For me, stating that mental health is important would be an understatement. My upbringing was complicated, and a large part of that had to do with both my parent’s mental illnesses. My father struggled with substance use and depression, while my mom struggled with bipolar disorder and anxiety. Both my parents never sought out treatment for their illnesses, and I watched as it tore my family apart. I learned at a young age how truly damaging mental illness can be not only for the individual experiencing it but also for those around them. As I got older, I noticed I was struggling with many of the same feelings my parents felt. I had a lot of hurt, anger, and confusion from the things I had been through, and I developed unhealthy coping mechanisms. I became scared, and I thought that I was destined to take the same path my parents did. My grandma was a huge help in starting my mental health journey. I didn't have the resources to seek help for myself, but my grandma always believed in my potential. She took it upon herself to find me a therapist and assured me that I would have a fighting chance. Her efforts to give me this chance have been a large part of my inspiration to continue growing. After I moved out, I spent time focusing on work to support myself and my partner. However, after some time, I noticed I was struggling again. Now that I was out on my own things were different. I couldn't stop analyzing my past, why my parents were the way they were, and what I supposed to do with all of these thoughts and feelings. Things got dark again for a while, but eventually, with the support of my loved ones, I took the initiative to seek out treatment again because I knew I didn't want to suffer the same consequences as my parents. I was diagnosed with chronic depression, generalized anxiety disorder, and PTSD. These diagnoses hit me like a brick, and I knew it meant I had a lot of work to do to maintain a healthy lifestyle and get through school. Self awareness, journaling, painting, and introspection became incredibly important to me, as they became outlets for me to process my emotions and make peace with my past. I also started therapy again and have continued to do so. Through mindfulness and a significant amount of healing, I’ve found purpose in my suffering. I can't say I'm happy to have suffered, but I wouldn't go back and change any of it. Because of what I have been through, I have a very empathic view of the world, and I'm proud of who I've become. Throughout my journey, I've met so many people who struggle in many of the same ways I struggled, and I've been privileged enough to hear some of those stories and offer compassion. I wouldn't trade that for the world. Once I achieve my bachelor's and master's degrees in social work, I intend on using the lessons I've learned to help others and bring awareness to the importance of mental well-being. Knowing I can take those experiences and own them to create something beautiful inspires me. Not every day is easy, but each day I have a choice. I can wake up and feel sorry for myself, or I can get up and make something of myself and help others do the same. My destiny is determined by my choices, not my mental illness, and I choose to fight. I choose to succeed.

Growing up I often heard the saying, “listen to your elders” because of their life experience and wisdom offered. My grandma had this life experience, wisdom, and so much more she offered to the world around her. Between her involvement in her church, ownership of a family business, and raising five of her own children as well as my little brother and I, she had her hands full. Despite her bustling life, she always maintained her kind heart and worked hard to touch the lives of those around her. I was lucky enough to be one of those she shared that beauty with. As a child, life was difficult. My mother struggled with untreated mental illness, eventually leaving my father alone to care for my younger brother and I. With my dad’s long hours of work, my brother and I often found ourselves with grandma. Despite his hard work, my father didn’t have enough money to pay for schooling or other necessities such as clothing and ample food for our family. The financial stress he was under led to a tumultuous home life, including drug use and legal battles as a result. My grandma stepped in, providing a place filled with unconditional love and safety. Eventually, my grandmother gained full custody of me. She was my saving grace, opening her home to me. I was struggling with hurt, anger, and confusion over my parents and the things that had happened. Around this time, grandma shared with me that she had been abused by her father as a child. She knew what I had been through, and by sharing this with me, I knew I wasn’t alone. Seeing such a beautiful and empowered woman, despite what she experienced, gave me hope that I too could grow. Grandma gave me the ability to progress past the pain, fear, and barriers preventing me from becoming a successful young adult. She showed me what it meant to be a loving and caring person and taught me the value of education. She got me the therapy I needed, where I found my passion for helping people. This led to my decision to pursue a bachelor’s and master’s degree in social work to eventually become a Licensed Clinical Social Worker. I want to give to others what my grandma had given to me, hope. The past year had been incredibly difficult for my grandmother, seemingly out of nowhere. It started New Year’s Eve when she fell breaking her ankle. She wasn’t able to walk, and that meant she wouldn’t be able to take care of herself or my grandpa. My family decided to move my grandparents into assisted living. My grandparents had lived in the same house for decades, so leaving was hard on both of them but my grandma in particular. A short while after grandma moved into assisted living, she fell and broke her hip trying to save my grandpa from a fall. She and my grandpa laid in a dark parking lot until they could pull themselves to their car, grab their phone, and call for help. Hearing that was absolutely devastating for me, but I knew my pain couldn’t match the pain my grandparents must have been in. My grandma was moved into a hospital area within the assisted living center to take time to recover. During this time, she had another fall due to a toilet assistance seat being improperly secured, further injuring her already broken hip. She was rushed to Saint Vincent’s for emergency surgery. Because of this surgery, she developed a blood clot inducing a seizure, causing her to lose the ability to swallow and therefore nourish herself or communicate properly. Within a few months, my grandma had been broken down and completely lost her independence. I remember walking into the hospital to see her for the first time since everything had happened. My once lively and active grandma had been reduced to skin and bone. Watching my hero, my light, my biggest supporter, and my surrogate mom suffer has been the most difficult period of grief I’ve ever faced. I always envisioned her being there when I got married, graduated college, bought my first house, and had my first child. Knowing she won’t be there is devastating. However, I know she’ll always be in my heart. I want my grandma to be proud of the woman I am becoming. I know by working hard for my degree and my career, I’ll be honoring her legacy. I want to be a strong role model for my little brother and inspire others the same way she inspired me. No matter where you come from, success is possible as long as you apply yourself. Thank you Cat Zingano for providing this scholarship and taking the time to hear my story.