At the time of writing this essay, I have not experienced silence for 88 days. That is, there has been a constant ringing noise in my ears for approximately 126,720 minutes or 7,603,200 seconds. The ringing began on a peaceful, routine evening as I bid my father goodnight, standing in our dimly lit kitchen and holding a cold glass of water. As I stood, leaning against the wall, the hearing in my right ear completely dropped out and was replaced by a terrible, high pitched ringing. My ability to hear quickly returned back to normal, and the ringing faded in volume to a manageable squeal within a few seconds. However, that moment marked a pivotal shift in my sensory experience of the world. Unfortunately, after the ringing in my right ear died down, I was horrified to notice it in my left ear as well. Upon hurrying into my mother’s room, panicking and explaining my newfound condition, my mother calmly informed me that the ringing was temporary. “Go to sleep”, she said, “It will be gone in the morning.” Her reassurances quelled my anxiety, at least to an underlying hum that seemed fixed to the level of the low ring piercing my skull, and I fell asleep with hope of a silent tomorrow. Unfortunately, that tomorrow was not silent, nor were the 50 days after that. In fact, since that one dreadful moment, the ringing has remained a new standard in my life. Although I’ve faced many challenges in life, my tinnitus stands out because it is unexplained and inescapable. Despite many doctors visits, there is no clear underlying condition or reason for the terrible ringing that has crawled its way into my head, and because of that, there is no easy fix. Additionally, there is no knowledge of if my tinnitus is permanent. And, even if it goes away, there is no guarantee that it will not return. However, the worst and most difficult thing about my tinnitus is that there is no escape. In the first few days of the ringing, I remember tearfully telling my mother that I didn’t know if I could survive even one more minute of the constant noise. Even with background music or white noise the ringing was always, always there just above it all. However, I did survive that next minute and the one after that, along with the following 126,720. With the perspective of those tens of thousands of minutes, my experience with tinnitus has taught me many invaluable lessons and inspired personal growth. My anxiety has taught me to reach out to my friends and family when I am struggling. The hard days have taught me that strength can be found from those around you when it cannot be found from within. My journey has taught me to not compare my own challenges with the challenges of those around me. The loss of what was once easy has taught me to be grateful for what still remains; my ability to still hear, see, walk, and run. My hopelessness has reinforced to me that there are still unknowns in medicine and that not everything can be cured. My curiosity has grown my fascination with how the human brain functions. My sadness has taught me that not all things will have a happy ending, but all things will teach you. Tinnitus has taught me that I can adapt to undesirable circumstances. It has taught me that I am strong enough to make it through challenges that are both big and small.

I am blessed to have grown up in a faith-based household. For as long as I can remember, I have been surrounded by the love of God. I grew up attending church, being a part of Vacation Bible School as both a participant and crew leader (volunteer), and leading worship in my Youth Group. This church foundation has given me a community of believers that I can always rely on. More than that, however, being raised in the church allowed me to create a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. My faith has helped me get through some of the toughest times in my life. For instance, after my grandfather died, I remember the pastor at his funeral telling us to focus on celebrating his life and his going home to Jesus instead of his death. Although this did not magically heal my hurt, my belief that my grandfather was free of pain himself and that I would one day be with him again allowed me to feel comfort in that moment of grief. Currently, I am struggling with tinnitus. I began hearing a constant ringing in my ears almost three months ago, and despite several doctors visits I have received no answer regarding its cause. At this point, I have no idea if the ringing in my ears is permanent, if it is caused by an underlying condition, or if it will fade on its own. Because of this, hearing constant ringing and feeling a total lack of control in the situation left me spiraling. I remember in the first few weeks crying out to God in prayer and asking him to take away the ringing, to take away my anxiety, and to heal me. More than that, I remember my intense frustration when my prayers were not immediately answered, and the guilt that came along with that. However, even when my prayers were not answered in the way I wanted, I was still able to find comfort in my faith. I began to lean more into my faith where I had been lacking: praying when I was anxious, reading my bible, and trying to intentionally notice the blessings in my life. Although my tinnitus has not ceased, and my struggles have not disappeared, I have found a certain peace and hope through my faith. I know that God will not abandon me and that he has a plan for my life, even when I do not understand. One of my favorite verses during this time has been John 16:33, which reads, "I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." As I move into the next stage of my life by pursuing higher education, I know that my faith in God will fill me with the same strength that I feel now in my troubles. Following college, I aspire to be a pediatric occupational therapist. In this career, I will reach many children who are suffering, struggling, or recovering from a traumatic event in their lives. Although I may not be able to directly minister to them, I know that my own faith will shine through my actions. I hope that through me, God will be able to provide these children the same hope that he has given me, and I know that I will continue to find peace in him through the good times and the bad.

My best back to school tip is to take time for yourself. It's easy to get caught up in an overwhelming amount of assignments, and for any other high school seniors, this year is especially stressful with college applications. Because of this, it's even more important to make sure you take time for the things you enjoy. You want to be able to look back on your high school years fondly with positive memories instead of just holing yourself up in work all the time. I promise that one day that you take for your mental health every now will not tear apart your high school record or GPA. It's all about balance: do your work and stay engaged in school, but also watch your favorite T.V. show, spend time with your friends, and play that new video game. Instagram: @_alyssahudson_

My maternal grandparents recently celebrated their 70th and 74th birthdays respectively. Although their age has limited them on some physical activity, they make it a point to be active every single day. Their most impressive commitment is walking at least 10,000 steps per day. My grandma has completed this without missing a day for over 2 years, and my grandpa only missed a day when he fell ill to the flu. When I asked my grandmother why her and my grandfather prioritize walking every day to such a high extent, she simply responded, "I want to be healthy enough to enjoy my life and see my grandchildren live theirs." My grandparents' example has set a standard in my life, and it is because of their model that I believe it is important to live a healthy life so you can fully experience the important moments. Whether than means being able to walk up the stairs to get into my sister's apartment, have enough energy to play the sport I love, or live long enough to see my cousins grow up, living a healthy lifestyle will give me the best possible chance of being able to be present, happy, and fulfilled. I do my best to maintain a healthy lifestyle by taking care of all aspects of my health, especially during the school year. To maintain my physical health, I play basketball on my school's varsity team. This allows me to be physically active five to six days a week, and challenges my agility, strength, and drive. Additionally, I try my best to find a balance with what I eat, such as packing a more balanced lunch instead of buying form the cafeteria. I try to get at least 8 hours of sleep per night, and I attend yearly check-ups with a primary care physician. I make it a priority to reach out to my friends and family on a daily basis as a part of my mental and social health. I also make a point of setting boundaries and cutting off relationships that are toxic. I also add additional self care into my routine when I want to really focus on my mental health. For me, self care includes reading, listening to music, journaling, etc. During the school year I find myself easily overwhelmed, so I try to take regular breaks and make time for the things I enjoy. In conclusion, I believe it's important to live a healthy lifestyle in order to be able to experience life to the fullest. This includes being present, able, and mentally well enough to enjoy the important moments in life. While being in school, I make a consistent effort to take care of my physical, social, and mental health. However, I feel that I should make an additional point: I am also able to maintain a healthy lifestyle during the school year because I was blessed with good health. I am lucky to be physically well, I have a great support system, and I have had access to many resources to assist in my struggles with mental health. I understand that a healthy lifestyle will look different for every person based on their own health and needs, and I believe that making sure students have access to all kinds of health support is extremely important. Easy access to resources can completely transform students lives, and contributions from each healthy student builds a healthy, collaborative, growing community of learners. Because of this, I believe that through supporting the health of all students, schools will truly thrive.

My maternal grandparents recently celebrated their 70th and 74th birthdays respectively. Although their age has limited them on some physical activity, they make it a point to be active every single day. Their most impressive commitment is walking at least 10,000 steps per day. My grandma has completed this without missing a day for over 2 years, and my grandpa only missed a day when he fell ill to the flu. When I asked my grandmother why her and my grandfather prioritize walking every day to such a high extent, she simply responded, "I want to be healthy enough to enjoy my life and see my grandchildren live theirs." My grandparents' example has set a standard in my life, and it is because of their model that I believe it is important to live a healthy life so you can fully experience the important moments. Whether than means being able to walk up the stairs to get into my sister's apartment, have enough energy to play the sport I love, or live long enough to see my cousins grow up, living a healthy lifestyle will give me the best possible chance of being able to be present, happy, and fulfilled. I do my best to maintain a healthy lifestyle by taking care of my physical, social, and emotional health. To maintain my physical health, I play basketball on my school's varsity team. This allows me to be physically active five to six days a week, and challenges my agility, strength, and drive. Additionally, I try my best to find a balance with what I eat and to get at least 8 hours of sleep per night, and I attend yearly check-ups with a primary care physician. To maintain my social health, I make it a priority to reach out to my friends and family on a daily basis. I also make a point of setting boundaries and cutting off relationships that are toxic. Lastly, to maintain my emotional health, I do all of the things I spoke of before, in addition to adding self care into my routine. For me, self care includes reading, listening to music, journaling, and reaching out to those around me when I am struggling (amongst other things). In conclusion, I believe it's important to live a healthy lifestyle in order to be able to experience life to the fullest. This includes being present, able, and mentally well enough to enjoy the important moments in life. I maintain a healthy lifestyle through making a consistent effort to take care of my physical, social, and mental health. However, I feel that I should make an additional point: I am also able to maintain a healthy lifestyle because I was blessed with good health. I am lucky to be physically well, I have a great support system, and I have had access to many resources to assist in my struggles with mental health. I understand that a healthy lifestyle will look different for every person based on their own health and needs. Because of this, my reasoning for and way of living a healthy life is not universal. However, living a healthy life should be important to everyone.

This is the story of how curiosity allowed me to find my passion, and how my passion fulfilled a sense of purpose in my life. It started before I was old enough to remember. My mother once told me that soon after I gained the ability to speak, I began bombarding her with the question, “why?”. My countless questioning was the first understanding of curiosity I recognized, the asking of “why?” as a way to contextualize the world around me. I believe that all children share an innate, innocent curiosity. For many, curiosity presents as a need to explore: to climb, run, and disobey. Personally, I felt a unique relationship with curiosity. My brain worked analytically. Instead of merely wanting to discover my surroundings, I longed to understand how they originated and why they operated in such a way. I can vividly remember the first time I experienced frustration with this curiosity in an academic setting. One day after school in fifth grade, as I climbed into my mother’s car, I began crying inconsolably. My last subject of the day was math, and I had learned the multiplication of negatives. Although the particular lesson was insignificant to my mother and my sister, I could not comprehend it. I did not understand why it worked, how two negatives multiplied could produce a positive. I was disheartened that nobody recognized my need to grasp the “why?”, that nobody would explain it. Nearly a decade later, I am still transported back to the frustration of my younger self when I can not understand the “why?”. With maturity, I have gained the ability to recognize this frustration as a byproduct of my curiosity. Even so, I never fully understood curiosity until I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder in ninth grade, and I discovered that my desire to comprehend was rooted in a need to control. I found that when I could not fulfill my curiosity, I no longer felt competent. This interpretation altered my perspective on curiosity, which changed the way I approached learning. Suddenly, my curiosity became a tool instead of a hindrance. Instead of simply wondering why something was, I began questioning the way I thought. I wondered why my brain functioned the way it did, and how the way I thought affected who I was. Thus, my fascination with psychology blossomed, and studying psychology became a passion of mine. I was desperate to understand the human brain and emotions. For the first time, I felt curious about a subject in a manner that was not frustrating, as if a door in my mind had opened and flooded with a newfound fascination to learn. The satisfaction of teaching myself new information transformed my attitude about school. Exploring my curiosity allowed me to feel as though I gained a purpose in life. Because of this, finding a passion in psychology through my curiosity reshaped my life. The discovery of this passion gave me a purpose and a way to find fulfillment in life. I am driven to continue learning about psychology in college, especially the brain development of children. I hope that my undergraduate study of psychology will allow me to get a graduate degree in occupational therapy, a field that will allow me to directly help and support people on a day-to-day basis. Curiosity allowed me to find fulfillment in my life and direction for my future through discovery of my passion, something that has improved me as a person and a student, and has set me on a lifelong journey as I fulfill my need to understand the “why?”

The quality I value most in myself is curiosity. My mother once told me that soon after I gained the ability to speak, I began bombarding her with the question, “why?”. My countless questioning was the first understanding of curiosity I recognized, the asking of “why?” as a way to contextualize the world around me. I believe that all children share an innate, innocent curiosity. For many, curiosity presents as a need to explore: to climb, run, and disobey. Personally, I felt a unique relationship with curiosity. My brain worked analytically. Instead of merely wanting to discover my surroundings, I longed to understand how they originated and why they operated in such a way. I can vividly remember the first time I experienced frustration with this curiosity in an academic setting. One day after school in fifth grade, as I climbed into my mother’s car, I began crying inconsolably. My last subject of the day was math, and I had learned the multiplication of negatives. Although the particular lesson was insignificant to my mother and my sister, I could not comprehend it. I did not understand why it worked, how two negatives multiplied could produce a positive. I was disheartened that nobody recognized my need to grasp the “why?”, that nobody would explain it. Nearly a decade later, I am still transported back to the frustration of my younger self when I can not understand the “why?”. With maturity, I have gained the ability to recognize this frustration as a byproduct of my curiosity. Even so, I never fully understood curiosity until I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder in ninth grade, and I discovered that my desire to comprehend was rooted in a need to control. I found that when I could not fulfill my curiosity, I no longer felt competent. This interpretation altered my perspective on curiosity, which changed the way I approached learning. Suddenly, my curiosity became a tool instead of a hindrance. Instead of simply wondering why something was, I began questioning the way I thought. I wondered why my brain functioned the way it did, and how the way I thought affected who I was. Thus, my fascination with psychology blossomed. I was desperate to understand the human brain and emotions. For the first time, I felt curious about a subject in a manner that was not frustrating, as if a door in my mind had opened and flooded with a newfound fascination to learn. The satisfaction of teaching myself new information transformed my attitude about school. Exploring my curiosity allowed me to feel as though I gained a purpose in life. Because of this, my curiosity is something I value most about myself. It is a quality of mine that gives me a purpose and a way to find fulfillment in life. I am driven to continue learning about psychology in college, especially the brain development of children. I hope that my undergraduate study of psychology will allow me to get a graduate degree in occupational therapy, a field that will allow me to directly help and support people on a day-to-day basis. Curiosity allowed me to find fulfillment in my life and direction for my future, something that has improved me as a person and a student, and has set me on a lifelong journey as I fulfill my need to understand the “why?”.

French poet Anatole France wrote, “Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened.” Since I was a little girl, I have had a deep care for all animals. I joined my school's Humane Society Club in sixth grade, and have remained a part of the club for six years. My involvement within the club is driven by my love for animals and my experience with my own dog, Tucker. Although Tucker lived a happy life, he was attacked by another dog and killed when I was ten years old. That moment of grief solidified to me the importance of caring for and protecting animals. I never want any other animals to suffer, and I believe I have a responsibility to make changes in any way I can to prevent that. When the club sponsor of Humane Society Club left our school prior to my ninth grade year, I took the initiative to propose the club to several teachers and administration, and found a new club sponsor. This action led to me being named Vice President in grades nine, ten, and eleven. As one of the only two remaining members for the original club, I took the responsibility to organize and build the club from the ground up, to where it is now at about 20 members. I ran the advertising booth at club rush, directed fundraisers, and organized supply drives and volunteer dates. The club president often had to be absent from meetings, so I stepped into his position and began running the meetings as well. Although this was a challenging and overwhelming position to undertake, it is a position I cherish. Since I have been a part of the club, we have raised thousands of dollars through fundraisers, and spoken to other students and parents about the importance of organizations such as the Humane Society. Currently, I am working with the other club officers to organize events for this year. We are organizing a fundraiser selling chocolate bars and brainstorming other events. This year, we are hoping to return to volunteering directly at the Madison County Humane Society, which we were unable to do for the past two years due to COVID-19 restrictions. This will allow me to give back directly through service instead of just charity and advocacy. I believe that by supporting animals in need I am directly promoting the welfare of my community, both human and animal. I hope that my work in the Humane Society Club inspires my community to care for each individual life, big and small. I know that my work in animal advocacy positively affects my community by caring for the smallest members: the animals in need of homes. These animals are taken off the streets to create a safer urban area, and in turn bring joy to the families who adopt them. In conclusion, I am passionate about animal advocacy because of my dog, Tucker, and my first-hand experience witnessing the true power of bettering an animals life through my work in my school's Humane Society Club.

In modern pop culture, leadership is emphasized as spectacular works of fantastical scale and bravery. Superhero movies display heroes with extraordinary abilities leading civilians to safety, directing team members, and saving the day while never breaking a sweat. Despite this, I never felt heroic when taking on my own leadership roles: stepping up to run Humane Society Club meetings with no experience, training new hires at my job, and spending hours trying to organize and find a facility for my Girl Scout Silver Award. To me, leadership is the opposite of a glamorized ideal. Real leadership consists of hard work and grit. It is doing the small tasks, being kind, and speaking up when nobody else will. It begins within one’s community, and is the responsibility of every person to do their part. I am a leader because I am willing to dedicate myself to the organizations I am passionate about with positivity, even when the work is hard. Because of this, I have gained leadership skills such as dependability, organization, and the ability to teach and mentor. After being elected Vice President of my school’s Humane Society Club (grades 9, 10, and 11), an example of my dependability was displayed when I was nominated by the club sponsor to be treasurer of the club’s bake sale booth. In addition to organizing and scheduling workers, I was entrusted with handling all money before, during, and after the event. I was chosen for this responsibility over several of the older club members, which I feel is a testament to my trustworthiness and dependability. My organization skills were tested during the planning phase of my Girl Scout Silver Award. As a part of this award, my troop hosted an event for upcoming sixth grade girls to help prepare them for middle school. While arranging this event, we had to re-organize the entire project after we were not able to host it at the planned facility. Due to this, I took this initiative to speak to my school’s administration and was able to organize the event at my school’s library. I have demonstrated my ability to teach and mentor through being selected (and participating) as a student coach for middle school basketball players and through assisting the training of new hires at my job (HomeGoods Merchandise Associate). Currently, these skills allow me to succeed in school, sports, and other commitments. Speaking up and not being afraid to step into new roles has provided me with countless valuable opportunities, each of which have fostered personal growth. In the future, I will use these leadership skills to assist people in a professional setting. I have always had a passion for helping others, which is why I am driven to study psychology, leading to a job in occupational therapy. Being dependable and having the ability to teach and mentor will allow me to fulfill this passion. Additionally, these skills, along with other leadership skills such as listening, empathizing, and building relationships, will empower me to succeed as an occupational therapist. As I previously mentioned, I believe that leadership consists of hard work and being kind. Leadership is important in the occupational therapy profession for this reason, as without dedication, effort, and compassion, one would be unable to service others. Due to this, I believe my leadership skills are establishing a path of personal fulfillment and professional success throughout my future.

French poet Anatole France wrote, “Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened.” Since I was a little girl, I have had a deep care for all animals. I joined my school's Humane Society Club in sixth grade, and have remained a part of the club for six years. My involvement within the club is driven by my love for animals and my passion to advocate for them. When the club sponsor left our school prior to my ninth grade year, I took the initiative to propose the club to several teachers and administration, and found a new club sponsor. This action led to me being named Vice President in grades nine, ten, and eleven. As one of the only two remaining members for the original club, I took the responsibility to organize and build the club from the ground up, to where it is now at about 20 members. I ran the advertising booth at club rush, directed fundraisers, and organized supply drives and volunteer dates. The club president often had to be absent from meetings, so I stepped into his position and began running the meetings as well. Although this was a challenging and overwhelming position to undertake, it is a position I cherish, and one that has taught me countless leadership skills. Since I have been a part of the club, we have raised thousands of dollars through fundraisers. One of our most popular fundraisers is the selling of chocolate bars from Old Kentucky Chocolates. My responsibilities within this fundraiser include: working with the treasurer and school administration to purchase the chocolates, picking up the chocolates and distributing them to members, and organizing who has turned in money, as well as the money itself. Another fundraiser we typically do is a bake sale at our school’s Spring Fling, although this has been limited due to coronavirus restrictions the past two years. During my ninth grade year, we were able to successfully run the booth, during which I organized who was bringing goods and the shifts each person would work, decorated the booth, and managed and carried the money. I also stepped in to cover shifts of those who were unable to attend. Currently, I am working with the other club officers to organize events for this year. We are once again organizing a fundraiser selling chocolate and brainstorming other events. This year, we are hoping to return to volunteering directly at the Madison County Humane Society, which we were unable to do for the past two years due to COVID-19 restrictions. This will allow me to give back directly through service instead of just charity. Although when thinking of "humanitarian acts" supporting animals in need may not immediately spring to mind as fitting the definition, I believe that by supporting animals in need I am directly promoting the welfare of my community, both human and animal. I hope that my work in the Humane Society Club inspires my community to care for each individual life, big and small. I know that supporting an organization like the Humane Society positively affects my community by caring for the smallest members: the animals in need of homes. These animals are taken off the streets to create a safer urban area, and in turn bring joy to the families who adopt them. The leadership skills I have gained from this experience include decisiveness, problem-solving, and dependability. These are skills that will allow me to flourish as I continue finding new ways to give back to the members of my community, including those with four legs.

The life and death of my first dog, Tucker taught me many lessons that I carry with me today. When I was 4 years old, my family adopted a puppy named Tucker. At this age, although I didn't know much about being a pet owner, all I had wanted was to get a dog. My older sister and I had spent months begging our parents for a dog, who repeatedly emphasized the responsibility and care that a puppy would need. At 4, I couldn't do much for a puppy, but my sister (who was several years older) convinced my parents that she could commit to his care. So, my family made a trip to pick up our new family member, and a bundle of joy in the form of a tiny puppy was introduced into my life. The issue was, at 4 years old, I hadn't quite mastered the gentle compassion needed for bonding with a dog. I would accidentally pull his ears or his tail, cry too loudly around him, or just ignore him for my other toys. However, despite initial wariness, Tucker showed me unrelenting loyalty and care even at such a young age. Through caring for Tucker I was able to learn those skills of a gentle, caring nature. As I grew older along with Tucker, we both learned from each other. I would teach him as many tricks as I could manage: sit, shake, down, jump, high five, etc. In turn, Tucker taught me how to be patient and gentle, and most importantly he taught me how to love all of the beautiful animals that would come into my life after him. Unfortunately, although Tucker lived a healthy and happy life, he suffered an unfair death when he was six years old. While my family was on vacation, we paid for Tucker to stay at a doggy daycare/boarding center. "A Five-Star hotel for dogs," my dad would jokingly describe it. However, during this particular vacation in Florida when I was 10, tragedy struck. There was an accident as the boarding facility, and Tucker was attacked by two dogs that were much larger than he was. Despite the staff's efforts and a hasty drive to the nearest emergency vet, Tucker passed shortly after. My parents spared my sister and I, as although they received a call with the news of his death a few days into our trip, they did not tell us until we were home. I remember being entirely devastated. the loss of Tucker was one of my first experiences with grief, and I was stuck by the unfairness of the situation. Most of all, I hated the fact that none of us were there with Tucker when he passed. I worried that he must have felt alone, in pain, and scared. However, the pain didn't last forever. Although I still miss Tucker today, now when I think back on our time together, I reflect on the happy moments. I remember how it was to grow up with a four legged best friend. To go on walks together, to sneak him scraps of my food, to play tug, and to dress him up for Halloween (he was the cutest bumblebee most years). Tucker undeniably changed my life for the better and showed me the true impact a dog can have. Having Tucker influenced me to join the Humane Society Club at my school so I could try to help animals in less fortunate positions. Being with him grew the love of animals that resides in me today. I love and miss you Tucker.