Mothers tend to do whatever is needed regardless of the hand we are dealt. I never pictured myself being a single mom. I never pictured myself being a single mom and working full-time as a Nurse Practitioner. I never pictured myself being a single mom and working as a Nurse Practitioner during a pandemic. The list could go on and on. Like many of my sisters in motherhood, I keep pushing forward. I do what needs to be done for myself and my son. 2020 kept throwing challenges my way. Already a single mom who also works full-time as a Nurse Practitioner in a busy OBGYN office, I was given the extra challenges of my son's father being detained while deployed to Iraq because the United States Army was worried about sending troops home during a pandemic. My office was turned into a COVID testing site. My son's school closed and we started homeschooling. There were many days I felt as if the snowball effect was never going to end. But, every morning, I woke up and did what needed to be done - for my son, my employer, my community. Now, I feel like I can exhale and focus on myself for one of my life goals. I have been accepted into a DNP program. I plan to finish my terminal degree and teach nursing students on a university level. I will be teaching future generations of nurses how to balance work, family, and life. I am grateful for the opportunity to apply for scholarships so I can complete my degree without having to use student loans.

"Amy, I have this pressure on my chest." My colleague and friend shared this information with me casually one morning. We have many things in common. We work for the same company. We share an office space. She an OBGYN - me, a Nurse Practitioner. We are both single moms by choice. We both had our children at a later age after our careers were established. She is in her early 50s and I am in my early 40s. She is black. I am white. I stopped what I was doing "Please don't ignore this. We both know that a womans' complaints of chest pain and pressure are often written off as anxiety". I know (and she knows) that women - especially black women have a 69% higher mortality rate than white women. Mortality for black females from hypertension is 352% higher than white females- 352 percent! I have spent my career in Women's Health. As an RN, I worked as a Labor & Delivery nurse. As a travel nurse, I have seen the disparities in healthcare based on what region I was working in at the time. I have witnessed hysterectomies on 16-year-old girls after bleeding "couldn't be controlled" after deliveries in Georgia. Now, I am a Women's Health Nurse Practitioner. I counsel my patients not to ignore their high blood pressure or take it lightly. I find myself putting extra emphasis on this with my Black patients. "Do not let them brush you off!", I say. I encourage my patients to be loud to make sure they are heard. I plan to continue my education to complete my Doctorate Degree. I would like to use my degree to teach at the university level. I want to teach future nurse and nurse practitioners to advocate for their patients. We need to bridge the gaps in healthcare. We need to protect these women - our sisters.

"You will always feel as if you are failing at one or the other". I was a new graduate when my son was born. I was working in my first job as a Women's Health Nurse Practitioner in a small private practice in Tennessee. My employer and his wife were my preceptors while I studied for my Master's Degree. They were such wonderful people, it was an easy "yes" when I was offered the position. Dr. Lisa had started the practice. Her husband joined her soon after. Together, they had 3 sons. I remember asking Dr. Lisa one day, "How do you balance motherhood and taking care of your patients?" She responded that I would always feel as though I was failing at one or the other. As women, we are asked to give 100% at home and 100% at work. Single moms have to put in another 100% as they are doing it all with no help. There are so many single moms working in corporate jobs, owning and managing their own businesses, and balancing it all with responsibilities at home. 2020 and the Coronavirus pandemic threw one more thing at us, home school. On top of managing our own careers and households, we were given the task of helping our children learn from home. Time and time again, women are asked to do more. We always rise to the occasion. For a lot of single moms, continuing our education is not an option. We become stagnant, having to put other things first - rent, food, gas, insurance. We live paycheck to paycheck just trying to get by. For those of us that do have the time and ability to return to school, tuition, books, and fees can be a barrier. It has been ten years since I received my Master's Degree and started working as a Nurse Practitioner. My son is now 7 years old. My goal is to return to school and complete my Doctorate Degree. I would like to teach nursing students at the university level. This opportunity would allow me to have the same school breaks and summer break off to spend quality time with my son. There are many days I feel as if the 200-300% I am supposed to give between work and home is unobtainable. I do often feel as though I am failing at either one or the other. I know that as a mother - as a single mother- failing my son is not an option. This scholarship will help me financially achieve my goal. I appreciate your time and consideration.

Step up or step away? This last year has challenged nurses. We have always stepped up to the plate when needed. The 2020 Coronavirus pandemic is no different. Nurses are stepping up and doing what needs to be done. We do it without the necessary PPE. We do it without the respect we deserve. We do it in spite of the sacrifice our families have made without us. We do it because it is who we are. It is our calling. I graduated with my Bachelor's Degree in 2002. I started my career in Oncology/Hematology/Bone Marrow Transplant. I started working as a travel nurse and would often work in Med/Surg, Telemetry, step-down units, and MASH units. In 2005, I stopped traveling and signed on to a hospital and trained in Labor & Delivery. After two years of experience, I started travel nursing again. I was able to visit and work in 13 different states. In 2011, I returned to school and obtained my Master's Degree, and became a Women's Health Nurse Practitioner. I have continued to travel. But, this time, following my son's father who is in the United States Army. I have worked through SARS, H1N1, Zika, and now COVID-19. This pandemic is causing an audible shift in nursing. Our voices are louder than ever. "Protect us. Help us. Save us". But, it seems as though we are still not being heard. We are not loud enough as one, united voice. By returning to school to obtain my Doctorate Degree, I will be able to teach future nurses on a University level. Not only will I be able to teach them to care for and advocate for their patients, but I will also be able to teach them how to advocate for themselves and for our profession as a whole. We need more nurses to be armed with the knowledge needed to change not only local but national policies and procedures. We need nurses to understand the politics behind the decisions so we can take up more space at the table. For too long, people outside of patient care have been making decisions - not even on our behalf- but for us, regardless. It is time for us to unite the future generation of nurses so they feel prepared to step up while the rest of us, worn down, exhausted, drained, retire and step away.

Six missed calls from my brother. He never calls me. I excused myself from my clinical preceptor. "Pardon me. I need to take this call. I will be right back." I said. I dialed. Not even a "hello". "Amy, George is dead". It was 1997 when I left my family and home to become a full-time nanny for my Aunt and Uncle in Arizona. I moved in with them and would work as a live-in nanny during my senior year of high school. George was 8 years old. His sibling's age 5 and 3. Eight is such a fun age! George and I read the Harry Potter series together. We built forts. We experimented in the kitchen with sugary treats. We fought pirates on the playground. We spent hours in the public library practicing book characters' voices. I wanted my time with the kids to be magical. Ten years later, George volunteered to go on a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. He would leave his family for 2 years and serve with a companion sharing the gospel with the world. One morning, his companion tried to wake him for their morning routine. George never woke up. It was a genetic heart defect. Doctors had missed it during his childhood. I was in the second semester of my DNP program with Vanderbilt University when I received the call. I was devastated. I left Tennessee to be by my Aunt's side as she buried her eldest child. I couldn't recover from the loss. I could not cope with the darkness and depression that overcame me. I started having visions of myself jumping off the nursing building. When I shared this with a friend and said the words out loud, I knew it was time to get help. I sought guidance from my nursing school instructors and mentors. Together, we decided it was best to drop my classes and exit the program. I only had 2 semesters left to earn my doctorate. I began to see a counselor. About 6 months later, I found out I was pregnant. The postpartum depression hit me with a vengeance. I was frustrated knowing that I should be enjoying my newborn. I continued with counseling. Eventually, through medical, emotional, and spiritual help, the suicidal thoughts went away. George had sent me a gift from heaven, my own little boy to save my life! My son is now 7 years old. He tells me sometimes he sees angels. He sees white light in the room as we are laying in bed ready for sleep. Often, he laughs in his sleep. I like to imagine it's George visiting him in his dreams. Maybe they are fighting pirates on the playground together. Maybe George is reading to him in his silly character voice. Though George lived to the age of 20, I still picture him as the vibrant 8-year-old I helped raise. Our experiences shape who we are. I have worked in Women's Health for 15 years. I have been working as a Nurse Practitioner since 2012. Through my own experiences with loss, anxiety, and depression, I can recognize these things in women and offer them help and guidance. It is time for me to return to school and finish my DNP. I want to fight for women who are struggling with depression and anxiety. I want to fight the stigma that surrounds mental health. I want to fight for more awareness. I want to fight for more resources. I want to fight for more funding. No one should have to battle with loss, anxiety, and depression alone. My guardian angel, George, is telling me it's time to get back on track and finish my education. My DNP will allow me to teach on a University level. I will be able to share my experience with future nurses. I will help them recognize the early signs and symptoms of grief, anxiety, and depression. I will be able to arm the future generation of nurses with the tools they need to advocate for their patients on both a personal and national level. Together, we can help turn the stigma that surrounds mental health into an everyday health check-up. After the Coronavirus pandemic and all the depression and anxiety in the world, why shouldn't visits to a counselor or therapist be viewed as normal as an annual exam or teeth cleaning? It's time to let the stigma go. It's time to fight for change.