally in the battle who will carry them when they can't walk. It's time for this world to unite to help fight this battle to bring back the goodness to each person's life and it starts with you and me. It starts by seeing the problems and deciding that it's time to help them through the pain. With this in mind, I have decided to do everything in my power to seek out, sit with, and fight with those who are struggling with their mental health.

Spider-man has remained one of the most beloved superheroes by billions of people around the world. He is the most relatable character in the universe as his journey through high school reflects many of the same struggles current high scholars struggle through and the best part is we can see three different stories played by three different and incredible actors. Toby Maguire, Tom Holland, and Andrew Garfield all have different stories that make us all fall in love with the character more than the last. My favorite of the three actors is Tom Holland. Tom Holland not only grabs your attention from the beginning with his young look but also with his sense of humor. We often see him vlogging a lot of his experiences with other Marvel characters and his commentary always has me laughing. I especially love the funny relationship he has with Tony Stark who definitely seems to be a father figure in his life. The relationships he has with other people also seem to be less tense than the relationships Toby Maguire had with his peers. While both of them have come to be seen as school nerds, Tom Holland's character has accepted the role and does not seem to care as much about what people think of him. He let his natural nerdiness show without being awkward. Even off-screen, Tom Holland usually has me laughing. In order to be in a natural environment for the movie he enrolled in a high school and when he told others that he was Spider-Man, they all thought he was crazy. Another great part of Tom Holland's character is how much he cares for his friends. When Ned needed to look cool at a party, he asked Spider-Man to show up to help him out. Peter Parker being the great friend he was, showed up. When he started having feelings for MJ, he got her a black Dahlia necklace that complimented her quirkiness. I showed up for his friends in his own nerdy way and helped them in unique ways. Even after MJ forgot who he was, he went back to check on her to make sure his friend was going to be okay without him. Finally, I loved Tom Holland's version of Spiderman because of how it relates to modern-day high schoolers. I may not be able to invent web fluid in a lab, but I can relate to the struggles Peter Parker faced in high school with girl and boy drama. Take for instance the time when Brad Davis blipped back into existence. In Far from Home, Peter had to fight for MJ’s affection because Brad was flirting with MJ. This kind of drama is quite frequent in high school and it feels good to know even our favorite superhero could not escape from it. Even outside of the school walls, we can see his struggles with his teen years as he helps friends try to fit in at parties and struggle to be a nerd among the popular kids. While not everyone has the same opinion as to who the best Spider-Man is, my favorite is Tom Holland. His humor, love for his friends, and struggles through high school are things that I can relate to daily. Even off camera, his attitude towards others does not change and he usually has me laughing even on the worst of days.

It’s that time of year when the leaves start turning brilliant hues of red, orange, and yellow. It is that wonderful season when my scarf comes off the hanger and my knee-high boots are ready to be worn. It is finally fall. It’s finally time to sit outside as the season changes with a pumpkin spice latte, extra whip, held in my hand. I love it when September rolls around because the only thing I can think of is my Starbucks pumpkin spice latte. It holds so many memories for me. It was the first drink I ever got from Starbucks and ultimately, it was what made me fall in love with the brand (and with coffee). The first time I ever got this fall favorite, I was with my best friend who had grown up with me. We entered the store on a beautiful fall day before her guitar lessons and I had no idea what to get. Being a Starbucks fanatic, she encouraged me to try a small Pumpkin Spice Latte and it changed my life. I recently moved away and am not able to see my best friend as much anymore, but whenever I have my favorite fall drink I think of her and the memories we have had at a Starbucks table. I remember the feeling that no matter what, everything was going to be okay. No sooner had I tried the signature Starbucks drink, did I get my mom to try it. Although she is not a big fan of Starbucks, she quickly fell in love with the pumpkin spice latte. Now every fall we make memories by spending a day together drinking our lattes and talking about the ups and downs in life. We know that fall would not be complete without our Starbucks drinks on the front porch watching the leaves fall. When life gets tough, this drink is what brings us together. The fall season is a grind. We are going back to school to push through one more year. For seniors, this last year is the only thing separating us from our dreams. Work picks up again, things need to be done, and the earth keeps spinning. What keeps me going is the changing leaves and the family sitting around the table. What keeps me standing is the fall decorations adorning my house and the pumpkin spice latte that I get to share with the people I love.

The world is full of so many great pieces of literature that can change so many people’s lives. I have read quite a few books and the one that truly has made an impact on my life and so many others is the Bible. Bible means “the books” as in a collection of books. The Bible is in itself a library of different literary genres with so many incredible stories. The Old Testament is founded on the story of a God who frees His people from an oppressive nation out of love for them and then walks with them on a crazy story of faith, disobedience, destruction, and unwarranted redemption. The Old Testament alone has given people all over the world, Jewish and Christian, a story that leads to a faithful God who cares deeply for them. The New Testament only gets better. It tells of a man named Jesus who came to earth and claimed to be the son of God. He taught the people all over Galilea and Judea about the goodness of God and his coming kingdom. Unfortunately, many of the Jewish priests did not believe what he was saying and schemed to kill Him for his blasphemy. The Jewish leaders convinced Rome, the conquering nation at the time, to torture Him and execute Him on a crucifix. But that wasn’t the end of the story. Three days after He was buried Jesus proved He was the Son of God by rising from the dead. He purposely died so that he could pass through the spiritual death that people face so that they would not be bound by their sins anymore. He then ascended into heaven to receive the glory. The story is beyond fascinating and has become the foundation of faith and hope for 2.6 billion people worldwide. The greatest part about the book is that there is historical evidence that Jesus walked the earth, died, rose again, and ascended to be with God. And someday, when the time is right, Jesus is coming back again to be with those who believe and have a relationship with Him. The Bible is the path to hope, peace, and grace in Jesus Christ.

My dream version of my future self is a missionary traveling the world showing broken people the kingdom of God, unafraid of those who will persecute me.

What are most girls doing at eleven years old? Most girls are probably at school messing around with their friends while the teacher is trying to talk. Most girls are probably going home to rush through their homework so they hang out with family and friends. Most girls would have sleepovers, go to the mall, or have adventures outside on the weekends. But I was not like most girls. What I remember doing was being ushered into a small doctor’s office. I jumped up onto the high examination bed and heard the paper crinkle underneath me. My parents took a seat in the blue plush chairs to the side of me. I could feel the anxiety that sat in my throat as I waited for the doctor to come in with my test results. I had no idea what was going on. The doctor finally came in after a long wait followed by a large group of other people in scrubs. He sat in the tiny swivel chair across from me with a piece of paper in his hands. After a hasty introduction, He handed me the CT scan and asked me if I knew what a tumor was. It was at that moment that my mind shut down. I didn’t understand what was happening or why all these people were crowding around me looking solemn. When I didn’t answer I was told that I had bone cancer. The next nine months of my life were a whirlwind of hospital visits, needles, surgeries, medications, and fatigue. I lost my hair, I lost some friends, and I lost part of my leg, but I never lost my fight. I was determined not to let cancer have the final say and I won. I spent my time at the hospital having fun with other people struggling through the same things and having faith that there was a light at the end of the tunnel. My family came alongside me as I fought for my freedom from the disease. They were with me when I lost my hair and when most of my femur was replaced with titanium. They fueled me to keep going even when the fight got hard. My family was with me as I rang the bell announcing to the world that I had won and cancer could not defeat me. I learned many things from my time at the hospital, but the biggest lesson I learned is that no matter how hard life gets, people are always going to be there to help you fight through it. I know now that I have a family that will stand beside me geared up for battle to help me defeat anything that comes my way, be it cancer or college. So this is my battle cry. When life wants war, I am ready for battle.