Yachts so large that you have to dismantle a historic bridge to get it out of dry dock, fifteen different homes on 6 different continents, and being able to buy your way into the biggest parties with all the A-list celebrities in attendance is a dream life that you will often hear about. This is the exact opposite of my dream life. The world moves so fast these days and some people, including myself, crave a slower and arguably more natural pace of life. I want a house with a large garden full of flowers and food of various forms. Perhaps a greenhouse as well so I can garden throughout the year.. A kitchen to cook for my family and a table to host dinner with friends. A sewing room with designs scattered along the walls and a cat curled in a sunny spot next to me. My desire for a simple life doesn’t mean I don't appreciate the marvelous innovations of the modern age. I have no desire to lack electricity or indoor plumbing. I would also die without Star Trek, a historical drama, or a youtube video going on in the background. However, I do think there is a better balance that can be achieved with technology and modern life. Pre-covid I barely had a quiet moment between speech and debate, dance, cyrillic language club, book club, work, volunteering, and of course school and homework. Although I enjoyed all of my activities it was a bit too much. It led me to crave a slower pace of life that would allow me to avoid burnout. Unfortunately, studying to be a chemical engineer along with college activities keep me from the slower life I want but through hard work I hope to be able to live my dream life.

If I was given $1,000 right this instant it would be difficult not to spend it on something fun. I wouldn't even make $1,000 dollars if I worked 2 forty hour weeks! It would be difficult not to go on a fun and exciting date with my boyfriend or on a fun day out with my friends. I would want to spend it on more fabric to sew and create with. There would be so many ways I would want to spend that money. However, none of those ways are the smart way to spend it. Like many other college students I am tens of thousands of dollars in debt. I will be in even more by the end of my education. I didn't even go to a particularly expensive school but like most of my peers I will start my adult life with a ludicrous amount of debt even with the scholarships that I get because of my excellent grades. The smartest way to use my money and how I would likely chose to spend my money would be to pay off part of one of my loans that I already have. This would make a small difference in the final amount that I would have to pay off. So, like most students my age I would have to make the difficult choice of putting off fun in order to be in less debt by the end of my education.

Skydiving, attending the olympics, or riding in a hot air balloon are all very common bucket list items. My bucket list may not seem as exciting to everyone else and arguably contains relatively mundane goals centering mainly around crafting and other random tasks. One that I have already completed is sewing my own wardrobe. During the pandemic I learned how to sew and I found I really enjoy it. It allows me to create exactly what I want to wear in the colors that suit me the best. One thing I learned from that experience is , and trust me on this, you don't realize how ill-fitting your clothes are until you wear clothes that actually fit! In a similar vein one goal on my bucket list is to make my own shoes. If mass produced clothing is ill-fitting I can only imagine how poorly my shoes actually fit. This would also allow me to create shoes that perfectly match my outfits. One day I would also like to grow a garden for myself. I have a number of plants in my room and as time has gone on ive gotten better and better at not killing them. However, I have never gotten to eat things from the plants I've grown. Growing your own food also gives you the chance to eat fresh fruits and vegetables that it is hard to get in your local area. Someday I would also like to make my own pasta and not just use pasta that comes premade in a box. There are a number of other goals on my bucket list that may not interest other people like ballroom dancing, getting a herd of sheep, or learning to weave. But, it doesnt matter what others think of my bucket list because its mine.

My favorite piece of art is the Slave Ship by J. M. W. Turner. This is an absolutely gorgeous and horrifying work of art. When you look at it you start off noticing the gorgeous blend of colors that create an ocean sunset scene. This is beyond breathtaking when you see it. However as you look closer you begin to see something very wrong. The waves are not as calm as you would expect to see with the glorious backdrop of a sunset. In the background a sailing ship is seen battling the fierce waves. Then if you look even closer at the choppy waves you may notice that they are not just violent waves. Desperate limbs frenzy trying to grasp at anything that could save their lives. This is no freak sailing accident. This act was done in unadulterated greed. The hands and feet of the drowning individuals are still chained together. This painting shows the final moments of a group of slaves after being tossed overboard by a captain looking to collect insurance money. This is my favorite painting because on the surface anyone can appreciate the beauty of this paint. However, only those that look close will see the true meaning behind it and the horrific event that is actually occurring. In 1840, it wasn’t an agreed upon fact that slavery is horrible and inhumane. To me it truly places you into the emotions of the event and brings attention to the poor treatment of slaves. It would cause people now and at the time to feel sympathy for the people who were still being forced into slavery at that time. It contrasts the beauty of the painting and the horrors of being a slave.

James Clerk Maxwell is a mid-nineteenth century Scottish theoretical physicist and he made one of my favorite scientific discoveries. It may not be one we think about today as truly groundbreaking. Maxwell didn’t figure out how to split the atom, or organize the periodic table, or invent sliced bread. Maxwell spent a lot of time focusing on the relationship between electricity and magnetism. My favorite discovery is James Clerk Maxwell’s color theory. At some point in your academic career a teacher likely put a rainbow up on the board and asked you questions about these various colors. They would have likely asked you to point out which colors are primary colors and you would have said Red, Yellow, and Blue. For a painter this is completely true. However, for the human eye the primary colors are not red, yellow, and blue but instead red, green, and blue. What makes this my favorite is not just how surprising it is that the way our eyes see the colors that we mix paint with and the way we mix those colors are fundamentally different, but how beautifully simple in the way it was proven. Light that we see on a day to day basis contains all colors and is called “white light." All you need to prove Maxwell’s color theory is a wheel, some colored paper, and a way to spin it fast. If you combine equally sized red, yellow, and blue wedges on the wheel and spin it the color created as it blends will be brown which is not the natural color of light. Maxwell found that equally sized red, green and blue wedges will turn white. This proves simply and beautifully that the primary colors of human vision are red, green, and blue and is my favorite scientific discovery.

There are plenty of people I have admired and have been inspired by like Winston Churchill, Lucretia Mott, and Wu Zetien. Empress Theodora of the Byzantine Empire is someone I have recently come to admire. She led an unconventional life before becoming Justinian’s wife. Which is a feat in itself considering the conservative nature of Constantinople at the time. She was also thought to be the brains behind Justinian's reign even though she was never corregent with him. She played important roles in politics including receiving royal envoys and her name surprisingly appears on a considerable number of laws passed at the time. Theodora helped put down the riots and had the courage to stay in the palace as the riots were occuring. She felt that it was better to die than to run away. She was also known for recognizing and protecting the rights of women. She managed to pass laws against trafficking women and young girls as well as changing divorce laws to benefit women more. She also managed to slowly work against religious discrimination in the Byzantine Empire. In everything Empress Theodora showed courage. This is what I truly admire about her. She had the courage to stand up for what she believed in even if they were completely radical views at the time. Even after her death her husband Justinian worked to ease religious tensions between rival christian factions. I will likely never have the influence she did during her life. However, I hope that I can be an inspiration to the people around me. I try to embody her courage and think about what she would do if she was in my place. I have admired Empress Theodora for her courage and her willingness to stand up for what she believed was right.

If you are anything like me you spent your entire life following the rules while still making your own path and trying your hardest in everything you do. Then, you already have something in common with Corporal Amaranthe Lokdon. She is one of the few women on Turgonia's Police force and she is good at her job, very good. Lokdon then stumbles onto a plot to dispose of the emperor. To save the emperor she teams up with a notorious and stony assassin Sicarius as well as a ragtag group including a fledgling magician, a professor, and a wealthy fop. My favorite book isn't very well known. The first of a series of novels "The Emperor's Edge" by Lindsay Buroker is a fantastic and fun story that takes place in a fantasy world filled with magic and intrigue. This is my favorite book for a number of reasons. Firstly, I see a lot of myself in Amaranthe and she is one of my role models. She is quick witted and always manages to outsmart the enemy. However, her resilience is what has always inspired me. She never gave up fighting even when everything seemed lost to everyone else. She also had the courage to stand out in a male dominated field. I may not be fighting evil organizations or for my own exoneration, however, everyday I do walk into a classroom every day where I am very different from everyone else. Beyond the fact that I really see myself in Amaranthe the book overall is fun and light while also still being able to have some real depth and tension in it. The book isn't monotone like some fantasy novels can be. Reading it over and over again has brought a smile to my face even during hard times.

I am having a positive impact on the climate by becoming a chemical engineer. I know that sounds like an oxymoron, but chemical engineers do a lot more that create things that polute the enviroment. I became a chemical engineer because I decided I was interested in green technologies and renewable energy sources. In my career I hope to work to create more sustainable energy sources. One of the sources of renewable energy that I am interested in is solar power. I am encouraged by how passive the energy creation of solar energy can be. It does not require as much maintenance as other renewable energy sources such as wind energy. New innovations such as solar paint and solar windows are new and exciting developments for a chemical engineer like myself. My favorite green technology is actually made from milk! I’ve read about a company called Qmilk who is making a chemical-free milk fiber process. These fibers can then be used to create fabrics that can then be made into a variety of other products. This is close to my heart because I love to sew. But the fashion industry is one of the most polluting industries in the world. Even though milk textiles only have limited usage now they are a small step in replacing polyesters and other synthetic fibers. This will help create less garbage in landfills and create a better world overall. As a chemical engineer I will be able to influence the way energy and green technology is produced and consumed and make them availible to underserved and affluent communities alike. I chose to become a chemical engineer because I want future generations to have a better and greener future.

“No.” “Yessss,” My mom said in a sing-songy voice as she briskly walked away, “If you talk to more native speakers you will be less afraid!” She walked up to a member of the Peruvian crew on deck. This man, if the sheer amount of brass on him was any indication, was a very important member of the crew. Someone we obviously shouldn’t have been bothering. In fact, maybe we shouldn’t have been bothering anyone at all! They work on a ship and obviously had important things to do. However, my mother had already started talking to him. “Would you mind if my daughter practices her Spanish on you?” She asks brightly. The officer shot an amused look at the crewman next to him. “Sure.” The resulting conversation was probably one of the most horrific and short conversations of my entire life. It was only a few lines long, 45 seconds, tops. It wasn’t hot out so I couldn’t even blame my flushed-with-embarrassment cheeks on the weather. I honestly love languages. I love how they sound. I love weird idioms and common phrases. I love the victory after finally getting a sound (that doesn’t remotely exist in English) down. But I hate doing the main thing languages are used for: Speaking. It is awkward and I embarrass myself by mispronouncing or misusing words. I have always found ways to deal with my fears; a nightlight for my fear of the dark, a long fly swatter so I don't have to get near bugs when I kill them. Being afraid of speaking has no such crutch. Last summer my perspective changed when I was introduced to two international coworkers. Melissa, who was from Turkey and spoke Turkish, and Dan, from Russia who spoke Russian. I had no previous experience with Turkish but I am partially fluent in Russian having led the Russian Club. At the beginning, I will admit I was selfish. I didn’t tell Dan I spoke Russian because I was terrified of a repeat of what happened on the Peruvian Ship. I instead focused on the language I had absolutely no experience with: Turkish because It didn’t matter if I messed up because I don't speak it. “Say-lam?” “Se-lam.” “Selam…?” “Very good!” Melissa praised while still giggling at my inability to pronounce this simple Turkish word for hello. We were just finishing up re-stocking the cases and shelves of produce. It was slow and no one is even in our department so I ask her to teach me some more. She spoke in very accented and broken English. However, no one ever made fun of her for it. They were patient and understanding. Just as she was understanding when I messed up words in Turkish. I realized I was wrong for hiding my ability to speak some Russian from Dan. He was far from home in an unfamiliar place, he was taking a big risk and I refused to even speak Russian with him. One morning I steeled myself to talk to him. As I began to speak to him in Russian, his lips curled into a small grin as he started to talk about his day so far. Even though I only understood parts of what he was saying and I kept making mistakes, he kept talking to me excitedly throughout the day. The terrifying threat of embarrassment still looms over me when speaking to Dan and other native speakers. However, I realized that those ridiculous cliches like “with great risk comes great reward” exist because they are true and my improved language skills are proof of that.

If you had asked me in middle school what I wanted to do when I grew up I probably wouldn’t have answered that I wanted to be an engineer. Jobs like archeologist, teacher, or dancer would likely have been my response. As I got older I became far more interested in math and science as well as realizing that I didn’t want to be working in the dust far away from a decent wifi signal, I didn’t particularly like children, and that I wasn’t cut out to be a professional dancer. Then, one of my science classes in high school then did a unit on renewable and alternative energy sources. I had learned about them before but now I was hooked. Spent my free time watching videos on renewable energy and green technology which just got me more interested. Ultimately, my interest in sustainability energy, especially newer and more sustainable energy sources and green technologies is what led me to studying to be a chemical engineer. In my career I hope to work to create more sustainable energy sources. One of the sources of renewable energy that I am interested in is solar power. I am encouraged by how passive the energy creation of solar energy can be. It does not require as much maintenance as other renewable energy sources such as wind energy. New innovations such as solar paint and solar windows are new and exciting developments for a chemical engineer like myself. I also want to work to make greener technologies more viable so they can start having a positive impact on the planet. My favorite innovative green technology is actually made from milk! I’ve read about a company called Qmilk who is making a chemical-free milk fiber process. These fibers can then be used to create yarn and cloth that can then be made into a variety of other products. This is close to my heart because I love to sew and create new garments for myself. But the fashion industry is one of the most polluting industries in the world. Even though milk textiles only have limited usage now they are a small step in replacing polyesters and other synthetic fibers. This will help create less garbage in landfills and create a better world overall. As a chemical engineer I will be able to influence the way energy is produced and consumed by finding new applications for renewable technologies as well as many new technologies. The more efficient and cost effective engineers can make an energy source the more people around the world can use alternative energy sources. I would like to make the world a more sustainable and efficient place by shaping the energy sources we will use in the future and making this technology available to underserved and affluent communities alike. I chose to become a chemical engineer because I want to make sure that future generations have a better and greener future. This scholarship will help me pay for my tuition at the University of New Hampshire. Which will help me alleviate financial stress associated with getting my degree. This stress distracts me from focusing on my degree and allows me to pursue my goals. It will also allow me to take academic opportunities that I wouldn't be able to otherwise because I would be working more hours at my part time job trying to balance both my academics and working. This can severely limit my opportunities to explore what is offered on campus and what I can do to grow as an engineer.

It started off with a TV show. Specifically, Downton Abbey which follows a noble family in the early 20th century. I remember the scene even now years after I first watched it. Lady Cora is sitting in the drawing room with a sewing box on the table next to her and a beautiful embroidery hoop on her lap. With that one scene I knew what I wanted to do or at least what I thought I wanted to do. This was back in 2019 before the idea of aesthetics as a way to describe who you wanted to be. There was no "dark academia" or "cottagecore" or "Royaltycore." So, although I thought what I wanted to do was embroider I was actually trying to embody the feminine and graceful aesthetics that Lady Cora exemplified. Then in the before time (AKA January of 2020) I got my first sewing machine for my 18th Birthday. This unlocked a whole new way to express myself to the world just before the world came crashing down around me. Suddenly that was ripped from me and there was no one to even express myself to. I spent the next few months balancing schoolwork, mask-making, confusion, and grief at losing my last few months of highschool. Even though I was lucky enough to have a graduation it was just as somber and isolating as the days before it. There were no joyous shouts, no laughter, and smiles were few and far between and covered by masks. My class divided into groups of twelve slowly marched up onto the stage in our black mourning clothes masquerading as a cap and gown and accepted our diplomas along the sad last few moments of being a highschooler. The one thing I enjoyed and looked forward to was sewing. I started to make clothes for a day when I would go out and be seen again. I took solace in the past. Most of my creations were inspired by historical outfits like a pretty 1960s dress, or a 1940s skirt and blouse, or even an Edwardian wrap cape. There was one notable exception: With each outfit I made a mask was made to match. I would come to take joy in creating something so bland and monotonous as sewing a mask. The same mask which in April of 2020 seemed like such a chore to make. Going to the grocery store was now an adventure and a weekly treat to go out and see the world. It would also mean a chance to show the world what I had made and the woman that I was becoming. I am exiting this pandemic as a more confident woman than the woman who entered. I now personify (or at least try to) the elegance and femininity that I used to be jealous of Lady Cora for. Sewing was ultimately an escape from the dark world I found myself in and it allowed me to look forward to a brighter future.