Life is random. We don't always get the cards we wish we were dealt. I was fortunate enough to grow up in a family where I didn't have to starve, where I had a roof over my head, clothes on my back, and a few things to bring me joy. Unfortunately, that doesn't mean I get the same start that others get. I have had little financial education, few opportunities to make money, and the people in my life who could assist me have been few. Most of the stuff schools teach isn't beneficial to day-to-day life, and is instead beneficial for certain career paths. Luckily, I was able to have the option of choosing two different classes that offered a bit of insight regarding finances. One was a Practical Math class where I learned how to do the math on a W-2, compare the finances of renting versus buying a car, and more. The other was a finance class. It was only a semester long, and it mostly taught stuff I had already figured out on my own. Such as the easiest ways to afford college. After COVID, my mental health took a turn for the worse. I did my schooling at home, which limited my access to in-person opportunities, and my mental health made it impossible for me to take advantage of the opportunities I did get. Luckily, I was able to slowly make progress with my mental health. I was able to have goals again, and I started to rediscover my willpower. This year I got my first job. I convinced my parents to let me get two savings accounts, and I got a checking account as well. Once I turn 18 next week, I will be getting a third savings account. It has a higher interest rate than a typical savings account. I learned about it from a video online. I try to make sure my feed includes tips for adulthood, so I can learn the things that no one has taught me. After I earn 999 dollars in my high-yield savings account, the interest will go down. Which is why I plan to withdraw the money, close the account, and open a certificate of deposit. Which is another account I learned about online. I was very fortunate. My parents were able to buy me a car off of Facebook Marketplace, and they intend to help pay for my community college. Not many people have parents who will or can provide for them in that way. Unfortunately, even if I am getting a lot of help, there will still be expenses in my future. I will have my bills once my parents stop paying them shortly after I start college, university, and everything else I need, once I truly start adulthood. That is why I am trying so hard to earn scholarship money. I won't have my parents' assistance forever, and the assistance I do have will be limited. Even if I have been blessed, there will still be many more financial obstacles to overcome. I have applied to 160 scholarships, turned down offers to universities to attend the cheaper option, and I will be getting a second job this summer. All so I can better afford my future. I have had to miss out on making memories, orthodontic procedures, and the original college experience I wanted. I am tired of being afraid that I won't accomplish my dreams. I'm tired of feeling sad and hopeless. I am working to achieve my goals despite my financial obstacles and with the help of those by my side.

You can create a world within a world using words. You can temporarily bridge the gap between fiction and reality because when you read, your mind is sent into the story. Your imagination takes control and brings you closer to the characters. Writing is the act of unleashing your imagination and giving others the ability to see what lies inside of you. I love writing short stories, a fact I found out about myself recently. I continue to hone my skills and become better, and hopefully do it as a side career in the future. I've always loved reading fiction. However, it was only last year when I found out that I loved writing it too. It started as assignments for my creative writing class, but I soon realized that I genuinely enjoyed it. I have had many fantasies during my teenage years, most of which I often wished were in the form of a story. There's simply something magical about turning a fantasy into a story. To give your characters life and to be able to share their lives with others. Recently, I have been trying to write more poetic written works. Poems, both reading and writing, have proven to be a difficult concept for me to grasp. However, as of late, I have found myself becoming more in touch with my poetic side. An aspect of myself I hope to continuously improve upon. I find that it's easier to write emotional pieces when you are still feeling a raw, intense emotion. Not only does it make your work more compelling, but it serves as a form of self-expression that has relieved me of my overwhelming emotions. I don't want to write as my primary profession in the future; however, I plan to do it on the side of my main career. I want to share my work with the world and offer it to people who would enjoy it while making money off of it. My main form of inspiration is Edgar Allen Poe. His work carried such emotion while also having such engaging, dark topics. All goals I hope to master as well as him someday, a task I plan to do while in college. I hope to be able to join some club or class dedicated to creative writing where I can meet peers who share the same interest, and can aid me with advice to better my craft. I do find it hard at times to find pride in my work when being surrounded by so many talented writers in my club, who are better than I in certain ways. However, instead of letting it deter me, I try and use it to fuel my written works and drive me to continue learning and practicing. Writing has given me a sense of pride and enjoyment that I rarely am able to provide for myself. It gives me relief, direction, completion, and joy. I hope to inspire others to embrace this bliss as I do so myself. I love writing, and I hope to never tire of it.

I can only do so much, but I try and do that much whenever I can. I want to study counseling psychology in college so that I can engage in a career in which I can counsel people. I have helped people, and I want to learn how to be better at it so I can help even more. All of my friends during my teenage years have been online. During a time when I was having my own mental struggles. Due to this, I became more sensitive. Luckily, being sensitive allows me to be able to understand people's struggles better. An ability I regularly exercise when I give my friends advice. I relate to the emotion they feel, show them that I understand where they are coming from, tell them how I relate, and offer advice on how they can move forward in a way that will lead to a better outcome. This shows them that their feelings are valid, that they aren't alone, and it offers a potential solution to their problem. As you are aware, I plan to study counseling psychology. In the future, I want a job in this field, so I can be there for teenagers and possibly families. I want to help them with their struggles and aid them in the betterment of their future. I care so much about people, and I want them all to lead happy lives. I will have done my job if I can do that for at least a few people. I think everyone deserves to be happy, and I believe that it is unfair to say that happy endings are for people in fairy tales. If that happens to be true, then I will do everything in my power to make sure that everyone I care about, including myself, gets their own fairytale. As far as we know, we only get one life. We should live it to the fullest.

I'm no hero, but I try and be a good person. I've had struggles that prevented me from being all that I could, but I tried to offer help when it seemed needed. I offer assistance, advice, and a shoulder to lean on. I'm hoping that someone will offer me that same help to get into college. Not because my assistance wasn't free, but because I am desperate. I have suffered from poor mental health since I was 12. This led me to be pretty low in ambition and to want to hide out in my room a lot. Due to this, I missed out on a lot of opportunities. Some of which include opportunities to be an active member of my community. However, I have offered assistance to my family. My nana passed away this year, so sometimes my papaw ends up alone at his house. I go over there and stay for a few days to keep him company, and to make sure he is alright. He has epilepsy, so I make sure he is safe if/when he has seizures. Additionally, I have dog sat for them before. My nana was in bed a lot during this period of time, and my papaw had to work. Mind you, the pet in question was a puppy. I fed him, cleaned his crate, and played with him. Moreover, there was a period of time where my little cousin's primary parent was single and taking care of them by themself. I would assist my mother in babysitting, and I have babysat them on my own. My family doesn't qualify for as much financial assistance as other families would. However, we are far from rich. We live in a trailer house and have one working vehicle because my dad's is broken down. My two k9 teeth are in the wrong position and need to be manually corrected. As you know, my nana passed away recently. However, she also passed away in debt. We had to contribute to paying off. We are also supporting a close family member while they get back on their feet. Not only that, but the costs of everything college-related, too. I won't be able to go to school full-time, have a job, and have a life. I don't want to dump all the costs on my parents either. I try and keep the people I interact with mindful of how they are on the internet. I encourage them and offer tips on how to be safe. Additionally, I also offer guidance if they feel they are being bullied. I offer support and/or a way to try and rectify the situation. I aim to always comfort people while encouraging them to be strong so they can help themselves out of hard situations. When they can't, I make sure that I am available for them to vent to. Once I am in college, I intend to do official community service and to positively affect a wider variety of individuals. I want to be a good person who does good things. I am currently in the process of becoming that, and I have witnessed many situations in which I have exhibited character development. However, I can do more, and I will do more. I just need the resources to do it. Rest assured, I am trying to make that happen. I have applied to over 110 scholarships, and I am not anywhere near giving up. I don't have the money to afford college without assistance, which is why I really hope that I will at least be considered for this scholarship.

Mental health is important to me because a bad mental health state made me miserable. I was 12 years old, and yet I felt as though I was worthless. I was 12 and I couldn't stop the negative thoughts coursing through my head every time I looked in the mirror. I was 12 when I cried myself to sleep every night. I was 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17 when I hated myself. I was a teenager. I felt as though I was so unbearably disgusting. I felt annoying, ugly, fat, lazy, useless, and dumb. I was a kid when I hated almost everything about myself. I would judge myself through other people and make it to where I was unable to socialize in fear of them thinking about me as I thought about myself. I was 14 when I couldn't move forward. I couldn't go where people could see me. I couldn't go to a group of people. My legs were rigid, unable to carry me forward any farther. Forcing me to go back home. Tears in my eyes in shame and self-hatred. I hated how I couldn't do simple things. I hated how I acted, how I looked, how I talked, how I'd think. I could list the things I hated about myself front and back on a page, but I couldn't do the same for love. I felt hopeless and helpless. Every time I tried to get better, I realized I wasn't. I thought a happy life wasn't in the cards for me. I was 16 when I felt miserable on my birthday. Misunderstood, alone, and sad. I felt as though there was no good in aging. I felt that I would only become more miserable as time went on and my responsibilities and stress grew. I had few opportunities to truly live, and the opportunities I did have, I passed up on. For years, I felt stagnant. I watched the earth keep spinning while I sat in space, gasping for breath, and wondering where it went wrong. Though I kept getting on the rocket and opening the door. I kept allowing space to suck me back in because I didn't know how to live in any other way. I was a kid, and I'd imagine happy scenarios to feel peace. I wasn't even an adult, and I was barely hanging on. Mental health is important because a bad mental health can destroy you, and once you're destroyed, you start destroying your life too. My experiences have made me much more sensitive. Luckily, that has its upsides. I am way more empathetic than I used to be. A skill I regularly exercise. It is hard to understand everyone's pain, but I don't regret it. I enjoy being kind and considerate. I enjoy making people's lives easier. You never know what someone is going through or what hurts them. Which is why I always try and consider other people's feelings before moving forward. I show them the importance of their feelings, how I relate, how to make things better, and I offer myself as a source of support whenever they need it. Mental health is just as important as any other form of health. Especially since your mental and physical health go hand in hand. If you're not doing well in the head, you can't do well in the rest of you. Being kind can help a lot of people in monumental ways. I implore everyone to engage in kind acts more often. The world needs a little more kindness.

Everything you do changes your life in some way or another. Your life is constructed of every little decision you make, and what you do impacts who you are. I've done things that have impacted who I am, whether I feel any different or not. The people in my life have had the same effect. I haven't had a genuine job, but I have worked self-employment related jobs. I've washed cars and babysat for money. I learned that if you really want to clean a car, you are going to have to go over spots several times. It's not a quick activity. If you want it to be worth your time, then you're going to have to take your time and go all the way. When babysitting, I was reminded how rambunctious kids can be. However, they aren't always like that. Sometimes they like to relax and do the little things. I also learned how important it is to pay attention to what content little kids are consuming. My little cousin, 5 at the time I believe, showed me his favorite song. It was a rap song with inappropriate lyrics. I even put on the clean version, and it still wasn't favorable. So, I introduced my cousin to a bunch of kid friendly songs to dance to. Such as "popseeko" and other remnants of my own childhood. He was dancing, having fun, it was age appropriate, and it tuckered him out. My poor mental health led me to have a low ambition for a couple years. Hence why I haven't achieved many impressive feats. I don't consider this volunteering, but it was something nice that I willingly did. My nana passed away this year, so sometimes my papaw doesn't have anyone to be at his house with him. He has epilepsy, and he gets lonely being in that house all by himself. Which is why I go over there for a couple days and spend time with him, and make sure he is safe if/when he has a seizure. I have also dog sat for my grandparents and babysat my cousins during a point in time when their primary parent was taking care of them herself. My parents teach me to better myself. My mom is the reason why I am pursuing college. Deep down I wanted to go, but I was in a bad place and my head was too clouded with excuses to actually do anything about it. However, her push was exactly what I needed to start working towards my goal. Since then, I finally feel like I am on the verge of the happy life that I dreamed about for so long. I would like to be an even kinder individual. I want to be the type of person who would give the shirt right off their back to help someone in need. Figuratively speaking of course, but you get the idea. Over the years, I have gotten more sensitive. Which can be quite painful, but it also allows me to be more understanding to other people. Due to which, I have often sought out the kinder approach. Something I hope to continue as I grow older. Additionally, I want to be able to completely stand up for myself without feeling bad or afraid, and to embrace who I am without shame or fear. I can see the growth I have had as a person, and I plan to work harder on my personal growth while in college. I yearn to put a little more goodness back in the world, and I will make that happen.

The thought of losing my nana would bring tears to my eyes. I ached for her recovery. I waited at my grandmother's bedside, hoping she'd get better, but she didn't. I wished for enough money to accomplish my goals, but I haven't received any. Growing up, my Nana and Granny Net had cancer. I watched as they struggled, and with them, I struggled too. I remember my nana spinning me and my brother around when we were little. I remember her promise to continue doing that once she got better, but she never got better. Not really, anyway. My Nana has had lung cancer, cervical cancer, and a brain tumor. She faced struggle after struggle, none of which she deserved. She spent years using oxygen. I watched as she slowly got weaker and weaker. She beat cancer, but she still died. I lost my nana, and with her, a piece of myself. My Granny Net had esophageal cancer. I didn't spend as much time with her as I did with my Nana, but I still loved her. It was hard watching her struggle. For a long time, my family would visit her bedside. We spent time with her, talked, and we were there during her last moments. I used to be upset about the fact that I had to go to the nursing home every day after school, and go there early on the weekends too. I get it now, and I'm glad I went. I visited with her more than I ever did, and I got to know her before having to let her go. My family is far from rich, yet we make too much money to qualify for certain things. We struggle, and it seems like no one cares. My Nana passed away this year, and she was in debt. We had to contribute to the costs. We are supporting a family member until they can get back on their feet. My dad's truck broke down, and we need to fix it. Two of my teeth are in the wrong position and need to be manually corrected. We were far from being rich, but we have been even further as of this year. It certainly doesn't help that I am going to college next year, and everything costs money. Applying to schools costs money, an honor membership costs money, taking tests costs money, and getting an ID costs money. That's not even everything my family has been/will pay for this year. Losing my nana was one of the most painful hurts I have ever endured, but it taught me the importance of calling your family. Even if you don't enjoy talking on the phone. Do it, because that might be your last opportunity to talk to them. Losing my granny hurt too, but it taught me that while moments are hard, someday you will appreciate doing them. Coming from a low-income household has forced me to know what hard work is. I have applied to over 100 scholarships. I am determined to be able to attend college. I will make it happen. Not only that, but I will be a better person in the end. I can see the progress in myself every day. I see the kindness I lend in places I used to withhold it. I will continue to better myself as a person for the rest of my life, and I will make my family proud. I will get the job I want because it will make me happy and provide me with enough money to care for and spoil my family.

I am a 17-year-old, mixed-race, and bisexual girl. I have faced mental struggles and loss. I live in a small city, and I want to grow to be a Public Relations Manager. More than that, I want to be happy. My mental struggles started when I was 12. It started with a feeling of worthlessness that spiraled into a full-blown self-hatred. I have cried myself to sleep, fought with an uncontrollable negative voice, and spiraled into the sadness more times than I can count. I would fantasize about a happy life to provide me with peace, but I had no courage to try and achieve such. It certainly didn't help matters that my parents didn't understand me, or ever try to do so. Growing up, I was ashamed of myself for liking girls while being a girl. It was a secret shame I promised to take with me to the grave. However, as I got older, my feelings only grew. Videos online showed me that it was okay to feel how I felt, and eventually, I accepted this about myself. Once I did, I felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from me. One year, when I was in pre-k, I didn't want to nap. It was the first time that it had happened, and so I just lay on my mat. However, my teacher was displeased for some reason. She woke up the rest of the kids, gave them all glow-in-the-dark bracelets, except for me, and prevented my friend from showing me his. She said that I don't get one because I didn't nap. I was confused. She had never done this as a punishment for any other student. There have been several situations like this, but I never thought of it as racist until I got older. I love being mixed, but it's also hard. I'm not white enough to escape racism, but I'm also not black enough to truly count as a black person to some people. I'm in a forever state of the in-between. An outcast since day one. Roughly 7 months ago, I lost my nana. It was the week before I was planning to go to her house for spring break. I remember how weak and sick my body felt that day. I remember the tears I shed and the ache in my heart. Thinking back to life with her feels like it was all remnants of a dream, but it also feels as though my life now is the dream. Things just feel wrong without her. Losing her enforced the idea that time with your loved ones is limited. Which is why I try and call my papaw more often, and be more considerate to the ones I hold dear. I enjoy the same things I always have. Friendships, music, TV, books, and writing. I plan to engage in more as I get older. Additionally, I am interested in becoming a public relations manager. They make good money, and it seems like something I would be passionate about. In order to do this job, I need a bachelor's degree. Depending on where I go to school, my major will be business administration. Which I believe to be beneficial due to the number of jobs in that field that I could enjoy. I may not have struggled as much as other people have, but I have struggled. That struggle has led me to find out what I want in life. Which is to have many new experiences, fond memories, succeed financially, and grow as a person.

I’ve always been insecure, even as a child. However, that only got worse as I got older. It started around the time when COVID was uprooting everyone’s lives. It prevented me from socializing. I was left alone with my dark thoughts and no friend to vent or relate to. I felt as if COVID ruined my life. I went from feeling a little insecure to feeling worthless, to hating myself. I never gave in to the dark feelings completely, but it continues to plague me even as I grow older. When I was 12 years old, I started to feel worthless. Like my life didn’t matter. That was only the beginning, because that eventually turned into me crying every night. All I remember thinking was how much I hated the way I looked. After some time, though, I didn’t cry as much. Instead, I tried to get better. However, around this point in time, every moment I looked in the mirror, a voice I couldn’t control would appear. It would insult me and fill my head with the negative thoughts I tried to stay away from. At some point, I started wishing that I would die in my sleep. It took me a little while before realizing that I didn’t want to die; I just didn’t want to feel the way I did. As time went by, the voice became less apparent. I find it easier to make sense of my feelings when I think of it as a second/inner me. That version of me is hidden behind a door inside of me. However, the door is unlocked whenever I’m sad or even angry sometimes. Momentary sadness can send me spiraling and leave me aching to curl into a ball in the corner and wilt away. I don’t, though; I know those emotions are temporary, and I know that calm me would regret giving in to those emotions. In any case, when I do feel those emotions, for the short time I do feel them, everything feels impossible. I don’t want to do anything with myself, and the thought of giving up brings me painful comfort. Lately, it feels as if I’m on the verge of truly wanting to give up. Outside and In. My emotions have always felt monumental, but recently they’ve been deeper. It’s darkness that resides in my gut and in my chest. However, I refuse to give up when I’m so close to being able to control my life and bring myself the peace and happiness I’ve been wishing for. I want to get help, as well as to be able to experience a lot of great things that I’ve been missing out on. The fear of my life ending before it even starts plagues me. I want a good life, and I’m willing to work for it. I have a multitude of dreams, but at the end of the day, all I want is to be truly happy. However, it certainly didn't help when my family didn't seem to understand how I felt. Once at a family reunion, I was forced to go to, I was left alone with no one to talk to. Being too shy to make the first move with anyone else, I stood alone under the stars, trying to look mentally occupied and not lonely. Due to some later feedback, it appeared as though my efforts were for naught. In any case, I was told by my parents that I "wanted to be lonely". There have been many situations like this where my family hasn't tried understanding me. However, I know that despite that, my family does truly love me. They have been there for me in ways I'll never forget. The mental struggles I have gone through have reshaped my perspective on things. It made life a lot harder, but it helped give me the ability to be empathetic. Now, more than ever, I'm capable of imagining myself in other people's shoes. Due to that, as well as my overwhelming care for most things. I choose to be kinder. I put in effort every day to try and be nice or forgiving, because it feels much better than the alternative. My struggles have also shown me what I really want in life. Which is a lot of wonderful new experiences. I want to go to college, travel, spend time with friends, get a job I'm passionate about, get married, adopt a pet, and adopt children. I plan on working hard to make sure I have a joyful life, because I've spent too long dreaming about one and thinking it was never going to happen for me. I believe that real happiness is obtainable, and I know I'll be able to obtain it. I believe in my ability to do so.

I was 12 years old, and I felt as though I was worthless. I was 12 and I couldn't stop the negative thoughts coursing through my head every time I looked in the mirror. I was 12 when I cried myself to sleep every night. I was 12 through 17 when I hated myself. I was just a teenager. Yet, I felt as though I was so unbearably disgusting. I was a kid when I hated almost everything about myself. I would judge myself through other people and make it so that I was unable to socialize in fear of them thinking about me as I thought about myself. I was 14 when I couldn't move forward. I couldn't go where people could see me. I couldn't go to a group of people. My legs were rigid, unable to carry me forward any farther. Forcing me to go back home. Tears in my eyes in shame and self-hatred. I hated how I couldn't do simple things. I hated how I acted, how I looked, how I talked, how I'd think. I could list the things I hated about myself front and back on a page, but I couldn't do the same for love. Every time I tried to get better, it proved to be futile. I thought a happy life wasn't in the cards for me. I was 16 when I felt miserable on my birthday. Misunderstood, alone, and sad. I felt as though there was no good in aging. I felt that I would only become more miserable as time went on and my responsibilities and stress grew. I had few opportunities to truly live, and the opportunities I did have, I passed up on. For years, I felt stagnant. I watched the earth keep spinning while I was in space, gasping for breath, and wondering where it went wrong. However, I kept allowing space to suck me back in because I didn't know how to live any other way. I was a kid, and I'd imagine happy scenarios to feel peace. I wasn't even an adult, and I was barely hanging on. My experiences make me want to help other people, so they never have to feel how I did. No one deserves that much hurt. Which is why I want to perform some sort of counseling for people. Particularly teens and/or families. I feel the need to do as much as I can to help. I care so much about the well-being of my fellow person, and I want to help them get everything they want in life. I want to help them embrace their selves and dedicate themselves to their betterment. I’ve been focusing on getting into college. For the first time in a long time, I saw light at the end of the tunnel. I finally feel like a happy future is possible. I believe that actively working towards a brighter future has helped me get better. I have grown as a person. I have become kinder, more considerate, and I am learning to embrace who I am. I am excited to build my future. I am excited for the experiences I’ll have, the things I’ll learn, and the memories I will make. The struggle was hard, but I think I needed it to find out what I was made of. I needed to do that so I could be able to build the life that I want for myself, and I will help others do the same.

Everyone is born with a deck of cards, some good and some bad. A bad deck doesn't mean you don't deserve to lose. Especially if you're trying hard to win regardless of your limitations. I know what it is like to have had a bad hand, and I know how unfair things may seem with one. However, hard-working students deserve to succeed even if they came from less. Starting with less than others, or with more struggles than others, provides a significant disadvantage. It is like trying to get to the roof while in the basement, and other people are on the 1st or 2nd floor. No matter how hard you try, you will still feel behind. However, people who work hard to bridge and exceed that gap deserve to succeed. Despite their situation being unfair, they didn't get discouraged; they just tried harder. If they do as well or better than people who had a head start, then why shouldn't their efforts be rewarded all the same? I grew up in a rural small city. I am mixed with Caucasian and African American. I am not white enough to escape racism, yet I am not black enough to confidently say that I am so without receiving judgment. I am bisexual, so I had to push myself through self-judgment, acceptance, and then judgment from others as well. Additionally, at 12 years old, I started having mental struggles. It went from feeling worthless to full-on hating myself. I have battled a negative voice in my head, the sadness in my heart, the never-ending subtle pressure of stress, and the downward spiral into said sadness for years on end. For so long, I dreamed of better days, but never had enough strength to try and work towards them. There was no reason why my life should feel over before it had even started. There was no reason why the world should be constantly telling a little girl that the older she gets, the more miserable she will be, nor should they tell her that her feelings are invalid. That her struggles aren't real, and she is just being dramatic. It wasn't fair that I had to drop that low just so I would have to claw my way back up and go as far as my torn-up nails and the ripped flesh of my fingers would take me. None of it was fair. Yet, I am still trying. I have completed over 100 scholarship applications, applied to at least 15 colleges, and am still actively trying to make my dream of going to college come true. Being less fortunate doesn't make you unworthy of having your dreams come true. If anything, it makes you more deserving. The world tried to set you ablaze in fear of what you could become, and yet you rose from the ashes. Battered but breathing. You fought to continue, and you fought against the world that tried to tear you down. That perseverance deserves its due recognition.

I have watched many movies. A few of which I can remember. However, when I think of the most impactful movie I have seen, I don't think of any movie with a complex plot, explosive action, or a wild romance. The most impactful movie for me was Shrek. When describing myself, I often quote Shrek. He said, "Ogres are like onions. They have layers." I, too, have layers. There are many levels of comfort that I have when getting to know someone. When I reach a new level of comfort, it's like new aspects of a video game character are unlocked. Moreover, I am full of self-contradictions. I love physical touch, but I hate being the one being touched. Unless it's a hug or scalp scratches, and even then, it has to be with someone I am super comfortable with. Another example of this is how I am with people. I dislike people as a whole, care for them immensely, get nervous when it comes to socializing, but also crave relationships. I am a paradoxical person, and explaining that can sometimes be hard. Which is why I appreciate Shrek and his relatable ways. It makes me feel seen, and it makes my explanations easier to comprehend. Shrek did like being alone, but his isolation was a way to avoid being hurt. I relate to that monumentally. My teenage years have been dark, and ever since COVID happened, I have found myself alone a lot more. I have grown to relish my alone time, but for a while, I also used it as a crutch. My room was my haven. My haven felt miles away from the troubles of people and the world. However, it also felt miles away from people in general. Like Shrek, I found myself lonely. I craved human connection with people who could relate to me, and like Shrek, I eventually took a leap and let people in. Growing up, I never thought about the meanings behind the movie. However, as I got older, I couldn't stop myself from finding them. Shrek may not have directly changed my life, but he was a role model. He exhibited strength in changing for the better and was not afraid to show his vulnerability. I am not as advanced as he is in his progression, but I hope to be someday. In the meantime, I will continue to strive to be a better person. I will strive to be like him.

I am bisexual. My interest in girls was a secret shame I intended to take to the grave. The denial and guilt of it pressed down on me for six years. Until I was able to accept that aspect of myself. Growing up, I was ashamed of the fact that I was interested in girls. I thought it was wrong. It was a secret that lorded over me for years. It rested upon my shoulder with a crushing weight. I was so guilty and ashamed that I planned to carry it with me to the grave. However, as I got older, my interest in females only grew. I discovered what LGBTQ was. I saw videos and read stories of people like me, and it made me feel more normal. I slowly started to make peace with myself as the denial slipped away. I went from straight to straight-ish to bisexual. I came out to friends, but not family. I was afraid they'd see me differently. I knew they probably wouldn't be happy about it, but would still love me. Yet, I was too afraid to make the move. However, now, it was enough just to make peace with myself. Years pass, and I have come out to my family at 17. I was very nervous, and their reactions were as I predicted. My dad is the most supportive. I want to explore many aspects of myself while in college. Including my sexuality. I will embrace who I am, and I hope to help others do the same. I want to go to college so that I can get the degree I need to pursue my future career. Moreover, I want to have many new experiences and develop good memories. Additionally, I want to find new hobbies, interests and do more with myself. If I were to win this scholarship, it would bring me one step closer to achieving all of those goals, as well as the goals I have for my future after college. Going to college is expensive, and I can't afford it. For too many years, I’ve felt as if I'm stuck in outer space. Watching the world continue to spin without me-without my soul. Yet my body remains inside, continuing like a zombie. I watch as it grows older and changes. I watch the smiles it puts on and the tears those empty eyes produce. I felt as though making my way back to earth was impossible. I distracted myself with thoughts of a blissful future, but never tried to act on it. I only moved further away. Further into the darkness. I moved so far into the void that the freezing atmosphere started to feel warm. What felt like comfort was killing me. I just couldn’t bear to look at myself long enough to see it. I'm tired of living like that. I will go to college, and I will accomplish my goals. I implore you to give me the chance to do that. Give me a second chance at life and bring me one step closer to building a life that can offer me happiness. I will not take it for granted, and I will make the most of it.

I am a 17-year-old, mixed-race, and bisexual girl. I have faced mental struggles and loss. I live in a small city, and I want to grow to be a Public Relations Manager. More than that, I want to be happy. My mental struggles started when I was 12. It started with a feeling of worthlessness that spiraled into a full-blown self-hatred. I have cried myself to sleep, fought with an uncontrollable negative voice, and spiraled into the sadness more times than I can count. I would fantasize about a happy life to provide me with peace, but I had no courage to try and achieve such. It certainly didn't help matters that my parents didn't understand me, or ever try to do so. Growing up, I was ashamed of myself for liking girls while being a girl. It was a secret shame I promised to take with me to the grave. However, as I got older, my feelings only grew. Videos online showed me that it was okay to feel how I felt, and eventually, I accepted this about myself. Once I did, I felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from me. One year, when I was in pre-k, I didn't want to nap. It was the first time that it had happened, and so I just lay on my mat. However, my teacher was displeased for some reason. She woke up the rest of the kids, gave them all glow-in-the-dark bracelets, except for me, and prevented my friend from showing me his. She said that I don't get one because I didn't nap. I was confused. She had never done this as a punishment for any other student. There have been several situations like this, but I never thought of it as racist until I got older. I love being mixed, but it's also hard. I'm not white enough to escape racism, but I'm also not black enough to truly count as a black person to some people. I'm in a forever state of the in-between. An outcast since day one. Roughly 7 months ago, I lost my nana. It was the week before I was planning to go to her house for spring break. I remember how weak and sick my body felt that day. I remember the tears I shed and the ache in my heart. Thinking back to life with her feels like it was all remnants of a dream, but it also feels as though my life now is the dream. Things just feel wrong without her. Losing her enforced the idea that time with your loved ones is limited. Which is why I try and call my papaw more often, and be more considerate to the ones I hold dear. I enjoy the same things I always have. Friendships, music, TV, books, and writing. I plan to engage in more as I get older. Additionally, I am interested in becoming a public relations manager. They make good money, and it seems like something I would be passionate about. In order to do this job, I need a bachelor's degree. Depending on where I go to school, my major will be business administration. Which I believe to be beneficial due to the number of jobs in that field that I could enjoy. I may not have struggled as much as other people have, but I have struggled. That struggle has led me to find out what I want in life. Which is to have many new experiences, fond memories, succeed financially, and grow as a person.

Within the last 8 months, I lost my grandma. Hearing the news of her death changed me in a way I can't explain. Knowing that I will never be able to see her again saddens me to this very day, and I don't know if there will ever be a day that it won't. It was the week before spring break. I planned to spend a few days over at my grandparents. Like I usually do during big breaks from school. One day the thought of calling her, to tell her about my plans, had crossed my mind. I decided against it, however. I knew that she was always happy to have me over, so I thought to leave it a delightful surprise. It was that same day that my parents came home, my father gathered me and my brother, and I knew almost immediately what he was going to say. My nana has had incidents many times, but she was always okay. So, I knew that if they were that serious and emotional about something that had happened, my nana didn't make it out alright. I teared up when I heard the news, but I didn't cry. I didn't want to cry; just yet anyway. My aunt and uncle came over that day to see how we were doing. I was focused more on the comfort of my families' feelings than my own. I played it off so no one would worry. I even folded my laundry. However, the feeling of my limbs was something I could not ignore as I moved around my room. My legs felt like jelly, my arms felt shaky, and my hands felt weak. I felt as though my whole world had momentarily stopped and started again, but with at a different rotation. I cried with great sadness that night, and I have cried several nights since. I occasionally think about it all. When I do it feels as though all of my memories with my nana were the remnants of a dream. However, at the same time, it feels as though that was what was real, and my life now is the dream. Some part of it all, a part I can't quite dissect, feels like it's not real. Back then I was planning to live with her after graduation. I thought it would have been a nice way to start my adulthood. More than that, I wanted her to be able to be at my graduation or at least be there on the day it was official. It's an odd feeling when your hopes and plans fall through so abruptly. Even more so when those plans and hopes involve a person who is dear to you. I still went to my grandparents' house during spring break. I didn't want my papaw to be alone. I kept him company and made sure he was okay. Okay as anyone could be after losing the person they loved, anyhow. Ever since this has happened I try and call my papaw more. I don't want to miss out on an opportunity to talk to him like I did with my nana. My nana's passing away only reinformed the ideal that moments with your loved ones are limited. Let your love for them be shown, even if your upset. Luckily, I did get another chance to tell my nana I loved her. It was a dream, but was still meaningful. Losing my nana changed my life. It was an extremely painful experience. However, it made me more thoughtful of my actions and behavior towards my loved ones.

Once I start doing well in my first career, I will spend time and money to raise mental health awareness and resources, mainly through charities. In my second career, my job will be mental health-centered. I will base my prices on the person's income. That way, they will be more likely to afford my services. Additionally, I will also post resources and ways to improve your mental health at home, for free. That way, people who aren't my clients and people who can't afford to spend any extra money will also be able to receive help. Hopefully, through this, I will have made things better for people who struggle with mental health issues.

Being a first-generation soon-to-be college student has been very impactful. It has provided me with the drive and determination to achieve my goals. Not only that, but I think it has inspired my family as well. They want me to reach higher than they did, and they are putting in the effort to help me make that happen. My father grew up poor. He didn't have a very good support system either. He did attempt to go to college, but due to a lack of money, he wasn't able to graduate. When my father had me and my brother, he worked long hours out in the heat to help provide for our family so that we could have more than he did. He offers me words of encouragement in hard times and will be helping me afford to go to college. My mother's family was a little more financially fortunate, but they were still far from rich. Like my father, she didn't have a very good support system either. She never attended college, but she worked hard at her job to help provide for our family all the same. My mother cooks, works, and takes care of the day-to-day things. When I find myself stressed, I go to her, and she comforts me. Both of my parents have always been hard workers. They are notorious at their jobs for that specific quality. I admire how hard they worked for me, and how hard they are willing to work in the future so I can be able to be able to attend college. I want to be able to get a job I'm passionate about and will also provide a comfortable financial situation. I want to be able to take care of my family someday, and to spoil them. They have shown me what a good work ethic looks like, and I intend on having that same quality in the future. Being a first-generation soon-to-be college student provided my family with the motivation needed to start my journey in achieving this goal. I am forever thankful for all my parents have done, and I intend to make them proud. I want the best for myself and for my family, and that is all thanks to them for giving me the courage to do so.

I've struggled with poor mental health since I was 12, during COVID. Being stuck at home with no friends took a toll on me. At first, I felt worthless, then I fixated on my weight and appearance, which spiraled into a crisis of identity. I don't recall much from that time, but I remember feeling like my life had no meaning. When I opened up about my feelings, others often dismissed me as being dramatic. This deepened my hatred for my body, leading to countless nights of crying, consumed by self-loathing. Eventually, I resolved to get better. However, by then, an uncontrollable voice in my head insulted me every time I looked in the mirror, complicating my efforts to adopt a positive outlook. Thankfully, that voice gradually quieted down, and I learned to manage it. As the years pass, I still feel shackled by self-hatred. That voice hasn't completely disappeared; I envision it as an inner self, locked behind a door in my mind, emerging in moments of anger or sadness. When it's free, it floods my thoughts with darkness, pulling me into a spiral. Although I often want to curl up and disappear, I refrain from acting on those feelings, knowing my calmer self would regret it. Alongside self-hatred, my heightened sensitivity complicates my life. My feelings are easily hurt, and I often experience a warm ache in my chest. Ironically, this warmth has become oddly comforting over time. I find a twisted pleasure in embracing thoughts that harm me, making me unsure of who I'd be without the pain. I’ve suppressed my tears so often that I struggle to cry fully now, but I still manage to tear up—whether from sadness or anger. Despite my fragility, my sensitivity has fostered empathy, allowing me to connect with others on a deeper level and become kinder. This struggle with self-hatred and sensitivity creates abnormal stress during social interactions. When someone greets me, I respond, but inside, my heart races and I feel close to perspiration. I’ve realized my fear isn't about appearing weird or being judged; it's about others seeing me as I see myself. I often judge myself through their eyes, leading to self-sabotage and missed opportunities to enjoy my youth. At 16, I started to embrace the idea that strangers might not care as much about me as I thought. This thought surprisingly comforted me. I reassured myself that while people might judge for a moment, they quickly move on. Most are just focused on their own lives. I admire Adam Sandler for dressing how he wants without worrying about judgment, and I aspire to be like him someday. Overall, my struggles have been primarily emotional and mental, which can be debilitating. Yet whenever the critical voice retreats, I find myself once more in the arms of hope, believing in a better future. Now more than ever the possibility of a happy life becomes more realistic. Growing up I thought I'd only become more miserable as I grew older as my responsibilities increased. However, as of late, I've been working towards going to college. Taking the steps to make that dream come true has given me strength, and it makes my other dreams seem more likely to happen. Once I am in college, I want to make in person friends, date someone, make good memories, and graduate. Then I plan to travel and have some new adventures, before settling down. I will have advanced in my career in some manner, get a house or apartment, eventually meet someone and marry, get further along in my career or explore other careers, get a better house, and adopt children. I will get help one day for my mental state, but for now I will occupy myself with actual attempts for my own betterment. I was in mud not cement; I can get unstuck and progress. I just have to want it and work for it, and from now on I will.

I am passionate about pursuing a career in nursing because I want to help people. So many people struggle because they don't trust the healthcare industry, and I don't blame them. However, I intend to change the narrative. I want to be in the nursing industry because I want to change people's minds. I want to save lives in small but meaningful ways. The two nursing jobs I'm interested in genuinely seem like something I'd enjoy doing. I've enjoyed helping people for a long time, and as I've aged, I've only grown more understanding of other people's struggles. Whether it's helping make someone's life easier by cooking or cleaning for them, or giving them advice to help them. I enjoy being able to do it. The older I get, the more sensitive I am, and with that comes empathy. I'm able to understand struggles I've never had to experience. I use that advantage when I think about other people's perspectives and how I should move forward in a situation. I think too many people care too little about their fellow humans, and it makes me sad. This world won't get any better if people don't start caring about one another and considering the effects of their actions. I hear stories about a therapist not caring about their patients. I see comments from people talking about how they ignore and run away from retail workers. I see video footage of nurses being rude or unprofessional to birthing mothers. I watch documentaries of a human mindlessly hurting someone else for no good reason. There is so much evil and hate in the world, and I just want to bring in a little more light and love. I hope to be a haven for my patients. I aspire to be someone they enjoy being around and who they are able to depend upon in their moments of need. I want them to feel like they can trust me, and I want to be able to prove that I deserve their trust. I want to prove that not all healthcare workers are like the bad ones. I want to encourage people to get help when they need it and not be afraid to do so. Growing up, I enjoyed acting like a nurse with my nana. I always did my best to look out for her well-being as well as the well-being of everyone else I care about. It can get tiring, but I'd never dream of any other way of life because being able to help people be healthier and happier makes my life feel fuller. I will be a good nurse, and I will bring more love into the healthcare field. I will make my patients feel cared for, because that's what a good nurse does.

I want to be the type of person who makes people feel comfortable and heard. In the future, I aspire to have an assortment of careers, two of which will be in the nursing field. I hear too many stories of people who are supposed to take care of you, treating you like you aren't a person. The overall lack of kindness so many people have for one another makes me sad. I want to get into the nursing industry to help people, genuinely. I want my patients to feel cared for because that's what they deserve. I want to be a source of comfort and kindness to my patients and offer them the same gentleness and affection they may feel from a hug from a loved one. I'm not going to lie, the money is a factor in why I want to be the type of nurse I want to be, an Acute Care Nurse and Advanced Practice Psychiatric Nurse. Simply because I want to be able to afford a comfortable life. I want to take care of my family as well as have my own, which will include the children I plan to adopt someday. In any case, I would never pursue a career I'm not interested in. I chose those two careers because they both seem like something I'd genuinely enjoy/wouldn't mind doing. I want to take care of people, and I want to help people with their mental health. I know how much it sucks to struggle with bad mental health, so I'd never want anyone to feel as bad as I have. I want to do everything I can to help them build a life that makes them happy. Whether it's finding a new suitable mindset or offering guidance or medicine that will help them achieve their goals. I want everyone to have the happy life they deserve, but I know that's not possible. However, I can help as many people as I can get their own happy ending/beginning. To me, human touch means a gentle touch from a human. Whether it's a gentle handshake, acknowledging you in a professional manner, or a friendly hug that shows affection. Human touch comes in many forms, some of which can be negative. However, when I read the phrase "Human touch", I imagine a hand, comfortingly resting on another's to provide support during a stressful time. I imagine a parent's warm embrace after a long day. There are so many ways to show love, in all its forms, to a person through physical touch. Human touch holds so much power. With it, you can make or ruin someone's day and, either way, create an unforgettable experience. When people go prolonged periods of time without human touch, it can change their mood, perception of things, and even their personality. We as humans need love; we need comforting forms of human touch. Think of a newborn baby; skin-to-skin contact is a known recommendation for them. It can not only calm them and assist with bonding, but it also has health benefits. We were all babies at some point; we all began our lives needing human touch. We may not obtain health benefits from it as we age, but there are still plenty of emotional and mental benefits to it. Human touch will always be a necessity for a functional and happy life. It's important to realize its worth, not just to you but to others as well.

I've always been a little insecure, but it only blossomed as I got older. Right around the time covid was changing everyone's lives. Mine was changed for the worst. I went from feeling like I didn't matter to hating myself. I still hate myself, but I'm trying to be stronger than the hate. When I was 12 years old, I started to feel worthless. Like my life didn’t matter. That was only the beginning, because that eventually turned into me crying every night. All I remember thinking is about how much I hated how I looked. After some time though, I didn’t cry as much. Instead, I tried to get better. However, around this point in time, every moment I looked in the mirror a voice I couldn’t control would appear. It would insult me and fill my head with the negative thoughts I tried to stay away from. At some point I started wishing that I would die in my sleep. It took me a little while before realizing that I didn’t want to die, I just didn’t want to feel the way I did. As time went on the voice became less apparent. I find it easier to make sense of my feelings when I think of them as a second/inner me. That me is hidden behind a door inside of me. However, the door is unlocked whenever I’m sad or even angry sometimes. A little sad moment can send me spiraling and leave me wanting to curl into a ball in the corner and wilt away. I don’t though; I know those emotions are temporary and I know that calm me would regret giving into those emotions. In any case, when I do feel those emotions, for the short time I do feel them, everything feels impossible. I don’t want to do anything with myself, and the thought of giving up brings me painful comfort. Lately though, it feels as if I’m on the verge of truly wanting to give up. Outside and In. My emotions have always felt deep, but recently it’s deeper. It’s a darkness that resides in my gut and in my chest. However, I refuse to give up when I’m so close to being able to control my life and bring myself the peace and happiness I’ve been wishing for. I want to get help, but I also want to be able to experience a lot of great things that I’ve been missing out on. The fear of my life ending before it even starts plagues me. I want a good life, and I’m willing to work for it. I have a lot of dreams, but at the end of the day I just want to be truly happy. The thought of getting help does scare me though. I've been sad so long, I don't know who I'll be without it. In any case, people change. It's a part of life. I know that if I want to be happy and at peace, then I'm going to have to sacrifice the part of me that poisons my mind. So, while I may not be okay yet, I will be some day. I will work hard to make sure I remain okay, and I have a happy life. I do not want to give up or be full of regret. I'm not going to let my mental health stop me from building a life I can be proud of.