My name is Alyssa Callaham, I am 17, my favorite bands are Opeth and Rammstein, and I've been listening to Metal my whole life. My dad is a metalhead and I practically stole his music taste. From System of a Down to Metallica to Death to Morbid Angel, those were once my dad's favorite bands. I also enjoy writing stories, drawing, doing research, and reading. I want to be the first in my family to graduate with more than a two-year degree. I am aiming for getting a medical doctorate and going to medical school for Psychiatry. Professionally, I would love to be either a Psychiatrist or a Medical Examiner. At the end of the day though, all I want to do with my future career is help those who are going through the worst days of their lives. This scholarship award would be very beneficial to me due to the fact that I come from a very low-income household. My mother's disability was all we could live off of, and recently, my mother committed suicide. So, I am going to finance my own college through loans, grants, and hopefully some scholarships. This award would be extremely helpful to me, and it would change my life. It would allow me to chase my dreams of helping those who are struggling through crises, tragedies, and much more. Heavy Metal music is more than just music to me. It's an escape from the harsh reality of what I'm going through, It's like being in another world where nothing matters except for the music. Without metal music, my life would be completely different. I have met so many friends, involved myself in so many communities, experienced so many things, and been pushed to keep going because of metal music. Metallica was the first metal band I dived into. They were my whole world. I knew every fact and could name every song off every album, even how long the song was. I still have countless shirts, posters, and even jewelry because of my love for them. The story of Cliff Burton was something that changed my life, and it especially changed my mindset when it came to life. His untimely death made me realize that life is short, and it could be taken away at any time. It helped me realize that I shouldn't cut my life off before its natural ending. Metallica helped me keep going through one of the most dreadful years of my life. In fact, Metallica is still helping me to this day. With the recent tragedy of my mother's suicide, their song "Screaming Suicide" has been cathartic for me to listen to. It has been helping me since day one. I listen to it when I'm having a hard time coping, I listen to it when I need a push to keep going, or even if I've just been struggling that day. Even now with my mother's untimely death, metal has been the one thing I can count on to always be there when I've had a bad day. If school was draining, if I've had an emotional day, or if I just need an escape from everything, I get in my car and crank up the volume to jam out to Opeth, Rammstein, In Flames, Gojira, and Metallica. It is the one thing that provides me comfort. It helps me know I will never be alone. I want to use this scholarship to help provide people with the same feeling that metal provides me. The feeling of comfort, the feeling of companionship, and the feeling of happiness after a terrible day. I want to take this opportunity to help further my education so that one day, I can help people cope with whatever they may be going through. I want to provide those who may be struggling with a second chance. Just like how when I was struggling, metal music provided me with a second chance and a much-needed change to my mindset.

Mental health has long been a taboo topic within my family for as long as I can remember. No one spoke of it, no one struggled with it, and no one ever reached out for help. My grandmother was shunned by our family due to her Bipolar II, and my mother constantly hid her depression. On April 27th, 2023, my mother committed suicide, and it shook my family to the core. Everyone felt so displaced, lost, and confused as if we were trying to find our way through thick fog. I am still dealing with the repercussions of losing my only parent, my best friend, and the person I could tell everything. Her suicide has pushed me even further towards finding a career in mental health, and hopefully helping people who have struggled like me. Possibly helping those who struggled as my mom did. The pain I experienced when I had to say goodbye to my mother far too early is something I never want anyone else to experience. If I can help just one person through a crisis, if I can help one person find the desire to live another day, I will feel successful. I will feel as if I have a purpose. I never want anyone to feel as if they don't matter, to feel as if they need to hide their true feelings, and I never want anyone to feel alone. Having a career in mental health would enable me to help those who are dealing with feelings of self-harm, suicide, anger, embarrassment, and so much more. I would be able to help them, and hopefully help them through the struggle of dealing with mental health in such a dark world. I would be able to help them through their thoughts and guide them to a path that doesn't involve suicide. Suicide and battles with mental health have become even more common in this day and age. I feel that my first-hand experiences with suicide, and my own battle with mental health would make me even more equipped for a job in the field of mental health. I would have these experiences that would make me far more relatable, and possibly a far more comfortable person to talk to. I know how daunting it can be to reach out for help, but having someone that truly understands what you're going through makes the task far less frightening. Suicide has impacted me by taking away my best friend, my rock, and most importantly my mother. Suicide has impacted me by changing the dynamics of my family and displacing many of us. Suicide has also pushed me towards solidifying my choice of a career in mental health, and it has also shown me that everyone deserves help. It has taught me to always reach out, no matter how big or small your feelings are.