No One is Alone “Mother isn’t here now” Staring into the eyes of another actress who is smiling at me kindly, and who I’m letting take care of me. “Who knows what she’d say.” I sing my line, staying in character even as a tear rolls down my cheek, because I know my mom’s out in the audience feeling so proud of my performance, but I can’t shake my relation to feeling alone, except this time my giant is bipolar disorder, and not so easily swayed. Neuroscience and music have been my passions since I was a child. I’ve been singing since before I could walk, starred in my first musical in 1st grade, and spend any free time I have around school in the theater performing to my imagination, or singing any chance I get whether it's for our school masses or even just the National Anthem at our league football games. Singing has helped me to personally grow because my love for it pushed me to perform in front of my entire school in a bonnet simply so I could be a lead in the musical, and it’s my outlet, the one way I feel safe expressing emotion and giving concrete words. My director gives me onbiconstructive criticism and guidance as well, helping me to grow and being a fatherly figure who I can approach any time of day. Both singing and Neuroscience/Medicine fulfill my need to take action, and be the center and backbone of organizations I’m in. For about 7 months now, I’ve been working at the Sutter Health hospital as an ER volunteer. I’ve personally grown from my work at the hospital because it’s taught me to be resilient even when doing tasks which are tougher and less appealing, and I love that the ER is a constantly moving and hands-on environment because I feel involved in the healing occuring. My time shadowing Neurosurgeon Dr. Geoff Manley at the UCSF General Hospital also served as a motivator to me to always above and beyond in my work and relationships as he told me about putting my all into every aspect of my life, and it’s helped me in so many ways such as putting in the work to improve my grades every semester and running the most mileage on my cross country team over the summer, reminding me that being a surgeon involves my passion for performance because one makes decisions and choices that can deeply impact others. Aside from these benefits however, my interest in neurosurgery stems from my childhood. “People make mistakes. Fathers, mothers…” Growing up, I experienced the profound impact of mental health on family dynamics. For the first 10 years of my life, my mom was absent due to severe bipolar disorder, and could not interact with my family healthily. I couldn’t speak to her without feeling as though she would react badly and it’s what turned me to singing as a way to exaggerate emotion that I had suppressed for so long. I wasn’t even able to spend time with my mom until I was in 7th grade. Being an older sister meant shouldering much of the responsibility for my family at the time, as I took care of my two younger siblings and taught them manners and skills for school, but it also equipped me with the leadership, resilience, and self-discipline needed for a medical career, and making myself a spot in the arts. It also gave me two close friends who look up to me and always want to hear about my day and the problems I have now because they want to take care of me. Even today, my mom carries deep remorse for what she has done, but I know that mental disorders take away control from a person. I’ve come to embrace having such diverse aspects of my identity recently because I know that my love for the stage will help me to not hesitate before advocating for my beliefs in front of others, my younger siblings have taught me the patience and selflessness necessary for leadership and change and experiencing a broken family has motivated me to become a neuroscientist and neurosurgeon. I’m committed to combating the inheritance of mental illness genes, or even using technology in order to repress the genes currently creating disorders in people, a much more long term and permanent treatment than the antidepressants that my mom takes today. Although I may have only looked up to myself as a child and believed that I needed to work to become worthy of my own love, being able to find synergy in my interests, recognizing the love and dedication I have for my family, and having confidence in pursuing my dreams imprinted on me both from outside and within, has taught me that “No one is alone.”

One of my parents was barely present in the first 10 years of my life because they were struggling immensely with bipolar disorder and couldn’t interact with me in a healthy way. Even these days, they still feel sorry for what they had done when I was a child and feel as though it reflects on who they are, but I know that mental disorders take control away from a person, and I want to combat this helplessness by researching what causes these conditions and how to stop their spread throughout generations. I want to create new procedures and treatments for mental disorders. I want to fully serve the human race with Harvard’s resources by creating treatments which alleviate patients from their disorders, lifting self esteem and the connections that one can make. I’m interested in becoming both a neuroscientist and neurosurgeon so that I can combat the inheritance of mental illness genes, as well as use technology in order to repress the genes currently creating mental illness in people. I think that gene therapy as well as further research on the prefrontal cortex can help me to develop a procedure, helping patients regain control of their brains, and my goal is to eventually find a medication-free cure for mental illnesses, starting with bipolar and manic depression. I believe that combating mental illness with science will also help so many children to grow up in a healthy and happier way. I read a book called “Tattoos on the Heart” by Greg Boyle, a text about those who joined gangs at a young age, and how they were rehabilitated back into society. A quote from the book which resonated with me was, “People call you ‘the black sheep’ long enough, you tend to believe them”. I know firsthand that growing up with a parent who struggles with the choices you make depletes a child’s self-image and makes them feel as though their life paths are limited, but completely curing mental illness will eliminate these barriers between children and any of their family members, providing a brighter future for our world, as more people would pursue their dreams and believe in their ability to create change. We have the power to help more people be able to freely express themselves without a constant fear of hurting others. I want to change the world by using Science to more effectively combat mental illness and bring more joy into the lives of affected families.