I chose to pursue a career in Clinical Psychology because of my desire to advocate for and support individuals struggling with mental health issues. My job training as a Human Intelligence Collector in the military exposed me to the significance of building rapport and understanding human behavior. Witnessing the mental health challenges faced by my fellow service members solidified my resolve to become a Clinical Psychologist. I intend to use my education to provide specialized care to veterans and others who have experienced trauma, helping them navigate their mental health challenges and improve their quality of life. Though it has taken me longer than most, thus far, I have earned my bachelor's degree in psychology and master's degree in forensic psychology, and am soon entering the third year of my doctoral program in clinical psychology. Unfortunately, my educational journey has been significantly impacted by the traumatic brain injury I sustained during deployment. This injury has made learning more challenging, particularly in terms of memorizing information and keeping track of assignments and tests. Overall, it is very apparent I need to outwork many of my classmates to maintain good grades, as evidenced by the greater number of hours spent studying and completing assignments. Despite these challenges, my perseverance and hard work toward my degree have only strengthened my sense of independence and autonomy. To me, independence means the ability to pursue my goals and live my life despite the challenges posed by my disabilities. It means supporting myself and encouraging my loved ones and members of my community to achieve their goals. Earning my doctorate in Clinical Psychology will promote my independence in many ways. First, it will be a reminder and symbol that I can achieve very difficult things despite my disability and increase my confidence in myself. Second, it will provide me with the financial stability to support myself and my loved ones in the same way many others without disabilities can. This career is also a flexible one. Because I struggle with a work/life balance due to the extra time it takes me to complete tasks, I will be able to manage my caseload in a way that allows me time to complete tasks and enjoy my personal life, unlike many other careers where the amount of work you have is dictated by others. Finally, the knowledge I gain throughout the completion of my degree will help me encourage, support, and teach others about how to improve their quality of life when living with disabilities, both physical and mental.

During my time on a COVID-impacted deployment from 2019 to 2020, I found myself facing many stressful challenges —manipulation, a pending divorce, and my demanding role as a suicide prevention representative. The weight of hearing narratives of fellow servicemen grappling with suicidal ideation and PTSD during previous deployments led me to adopt a maladaptive coping mechanism—emotional detachment. This self-imposed emotional barrier, constructed as a response to the overwhelming emotional toll, consequently impacted my ability to make and maintain relationships upon my return. Connecting with people during this period proved difficult due to my inherent mistrust of others and their intentions. I also struggled with extreme emotional outbursts, which I could not explain, ranging from panic attacks to extreme aggression, and I thought it would be impossible for anyone to understand how I was feeling. However, the burden of navigating this transition and the accompanying emotions alone became too much, prompting me to reach out to the one person I thought could understand — my grandfather. When my grandfather, a Korean War veteran, shared a narrative that resonated with my own struggles with PTSD, I felt heard. His story served as a testament to the enduring impact of military service on mental well-being and the intersectionality between trauma and relationships. At this point, having already earned a Bachelor's degree in psychology and pursuing a Master's in Forensic Psychology, my passion for a career in the mental health field intensified. Inspired by my grandfather's story, I recognized the potential resonance of my stories with veterans and service members and their ability to foster a sense of shared understanding. I immediately researched the requirements of becoming a Clinical Psychologist and what type of training and experience I would need to someday work for the Department of Veteran's Affairs in this capacity. I quickly realized I would need a doctorate degree and clinical experience conducting psychological assessments and working with severe mental illness, substance use, and trauma. After finishing my Master's degree, I accepted a position as a Forensic Case Manager, where I worked with individuals who struggled with severe mental illness, substance use, and, often, sexual trauma. While working here, I began applying to multiple doctorate programs, I was accepted to The Chicago School of Professional Psychology in Dallas, Texas, in February 2022. In August of 2022, my journey began, but it has not been without its challenges. When I first began school, my fight-or-flight instinct was working overtime. I was in an unknown environment, constantly doubting my ability and worthiness of being there, leaving class at least once a week due to panic attacks that felt as if they came out of nowhere. Eventually, after a lot of support from my faculty and classmates, I started seeing my experiences as advantages instead of circumstances that broke me. Over time, I have come to realize that the struggles and scenarios I have endured have made me more qualified than others to serve individuals struggling with trauma-related mental health disorders. As I continue this educational journey, my goal extends beyond personal growth. I aspire to address the unmet mental health needs of others, primarily by advocating for a reduction in the stigma surrounding mental health issues among service members and veterans. A short-term objective involves securing an internship at a VA clinic, where I aim to deepen my understanding of trauma-related therapeutic interventions, particularly tailored for military-involved populations.

My grandmother was my second mother and best friend for most of my life. When I felt there was nowhere else to turn, I always knew I could run into my grandmother's welcoming arms. As I grew older, I became a similar safe space for my grandmother. She felt comfortable sharing her struggles with depression and thoughts of death following the tragic loss of her son, daughter-in-law, and seventeen-year-old grandson in a house fire. Very few of my family members understood the depth of my grandmother's mental health struggles and encouraged her to take medication to solve her problems. I understood that medication was not an end-all, be-all solution for depression. I tried my best to provide support to my grandmother when she shared the thoughts and feelings she was having. I even tried to explain the gravity of her experiences with my mother so she, too, could begin to view mental health as a priority. Unfortunately, my grandmother's struggle with depression led to a rapid decrease in livelihood and willingness to live. This contributed to her experiencing chronic pain and weight gain and made it difficult for her to remain active. Over the last years of her life, after the house fire, I watched as my grandmother slowly disappeared. The once vibrant and sassy woman I knew her as no longer existed. She finally lost her battle with her mental and physical ailments in early 2022. My grandmother's death reignited my passion for mental health. I want to fight for people to understand that mental illness should not be taken lightly and is not always treatable with medication alone. In my doctorate program, I hope to learn ways to advocate for people who fall victim to mental health stigma, preventing them from seeking adequate treatment. I also find ways to teach my loved ones, friends, and family about the importance of mental health and provide them with a safe space to express their thoughts and feelings. One day I hope to ease the burden of mental health stigma on underrepresented populations. I specifically hope to work with members of society traditionally set aside by their communities. These individuals may include geriatric patients, criminals, and veterans.

Society's stigma around mental health is questionably the biggest barrier to adequate mental health care and treatment. Through education efforts and advocating for mental health awareness, individuals struggling with mental health can feel freer to seek the treatment and care they have needed for so long. These efforts can be cost-efficient and simple practices as small as implementing mental welfare check-ins in schools and workplaces. Depending on the finances allocated to these efforts, they could also be as extreme as creating infomercials to be viewed on streaming services such as Netflix, Hulu, or Amazon Prime. I personally believe that with society's recent interest in watching true crime television, allowing mental health professionals to participate in the filming of those shows could be a crucial step in educating the general public. Allowing a mental health professional to address and explain the underlying mental health considerations of criminals in the documentaries and television series that are frequently streamed throughout the United States on a daily basis could help educate the public on the appearance and warning signs of mental illness. This recognition of mental illness and treatment needs could then help reduce stigma and increase people struggling with mental health to pursue the treatment that they need. As the number of individuals afflicted with mental illness continues to rise as our country enters a potential third year of pandemic-related lockdown and change, a solution needs to be found and implemented sooner than later. Providing educational content within shows people are already watching as they spend an increased amount of time inside of their homes could be a wonderful solution.