Mental illness has affected me in ways that I want no one else to go through. I have suffered from PTSD, anxiety and depression. I am currently recovering from my abusive household. My anxiety has not changed and my depression is lowering. I have been abused since I was five years old. The abuse has stopped at the age of 14 because I called DCFS on my father. My father was mentally, physically and sexually abusive. He is currently in prison 15 for life. My case took two years to finally be over. They had the evidence and the signs and I didn’t tell a lie yet it took them two years to put him away completely. I feel guilty every single day because of it. But he always blamed me and my mother for what happened to me. My mother wasn’t around because she was a drug addict. She never abused us but she did neglect us. I know it’s not her fault though. My mother is one of the strongest people I know. She has been abused by my dad and her boyfriends since she was 16. She had me when she was 17 but she would be 18 in December. A year later she had my brother. I am the oldest of 9 and I raised only 3 of them. My youngest brother Wesley is currently adopted. I have raised him from a newborn into the 9 year old boy he was. I was practically the mother in my household. I wish to express the same love to other foster children that I have received. I am a victim but I will not be treated as such. I am a strong, independent woman and I will keep going until the day God decides to take me off this Earth. I will keep going until I die of old age. I am so thankful for the support system that I have. I am grateful to my foster parents, my siblings, my caseworker, and my boyfriend. If it weren’t for them I wouldn’t be here typing this essay. If they hadn’t helped me get through the depression and suicidal thoughts I wouldn’t be here. This is why I want to keep going. I want to prove to other foster kids that they are not alone and to the kids who are too scared to speak up, “ I am here for you.” I wish to tell the world my story but through the lyrics of mine and my little sisters written songs. I wish to be able to express our story in a way that will reach out to others. I want to reach out to them because they are not alone. They were never alone and it took me forever to realize that. But it’s time that they started realizing it too.