I remember the day I first saw the video of them landing. It was the first-ever successful one, and both had so gracefully kissed the ground that my first thought was simple: “it must be CGI.” The very idea was so bewildering that I hadn’t even considered it to be real, but as time would eventually tell, it very much was. The Falcons had landed. Not one, but two. There was even a third that landed on a drone ship I hadn’t known of at the time. I just saw that one clip of those two beautiful boosters landing intact. The very idea of an economically reusable rocket was out of the realm of possibility for many when Elon Musk strutted onto the scene. Yet, here we are, regularly observing Falcon 9 and Falcon Heavy launches, with rarely a booster lost. At the time of writing, SpaceX has only had 3 unsuccessful landings from 2020 to the present out of 66 total landing attempts. Considering this technology had only garnered success just years prior, the level of progress feels absolutely, mind-bogglingly insane. And that's why it gives some semblance of hope in these dark environmental times. While reusable spacecraft have existed in the past (I am looking at you, Space Shuttle), it is the economical aspect that truly warrants appreciation. So many discoveries had to be done to make that possible, and the progress is still ongoing. The requirements for revolutionary new engines, new guidance mechanisms, new methods to block re-entry heat, and so on... it makes previous scientific discoveries look almost mediocre by comparison.

For a long time, my mother was the only friend I had. Since I was not allowed to leave our house, my mother was the only one I could talk to. My older sister beat me at the time, before disappearing from my life after her high school graduation. My younger brother only saw me as another person to pin his consequences onto. My mother told me she cared. My mother told me that what she was doing was for my benefit. Whenever she scolded me for taking time for myself instead of chores, she said it was because if I had time for myself, then I had time to work. Whenever she had to drive me to extra classes I was taking to skip a grade of math, she made it known how unfair it was to her to have to drive me to and from school for that one summer. She kept telling me how expensive I was, and so she was making sure I paid her back for every penny she spent on me since I was born. But I didn't ask to be born. I didn't ask to be her child. Why was it all my fault? Family and friendship are separate in most people's minds but not mine. I think in both cases, the same rule applies: you have to care - unconditionally - about someone. My mother gave conditions. She was never my friend. Years later, I have picked my own family. My best friends are my brothers and fathers. Not biologically, but that doesn't matter. They care about me, and I care about them. Most importantly, we don't give our love for each other conditions, because we matter too much to each other for that. If only my mother understood.

If it is too good to be true, then it probably is. I learned the hard way how that can apply to parents. Sadly, student loans are a requirement for most to complete school. It is for me as well. I already have several federal loans, but everyone knows those are a guarantee. It is the private loans that cause problems. For many, they are too young to have developed a long enough credit history to sign one on their own. As a result, co-signers become a necessity, and if you don't have any family to co-sign with you, then you end up just being flat out of luck. School becomes another impossible dream, a figment of your imagination. But I had family. I had my mother! She knew I am a fantastic student. I got straight As, even after completing each of my Associate's degrees in under a year. In my head, I had everything planned out: I had enough money to pay for my time at a community college. Once I transfer to UMass Lowell, I would take out a private loan and complete my Bachelor's in under a year and a half. My mother promised to co-sign a loan with me in the past. I had no reason to worry. That is what I kept telling myself. Then she backed out. My entire future came crashing down. My mother had called my future career aspirations simply an "expensive hobby" for which she did not want to invest into. All of a sudden, I was no longer a student. What I thought was only going to be one semester off, turned into four, then six... The experience taught me to never put all your eggs in one basket financially, even if it is your own mother.

I learn fast, unusually so. I didn't understand at first since - in high school - I used to always surround myself with overachievers and honor students, so my skills didn't become as obvious. My friends and classmates made up for their intellectual differences by studying more. I studied too, but only when I had to. And rarely was it necessary. I remember my first math class in college. It was for Calculus II. The teacher did not care if you paid attention in class or not as long as you could prove your understanding in the topic. I quickly realized that the pace of the curriculum required my attention solely for the first fifteen minutes of class. The next two hours and forty-five minutes I would spend gaming, or sometimes even homework if I could focus over the teacher's talking. I ended the year with 102% as my final grade. I learned the material so well that I aced not just questions on current material, but also extra credit questions covering topics that the professor barely glanced over. When paired with my work ethic and excellent study skills (which I have kept up, regardless of my infrequent need of them), nothing has been able to stump me intellectually in school. I'm smart, and I am proud of that. My hope is simply to continue using this gift that I have to ace the rest of my studies... then to apply it when I enter the Air Force as an officer and serve.

I remember the day I first saw the video of them landing. It was the first-ever successful one, and both had so gracefully kissed the ground that my first thought was simple: “it must be CGI.” The very idea was so bewildering that I hadn’t even considered it to be real, but as time would eventually tell me, it very much was. The Falcons had landed. Not one, but two. There was even a third one that landed on a drone ship that I hadn’t even known of at the time. I just saw that one clip of those two beautiful boosters landing intact. The very idea of an economically reusable rocket (or at least the first stage and boosters) was out of the realm of possibility for many when Elon Musk strutted on the scene. Yet, here we are, regularly observing Falcon 9 and Falcon Heavy launches, with rarely a booster lost. At the time of writing, SpaceX has only had 3 unsuccessful landings from 2020 to the present out of 66 total landing attempts. Considering this technology had only garnered success just years prior, the level of progress feels absolutely, mind-bogglingly insane. And that is why it gives me some semblance of hope in these dark environmental times. Starship has been the recent child of Elon Musk’s imagination. The interplanetary vehicle will bring us to the moon, to Mars, and maybe even beyond that one day. Even more impressive is his pledge to make this method of travel economically viable for many, so that actual colonization of Mars can be a real possibility. The sad news is that the earth is dying. The general consensus in the scientific community is that we are currently experiencing the next mass extinction. While humans, in some capacity, will always survive, the idea that we won’t be locked to just this one world is inspiring. It gives hope. Even if Starship doesn’t make our current world a better place, it does make our world bigger. When humanity and not individual humans are allowed to reach for the stars, then anything is possible. Like choosing a new world to call our home, and making it into a better place.