In primary school, I was referred to as the “smart kid” by my peers. An invisible bar had been set from that early in my life, pressuring me to live up to my so-called smart title. Not many eyes were batted when I memorized my times tables by the age of seven, and nothing less was expected than me testing into the gifted program or reading several levels above the rest of my classmates. Adults around me and I recognized that I had an aptitude for various careers, but aptitude does not equal affinity.
Despite making mostly A’s in my classes, nothing made me happy like coming home and singing my heart out, sometimes to my mother’s annoyance. That is not to say that I did not enjoy the more academically-challenging subjects. I loved math, and my mom and I laugh upon reflecting on the way I used to geek out over the different types of clouds in the sky. I would give my mom lectures about scientific concepts, ranging from the differences between frogs and toads to facts about newly discovered dwarf planets. Outside of school, I often did extensive science research, which helped to build the bond I had with my sixth grade science teacher.
Seventh grade marked the beginning of an ongoing tumultuous period in my life. In elementary school, people called me smart but otherwise did not express many opinions of me. In elementary school, I was not berated and ridiculed for the clothes I wore or how my face looked. As much as the bullying, both in-person and online, broke me, I know it broke my mother as well. Before 2018, she had a happy daughter. Since I lost my confidence, things have been hard for my family. Circumstances were already tough, my mom being a single parent, but prior to then, I was content despite my family’s struggles.
In 2021, I was hospitalized and diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety. A later diagnosis of PTSD would explain the way I was triggered by anything that reminded me of seventh grade and how inferior I felt. It was also around this time that I began to realize how important music was to me.
From a tender age, I knew that I wanted to “be a singer”, but the challenges that life threw my way gave music a new meaning in my life. When I would have a panic attack, my family would encourage me to sing, knowing that singing brought me joy. It was amazing, the way tension would instantly leave my body when I began to sing. Singing compounded with my longtime hobby of writing have served as two of my favorite coping mechanisms. I later picked up playing the acoustic guitar and the digital piano.
An honor roll student choosing to pursue a career in music does not seem fitting, as many adults in my life have said or implied. Despite the advice that I received to consider a different path, I have been persistent in my musical pursuits. I love math and science and later grew to love history, but none of these disciplines had as large of an impact on me as music did.
To reconcile the importance I have always placed on my academics and my love for creating music, I have chosen to study marketing with a minor in music in postsecondary school. A marketing degree will help me to strategically market my talents, paving the way for me to do what I love as a career while making a living. I feel that a music career would not only be beneficial for me, but my artistry can also help listeners by: 1) showing other young minorities that their dreams are achievable, and 2) giving me an avenue to share my story and help listeners feel less alone. After researching several universities, I took particular interest in Western Governors University. Given its flexibility, being an online institution, this school felt like a perfect fit for my current season of life.
High school was particularly hard, my illness often conflicting with my academic abilities. This obstacle sometimes caused me to under-perform at school. Nevertheless, my teachers recognized that the symptoms I experienced were not an accurate measure of what I was academically capable of.
My illnesses have also taken a toll on my mother emotionally and financially, which is why I am seeking this scholarship. I would love to continue my education, but I know that my mother cannot realistically finance that dream, working in a single-income household and paying my medical expenses. I am in need of financial assistance so that I can fulfill this dream as a testament to a battle overcome. Thank you for this opportunity.