I was a freshman in high school when I started to notice that I didn't like what I saw in the mirror. I hated my face and despised my body. It's as though my physical being morphed into this huge ugly monster that I was scared of. I tried my best to avoid mirrors as much as I could, but I realized that that wasn't enough. It got worse when I went to the doctor for a regular visit and he told me that I was overweight for a person my height. I felt nasty all over. I would always do body checks, sucking in my stomach to look better. Pinching my tights too see that maybe with enough pressure they would shrink. I reached my limit when my grandma told me that I would be just as obese as she was if I kept on eating the way I did. She forced me on a false diet. I had to eat 500 calories daily. No more and maybe less would be better. Pretty soon I stopped eating in general. When I ate, I felt like my stomach was gonna burst open and the only way to stop it was to stop eating. Every day I felt bad. My strange diet caught up to me one day though. I was joking around with my mom one morning when I felt lightheaded. I blanked out, opening my eyes when I was already on the floor. My mother was worried and I tried to get up quickly to not worry her more. I ended up fainting again. This time I woke up in the hospital, attached to an IV and some oxygen. I was scared, but my fear shifted to shame as I realized what I was doing to myself. I cried even more when I saw my mother on her knees begging me to stop hurting myself. “You're perfect. You're beautiful. You're healthy.” she kept on repeating as she hugged me so hard. She probably thought that if she let go I would flat-line. Pretty soon a doctor came in and explained everything to me. He started to explain ED’s and how they are one of the most harmful things. Slowly but surely I understood what my situation was and I started my recovery. I started seeing a therapist, building a healthy relationship with food again, and tried my best to see the beauty of myself. Now, as a senior in high school I feel so much better. I love myself and my body. I gained an interest in mental health as a result of my own experiences and decided to want to be a therapist. I want to help people regardless of their struggles. Everyone deserves help, Everyone deserves to be heard. Mental health has a horrible stigma due to modern media villainizing it. This can discourage people from getting help because they will be seen as a liar or “crazy”. Getting rid of these negative stigmas play a huge role in convincing people to get help if they need it. Another way I can assist people who are struggling is to let them know that they aren’t alone. Many people are convinced that they have to do things alone when they don't have to. I can share my story to anyone and reassure them that I got better and that they can too. Anyone can get better, if they want to. They just need to know that they are not alone, and that the possibility of recovery is not as far as they think.

I believe that making therapy a more accessible and affordable thing would benefit people who struggle with mental health a lot. Not having the proper finances is one of the biggest reasons why people can't get the help they need. How do I know this? I have a friend who suffers from heavy dissociation to the point where it impacts their daily life. They see things that aren't there. Unfortunately, they are unable to get help because their family isn't able to afford it. They have to continue to suffer, but I hope that one day they are able to seek the assistance that they need. My dream job is to be a therapist. I don't want to become a mental health professional because of the pay, I want to help people. A goal of mine when I get my degree and get my first job is to be more accessible. I want to provide more affordable care because I genuinely believe that if people were able to afford help, they would get it. It's like wanting a new book but you can’t afford it, so you don't get the book. If the book were on sale you could get the book. Another solution I think will help people who are struggling with mental health is getting rid of the negative stigmas. Some people are scared to be seen as “crazy” or “mentally deranged” because of how the media such as movies portray those who struggle a bit. We need to let people know that it's okay to seek help, you're not crazy and you're not gonna be thrown in asylum. Everyone struggles a little, whether it's stress or feeling depressed, it's ok. You're not alone in your struggles, you're never alone.

I was only an 8th grader when my mother started losing her vision. It got even more stressful when I entered High School. I had to balance schoolwork and taking care of my mother. My father was absent and she only trusted me with ALL of her personal info. I had to help pay bills, file her paperwork, and do tasks that I never knew she had to do as an adult. I had to grow up a little early but that wasn’t the worst part, it was seeing her mental health deplete. She went from a strong single mother who worked 2 jobs, to a fragile person who needed help with almost everything. It got worse when she clung to a toxic relationship for validation. They would argue all the time about the littlest things and way too often I was brought into it because my mother wanted someone to be on her side. I would never forget the time our neighbor called the cops on us because of the noise and as a way to run away from the cops, he jumped out the window. He survived with a broken foot, but it's still a scary thing that I dwell on a lot, especially because I tried to stop him. Due to the situation, we have matching scars on our arms. It got to the point where I even started to struggle more mentally. I would have panic attacks in school, issues with self-harm, and so many intrusive thoughts about myself. I remember staying up till 3 am asking myself if things would be better if I was dead. These thoughts and actions weren’t healthy, and it took me a while to realize that. I started to get more interested in the subject of mental health as a whole to try and better myself so that I could help my mother as well as myself. I started off by seeing the school Counselor. The way she supported me and calmed me down from the many panic attacks I used to have in and out of class was truly inspiring. She would speak logic into my panicked head. “This is least likely to happen.” “You're trying your best and that's what matters.” “Think about the present, cuz that's where you are right now.” “You are loved.” “You're an amazing student.”She would even do this exercise where I had to point out 5 things I saw, 4 things I hear, 3 things I feel, 2 things I smell, and one thing I taste. That exercise would always bring me back from the mess of my own head. I even noticed that the better my mental health was the better my relationships with friends and family would be. She got me to do more research and I got even more invested than I previously was. Mental Health was a subject that I grew a passion for due to many personal struggles. Currently I am doing so much better! I no longer have attacks in school and January 20th, 2022 marks 8 months of realizing that I no longer need to harm myself, because I am where I belong. I'm seeing a therapist and I am getting stronger everyday. I still had a craving though, to learn more about mental health and how to push through various issues that one may have. I've even conversed with my therapist about his job and soon realized that I wanted to do that. I want to be a therapist, a voice of reason, and/or a person that would be there to listen when no one else will. I've been through my fair share of struggles and I want to help others cope and/or get through there's.

I come from a poor immigrant family who wasn't able to get proper education because of their race, they were too busy trying to survive, or they were too poor to afford it. My great grandma never went to school, My grandmother and Father stopped at the fifth grade, and my mom was privileged enough to finish highschool. She tried to go to college too, but life had other plans. Now, why would I refer to education as a privilege? It should be something common that everyone should have a chance in and get regardless of race, gender, and sexuality. According to my family who have struggled so much to put a single loaf of bread on the table, it is a privilege. To be able to learn without fighting for your life or being able to pick up a book without worrying if you and your kids will go hungry again, it was a privilege. A privilege that I am so grateful for. I will make sure to take full advantage of any resource I can so that I can be the first in my family to go to university, major in psychology, and get my diploma. As a low income minority I also had a lot of bumpy roads in my academic life. I went to a poor middle school because it was convenient and we couldn't afford anything else, where for 3 years straight I wasn't able to get a proper math teacher. Flash-forward to my freshman year in highschool, I was so confused in Algebra. I would have breakdown after breakdown because I felt so left out, everyone understood but I was left behind. I was so tempted to quit but I didn't want to not only let my family down, I didn't want to let myself down either. I made sure I studied extra hard so that I could catch up, and I did. With the help of my teacher and other resources like the internet, I was able to catch up. I still have a rocky relationship with Math but I've come to a conclusion that as long as I don't give up and I try my best I could achieve anything. Whether it be academically or personally, I can turn weakness into strength with effort. If I was given this opportunity, I would be so grateful. It would not only help me avoid a humongous debt that will take me if not my whole life to pay off BUt it can help make my dream a reality. I will use the money how it was meant to be used. I want to attend university, I desire it so much. I want to be able to tell the future generations "I did it and you can too." I've always dreamed of being a therapist so that I can help others, so that I can be the person that anyone needs to listen to. I want to give my family hope. Something they were deprived of for so long. I want to make my mother proud. I want my past self to look at me with wide eyes filled with wonder as she sees a woman who did it. This opportunity will solidify everything. All my dreams will start to come true little by little. I haven't given up, I never plan on it. Getting a college education means not only being the first in my family, it means so much more. It means perseverance, it can show how I chose to never give up no matter how many struggles me and/or my family faced. It means purpose, I can find a new purpose or bring life to my already existing one. It means a challenge, because I am the first generation to attend high education no one will be able to give me advice on what to do or what to expect. It might be scary but everyone needs a little challenge in their life. College is one challenge that I refuse to turn down. Lastly, but most importantly it means to achieve my dream. I want to be a therapist, I wanna help as many people as I can. I wanna leave the world a little kinder than when I entered it. Usually a typical week outside of school would be doing things that would benefit me academically. I would spend some time doing homework and scholarship research. While doing the research I will also check my emails to see if there are any updates on applications that I’ve already sent in. Once I’m done with the important stuff then I’ll move on to more personal things like hobbies. I enjoy arts and crafts and often find myself in a new project every week. Whether it's drawing, painting, sculpture, or animation. I find myself invested and wanting to finish it out of eagerness to see the end result. Sometimes my personal time does get interrupted by my mom who needs assistance with something due to her disability. She is visually impaired. She's been slowly going blind for four years now. I help her with anything and almost everything. From her online banking, to writing checks to pay bills, to reading and writing any applications that need to be filled out, and even reading text from family members. I make sure to cook us a meal and I end my day with a good book. Could be any book, as long as it's interesting. I feed my curiosity by doing as much research as I possibly can. I use all my resources to the best of my ability. If I'm curious about things academically, ten the first source I will go to is a teacher that I can relate to the subject. If they aren’t too sure that I use the school's internet and computer to conduct my own research. If it's something personal that I am curious about I will ask my parents or use my own internet access to find desired answers.