At eight years old, I lost my dad to the practically escapeless disease, cancer. Although I didn’t see him very often because of work, whenever he was around he lit up the room, he brought endless joy to those around him. He was so silly and a truly amazing dad to my sister and I. How could someone so good deserve such a short life? At a young age I was exposed to the cruel nature of life. I understood that he was dying, but I don’t think I fully grasped the fact that I would never see my dad again. The feeling of when I found out is engraved in my mind, my body, it felt like I was drowning, endlessly sinking, with nothing stopping the tears. It was the type of cry when you're laughing really hard, with your stomach aching while trying to gasp for air. I remember the last visit I had with my dad, he could barely move while attempting, but unable to speak, he scribbled words on a small notepad. It was so sloppy I struggled to make sense of it. He told us that he was going to make it and that he is strong so as not to worry, and I believed him. Little did I know he had lied to me that day.
I think what people miss most in life is what good can be found in times of sorrow. We often take for granted what we have. I’d like to thank my mom, for showing strength within times of weakness, she never gave up on my sister and I, hiding her suffering so we wouldn’t worry, so we could grow with the possibility of happiness. Losing your father is horrible, but losing the person you most love? I could never fathom that. So I think we should cherish the moments of happiness, and move forward, but not to forget. We need to live, not exist and not miss out the opportunities offered. My experience has brought years of grief, but it has also brought me a chance to find myself. I think the things people can learn from a death, especially about themselves, is more than they know. I am not sure I deserve the life I have, it is not perfect, but I am happy, and I can say that I am more than lucky. I am lucky to have found this open perspective on life, and I am curious to see what my future holds while still enjoying the present. I now know that the world is deadly, but it is beyond beautiful.