Hardships are a natural part of a human’s life. Everyone goes through them, and trust me, my life has been full of them. One of my most notable challenges occurred during my seventh-grade year in middle school. Seventh grade is hard enough on its own. You have to get used to not being babied and sheltered by your parents and teachers, but you are also at the age where you are not grown-up enough for seemingly normal “teenagerisms”. In seventh grade, you have to find a middle path between being a kid and a teenager. Another challenge that existed for me outside of middle school life was my mother being diagnosed with breast cancer. The diagnosis changed life, as I knew it. I witnessed my mother’s fast-paced physical decline. All of a sudden, I found myself wanting to rewind time and go back to being a kid in elementary school, with no worries. I had a hard decision to make, challenges to overcome! It was time for me, the oldest, to step up with chores and tasks, all while minimizing the negative thoughts that popped into my head. Thoughts, which included, if my mother would ever get better, and what would happen to me if I lost my mom.
On top of the cancer, my mother had accepted a new job in Florida. That meant my family had to relocate to Florida. My biological father wanted to ensure he would have visitation with me when we moved, so h filed paperwork causing a custody battle in court. Although I wanted to be able to see my dad, I felt caught in the middle of a nightmare. A guardian-ad-litem was appointed to “look out for my best interest.” The guardian-ad-litem would interrogate me and often skip visits. She barely knew anything about me, despite her purpose being to provide a solution to the case that was within the “best interests of the child”. The stress of the cancer, the case, and just being a pre-teen got to me, and I often felt isolated which caused me to become moody and unpredictable. It was hard trying to balance all of my emotions.
Day by day, I became more discouraged with the hardships I had to face. I began to tackle the challenges; I knew the first step was slowly replace negative thoughts with positive ones. As Ghandi once said “A man is a product of his thoughts, what he thinks he becomes.” I started looking on the bright sides of life, and cherished time spent with my friends and family. I embraced the excitement of moving to another state. After all, I was born in the Sunshine state, a true Floridian! I celebrated every time my mother went to the doctors and had a good report, rather than focusing on “what ifs?” This helped me greatly, and I believe it is the true start to how I began to overcome my challenges.
Although this is a time I would not like to revisit in my life. It has taught me very important life lessons, that I will continue to use moving forward. First off, do not let your emotions change who you are. During this time in my life, I felt very strong emotions of defeat, anger, isolation, and sadness. This caused me to become short tempered, which just hurt me in the long run. Rather than letting these emotions out of control and get the best of me, I choose to calm down and redirect my energy in a more positive manner. Listening to music, talking to friends or family, or even just settling down with a good book often gets me out of a bad mood. My challenges also allowed me to become more comfortable with change. When I first found out I was moving to Florida, I was scared to leave my friends and family. Upon moving, I can say I have kept in touch with my past friends and family from Virginia, but I made new friends. I love my life here in my home state! My mother is now a breast cancer survivor! She won the battle with cancer! My Dad and I still talk and see each other whenever possible. All in all, in my future, the lessons I have learned during this hard time has helped me become a stronger person, ready to face adversity and achieve my goals.
In conclusion, while this situation was not ideal, it taught me that like is filled with challenges. My story had a great next chapter and I became stronger, a more determined person in the process. As Martin Luther King, Jr. said, “The ultimate measure of a person is where he stands in the moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversary.”